Clearing Mist
by shadownumera
Summary: I have the worst luck ever. First off, I die. Then I get reborn into the Naruto universe. Yay right? WRONG. Nobody ever said you get to be reborn into Konoha. Which makes finding out where I am in the story line that much harder. I don't know if I can change anything, or if the bloodbath is far behind me. One thing's official though. I'm screwed. SI/OC Warning
1. Prologue

_I admittedly lost my muse for the other story I was writing. So, that one is on a hiatus until my mind starts cooperating with me._

_In the mean time, have another self-insert/OC-insert story, written for laughs. __Romance will be_ in later chapters, I promise  


**Disclaimer**: Don't own Naruto

No Beta - would love one though

* * *

You know... I never believed in reincarnation, falling into other worlds, or any of that jazz. When you died, you were dead. If you were lucky, maybe you got some sort of happy afterlife sort of thing. Sure, I was an avid fanfiction reader, and I had come across numerous self-inserts about somehow getting into one alternate universe or another. Heck, some of those stories were my personal favorites. I knew such things could never happen. And if they did, it wouldn't happen to me.

I was just your average girl, nothing special about me or my life.

Most of the stories I adored depended on the person being physically fit to survive in that world, which I wasn't.

Or a genius, which I also wasn't.

Besides, at my current age of twenty-one and the impossible happened and I _did_ end up in an alternate world, no matter where I got dropped off into any story-line I wouldn't be able to gain any character's trust quickly enough to make any difference or change anything.

You could say that I had thought of the possibilities of being able to change various story-lines for the better, then dismissed them as idle fancy. An amusing thought, nothing more. And then I had to go and die and prove myself wrong.

It was your normal, nothing special day. I was simply trying to go get some lunch as we were out of acceptable food in my home. Yes, the road I lived on had some heavy traffic this time of day, but nothing unmanageable. It was far too early for chaos.

Or so I thought.

Honestly, how was I supposed to suspect there would be a drunk driver in this heavy traffic, at this time of day, miles away from any bar? But, apparently I am the unluckiest person ever. Because that's what happened.

I knew in the instant before that car hit mine that I would not survive the impact. I'd like to say I bid goodbye to my family, saw my life flash before my eyes, etc. But no. My only thought was _Well... shit_.

And then it was all over.

There was the distinct feeling of my soul being dragged elsewhere somewhat viciously. I didn't bother resisting, figuring this was my personal version of passing on. Allow me to say this: it sucked. Majorly.

A blinding white light made me wince. Could souls wince?_So the stories ARE true about the light..._ even in death I guess I couldn't help the snarky comments. Then sensation hit me. Weren't dead people not supposed to feel anything? But I could feel... I could hear... did I survive somehow? People were talking around me, but I couldn't understand a thing they said. Maybe I had gotten a severe concussion instead of actually dying?

That'd be an unexpected stroke of good luck.

Should've known that was to good to be true the instant I stopped thinking it.

I opened my eyes to a blurry world. It took it some time for things to come into focus. By the time they did, I realized I was being held in someone's arms.

I had... gotten smaller? What?

How was my entire body fitting into someone's arm? I was small, yes, but not that ridiculously small. I looked around and recognized none of the people around me. Where was my family? My friends?

Who were these people?!

I looked at a female's face far too close to mine. I attempted to say 'Personal space, lady. Back off'. But I just got some sort of nonsense noise in response. What was wrong with me?! I tried to face-palm in frustration. But my arms were trapped by a blanket. Why would I be suddenly small and in... a blanket...

I realized we were in a strange maternity ward from the looks of my surroundings.

Realization came to me in icy horror.

I had been, quite literally, reborn.

Ok. Ok. Had to think. What language where they speaking? It sounded... vaguely familiar... Was that Japanese? It must be. My Japanese vocabulary was exceedingly slim, but I recognized a word or two from my excessive intake of subbed anime.

So... I was Japanese now? I could live with that, even if the language was going to be a pain in the ass to learn.

I observed my new 'family'. I noted that they were as average looking as people came with their collective brown hair and eyes. Then more horror came. There were several people wearing headbands. Or as I knew them to be called... hitai-ate. I knew of only one universe to have these.

Naruto.

Reborn into freaking _Naruto_.

Most fans would've been excited.

I wasn't. I was **_terrified_**. I even started to cry, my baby wails resounding in the room as my new mother attempted to soothe me.

Want to know why? From the symbol on those headbands, I was nowhere near the relative safety of Konoha.

No. Those four squiggled lines indicated a much harsher village.

Kirigakure. The Village Hidden in the Mist.

A man approached the woman holding me to get a better look at me and to offer what I assumed was comfort to his wife and to myself. Neither of them looked familiar. Obviously not main characters from Mist. But the man was wearing a hitai-ate. Meaning what I guessed the person who was my new 'father' was a ninja.

That also meant I would most likely be raised into being a ninja too. In MIST.

Of all places why, dear God-Kami-Jashin-Pein _why_ Mist?!

Calm. Calm. This may be after or before the Bloody Mist years. I certainly didn't hear anyone mentioning Yagura.

Still. I needed to find out exactly where in the Naruto time-line I was.

Which, would be **_exceedingly_** difficult in Kiri.

I could be years before Yagura's reign.

Or years after the Fourth Shinobi War.

Or anywhere in between.

I didn't even know my new name.

I was so screwed.

* * *

_And so it begins... _

_I will probably update with a real chapter soon. _

_Reviews are loved! I offer virtual dango as bribes!_


	2. Average meets Epic

_Many thanks to the people who reviewed, followed, and favorited! As promised have some virtual dango in the form of the first actual chapter ^^ _

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

I will admit, after my initial panic attack, the fist few years of my life were quiet.

And by quiet I mean absolutely positively mind-numbingly **BORING**.

You try being an adult in an infant's body and see how entertaining it is sometime.

I did learn a few things in these years, so they weren't an entire waste... I guess.

Toki Sudachi.

That was my name now. Not the best in in the world, but I couldn't really complain much. I had done enough mental swearing at whatever deities were listening earlier anyways.

I could also finally say I understood Japanese now. One tends to learn a language when that's all everyone's speaking around you for years.

I was also positive the Sudachi were a tiny clan of some sort. Everyone looked too much alike for them not to be.

I mentally dubbed them the Clan of Averageness.

Brown hair, eyes, fair skin, average heights, all of which had been passed down to myself. Yep, these people were not the type you'd suspect of being ninja... or much of anything really. If you even noticed them at all. Which, I found out, is what the Sudachi use to their advantage. They had mastered the ninja art of getting in and out of somewhere unnoticed. But where most ninja had to sneak to achieve these results, the Sudachi could just stroll right in and no one would bat an eye.

The Sudachi harbored a kekkei genkai. At first, I was excited. Sure, Mist wasn't exactly known for being very pleasant to kekkei genkai holders, but still! I had one! Things were looking up!

...Then my luck had to go and bite me in the ass again.

Kekkei genkai were supposed to be kick-ass abilities of epic proportion, right?

Not mine.

Nope, over the years the Sudachi had perfected their chakra control to be flawless. This evolved into the ability to complete hide their chakra to the point not even the best sensor-nin could feel them, even if that sensor-nin was touching them. Technically this made them impossible to track, so long as a dog-nin or someone like that wasn't present. They could even use this to feign death, so long as no one bothered checking their pulse. Some mastered it to the point they could flawlessly hide another person's chakra.

There was an official story behind how this came to be. But I didn't pay much attention to it.

My version was that their chakra control and average looks had somehow fused together to create the ultimate letdown.

For lack of originality I dubbed this the Kekkei Genkai of Averageness.

This was also my reasoning for why the Sudachi weren't hunted: Why hunt something like this when you can go after something epic, like the Sharingan?

Exactly. No one was going to bother.

So, needless to say, I was less than impressed with my new life. I was convinced I was doomed to have the most benign existence a kunoichi could possibly have. I had resigned myself to my fate when I was physically one and a half.

Then, a little after I hit five, things changed.

Five was the age I got to enter Kiri's ninja academy. I would have this on top of the training my parents had been giving me since I was around two or three.

My mindset: _Oh joy. More work. Hope it won't be all ruined by dying. Again._

Despite my five years in Kiri, no one had mentioned Yagura as of yet.

I was still hesitant to believe I was entirely safe from the Bloody Mist graduation exam. My luck so far had been less than stellar.

Whatever god controlled my luck then decided to either throw me a bone... or they were laughing their ass off at me. I wasn't entirely sure which.

Because, when I entered my classroom... I saw blue. Blue hair. Blue skin. Familiar pointy teeth in a feral challenging grin. I was in the Academy with the Monster of the Hidden Mist himself. Kisame Hoshigaki.

* * *

I'll admit it, I froze.

Two sides of me warred for dominance.

One was the fangirl side. The side that was screaming something along the lines of 'You're staring at an adorable chibi-shark! Go glomp him!'

The other was the logical side saying 'I am dead meat. I have a snowball's chance in hell of living through graduation'.

My mind started to whirl.

I was almost positive Kisame was in and out of the academy way before Yagura's reign. Which meant... no Bloody Mist style graduation so far as I knew.

I would live to see genin!

… Maybe.

This also meant I was several years before canon.

I... had a chance to change things?

No... I was in Mist. There wasn't much that occurred in Mist...

Then again, I had just spent the past few seconds staring at one of the deadly members of Akatsuki...

I wonder...

Could I possibly... prevent him becoming Akatsuki?

Could I save one of my personal favorite characters?

I needed to plan. Something I was never good at.

First thing's first. Focus on the far too cute for his own good chibi-shark. What did I know of why he joined Akatsuki? To see a world of truth. Kisame was tired of being lied to. He hated lairs. I also knew he was loyal to those he trusted.

So, where did that leave me?

Be honest with him? I highly doubted saying 'Hi I'm Toki, but that's not my original name and I come from an alternate universe. I also know your future, which I would like to change' would go over well.

But... I could be honest otherwise.

I would be honest with him by simply being me.

I could only hope that was enough.

I had been staring at poor Kisame for several moments now. He was staring back at me, looking none too friendly. Probably expecting some sort of comment. "What are you looking at?" he snapped, confirming my suspicion. He wanted a comment? I'd give him one.

A grin crossed my face as I walked over to him. The chairs surrounding the shark-nin were empty. Petty kids avoiding someone just because they were different. I flopped into the seat next to him, still answering his glare with a smile. "You" I finally spoke. "I was looking at you. Your hair is epic. Can I play with it? It looks soft".

This was obviously not was Kisame had been expecting. He was still staring at me but in shock now. His tiny sharp teeth made the expression that much more adorable. Dang shark. He needed to tone down the cuteness

I gave him puppy-eyes "Please?" I think the puppy eyes did the trick because he nodded mutely. Sweet! I got to play with Kisame Hoshigaki's hair!

I failed to stop the inner fangirl squeal and started playing with his hair.

It was ridiculously soft. Made me jealous.

"I'm Toki Sudachi. Just call me Toki" I introduced myself as I wondered how the hell a guy had such soft hair. Kisame laid his head down on the desk as if he was bored. I think he was trying to cover up the fact he was actually enjoying someone playing with his hair. Still as proud as ever, and he didn't even have Samehada yet.

"Kisame Hoshigaki" he grumbled, as if irritated at me paying him any attention, but not stopping me from continuing to play with his hair. "You can just call me Kisame".

"Nice to meet you" I chirped, still in fangirl heaven. I made a mental note to play with his hair as often as possible.

A moment or two of silence passed, with only the murmur of other classmates filing in to wait on the day to start to break it. I stopped messing with his hair, which despite all my attention still remained in its usual shark-fin style.

Drat. I was hoping to have some sort of impact on it.

"...You're not scared of me? You... don't think I'm... weird?" he was watching me with far too intelligent eyes. He'd smell it if I lied to him. And he'd write me off faster than I could blink. I had not thought he'd test me this early. Kisame the child must already harbor a hatred for liars.

"I was scared for a moment" I answered. No need to tell him that was because of the Bloody Mist years. "But I got over it. I'm not scared of you now. And of course you're not weird. You are off the official scale of epicness".

Not to mention he'd grow up into a sexy beast. Almost literally too.

"... epicness?" he was still staring at me in suspicion, though I hadn't lied to him. Must be my strange choice in vocabulary.

"Awesomeness. But better than awesome".

"Hn".

"Don't go sounding like the Weasel" I chided before thinking. "We get enough monosyllabic answers out of him"

"Weasels are monosyllabic?" he blinked.

Oops.

I really needed to watch what I said.

"A nickname for someone I know of. I don't know him personally. But he answers questions and statements with 'Hn' or 'Aa' a lot" still honest. Just leaving out the fact Itachi would be his suicidal pacifist partner in the future if I didn't change anything.

"... Alright..." he turned his attention to the instructor who had walked in.

I only half payed attention, my mind back into plotting mode.

I had to do something about Itachi too... The weasel certainly didn't deserve his fate.

Heck... if I worked fast enough... and was smart enough... I could snag many members of the Akatsuki before they joined...

I even got to start with the one Akatsuki member I would've never been able to turn should he take that route.

I was starting to love Mist.

Did I just say that out loud?! Something must be horribly wrong with me!

Ugh. All this thinking was giving me a headache.

For now, I would focus on the adorable chibi-shark in the seat next to me. If I could just save him...

Even if I only saved him...

That'd be enough for me.

* * *

So, I officially decided to commence Operation: Befriend the Shark. It wasn't even something I had to force myself to do. I'd always thought Kisame was a likable character.

When he wasn't tearing people into shreds with a giant chakra-eating sword...

That I reminded myself he didn't have at this point in time.

I spent the rest of the classes before lunch trying to figure out what to change in Kisame's past... future? GAH.

I realized there was only one event out of the three I knew of I could change. He still needed to kill the cipher devision. It's what led him to discover the current wielder of Samehada was selling secrets. That jerk who's name I could not remember as I'd never paid much attention to him.

He also needed to kill said jerk to acquire Samehada. I would not let my favorite shark go without his signature weapon.

But the encounter with Obito posing as Madara who then convinced Kisame to join Akatsuki. That _needed_ to change.

Unfortunately it also happened directly after he got Samehada. An event I couldn't change.

WHY wasn't I a better planner?!

Where was the Weasel when you needed his brains?! Oh, right. Not born yet.

I made myself focus on the here and now. I had a few years before Samehada/Obito combo had to be dealt with.

For now, I'd just enjoy my lunch with the chibi-shark. It was far too early in our acquaintanceship to be calling him a friend. But he seemed to tolerate me. Barely.

I needed to win him over.

"Wanna train together sometime?" I figured this request wouldn't be too pushy. Especially not after asking to play with his hair. That and if Kisame and I became at least halfway as deadly together as he and Itachi were they'd have to put us on the same genin team.

Giving me more time with the outrageous cuteness that is a chibi-Kisame

…and more time to convince him not to trust masked men. I almost had to remind myself of that.

I got another suspicious stare. "...Okay" he was hesitant, but I guess he decided he didn't have anything to lose.

I couldn't help my mental sigh.

Why do adorable sharks have to be so untrusting?

* * *

_I do have the most adorable mental image of Kisame as a child. I just hope I do his character justice. I can't imagine him being the instantly friendly type, even at this point in time. Though he is still laid-back enough to let strange girls play with his hair._

_So, good, bad? Hate it? Love it? Tell me please!_

_Reviews get more chibi-Kisame cuteness!_


	3. Two Words You Don't Say to Sharks

_So many reviews! I feel loved ;~; As a reward: More chibi goodness!_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

**Operation: Befriend the Shark**

**Day 2**

**Class**

"Can I play with your hair again?" I took my seat next to Kisame. I got the familiar glare.

"Are you goin' to do this everyday?" his expression was close to a snarl, teeth flashing in what I assumed was supposed to be a scary gesture. I took this as a sign he didn't entirely trust me on not being scared of him.

"... Maybe" I just grinned, thinking him far too cute to be scary.

"... Fine" he flopped his head on his desk again in that same bored position from yesterday. Success!

"How old are you?" I asked, happily taking my chance to play with his hair.

"Six" he grumbled. A beat of silence. "...You?"

"Five".

"So you're a brat" he grinned.

"Hey! You're only a year older!" was my oh so clever retort. Another pause.

"... I can't figure out what you want. You must want something" he was really too smart for his age. "Nobody talks to me unless they want something". Or he was just jaded. Possibly both.

"I want to be your friend and play with your soft hair on a daily basis. I also want to train with you so I can become a kick-ass kunoichi" honesty was the best policy with someone who would betray his Village for being liars.

"You're being honest, aren't you?" I tilted my head at him in confusion. Of course I was. Mostly. ""I'd smell it if you were lying". So I was right! Sharks were worse than dogs when it came to smell. And now I knew that he knew I was being _mostly_ honest with him. "I don't trust you though".

Damn it. So close! Curse having to leave out certain details.

"But... I'll give you a chance. Brat"

YES! Commence inner fangirl squealing!

"Can we at least come up with a better nickname? Or I'll start calling you Danna" I acted as calmly as I possibly could. Being called brat reminded me too much of the Artist duo's relationship. Thus my warning, though this current Kisame wouldn't understand it. Thankfully he made a face, obviously not liking the thought.

"Agreed. Better nicknames are in order" his feral grin was back... but I'd like to think it was slightly, _slightly _more friendly.

**Training**

"Aren't you a clan kid?"

"Yep".

"Then why am I throughly kicking your ass?" Me training against the Tailless Tailed Beast was akin to a itsy bitsy gnat attempting to fight a starving tiger. Or rather, a starving shark. A shark that was standing and leaning over me with his usual feral grin on his face.

"Because you are far too epic for me, great sensei" I huffed, staring at the sky, managing to somehow ignore the adorable chibi-shark, from my position in the dirt. I'd have bruises from this, I just knew it.

"You've a long way to go if you want to be... how you put it? Oh yes, a kick-ass kunoichi" he pointed out, as if this wasn't obvious.

"I know".

"Your taijutsu isn't _that _bad". I gave him a flat look. "What? You're not as bad as some of the others I've watched". He tapped his chin in a thoughtful gesture. Stupid Shark! Stop being adorable when you're critiquing me! "I'm convinced you don't know any ninjutsu since you haven't been using any".

"Nope. And you don't have any room to talk! You only know the water clone! And you can't even hold it that long!"

"It's better than nothing".

"Curse your logic".

"I don't think you have the patience for genjutsu" he continued.

"Bite me" wrong choice of wording. He was suddenly kneeling on the ground showing me his sharp teeth in the closest thing to a scary sadistic smile a six-year old could manage. Which was somehow surprisingly close and almost not cute at all.

"You sure about that?" he snapped his teeth at me "I do have very sharp teeth".

"Ehehehe..." I couldn't help the nervous laugh. This was just a reminder of who exactly I was talking to. "Nope! I'm good. Now back off or I'll give you cooties". He rolled his eyes at me.

"Cooties? Is that the best threat you can do?" Kisame did back off though, moving to stand again. To my surprise, he offered me his hand to help me up. "We've got _a lot_ of work to do if you're going to survive the Bloody Mist, Koneko".

"Kitten? Really?" I accepted the hand and stood up to dust myself off.

"You're a kitten compared to me" says the big bad shark, feral grin in place. Well, not exactly big right now, but the point remains. "Besides, you look like a hissing kitten when you're angry".

"Still. Kitten?" I decided to ignore the comment about my angry appearance.

"It's either that or Sushi"

"I'm not fish!"

"Koneko it is then" he chuckled. "Come then, fuzzball. Time for another round".

I severely regret this decision.

* * *

**Day 5**

**Class**

"You're still not tired of playing with my hair?"

"Oh shush. You know you like it"

"Hmph" he put his head on the desk, looking irritated.

"And stop looking so grumpy. You and I both know you're only doing that to maintain your scary image". I really wish it wouldn't hurt his masculinity to ask what he did that made his hair this ridiculously soft.

"So you _do _think I'm scary".

"Nope! But they do" a motion to our classmates who were staring at me as if I was attempting to pet a rabid dog.

"That's true".

**Training**

"Kenjutsu this time" Kisame tossed me a pole. I gave him a stare. I was facing a future member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.

In Kenjutsu, the use of swords.

FML

"Let's see what you got, Koneko" he smirked and lunged with his own pole.

* * *

**Day 7**

**Class**

Kisame took one look at me, sighed, and put his head on the desk. Looks like I had a trained shark. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to bite your hand when you go to play with my hair". Or maybe not.

"You wouldn't" I pouted at him as I messed with his hair.

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Because I trust you not to". I was relying heavily on the fact trust and loyalty were two major facets of Kisame's character.

"Tch" he flashed me a half-hearted glare. There was a long moment of silence. "Looks like you got me figured out then, kitty-cat". And he left it at that.

I won't deny it. I did a mental happy dance.

**Training**

"So I finally learned my chakra nature" I told him, back in the familiar position of being in the dirt.

"Oh?" Kisame was once again standing over me. This position was becoming far to familiar for my liking. Training usually had me in this position more times than I could count.

"Lightning" I informed him.

"That's rare for here" Kisame seemed mildly impressed. "I can't really help you with that though" he mused ."Since I'm a water nature".

"I know" I grinned at him. "But we'd make a deadly combination. Water and lightning? I can't imagine most people would enjoy a combo attack involving those".

Kisame was eying me speculatively now. Then he gave a feral grin, this one a challenge. I was learning to speak the language that was Kisame grins. "You get good enough, I'll consider it. Heck, I'll even admit to you being okay at kenjutsu and better at taijutsu then you were. Better at that then that failure of a genjutsu you tried earlier anyway. Let's see how ninjutsu goes".

Well... that's a start... I guess...

* * *

**Day 12**

**Class**

"Your dang hair petting puts me to sleep".

"Is that your excuse for me making a better grade on this test than you?"

"Yes" he scowled. "And since I'm such a nice person, I'll let you continue to play with my hair and train with you, so long as you help me study".

"Deal"

**Training**

"Stupid stick gave me a splinter" I pouted

"It's your own fault for attempting to make it into a lightning-blade. Poor stick shattered" stupid shark being adorable when he's laughing at me.

"Poor stick my ass! Where's the sympathy?"

"Gone and replaced with amusement when you revealed that getting a splinter makes you looks like a depressed kitten, Koneko".

"Bite me, jerk".

He flashes his sharp teeth, approaching me. "Didn't you learn your lesson the last time? Be careful what you ask for".

"Eek! I didn't mean it!"

"Thought so".

* * *

**Day 18**

**Class**

"You know, you'd think they'd get used to the fact I play with your hair on a daily basis and stop staring. It's not that interesting".

"Eh. They're just a bunch of nitwits anyways" Kisame gave the class one of his infamous feral smiles and they all sunk low in their seats, trying their best to escape.

"I still don't see why they find you so terrifying".

"That's just cause I'm half-convinced you're insane"

"You know you love me".

"Tolerate you is more like it".

"Aww! I love you too, Kisame"

He just gave me his best deadpan stare.

**Training**

I was on the ground, coughing, wheezing, soaking wet and covered in mud from the soaked ground.

"You alright, Toki?" Kisame patted my back looking worried, and at least attempting to help. "I... didn't expect my attempt at the Water Prison to go so badly..."

"I..." I paused to cough more. After a moment I could breathe and talk normally again. "I'm alright. But I am so learning medical jutsu".

"Let's hope it's better then your genjutsu".

"Bite-" I began and he smirked, showing his teeth. "... You have no idea how much I hate you sometimes".

"But you said you loved me, Koneko" he grinned "You can't have it both ways". The insufferably adorable shark patted my hair.

"Screw you".

"Pervert kitty".

"I- I-! GAH!"

"Shark: 7, Kitten: 0".

* * *

**Day 21**

"Wanna come over to my place after class? I'm sure Okaa-san will feed you all sorts of seafood. She's a seafood addict like us" my hand didn't stop from its usual routine of playing with Kisame's hair before class as I asked.

"What about training?" Kisame opened an eye to look up at me from his desk.

"Let's take today off. I still have the bruises from our last kenjutsu session the other day".

"That's because you still don't know how to block"

"Stop avoiding my question, Kisame".

His eye flicked to the desk in a rare moment of uncertainty. "What if... she doesn't like me?" Translation: What if she's not like you and decides that I'm a monster? I had known Kisame long enough to see he got similar treatment here in Mist to what Konoha gave Naruto in the early years. Kisame decided to take the route of pretending not to care. Heck, he even encouraged the rumors that he was some sort of monster with how he treated others sometimes. Thankfully, this seemed reserved for people he didn't trust. Or who he simply thought were idiots. I had finally managed to gain his cautious trust, and he thought me insane not stupid. So, I was exempt from this.

"Okaa-san will love you. She likes cute things, just like me. And you sir are so adorable it should be illegal" I assured him.

"Oi! I am a shark! I'm supposed to be terrifying! Not adorable!" he protested

"Keep telling yourself that, Kisame. So... you coming over?"

He snarled, gritting his sharp teeth. Then he sighed. "Alright" he cast me a glance. "But don't blame me when your mom freaks out at your choice in friends, Koneko".

Did... he just call me his friend?

Cue me grinning stupidly and doing my best not to break out into a victory dance as the instructor walked in.

**Sudachi Household**

"Aren't you just adorable!" my mother outright glomped Kisame on seeing him, hugging him tightly enough to squish him.

"T-toki... h-help... c-can't... b-breathe..." Kisame looked at me in desperation as he started turning a deeper blue from lack of air.

"Okaa-san, please don't kill my friend" I snickered.

"Oh my! I'm sorry!" she released Kisame who promptly gasped for air.

"Okaa-san, this is Kisame Hoshigaki" since the shark was still trying to regain air, I decided to introduce him.

"Nice to meet you Kisame-chan!" Mom chirped. I hadn't know Kisame could even turn such interesting colors. He had now turned a light sky-blue. His version of paling at the use of the honorific chan with is name I guessed.

"Y-you too... Sudachi-san" he was giving my mother a look that said he was almost scared of her.

"Now, now. Akira is just fine" Mom assured him.

"Er... yes Akira-san". Yep. The infamous shark-nin was terrified of my mother. He gave me a look that clearly said 'I see where you get your insanity'. I just grinned back at him.

Then we noticed my mother was watching us with Cheshire smile and a look in her eyes that had both myself and Kisame anime sweat-dropping.

"W-what is it, Okaa-san?" I almost didn't want to know.

"Oh no reason~" she just continued to grin. Watching us with a speculative look. "I think I'll go finish dinner! Hope you like fish, Kisame-chan!" Then she practically bounces away with terrifying happiness.

Now we were both staring in the direction Mom had disappeared to in something akin to horror.

"Why do I get the feeling she's planning something devious?" the shark-nin managed once he'd recovered enough to speak.

"Because she probably is" I sighed. "Let's go face our doom together then"

"Somehow I feel like that's only going to make things worse" Kisame grumbled but walked with me towards the kitchen anyways.

**Interlude – Akira's POV**

She really couldn't help it. The boy was just too adorable. Like all baby predators he was more fluff than fang right now and so she hadn't been able to resist the urge to glomp him earlier. Then seeing how her normally antisocial daughter smiled around him had risen the shark-boy in her esteem.

It was seeing them share a look of silent communication that had settled things in her mind.

They made such a cute couple. It was too bad they were so young though.

Oh well. She was a patient woman. She could wait a few measly years for blue haired grandchildren. For now, she'd just go about helping them be friends... and nudge them into seeing each other romantically in a few years. Yes, that would work nicely.

* * *

_And that's it for now. Review to save chibi-sharks from plotting mothers!_

_Review replies!_

_Kyprioth - As per request, more chibi Kisame :3_

_Shadow __– __Don't worry, you'll be seeing chibi-Zabuza. Maybe not this instant. But soon... This SI/OC has both wonderful and horrible luck and that's all I'm saying... hehehe... -evil smile-_

_December – Thank you for telling me! I don't want Kisame entirely in character right now,__since people change over time. But could you also tell me what I'm doing wrong? That way I can fix things for when he becomes an adult ^^; Again, many thanks!_

_I saw a favorite author of mine Darkpetal16 offering teasers at the end of her chapters, so I decided to offer my own..._

_**Next time – **__"__Did... you just say Yagura was Mizukage?"_


	4. A Love-Hate Relationship With Life

_Dear gosh, I never though my story would get this much attention. Thank you all very much! Here's another chapter for you! Happy Holidays to everybody!_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto.

No Beta

* * *

Days passed. Kisame and I fallen into a routine of class and training together. As our techniques got stronger, we had to begin rotating training grounds so we didn't cause too much damage.

Since the Shark had finally decided to work on tag-team jutsu and attacks we were causing... devastation.

Our first attempts at combining water and lightning ended in explosions of water and resulted in both of us having our hair pointing in all directions from the static.

Trying to fight alongside each other had us running into each other and causing as many if not more bruises than when we sparred.

My mother came across the end results of a training session as she was wondering where I'd been all day.

She laughed, yes _laughed_ at us.

Then, after physically dragging both of us back to my home and ordering us to get clean, she had this smile on her face that gave Kisame and I the creeps.

"It's good that you're trying to work together Toki-chan, Kisame-chan. But I think you need some foundation work if you ever want to cause more damage to an opponent than you do to each other". My mother showed us to the padded indoor training room where my parents had begun teaching me.

She produced two blindfolds.

Where she got these, I had no idea.

"You two will be using taijutsu against me. Wearing these" she informed us in a tone that said we shouldn't argue with her if we valued our lives.

Now, I knew Mom was a kunoichi, a jounin to be exact.

She wanted us, who couldn't even coordinate taijutsu against _training dummies_ when we had our sight to attempt fighting a _jounin_?! _**BLIND?!**_

"Your mother is terrifying" Kisame eyed the blindfolds like they were poisonous.

"I guess you were right about the insanity, Kisame" I mumbled back.

"Stop complaining you two" Mom tied the blindfolds around our heads, leaving us in darkness.

Needless to say, this first session ended badly. _Very_ badly.

More days passed.

I hate to say it... but Mom's plan to improve our coordination was working.

Kisame and I slowly acquired the ability to know where the other was in the training room. After this came the ability to predict the other's moves. We could also recognize who my mother was targeting and what attack she was using against them.

Once our coordination was up to what Mom considered acceptable she kicked us out to return to our previous training grounds.

Fighting alongside Kisame in the much wider area of the training grounds and being able to see while doing so was infinitely easier.

Damn that woman was smart.

It was possibly thanks to the fact we now knew the feel of the other's chakra so well that our combination jutsu attacks stopped backfiring. Now the jutsu wreaked havoc on the things it was aimed at instead of on us.

One of our instructors caught us training together not long after this. This resulted in more instructors coming to watch us from a distance with speculative looks. I thought this was downright creepy, despite thinking this would lead to a genin team like I wanted. Kisame was simply smug that they thought us worth watching.

* * *

It was coming near to the end of the year, and no chaos had occurred.

Then came the day Kisame and I were relaxing after a particularly brutal training session. I was exhausted. The Shark, being who he was, was merely winded. "Did ya hear the news?" he asked tilting his head in curiosity.

"What news?"

"The Sandaime Mizukage is stepping down. We'll be on the Yondaime Mizukage the beginning of next year" Kisame informed me, seeming bored but figuring I should know this information. "Surprised your parents haven't mentioned it".

"Oh?" in my state of exhaustion, the title of Yondaime Mizukage didn't instantly register. "Who is it?"

"Some guy named Yagura".

Please tell me I did not just hear what I think I did. "Did... you just say Yagura was Mizukage?"

"Weren't you listening the first time, Koneko?" he grouched.

I had been wrong. So very wrong.

"They say he wants to change the graduation exams somehow. They're changing this years exams to what he wants despite him not being officially Kage until the beginning of next year" Kisame's eyes flicked over to me. "... Koneko? You okay? You look pale". He put his hand on my head to check for a fever.

I was doomed. I would never live in a fight for survival against Kisame. And even if I somehow managed to avoid fighting Kisame...

I would have to kill my classmates to survive.

"Toki?" Kisame was giving me a worried look.

"I... have a really bad feeling about the exams" this was as close to the truth I could tell the Shark.

"You're just being paranoid" he shook his head at me "I'm sure it's minor details".

"Can... we go watch the exams this year? To see what the changes are?" I did _not_ want to see the bloodbath. But the only way to discuss how to avoid this between the two of us without me revealing things Kisame wasn't ready to know, was for the shark-nin to see the changes himself.

He gave an exasperated sigh. "The things I do for you, Koneko. Fine, we'll go watch the boring exams. That way you can see that there's nothing to worry over".

"Thanks, Kisame"

"You're lucky I like you, Koneko".

* * *

Sometime later it was the end of the year... and the exams were in a few hours. I was going to be sick. "You sure you should be going?" Kisame tilted his head at me "You look like you're about to hurl".

"I have to go. Make sure I'm wrong" even though I knew I wasn't.

"Alright. But if you throw up on me, I will kick your ass".

"Noted".

We took or seats in an area like place. This was the Mist version of the Konoha stadium. "I guess the physical part of the exams is first this year. It used to be written and physical. But the information said for spectators to go here" Kisame flopped into a chair. I shakily sat next to him. He looked at me, seeming torn. I wished I knew what was going through the Shark's mind right now.

**Interlude – Kisame POV**

The things he did for her. His strange and mentally unstable Koneko. He'd always thought the exams were some of the most boring things ever. Even the fights were never that entertaining. But, here he was, sitting with her because Koneko was panicked over the changes.

He chalked all this up to her being the only true friend he had. He might not admit it aloud, yet. But she had his loyalty.

It was the panic that had made him agree to watch them with her. He'd never seen the fuzzball this scared. The day they'd first met had been closer to shock rather than true fear. And her mother merely caused her embarrassment and suspicion as to what the older woman was planning. But now?

Now his normally brash and sarcastic Koneko reeked of terror.

It made him want to maim something.

His inner shark was most displeased at her distress too, wanting to kill whatever it was that caused her to feel such sickening terror.

She had approached him of all people, seeking friendship despite him snapping at her.

She trained with him where most people avoided him.

Of course both he and his inner shark would want her distress gone. If that meant sitting through this boredom so be it.

She physically shook as she sat next to him, looking more ill with every passing second.

He liked his little Koneko. But he _really_ didn't want her throwing up on him.

But she looked so miserable. She needed comfort. She needed her friend. She needed him.

He just prayed to any listening gods that she didn't get sick on him as he moved to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close, offering what comfort he could.

**Normal POV**

I blinked. Kisame was not a touchy-feely person. Sure, he allowed me to mess with his hair. But despite my best attempts to hug him, he'd always been stiff as a board whenever I tried. In fact, the most contact I got from him was when we were sparring. So the Shark pulling me close to him of his own free will was what I considered a sure sign of the apocalypse.

"Don't you say a word" he snarled at me. I nodded mutely. I wasn't about to lose the much needed comfort by speaking.

The exams started.

I couldn't watch.

The screams... they would haunt me. I bet being trapped in Itachi's Tsukuyomi was better than this.

I felt Kisame stiffen next to me as he watched the horrible display. His hand on me tightened.

"...Last two standing" the shark informed me after what seemed to be an eternity, voice emotionless.

A few moments later, silence reigned.

"Neither survived" Kisame led me out of the stadium doing his best to avoid showing me the now blood soaked arena, teeth bared in aggressive way.

An entire class. Gone. Just like that.

We slowly walked back to my home in relative silence.

He only broke it after we reached the relative safety inside my house.

Word had spread fast about the exam changes. My mother shooed everyone away from where we now sat, sensing that more people would only irritate Kisame further. Angry sharks were best avoided.

"That... it won't happen" he growled.

"We're in the same class..." I pointed out while staring fixedly at the floor.

"I'll move up a class. I want a challenge when I fight. No one in this current class would even be fun to torment" his teeth were bared, daring me to challenge him.

I smiled weakly at him. Then it fell. "Even without you..."

"We're still going to train after class" another statement that dared me to argue. "You, Koneko, are going to grow some claws".

In other words, Kisame was going to do his damnedest to help me pass my graduation. He'd never forgive me if I failed. I just nodded at him.

"Come on, let's go get some dango" he then proceeded to drag me off, intending to cure me using my addiction to sweet things.

I don't know what'd I do without this Shark.

* * *

After dango and Kisame hovering about me for a few hours, I was feeling somewhat human again. "...Thank you, Kisame. I feel... better" my smile wasn't as forced anymore. "I'm still not looking forward to graduation but-"

"Not looking forward to killing? Weakling". This new voice got a snarl in response from Kisame while I looked up to gape at the speaker. "This Village is called the Bloody Mist for a reason" he continued.

I stared. Before me was what about to be the about three-year old version of Zabuza, bandages over his face even now.

"Shut it, twerp" Kisame bared his sharp teeth.

"I have teeth like that too. You don't scare me, fishy" it was obvious that under the bandages Zabuza was smirking.

I felt like I was no more threatening than a dust bunny between the two of them.

"Another year" Zabuza stared at me.

"...Excuse me?" I was confused.

"You have one more year of safety. The year after that? I plan on ridding our Village of weaklings like you" he clarified, looking at me as if I was stupid for not knowing this.

So not only did I have to survive graduation, but I had to survive Zabuza's slaughter as well?!

I was beginning to suspect the god in charge of my luck was Jashin with this much torture.

"Heh...I'd like to see you try" Kisame grinned in amusement now "Toki would kick your ass, twerp. And even if she doesn't..." his grin went feral and bloodthirsty "I'd be happy to oblige".

"We'll see" Zabuza walked away.

"I'm going to die" I stated simply. It was best I made peace with a short life while in the Naruto universe. Zabuza or the exams would slaughter me.

"Not while I'm around, Koneko. We'll sharpen those claws of yours and you'll show them all not to underestimate you just because you're a fuzzball" Kisame assured.

"Fuzzball kittens aren't exactly things to be scared of" I sighed.

"No. But little kittens can grow up into large cats" he countered.

* * *

**Omake – Snow in Mist**

"I'd never thought it snow here" I looked up at the sky as the white flakes fell.

"This is snow? Never seen it before" Kisame watched the sky with me.

"It's usually too warm here... wait. You've never seen snow?!" I stared at him mouth agape.

"Shut it. I'm older than you, so I know for a fact you've never seen snow either!" he glared at me.

"Let's go play then" I snagged his hand and tugged, attempting to drag him along.

"Play?" he blinked.

"You know, have fun. What normal children do. Now, come on!" I tugged and this time Kisame complied and allowed himself to be dragged along. He didn't even attempt to snatch his hand back.

I taught the shark-nin how to have a snowball fight. He won, shamelessly using water-jutsu to make snowballs faster than I could.

Next was the obligatory snowman. It was tiny, as there wasn't that much snow, but still. Kisame wasn't as interested in this one, but he did have an easy-going grin on his face that told me he didn't hate it either.

Much later, we were both sneezing and Mom made us soup.

"The bad side to snow" I sniffled, trying to control my runny nose.

"Tch. As if you'd know" Kisame sniffed beside me as he ate his soup.

"Soooo...?" I grinned at him.

"So, what?" he glared "I'm attempting to eat my soup here, Koneko".

"Did ya have fun?" I asked, still grinning like a fool.

"...Maybe".

"Maybe?!"

"Ugh. Fine. Since I know you won't let it go. Yes. I did" he grumbled into his soup, trying to act irritated. But that smile on his face said otherwise.

"Huh".

"What?"

"You're actually smiling. It's not a smirk or a grin. It's an actual smile".

"Got a problem with that?" he bared his teeth at me, smile vanishing.

"Nope. You should smile more. It suits you" I resumed eating my soup.

"... Oh" he went back to his own soup, though I could've sworn his cheeks had turned a light purple. Must be my imagination.

* * *

_This chapter was a bit more serious, out of necessity. Thus, the Omake to lighten the mood a little._

_Like any __good ninja, Akira aka Okaa-san waits to spring her trap. She starts her plans next chapter!_

_Review to see the devious kunoichi in action!_

_**Next time**__ – "__Your mother is planning something, I just know it"_

**_Review Replies!_**

_Guest – Thank you!_

_Countess – I do hope to keep things interesting_

_Shadow – I have a plan. Kisame won't escape the exams... but Toki? Maaaaybe. Maaaaybe not. You'll have to wait and see. :)_

_Arcami – Thank you ^^ Mangetsu may make a cameo, but I sadly don't know his character very well. I don't know if I would do him justice. :(_

_Kyprioth – Akira isn't going anywhere. She's there. Lurking. Waiting to pounce. Toki and Kisame should be afraid. Very afraid. I always thought meddling parents were a great source of laughs too. Thus, why Akira is going to lurking in the next several chapters. -evil smile-__I have a plot! I swear! It'll become more obvious as the two grow up. Nothing like plot to hold fluff together :3_

_Neko – Thank you :D _

_Ceres – Okaa-san will remain to torment the chibis for some time ) And while I know fish are friends not food, sadly Kisame is not part of the rehab group. Perhaps we should introduce him to Bruce?_

_Yona – Agreed. Mental image of chibi Kisame is so adorable. I wish I could draw him. He'll gradually turn into the badass we know and love I promise. And thank you! Hope I can continue to entertain!_

_Creepy – Hope this feeds your cuteness addiction :P_

_December – Thank you so much! :3 _


	5. Meddlesome Mothers

_I cannot thank you all enough for the attention this story has gotten! So, as an expression of my thanks to you: another chapter!_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

Kisame had successfully shown off enough skill to be moved up a class at the beginning of the same year Yagura officially took his position as Yondaime Mizukage. He would graduate a year before I did. Provided that he survived the exams. I really hoped I hadn't screwed over his survival with my being present in this timeline.

I missed being able to mess with his hair, but I considered not having to fight against him in the exams well worth it.

To make up for the fact we were no longer in the same class our training session were longer. Kisame also came over more often.

I also got my first invitation to his place.

"So this is what your home looks like" I observed the apartment that Kisame called his home. It was a small place, painted mostly in blues, decorated sparsely mostly with things from the sea and a few blades here and there.

It was also meticulously clean. I suspected this was because the smell would otherwise drive him nuts.

"Yeah... this is it" despite knowing me for some time now, Kisame did not look entirely comfortable having me in his space. Maybe some territorial shark thing?

"I like it! It suits you" I absently wondered what had happened to his parents. However, that was not a question I thought the Shark would answer.

"...Thanks" he prowled over to his kitchen "You want something?"

"Sure! What'cha got?"

_Later at the Sudachi house_

"So... he invited you over?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Were his parents nice?"

"Okaa-san... he doesn't have any"

"That poor boy..." my mother frowned.

"He seemed okay with it... we didn't exactly talk about it though".

"Well, I'll just be sure to spoil him more whenever he's here" Mom nodded, obviously determined to spoil Kisame rotten every time she saw him now. She then ruffled my hair. "It's a good thing I've already figured his favorite foods, ne?"

_That weekend, also at the Sudachi house_

"Is it just me, or is your mother stranger than usual?" Kisame was beginning to get suspicious of why our house was suddenly stocked with his favorite foods.

"I already warned you that she was planning on spoiling you" I simply sipped my glass of tea, attempting to look sage-like. "It's your own fault if you didn't pay attention".

The Shark sighed. "I did pay attention. I just failed to realize to what extent your mother was willing to go. I mean this type of crab? These aren't even in season and she somehow acquires them fresh".

"I never said I understood how my mother accomplished these things. She simply does them".

"Well, she is _**your **_mother, Koneko. I don't see why I'm surprised anymore".

"You're just jealous because Okaa-san somehow defies logic".

"I think it's more along the lines of you who defies logic, fuzzball".

"Love you too, Kisame".

"Tch".

* * *

"Your mother is planning something, I just know it," the shark-nin grumbled.

"Oh?" I tilted my head, sarcasm lacing my words "What makes you think that?"

"Don't give me that bull crap, Koneko. You're in on it, aren't you?" I swear Kisame had mastered the scary glare. Too bad, I was immune.

"I'm not in on anything," I told him, honest as always. "All I know is that she's watching us really closely as of late".

**Interlude – Akira POV**

She knew they were too young for romance. Still, it was never too early to plant the seeds for when they _were_ old enough. And she knew the two of them well enough to use some basic facts to aid her cause...

**Normal POV**

**Fact – Sharks are territorial**

I groaned upon seeing the familiar brown hair of Kane. He was the son of Okaa-san's best friend. So, I had to tolerate him.

He was 8, older than both Kisame and I, and I hadn't spent much time with him, but I didn't like that look he was giving me.

I had been headed to meet Kisame for training, so the Shark was not currently present.

Meaning I didn't have someone to hide behind.

Damn it.

"Toki~" he hugged me. I instantly began a mental mantra of _I cannot react with violence; I cannot react with violence. _I bet that with my stiff posture I resembled Kisame when I hugged him.

"Hi Kane. Did you need something?" I sighed.

"Nope~! I just thought you looked cute! So I hugged you" he gave a smirk.

Geez, at least I'd ask Kisame's permission before initiating touch. And I wouldn't have messed with his hair if he'd declined.

"That's... nice. Would you let me go please?" must be polite to him.

"Aw~ Why~?"

"Because I asked nicely" I narrowed my eyes, wishing he wasn't under the 'you have to be nice' clause.

"But I don't want to~"

"Then I won't ask nicely. In fact, I won't ask _**at all**_" Kane was suddenly ripped away with vicious force. He landed on his butt a few feet away. Kisame stood there, teeth bared in a furious snarl. "You touched my training partner, bastard. Count yourself lucky that I don't do worse to you, and that Koneko's not a fan of blood". I then found myself being physically dragged to the training grounds with Kisame muttering about how he couldn't let me go anywhere the entire way.

**Kane, a few moments later**

"That what you wanted, Akira-san?"

"It's progress. Thank you very much, Kane. I hope you're not hurt?"

"Just some bruises, but nothing serious. Kisame could've torn me to shreds. He really went easy on me".

"I'm glad. I'll give you your onigiri".

"Thanks Akira-san. You make the best onigiri".

* * *

**Fact – Toki doesn't exactly share well either**

"Hello Toki -san" a girl approached me as I left class, Hana if I remembered her name correctly.

"Hana-san, yes? What do you need?"

"I-it's about Kisame-san..." she looked down.

"Oh dear. What about him?" What had my partner in crime done _this_ time? Kisame was usually good about only targeting those that came after him (or me), or those who he found annoying. Hana was a quiet girl. I couldn't imagine what she'd done to earn Kisame's ire.

"He didn't do anything, I promise!" she protested with a blush.

"Then what?"

"Could... could you tell me what he likes?"

I blinked. "...Pardon?"

"What does Kisame-san like?"

Dense/oblivious mode activate! "...Why?"

"B-because..." Hana flushed "IthinkIlikehim".

"Excuse me?"

"I th-think I l-like him".

My eyes narrowed. Now, I really did wish Kisame were more social. That he had more friends. But hell bloody _**no**_ was I sharing him with some girl who hadn't glanced his way _ever_ that suddenly decided to have a crush on him!

"Hana. The fact you came to _me_ what _he_ likes shows _you_ obviously don't like him like you _**think**_ you do" I was almost hissing the words. "In fact, that you had to ask in the first place shows you should really rethink things". On a roll, I added "Plus. We're six. He's seven. We're too young for such things".

"M-my apologies, Toki-san! I...I'll leave him be!" she fled.

A small part of me felt slightly guilty. Most of me was satisfied.

"Koneko, I can't decide if you look more like a hissing kitten or a smug cat. What happened?" Kisame came walking up just as I moved to go.

"Nothing important, Kisame. It's been handled".

"If you say so".

**Hana, later that day**

"Akira-san, your daughter is terrifying"

"I apologize. Onigiri?"

"It was the only reason I agreed to do anything".

* * *

**Fact – It's never too early to learn how to dance**

"Okaa-san... what? Why dancing?"

"Seconded" the Shark and I were giving my mother a mutual look that said we thought she was insane.

"Oh stop complaining you two. Toki-chan, as a kunoichi you're going to need to learn how to dance in order in blend in. Kisame-chan, dancing will help smooth out your battle style".

We really couldn't argue with that logic.

"Yes Okaa-san"

"Yes Akira-san"

"That's the spirit. We'll start with the basic steps".

* * *

**Fact – Toki is claustrophobic**

"Jashin damn it!" I had taken up the habit of swearing to Jashin, as I was almost certain he was the one in charge of my life here. I sat miserably in the tiny room I had somehow found myself stuck in. I hated tiny spaces. They... reminded me too much of the end of my previous life.

"Toki?" Kisame's voice came sometime later. He must've come looking for me when I didn't show for training.

"Kisame!" I was almost in tears now.

"How in the hell did you get locked in a closet? Much less one in your own house?" he asked through the door as he tried the handle.

"I don't know!" I protested, "I just came looking for sheets, and the door shut behind me!"

"Your parents have a lock on a linen closet? Where are they anyway?"

"They're paranoid jounin! And they went to get groceries! You know how I hate shopping!"

"Point"

"P-please... get me outta here" I sniffled.

"Give me a second". He fumbled at the lock for a few moments. "Damn it. Fine. Fuck this shit". I heard his stepping back. "Move away from the door, Toki".

I obeyed.

"Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu!" the door exploded in a shower of water from one of Kisame's water-shark-bombs. "It's a good thing I can't get those very large yet. They'll do some damage when I have larger reserves" Those bombs were only about the size of a medium-sized dog for now. He looked at me, worried. "You alright, Koneko?"

I ran out to hug him fiercely, still shaking from being trapped.

"...It's alright. You're free now" he moved to hug me. Kisame's movements were jerky, hesitant. It was the thought that counted.

**Akira POV**

She'd never planned to trap her daughter in the closet. Even she wasn't sure why that door had a lock on it. However, it did have a nasty tendency to swing shut. Toki-chan must've forgotten to prop it open. Well, Toki-chan was ok. She could also forgive Kisame-chan for destroying the door, since he was rescuing Toki-chan. Besides, it was nice to see them sowing the seeds for a romance without her help.

* * *

**Fact – Absence makes the heart grow fonder**

"Kisame!" cue the flying-glomp. The shark-nin caught me with an 'oof'.

"Ah, Koneko. You're back" he smirked at me.

"Don't sound so disappointed, Kisame".

"I'm merely missing how quiet it was while you parents decided to use the short break from classes to drag you all on vacation".

"Bite-" his grin widened to be predatory "Rrrg! Jerk! Fine! No souvenir for you!" I huffed off.

"Come on, Koneko! You can't take back a gift!"

"I can if I never gave it to you!"

**Akira POV**

She'd never expected Kisame to admit he'd missed Toki. And he didn't. At least not verbally. However, the shark-boy did practically live with them for a while after their return. He spent most of this time keeping Toki in his line of sight. Ahh, it was good to see her plan working so nicely.

* * *

"I still say your mother is planning something," Kisame grumbled.

"Knowing her, she's already implemented her plan and we just haven't noticed" I retorted.

"This is very true" he sighed. "I have to wonder why your mother isn't ANBU sometimes".

"She doesn't want the tattoo," I chirped.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously"

"I suppose it would get annoying having to hide it constantly" he mused. "Besides, I get enough unwanted attention as is"

"I guess so. I wouldn't want it either," I agreed. "And if you stopped constantly snarling at people, I bet you'd stop getting so much negative attention".

"Because a land-faring shark is obviously the most normal thing in the world, Koneko" Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Oh hush. You're cute. And I bet you'll be attractive as all hell when you grow up" I countered.

"You definitely inherited your mother's insanity"

"You know you love me~"

"You make me question my sanity on a daily basis".

"Love you too~"

"Tch".

* * *

The year ended. We didn't go to watch these particular exams. This time, someone did survive. The name caught my attention. Mangetsu Hōzuki. Older brother of Suigetsu, who I assumed was most likely not born yet. I had never really known much about Mangetsu. In fact, the only thing I remembered was that he was a member of the Seven Swordsmen and he died young. Must not have been during the exams then. They said he'd run D-ranks until they had a proper team to put him on.

But my mind wasn't really focused on Mangetsu. I was more focused on next year.

Next year... Kisame took the exams.

Next year was also the year Zabuza had said he'd strike at those he considered weak.

Could someone please invent a time-jutsu so I can just skip next year?

No?

Might as well go plan my funeral then.

* * *

_-Dramatic music- Until next time folks!_

_**Next time**_ – _"__I gave you a year. You're still weak. And this time, the fishy isn't here to protect you"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_December – Many thanks! Toki does know about Zabuza's future. She knows he's more of a gray character than a real villain. But he goes psycho and commits mass murder of Academy students before going after Obito, if I remember the storyline correctly. I may be mistaken :/ Entirely possible_

_Dean – Thank you! I was actually aiming for adorable with a tad bit of terrifying thrown in. This story __**is**__ in Kirigakure after all. As for Toki and the exam, yes -spoiler- she lives. But as to how or if she take its... you'll just have to wait and see x3 And things may slow down a bit once they get older. For now, chibi-fluff is fun and all, but does not a romance make. So, I'm basically pressing the fast-forward button on the early years. Plus all the cool stuff happens later. Mwahahaha!_

_Shadow – thanks! Kisame doesn't get Samehada for awhile yet. He still has to get through the exams, be a genin, be a chuunin, become a jounin, kill the Cipher Division, find out that Fuguki is selling secrets, and kill Fuguki to acquire Samehada. Poor Shark. As for Toki, I'm not sure if I __**should **__give her a sword. I'm doing my best not to make her a Mary-Sue, and I fear she's already close to that. Plus I think the only sword that suit her is Kiba/__Raitō whichever you want to call them. Hell if I know where the Twin Blades were during this time o.o Any ideas?_

_Arcami – Thank you! Chibi-Zabuza has more prevalence in the next chapter. And as a special treat, you'll be seeing more of Mangetsu than that mention, I promise. :3_

_Ceres – You call up Bruce. I'll have Toki detain Kisame for the intervention. Seconded on Zabuza needing a kick and a hug. While he was never truly evil, he wasn't a nice guy. I didn't see him as being a pleasant child either. _

_Guest – Thank you :)_

_Neko – Yep yep. Zabuza fits well into the Bloody Mist. You'll have to wait and see on the exams~! My evil plot shall be slowly revealed. And thank you! I'll do my best!_

_Vaughn – Thank you ^^_

_Kyid – Here's more, as per request! I'm glad I made you laugh ^^ _

_Kyprioth – Shall I play the Jaws theme as the plot approaches? Or at least the plot for the Chibi Arc? There are more plots and subplots to come -starts playing the Jaws theme- I assure you Toki isn't nearly op as Naruto. Or at least I'm doing my best to keep her from becoming so. I'll give her a couple of cool tricks, but these can be countered, like most any ninja technique. I don't mind rambling, I do it all the time myself ^^; Thank you very much for the long post. You are correct about the warm fuzzies :) Also, thank you for the compliment! I hope this chapter was worth the long review! _


	6. Chaos, Chaos Everywhere

_As always, I'd like to thank those that have shown more interest in this story than I ever thought it would receive. _

_Special thanks to Kyprioth for the idea that helped start off this chapter, and to Yuuki no Yuni for helping my mental dilemma on Toki's weaponry._

**Disclaimer:**Don't Own Naruto

**Warning: **Violence

No Beta

* * *

The most chaotic year of my life yet began in typical fashion. Nothing seemed amiss.

It was just trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

The decent into the chaos I knew to be coming began slowly.

The first step was admittedly my fault.

My class had gotten out early, so I'd gone to wait on my favorite Shark.

Kisame had never been a fan of class, so he was one of the first out.

I promptly glomped him as soon as he appeared in the door. Kisame just sighed, having gotten used to this awhile ago.

"Koneko" he greeted, now attempting to dislodge me.

"Hello, Kisame" I defied him, determined to give the Shark at least ten more seconds of affection.

Then I felt eyes on us. I had expected the rest of his class to protest that we were blocking the door. Instead we were getting open mouthed looks of shock from everyone, including the instructor. I didn't recognize any of them as important characters from Mist.

Unable to resist, I grinned at them. "He lets me play with his hair too. It's soft".

"H-he... and she... still alive?" someone spoke, apparently too stunned to form a proper sentence.

"She's not annoying. Unlike the rest of you" Kisame bared his teeth in a challenging snarl.

Silence fell.

"Come on, Koneko. I forgot this place was full of nitwits" the shark-nin tugged me off.

This small exposure to his class hadn't seemed like much at the time. But it was the thing that started the domino effect.

* * *

Our training sessions had gotten progressively more brutal in preparation for Kisame's exams this year. I ended up with so many bruises they blurred together constantly.

Kisame had acquired many of his signature techniques. Obviously they weren't nearly as strong as they would be in the future, but he was still a deadly opponent.

I was both certain he'd survive the exams and worried sick about the possibility I was wrong.

It was during one of these training session that the next domino fell.

These training grounds were public place, so it wasn't too uncommon to sometimes have spectators.

"You actually lasted for awhile before ending up in the dirt this time, Koneko" the Shark chuckled at me, offering his hand. "You're growing claws".

"Thanks" I accepted the hand, letting him pull me to my feet. "You sir, are getting more deadly and epic every time we spar. You'll show them all who's boss at the exams".

"Exactly as planned" he grinned.

Neither of us payed much attention to the watchers, as per usual.

We should have.

This time, we had people from his class.

As not yet genin of the same Village technically we weren't supposed to be attacking each other.

But this wasn't a normal Village. This was Kirigakure. The Bloody Mist.

Things like loyalty and friendship were viewed as weaknesses.

And any good ninja uses their enemy's weaknesses against them.

Two classmates of his suddenly moved together, deciding to strike while we were both winded from our training session.

I wasn't sure if they were underestimating us, or I was overestimating them. Either way, Kisame and I dodged the attack almost easily.

"Look, Koneko. Tag-team training on moving targets" the Shark flashed his teeth.

I hesitantly nodded. Attacking others was still not something I like to do, but I knew in order to be a ninja, I'd have to get over my dislike of bloodshed. Especially when wanting to partner with a shark-nin that adored a bloodbath.

The two attacked again, Kisame caught the hit thrown at him, using his opponent's momentum to toss the male into the guy attacking me just as I dodged again.

They didn't learn their lesson and came again, both of them targeting me. They thought me the weak one.

Irritation and pride made me react with rapid hand seals. "Raiton: Jibashi". I could only use a small version of the Earth Flash, but the sparking electricity around me made them suddenly have to divert their attacks.

"Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu". Right into two of Kisame's water-shark-bombs.

I winced, they'd have nasty bruises from those. They were lucky those shark-bombs weren't lethal yet.

"Let's show them a real combination, Koneko" he said with a sadistic smile as his hands formed a single seal. "Suiton: Bakusui Shōha".

I knew it was a battle, but seeing Kisame puff up his cheeks to create the water for the Colliding Wave technique made me snicker every time.

The wave was small since Kisame was a nine-year old performing a B-rank jutsu, but it did the trick. The two assailants were shoved back. And now they stood, soaked, in a puddle of water.

That was my cue. I didn't let myself hesitate. "Hōryū Raika no Jutsu" I struck the trail of water that led to the puddle with a lightning filled hand. This was the Discharge Lightning Calamity technique, something only a combination of water and lightning could produce.

The electricity raced along the water to the two attackers. It connected, giving them a nice zap. I quickly brought my hand up, not wanting these poor idiots to be killed.

Upon closer inspection, they were hurt, and paralyzed for now. But they were alive.

"Still have a soft heart, Koneko. That'll get you killed one day, if you're not careful" Kisame sighed as he observed the two boys "Still, this should teach them a lesson".

"Let's go Kisame... I think I'm done for today" I turned to go.

"Alright. Have fun in the dirt you two"

* * *

"They view me as your weakness" I muttered, unhappy.

"Well, you showed them that you're not to be trifled with. You're certainly no weakness. Still say you should've killed those two" Kisame countered. "You've grown some claws, Koneko. You're just afraid to use them".

He gave me a surprisingly serious look. "You're exams are next year. You're going to have to kill to survive. You and I both know this. You may be in denial, but that's doing you no good. This isn't Konoha. We're not some soft shinobi Village. This is the Bloody Mist. This pack of liars wouldn't hesitate to rip out each other's throats. You're no liar, Toki. Neither am I. But if we want to survive, we have to join them in their bloody games. That means killing every time you have the chance".

"..." I stared at the floor of his home. We could have uninterrupted conversation there.

"Don't make me have to drag you hunting and force you to kill the animals again" he threatened.

I shuddered. He'd deliberately picked the small fuzzy ones last time, trying to break my hesitation when it came to killing.

"I won't always be there to finish off the fight, Koneko. And I will not be happy with you if your bleeding heart gets you killed". With that, he deemed the conversation over.

Curse that Shark and his logic.

I knew he was right.

* * *

The chaos lulled again. Luring unsuspecting people into believing everything was alright.

Time passed, Kirigakure was suspiciously peaceful.

Kisame's exams were fast approaching.

Zabuza hadn't shown up yet.

"Are you going to watch?" the shark-nin gave me a neutral look.

I had been dreading this question. "Y-yes".

"You going to be okay with the blood?".

"I'll make myself watch. I... want to cheer you on".

"Even if you're about to vomit the entire time?"

"Yes. I promise"

Kisame grinned. "Thanks, Koneko".

"Here. For good luck" I held out a box.

"A gift?" he cautiously accepted it. Opening it revealed something that had taken me forever to find. A shark's tooth necklace. A large tooth from a Great White to be exact.

Kisame looked confused.

"You put it on, you idiot. Besides, it actually has a purpose besides looking cool. Look on the back of the tooth" I sighed.

"A... seal? You know fuuinjutsu?"

"No. Tou-san does though. I pulled the puppy eyes on him". My father was a reserved and strict man. But he could never resist the puppy eyes.

"Low blow" Kisame made a sympathetic face. He'd fallen for the eyes a time or two himself "What's the seal do?"

"These are chakra stones. As their name suggests they hold chakra" I tapped the small bead-like stones woven into the necklace band.

"But I already have a lot of chakra".

"They're not for your chakra, mister. They currently each hold some of mine. That seal on the tooth allows you to use it. Meaning, you can surprise your opponents with some lightning jutsu" I grinned. "Since I can't actually fight with you, here's the next best thing".

I didn't think Kisame weak. I knew he wasn't.

I just wanted to give my best friend something extra.

"Use it sparingly. Those stones don't hold much. They're only good for one large jutsu or two smaller ones" I added.

"... Toki..." Kisame blinked.. Then he smirked as he put on the necklace. "Thank you. But if this thing looks too girly when I find a mirror, it's coming off".

"It's very masculine, I assure you" I grinned back.

* * *

I assume Kisame must've found the necklace to his liking since it stayed on his neck.

Almost no one questioned his new choice in jewelry. The few that did got Kisame's patented sadistic grin in response.

They knew better than to ask a second time after that.

More time passed, that suspiciously peaceful air about Kirigakure remaining.

Zabuza was still a no-show.

Kisame's exams, however, were today.

I forced myself into the stadium, finding a seat shakily. I would watch this, like I promised.

I would just be feeling violently ill the entire time.

Kisame's class entered the stadium, all taking various positions on the field as they drew weapons. The Shark held a simple sword, one that looked suspiciously like the blade he used to kill the Cipher Devision later.

I stared at the look on Kisame's face. This wasn't the easygoing expression he normally had around me. This bloodthirsty smirk he often wore when he was with the Akatsuki.

I grinned, despite the situation. He was taking this seriously.

The proctor began the fight. It quickly became an all out brawl.

I made myself watch, despite the blood and the death.

The violence of it all made me ill.

Slit throats, evisceration, getting torn into tiny shreds... there were more ways to die here than I could name or count.

Kisame was in the middle of it all, bloodstained blade going from one opponent to the next.

He'd gotten himself hurt, too many enemies at once had managed to have the Shark bleeding from a nasty gash in his side. Still he fought on, not letting himself falter from blood-loss.

It had narrowed down to just a few survivors, Kisame one of them. He grinned at his last remaining opponents, still ignoring his bleeding side. In this moment of stillness, I could see Kisame looked rough. While the side wound was the most severe, he had multiple smaller wounds on his body. His shirt was almost shredded.

Kisame seemed to want this to end quickly as he used Suiton: Bakusui Shōha against them, knocking his opponents into a natural valley. His feral grin got wider, hands flying through seals. The water he still controlled trapped them in a familiar sphere of water.

Suirō no Jutsu, the Water Prison.

It was game over.

Kisame only needed to use one of his shark based techniques on the prison and it'd be a feeding frenzy.

He casually strolled up to the sphere of water as his opponents tried to get out with no success.

It was impossible to tell what hand seals he was using from the stadium seats, but the spark of electricity on his hand as he touched the Prison told me that this wasn't one of his shark techniques.

No, this was Hōryū Raika no Jutsu. The combination jutsu from before.

Kisame wasn't merciful, using up all the chakra I'd put into those stones.

The Water Prison was stained red.

He let it disperse, and Kisame was pronounced the last one standing.

He'd won and graduated.

Then he promptly collapsed, having passed out from blood-loss. A mednin appeared to shunsin him to the hospital.

I raced to follow after. I was only able to relax after I was sure he'd be okay.

* * *

The next morning I was having to go to the academy. It was an obligatory day, where they told you what class you were going to be in the next year. I planned on getting through it quickly.

Strangely this scene of students milling about seemed almost familiar...

Oh.

Oh shit.

The screams came moments later

This was the day of Zabuza's slaughter.

I was suddenly very glad Kisame had insisted on me carrying weapons at all times. The short blade I had on me was only really good for self-defense (and my kenjutsu wasn't great) but it would have to do.

I just really hoped Zabuza hadn't gotten his hands on Kubikiribōchō yet.

I darted for the exit, really not wanting to confront Zabuza. He was most likely weaker than his adult self, but who knows what the Demon of the Mist was capable of as a child.

The sight on the way out made me hesitate.

There was so much blood. Bodies everywhere.

I swayed, sick at the very sight.

"Hmph" uh oh. I knew that voice. The now five or six year old Zabuza casually walked up, a normal sword unsheathed, dripping crimson.

Well, that answers that question.

"I gave you a year. You're still weak. And this time, the fishy isn't here to protect you" he eased into a fighting stance. "You will make a hundred killed today" and he lunged at me.

Why must I be mediocre at kenjutsu?!

My body thankfully remembered the sessions with Kisame. I automatically parried.

This was not good. Jashin, Zabuza had killer strength even now.

The fact I parried and looked stunned at the fact I managed to do so made Zabuza angry. He began to attack in rapid succession, using speeds I didn't know it was possible for someone his age to have.

His blade got past my defenses, and my dodge was a fraction too slow. I received a gash on the bottom left of my throat which went to my collarbone.

I needed to get him away.

"Raiton: Jibashi" Zabuza darted back, but a spark of my electricity caught him, leaving a bleeding wound on his arm. It was minor... but I'd landed a hit.

"Going to mix ninjutsu into this? Two can play at that game" Zabuza moved to put his hands into seals.

I reacted faster than I thought.

"Rai Ken" lightning sparked to life on my blade and I tossed it like a kunai, catching Zabuza's cheek as he dodged. The electricity on my blade had been weak. I'd been panicked, and I couldn't kill Zabuza.

He was too important to the plot.

But the lightning had been strong enough to make his muscles seize up and paralyze him.

I panted as ANBU arrived on the scene.

"You've made an enemy, girl" Zabuza snarled before the ANBU shunsined him away.

* * *

"This will leave a scar" a medic told me about the wound on my throat sometime later.

"Wonderful" I sighed. I give him two minor cuts, and he gives me a freaking scar. At least I would live to tell about it."Kisame's going to unamused with me when he finds out". He'd also probably insist on finding a weapon I didn't suck at using.

Those minor hits on Zabuza had been lucky shots, and I knew it.

I never particularly liked kenjutsu anyway.

* * *

_I'm not the best with fight scenes. I hope they're acceptable._

_Another serious chapter. Mixing humor and the Bloody Mist is like oil and water. At least things will lighten up in the future..._

_**Next time**__ – "__I get to study under one of the Seven Swordsmen. Fuguki, he has Samehada"_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Little – Yep. Evil cliffhangers. I make no apologies xD_

_December – Yeah, the last chapter was purposefully random. It was sort of highlight chaos caused or related to Akira's meddling. GAH. Grammar is not my strong point. I apologize. I edited the chapter. Hope it's better now. This is why I warn people about me not having a beta reader. I don't catch my mistakes every time. Again, many many apologies. Forgive me ;~;_

_Freedom – Alas, your link didn't work :(_

_Kyprioth – I was actually really struggling for a way to start off this chapter. So thank you again for the idea! Did this roller coaster satisfy? I love Akira too. I smile every time I get to write her. _

_Mentally – As per request, an update :)_

_Shadow – Here you go, Kisame's Mist exam. I'm rather bad at fight scenes though. I apologize ^^;_

_Ceres – Sadly Zabuza was not yet a student and therefore not in the exams. But that scar he gave Toki? Kisame does not approve of others marking his Koneko. -evil smile- Yay plot!_

_Ophy – Thank you very much! I second that. The Shark does not get the love he deserves! I have no plans on abandoning this. I have a plot! I hope to entertain you until the tale is finished :)_

_Shanny – Thank you! I hope you'll continue to enjoy it :3_

_Yuuki – Kisame needs love too, there aren't nearly enough stories with him. I caught your review as I was writing this chapter and made slight edits to the Toki vs Zabuza fight. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the suggestion. I was really not wanting her to be a Swordsman. Too Mary Sue-ish. But for some reason long range weaponry didn't come into my mind. But, after reading your review, it made sense. Plus, with her distaste for blood, Toki would be better with long-rang weapons anyway. I offer you virtual dango._


	7. Sharks NEVER Share

_What's this? A fast update?! This is madness!_

_Madness? This. Is. SPARTA!_

_Ahem, as always, thank you for the love you have shown this story!_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

I gave a sigh as I headed towards the Shark's home. Kisame was finally free of both the hospital and sorting out his genin arrangements. He'd been pretty vocal about not wanting to run D ranks for a year. Kisame had also mentioned attempting to do something more productive with his time.

He said he'd just have to be convincing.

Whatever he was doing had kept him busy for a few days after he got out of the hospital.

This would be the first time I got to see him since the Zabuza incident.

I didn't even know if he'd heard about it.

I was so not prepared for this.

The scar on my neck was perfectly positioned so that unless I wore a scarf or something like that, it was going to show.

It would only be a matter of time for Kisame to notice it.

I almost considered bringing a timer.

Despite knowing that all hell was likely to break loose, I knocked on the familiar apartment door.

"It's open, Koneko" came the response. I made my way inside. Kisame was in his kitchen area, apparently working on food. His back was to me. "Sorry, gotta watch this or it'll burn. Give me a moment".

"It's good to see you standing" I couldn't help the grin at seeing him up and about. I'd known he'd be okay after visiting the hospital, but it was still good to see the proof.

"As if those nitwits could take me down" Kisame chuckled.

He must not have heard about the Zabuza thing. Else he'd have mentioned it by now.

Well didn't that just make things ten times harder.

"I have news for you, Koneko" he continued, still having to hover over the food he was making "About what I'll be doing to keep busy while I'm waiting on your exams. Cause D-ranks weren't going to cut it. Actually got the idea from that Mangetsu guy from last year's exams".

"Didn't know you knew him" I was mildly surprised.

"I don't. But I did hear how he escaped having to run D-ranks for a year. I thought the idea suited me as well" .

I could practically sense that grin on his face.

"Oh? What will you be doing then?"

"I'll have to run a few D-ranks, cause everyone has to to. But, after that..."

I envisioned that smirk getting wider.

"I get to study under one of the Seven Swordsmen. Fugaki, he has Samehada" Kisame informed me. "Even once I get a genin team, I'll be working with him on the side. He'll be my shishou".

I hadn't known Kisame got his teacher this early. But it made sense. It was best to start teaching early to produce a master swordsman. The system worked, testament by the deadly swordsman Kisame would become.

This meant Fugaki was that jerk selling secrets.

I wished I could tell Kisame. But convincing him that I, an eight year old, knew one of the legendary Swordsmen was selling secrets was beyond impossible.

I would just have to let Kisame discover that for himself. He would be able to handle a swordsman of Fugaki's caliber better than I would.

"I can hear you thinking, Toki".

"Just wondering how we're going to be able to hang out if I have the Academy and you have your lessons" this question had just popped into my head.

"Nobody said we wouldn't still train together. You're not getting off that easy, Koneko" he chuckled, finishing up the food. "There. Now it's safely out of the burning zone".

* * *

And in 3...

Kisame turned, grin on his face.

2...

His grin fell, a serious look on his face that quickly warped into a scowl.

1.

"What the hell happened there?" the Shark gestured to my throat.

"Did you hear about Zabuza?" I looked at the floor.

"Only that the twerp got his ass arrested by ANBU".

"He went on a slaughtering spree of Academy students".

Kisame's eyes flashed dangerously. "And you got that from him?"

"Yes... he tried to kill me". I could feel Kisame's killer intent suddenly darkening the room.

"Was he torn into tiny shreds when the ANBU got him?" a deceptively calm question.

"I barely nicked him" I admitted quietly. "I'm not the best with kenjutsu... you know that"

"And?" he knew I wasn't telling him everything.

"He told me I'd made myself an enemy"..

The look on Kisame's face spelled a slow and painful death.

"Looks like we need to find you a better weapon, Koneko" his smirk was lethal. "And don't worry about Zabuza.". He gave a dark chuckle that had even me wanting to run for the hills. "I'll teach him a lesson about marking _**my**_ Koneko".

Kisame smirked wider, obviously having gruesome ideas about what to do to Zabuza. "Food first. Then I'm dragging your ass to the training grounds. We're finding a weapon that you can use".

"Yes sir" it was never wise to argue with Kisame when he was like this.

The Shark ignored me, only moving to make plates, still wearing that bloodthirsty smirk. Like me, Zabuza had made himself an enemy.

* * *

Kisame practically unloaded the training room of all the various weapons he could find there.

"We're going to just work through these" he pointed at the pile.

"Lovely" I couldn't help the comment.

"Stop hissing Koneko and get to it".

"Fine"

This was going to be a long day.

_Sometime later_

"So you're better at ranged stuff. Somehow not surprised" Kisame mused as I finally finished attempting everything in that accursed pile "You seemed the best with the senbon".

So I was going to be the Mist version of Genma?

But I didn't want to be a pervert!

"You also seemed seemed comfortable with the Kusarigama. That'll give you heavier hits"

Now I was the Mist version of Tenten.

Did this mean I would forever lack any screen time?

"I bet we could combine that with the senbon to give you a ranged style" the Shark continued.

So Genma mixed with Tenten?

What did that even equal?!

"Time to work on the basics then. And figure out how to combine the two".

Ugh. I adored Kisame, but sometimes I wanted to hit him.

* * *

"Would you stop staring at my neck? It's creepy" I asked.

Kisame had been relentlessly drilling me in the two weapons I had shown promise with for hours now. The sun was almost completely gone.

He hadn't stopped staring at my neck the entire time.

"I still can't believe he marked you" Kisame snarled, unhappy.

"Being a kunoichi means I would eventually get scars" I pointed out.

"Not like that one" he growled "It's different"

"How?" I gave an exasperated sigh.

"That _thing_ is a mark of territory" the shark growled.

I blinked. Then gave him a deadpan stare. "What part of the fact he wants to kill me did you not understand?"

"He's marked you as _his_ " Kisame approached me, irritated that I didn't seem to understand. "His to kill. But still _his_". He gave a snarl, motioning to the necklace he still wore. "Want to know why I used this to do the finishing blow in the exams?"

Well that was an abrupt topic change.

""Sure?"

"Two reasons. The first was to show you that you are capable of killing. That was your chakra I used after all" he stared at me "The second was a claim".

"A... claim?" I was throughly confused.

"You are _my_ partner. _My_ friend. Mine and _**no one**_ else's" he growled. "That jutsu was showing that for everyone to see".

Wow.

I didn't know nine-year-olds could do possessive.

Must be a Shark thing.

"I also wear a visible statement of your claim on me" the shark-nin added, gesturing to the necklace again. "Yet, you have the mark of another on you".

"Kisame, it's not like I wanted to get scarred by Zabuza" this was the best I could come up with.

"It is still something that needs to be fixed" he retorted.

"It's a scar. I can't get rid of it".

"I can negate the claim though".

"By doing what?"

"Putting a visual statement of my claim on you. Seems the display was not enough" Kisame was suddenly _way_ too close for comfort.

What was he planning?!

He leaned in and in a panic I shut my eyes.

"I'll be sure to find something suitable" his voice came from directly beside my ear.

All of sudden, he turned and left. "Be sure to keep working on those weapons, Koneko. I expect you to become a master".

I was left, standing there in a daze.

I made enemies with Zabuza.

I was training with two weapons known for their use by others.

I had a Shark searching for a way to stake some sort of claim on me.

Somebody save me.

* * *

For lack of a better idea, I told the situation to my mother.

Her response was... unexpected.

"YES!" she made a celebratory motion.

"Okaa-san...?"

"Oh honey, it's alright. Just accept whatever Kisame-chan decides to give you" she chirped, practically dancing in happiness.

"But weren't you listening at all?" I protested.

"Of course I was! And he's right! It's only proper that he gives you something".

"But Okaa-san! He wants to give me something for an absurd reason! That necklace I gave him wasn't..."

"It was a way to help your friend, was it not?"

"Yes ma'am, but-"

"No buts! Toki-chan, it's really all right. You'll understand when you're older".

If only she knew.

I _was _older and I _still _didn't understand it.

* * *

**Interlude – Kisame POV**

Words failed to describe the burning rage he'd felt when he'd first seen that scar marring his Koneko's neck.

That rage had only increased when she told him the story of how it got there.

At first, he'd successfully distracted both himself and his inner shark with trying to find Toki a more suitable weapon.

But once he'd started drilling her in the two weapons that she seemed comfortable with, he couldn't stop himself from starring at the offending mark.

He could practically feel his inner shark thrashing the longer he stared.

When she'd called him on it, he'd done his best to explain. But, she hadn't understood. Not really.

Poor Koneko was really oblivious.

She'd worked him into a territorial frenzy.

When he'd gotten closer to her his initial plan had been simple.

He would obey that order she'd never learned to stop giving him.

Bite me. Two simple words.

They meant everything to a predator like himself.

Especially a predator that even now wore the collar she'd given him.

He'd stopped himself at the last moment.

No, he would not stake his claim like that.

Not yet at least.

No, he would find a collar for his Koneko to stake his claim with for now.

And he'd go after that sorry piece of trash that had dared marked _his_ girl and tear him into tiny little pieces.

Then he'd summon the biggest shark he could and feed the pieces to it.

That image almost made him purr happily.

It was a good thing Sharks couldn't purr.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Here, Koneko" Kisame offered me a box.

I cautiously accepted the box and opened it. In it, on a simple metal chain, hung charm made from sea glass.

The charm was a shark.

The whole thing... was surprisingly pretty.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't store chakra or anything like the one you gave me. But it's the best I could do" he glared at the ground.

"It's perfect" I assured "Thank you". I moved to put it on.

"Let me help" Kisame took the necklace and put it on me before I could protest. He steeped away, observing me. He gave a satisfied nod. "Much better. Now I just have to kill that ass in a slow and painful manner and I will be a happy shark".

"Kisame... don't kill Zabuza" the Mist demon played too important of a role to die now.

"So you're saying I should just let him get away with it?" the snarl was to be expected.

"I didn't say you couldn't beat him to a pulp" I sighed. "Just... don't kill him".

"Why not?" he snapped.

Something honest to say. "...He's not worth it". The Mist Demon's life was not worth the chaos his death would cause if he died now.

"Tch. Fine. I won't kill the bastard. But I _will_ enjoy every second of me beating him to a pulp".

"Fair enough" I shook my head. "Shouldn't it be me facing him? You know to settle the score?"

"Koneko, I don't give a damn. You're not going anywhere near him again" came the snapping reply.

"Long range fighter now, remember?"

"You know what I meant!" Kisame gave me a sharp look. "The bastard's mine now".

* * *

**Days Later – 3****rd****Person POV**

"Kirigakure no Kijin" a voice scoffed. "Fancy title for slaughtering a bunch of Academy students".

"What do _you_ want?" Zabuza snapped at the speaker, recognizing the voice. "I don't care about anything you have to say, fishy".

"You should" Kisame drawled.

"And why's that?" the Mist Demon sneered.

"Because you hurt someone that's mine" the response came with a none-too-friendly smirk.

"What? That weak bitch that I scratched with my blade?" Zabuza laughed. "What'd you call her again? Oh right, your _Koneko_, yes? Pathetic little kitten you've got there Kisame".

"You see this necklace I'm wearing?" the shark toyed with it.

"What about it?"

"Know what these are?" he gestured to the small stones woven into the band.

"As if I care".

Kisame gave a dark chuckle. "You will". Without warning, he suddenly moved, drawing his blade and striking in a single motion.

Zabuza cursed, having to dodge so he could draw his own sword.

Shark and Demon clashed blades.

"Hmm. You're fast. But I'm faster" Kisame gave a wide smirk, showing off his teeth. "Did you know when someone channels a lightning technique, they get a speed boost?"

"So? You're a water user" Zabuza lunged, only to have the Shark dodge easily

"True. But my Koneko isn't. Rai Ken" lightning flared to life on Kisame's sword. It was a good thing Toki had decided to refill the chakra stones for him.

He made a mental note to ask her to do so again after this.

Suddenly, he flickered out of sight, the lightning-technique allow him to move at jounin speeds.

Zabuza was unable to doge the blow from the hilt of Kisame's sword that came crashing into his head.

He fell to the ground, only to get kicked so that he was laying on his back.

The lightning vanished off his blade as Kisame loomed over the downed and dizzy Zabuza.

He rested the tip of it on the Demon's throat.

"You owe my Koneko. She told me not to kill you" he informed flatly. "And she was right". The shark-nin sheathed his blade, walking away.

"You're not worth it".

Kisame would let the bastard live. But if he touched Toki again, the Demon would need to start running because there would be nowhere on this planet that he would be able to hide.

* * *

_Kisame plus speed boost is hax. But at least it's not Sharigan hax level._

_**Next time –**__The time had come. I had to face the graduation exams._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Mentally – Thank you! This muse torments my brain unless I'm writing, so expect semi-frequent updates. Unless I go on strike, but I'm currently having fun writing this._

_Shadow – Thanks! I certainly plan on continuing :)_

_Rose – I honestly have no idea how long it's going to take for the entire thing to pan out. You may be waiting awhile :P The Chibi Arc is slowly coming to an end though. But there's more Arcs to go!_

_Vaughn – Thanks!_

_Freedom – I got it in that mail. It was just as adorable as a child Kisame should be :3_

_Yuuki – Angry Kisame reacts with violence and hax. This is why you should never anger a Shark. Yay for Toki's new long range weapons! I chose them deliberately, they seemed to suit her. Despite her complaining, I fully intend on her becoming quite skilled with them. ^^_

_Scarlet – Thank you very much :)_

_Shanny – Rule number 1 – Never piss off a Shark. Toki is slowly growing to accept the violence. I doubt she'll ever enjoy killing, but she'll stop being so squeamish about it. After all, you can't be a kick-ass kunoichi if you won't kill._

_Ceres – Your chibi Shark is evolving! Congratulations, your chibi Shark evolved into bad-ass possessive Shark!_

_December – I wouldn't know where to find a beta. Happy birthday! Sadly, she really can't tell Kisame much of anything. How would she, a eight-year-old at this point, possibly know about Fuguki selling secrets? That's why she thinks it best for the Shark to find out himself._

_Kyrioth – My bad for the confusion. That quote was from Kisame, as you know now. ^^; I'll make it clearer who's speaking in my teasers. Hope you enjoyed the territorial/possessiveness that is Kisame xD Yep, Toki will now be death from afar! Beware the combination of senbon and Kusarigama! Again, thanks for the plot bunny. You wouldn't believe how long I sat there going 'now how do I start this'._

_Ophy – I'm glad you liked it. I figured the Shark would enjoy a gift like that. Kisame's reaction: RAGE HAX! And thank you, I was worried about it. Fights are not my forte._


	8. The Graduation Exam

_This story is like a fly. Constantly buzzing around my head. Insisting that it be written._

_Thank you all so much again for your reviews, favorites, and follows!_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Violence

No Beta

* * *

And so the last few months I had before my exam began.

In all honesty, I was confused.

The exams were supposed to have stopped after Zabuza's slaughter, right?

Zabuza had knocked out the entire class below mine. I would've been his first victim of the people my age.

Mist had already lost a significant number of potential shinobi.

So then, why was I still having to take the exams?

I didn't know, but I was not looking forward to this. I was only glad I had no real ties to anyone in my current class.

Kisame had begun his work with Fugaki, but the Shark had kept his word. Each and every day after class he was there, dragging me off to train.

"I have a plan" he told me with a smirk. "We'll focus primarily on your weapons, since you're still getting used to them. Once I deem you competent, then we're going to spar. No holds barred. You better do your best to defeat me Koneko, cause when we reach that stage, I'm not going easy on you".

I gave Kisame a horrified stare. We both knew he could kick my ass.

"Oh don't give me that look. The way I figure it is that if you can hold your own against me, hell if you can even defeat me some of the time, those nitwits in your class won't stand a chance" he patted my head. Then he got a thoughtful look "I'm also going to drag you hunting. We're breaking that aversion to killing".

So brutal training, no-holds-barred sparring, _and_ killing fluffy creatures?

Kisame was going to make these remaining months absolute hell.

To make sure I survived

I wasn't sure if I should kiss him or smack him upside the head.

I blinked at the thought. Smacking the Shark I understood. But _kiss_? Where had that come from?

Why not a hug? Or some other less romantic form of thanks? Like food or something?

Ugh. I blame these weired thoughts on the stress.

It was best to forget that thought and pretend it never happened.

Yep.

Never happened.

* * *

**Weapons Training**

"You're trowing senbon until you can hit where I tell you to hit each and every time. I already know you can hit the bullseye reliably. But you need to be able to pick a spot and know that if you toss a senbon and your opponent doesn't dodge you're going to hit it" Kisame instructed.

He pointed to a spot on the target. "Hit there".

I attempted to obey, only to have to dodge a sudden lunge from the Shark.

"The hell, Kisame?!" I snapped.

"Your opponents won't let you stand still. Hit the target, Koneko" he twirled his blade, coming after me again.

It took five days of this before Kisame was satisfied. "Now for a moving target" cue being dragged to targets that moved at various speeds. "hit the fastest one. In the center. And you won't be able to stand still for this one either" he then used a water jutsu, aiming for my feet.

Why, _why_ had I agreed to this?

This took over a week and a half before the Shark deemed me acceptable.

"Kusarigama now. Same thing with the senbon. You're throwing that attempting to hit or wrap whatever target I tell you to. While dodging me" he handed over the sickle-chain in question.

"You know Kisame, I think you're enjoying this way too much" I grumbled as I began to twirl to chain.

"Possibly" the Shark smirked. "Alright, Koneko" he pointed to a pole "Hit then wrap that".

I nodded and moved to dodge his strike while attempting to hit the desired target.

The kusarigama took me a full week for stationary targets before Kisame was satisfied.

""Nicely done, Koneko".he smirked at me.

"I know, I know. Moving targets now" I sighed.

"You're getting the idea".

A month. A whole blasted month before the shark-nin decided I was acceptable.

"You're still not great with either of them. And you haven't even attempted at mixing the two" Kisame wasn't one to beat around the bush. He just smirked a challenge at me. "But that's what the spars are for".

"So basically I have to figure shit out while fighting you" I glared at me.

"Exactly".

* * *

**Sparring **

**Kisame – 0,****Toki – 0**

"Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu".

"Damn it, Kisame! I'm already having a hard time dodging one of you!"

"Stop hissing Koneko and start fighting back".

"Bite me!"

"You asked for it" the two Kisames snapped their teeth and lunged

"I didn't mean it!" I barely avoided the two of them. The clone was still too close. "Raiton: Jibashi". The lightning destroyed his clone. I panted.

Then I felt a blade touching my neck.

"Dead. You favor that technique too much. I know you have variety, Koneko. Use it" Kisame lowered his blade.

**Kisame – 5, Toki – 0**

My kusarigama sliced through another of Kisame's water clones.

Dang Shark had a lot of chakra even now. This was his tenth clone in this spar.

"Suirō no Jutsu". I found myself trapped in a sphere of water.

Kisame had caught me off guard. He casually strolled over to my water sphere as I struggled to escape.

He put his hands together than slammed on onto the sphere. "Suiton: Goshokuzame" five chakra-sharks emerged from his fingers and lunged for me. They stopped mere inches from rending me into tiny pieces.

The Water Prison dispelled. "Dead" the Shark stated, as if that wasn't obvious.

**Kisame – 12, Toki – 0**

I launched some senbon, making Kisame have to dodge.

"Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu" Kisame in return sent a water-shark-bomb in my direction.

This was met by a swing of my kusarigama, making the shark explode harmlessly.

"I did it!" I smiled.

Until I felt a blade touch my neck again.

"Dead. Don't get distracted" Kisame scolded. But then he grinned. "But you're getting better".

**Kisame – 17, Toki – 0**

"Suiton: Bakusui Shōha".

I cursed barely able to dodge the oncoming wave.

I grinned, having two surprises up my sleeve. The first was because I thought it was cool.

I was about to totally rip-off Kakashi. I mean I was already stealing from Genma and Tenten. Why not add Kakashi to the mix?

My hands flew through seals "Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu". The Lightning Beast Running Technique.

Kakashi's took the form of a lightning dog/wolf/thing.

I had decided to take a more personal route. Plus the irony was too good to pass up.

My lightning beast was a large cat, and it lunged after Kisame, forcing the shark into a rapid series of dodges. A trail of electricity still connected the lightning cat to me, allowing me to control its movements.

I was using the cat to force Kisame towards a pole.

Once in position, I dropped the jutsu and swung the kusarigama.

To my surprise, I hit, the chain wrapping Kisame and trapping him to the pole.

Here's where the second surprise came in.

The Rai Ken or lightning blade worked wonders with kunai or senbon.

Not so much with the kusarigama. So, I'd found a different jutsu.

I positioned the chain so it wouldn't go slack and I could still perform seals. "Raiton: Kangekiha".

This was the 'Wave of Inspiration'. It was a lightning technique designed to gather electricity in the user's hands to pass through a conductive material to a target.

The metal chain of the kusarigama was perfect for this.

Lightning flew down the chain, racing for Kisame at horrendous speed.

I stopped the lightning moments before the Shark was zapped.

"...Dead" I couldn't believe it.

I'd won.

"Nice work, Koneko" Kisame grinned as I let the chain go slack, freeing him. "You'll show them all just what a kitten is capable of".

"Can I at least be a cat now?"

Instantaneous response "No".

He chuckled then added "And don't think we aren't going to continue sparring just cause you won once".

"Jashin damn it".

* * *

I eyed the arena in front of me and gulped, nervously toying with the necklace Kisame had given me.

The time had come. I had to face the graduation exams.

I checked my weapons for the twentieth time.

I had so many senbon on me, it was a wonder I wasn't sticking myself every time I moved.

The kusarigama was coiled around my waist, posing as a belt. One good tug and the sharp bladed ends would be flying.

And of course I had a number of kunai on me.

I still was _not_ ready for this.

My parents and a certain Shark were already seated in the audience.

It was the final moments before my class would enter the arena.

In just a few minutes it was kill or be killed.

I closed my eyes, allowing myself a moment of stillness, holding the shark-charm like it was a lifeline. I had known from the beginning being a ninja would mean taking lives.

I just wished it wasn't my own classmates that I was having to kill first.

The sound of the opening gates snapped me out of my thoughts. I shoved the morals of my old life into the corner of my mind, releasing my necklace.

I would not think about this. I would not feel fear. I would not feel guilt.

Not until it was over, one way or the other.

I walked out into the arena along with the rest of my class. I took a position on slightly higher ground.

"Ready" the jounin proctor raised his arm. It swung down. "Begin". He shunsined out.

As with Kisame's exam, chaos erupted.

"Rai Ken" I launched electrified senbon at anyone that got within my range. Depending on where the senbon struck someone this got one of two results. The most likely result was paralysis.

Upon this result, I shamelessly abused the speed boost from the Rai Ken technique and would dart at them, kunai in hand. They wouldn't be able to defend themselves as I went for their throats.

The second result, was only if the senbon hit certain areas, like the heart or throat. The needles held enough charge that if they struck there, the electric shock killed the opponent.

After awhile, they were getting too close for the senbon to be very effective. I canceled the Rai Ken, loosing the speed boost.

A tug loosed the kusarigama from my waist, and I spun the chain. The blade was sent flying after anyone that got within its shorter range.

Unfortunately, this allowed people closer. I had been using senbon and kunai to force anyone that got past the chain back, but this strategy was bound to fail eventually.

I dodged too slowly. A blade sliced my back. I whirled to respond with a punch to the wielder's face. I tried flipping away, only to have the end of the sword catch my leg.

Now bleeding badly from two places, I made a mental note to work on my dodging.

I sent the kusarigama flying at her, successfully wrapping her in its chain. Time for revenge.

"Raiton: Kangekiha". I didn't allow myself to be merciful and hold back a single volt of electricity from the lightning that raced down the chain to her.

I let her fall, quickly winding the chain up.

There was only one other person left. And they were far away.

Good thing I was a ranged fighter.

Time to finish this bloodbath.

"Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu". The lightning cat sprang to life, racing for the opponent. As hurt and winded as they were, they had no prayer of dodging it.

The lightning beast faded.

Everything was fuzzy... and getting blurrier.

I had lost a lot of blood. My chakra was all but gone.

"Winner: Toki Sudachi".

Oh? She won? That was nice...

My world went dark.

* * *

**Two Days Later**

"Ugh. I feel like I just decided to headbutt one of Kisame's shark-bombs" I groaned as the world came back into focus.

"Don't ever do that to me again, Koneko" came the snarl of an irate Shark.

"What'd I do?"

"Toki-chan, you're awake!" my mother hugged me fiercely.

"Musume, you scared all of us" my father's quiet voice sounded.

"Wha' happened?" I blinked.

"You were out for two days" Dad informed me.

"Oh" no wonder my head hurt. "I'm sorry".

"It's alright Toki-chan. We're just all glad you're awake" Mom finally released me.

"Did I miss anything?"

"They've decided to end this style of examination" Dad answered "The Village looses too many possible shinobi from it, and our classes are already thin thanks to that Zabuza incident".

Mom then went to grab Dad's hand and tug him out of the room. "Come on, dear. Let's get Toki some food".

Only once they were gone did Kisame speak again. "You... really did scare me, Koneko" he sighed. " I thought I'd lost you".

"Sorry" for being out for two days, I was insanely sleepy. This was the best I had conversation wise.

"I know. We just have to work on your dodging".

"M'kay" I was drifting off. "Thanks Kisame. For the help"

"Anytime".

"Love ya"

"...You too. Get some sleep Koneko".

* * *

_And thus Toki is now a Mist genin. Not entirely sure I did a good job with her exams. Dang fight scenes being my downfall._

_**Next time**__ – __A flirt with a brother complex as bad as Itachi's and a Shark convinced I was somehow his. That was my genin team._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Ceres – The image of Kisame purring makes me giggle :3_

_Shanny – Hehe, glad you enjoyed it. Whoo! A couple name! Success! :D The genin days shall have plenty of fluff. It's going to help counteract the seriousness that is the Mist_

_Guest – Here you go, as per request!_

_TheOne – Glad you enjoy it :)_

_Wayward – Thank you very much! This is why you don't touch someone or something belonging to Kisame. Bad things happen. And thank you for that. I fixed it ^^;_

_December – Thanks for telling me about the beta. ^^ I have reasoning for making Kisame so possessive. In canon, Kisame admits to being self-conscious about his appearance. Most people, especially females, didn't want to be around a shark-person. So in my head-canon, if someone came along and didn't care about his looks and actually got to know him, I bet Kisame would be exceedingly possessive. That person would basically have a guard-shark. Plus real sharks are actually very territorial. That's my thought process anyways._

_Lollipop – Thank you! Here's another chapter for you._

_Arcami – As I can't find __**any**__information on Mangetsu's personality, I fully intend on using that to my advantage. As promised, he becomes slightly more important. _

_Mentally – Hehe, thank you :)_

_Music – I'm glad you like it! Hope the exams lived up to your expectations. Fight scenes are not my best ^^;_

_Bloody – I think she'll be primarily lightning with some basic medic skills. Not Sakura's or Tsunade's level, but enough to be useful. She's managed to graduate now. Your other question will be answered in time :P_

_Eien – Thank you very much! I agree. The Shark needs more love. I'm glad you like my portrayal of him ^^ Oh gosh, now I'm imagining Guy and Lee joining you in that pose, complete with that sunset background. And I guess it'd be Genten as the dude's name is typically first._

_Guest – I'm glad you deem this squeal worthy :D I too would adore glomping Kisame. Toki unfortunately is a more oblivious version of me. Kisame has his work cut out for him._

_Yuuki – I hope I'm writing it as epically as it appears in my head. It's hard translating the mini-anime I have in my mind to words. I swear the Shark defies logic with his ability to be so adorable. Yay for overly exuberant mothers who shamelessly ship their children! xD_

_Shadow – I remember. He doesn't die until the Wave Arc in canon, which Kisame has no part of. I suspect neither Toki nor Kisame will be there to witness it when it happens_

_Ophy – Sharks aren't exactly big on sharing... Thank my muse for my updates. It won't be quiet unless I write. Therefore, more chapters!_

_Quickly – Thank you, glad you like it! :) Kisame as a kid is too adorable. It's impossible not to squeal. I certainly intend to keep at this story until it's done!_


	9. Team Dysfunctional

_As per a request, I updated my profile with information describing Toki as she appears in my mind. I had to relate her to other Naruto characters because I don't know the names of hairstyles or clothing..._

_As always, thank you so very much for the attention you've given to this!_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

I received my hitai-ate from my former Academy teacher. I decided to further my habit of copying other characters, wearing the headband as a choker like Hinata and Temari. The necklace from Kisame was long enough that the shark charm wasn't covered from this, hanging visibly below it.

I was given a set list of customary D-ranks to finish by a certain date and time. At this time I was to go to a set training ground where I would meet my team.

So, I did.

And now I sat in the appointed training ground, waiting since I'd gotten there early.

Suddenly, there was a rush of water around me, forming into a person. I stared slack-jawed at none other than Mangetsu Hōzuki. Who was invading my personal space and leaning in really close to my face.

"Hello. I suppose you are are the kunoichi of our team? I'm glad I got such a cute girl" he grinned, showing the traditional sharp teeth of those in the Swordsmen. "I'm Mangetsu Hōzuki. May I have your name, lovely?" he actually took my hand and kissed it.

Mangetsu... was a flirt?

Excuse me while I repair my brain. I think it just broke.

"T-Toki Sudachi" I finally answered.

"Toki-chan, hm? It's a pleasure". He was waaaaay too close. "I hope we can get to know each other better".

"Uhh..." I was blushing from my utter confusion.

"If you value your life, you'll back off. _**Now**_" this snarl was a voice I knew well. Kisame was here.

"And you must be the other member" Mangetsu literally pouted before sighing sadly "I was hoping for another pretty girl".

"Back. Off" Kisame was approaching, fully intent on tearing Mangetsu to shreds if he didn't obey.

"She has a name you know. Toki-chan is so pretty, why ever would I back off?" said with a challenging smirk.

Kisame drew his blade and lunged. Mangetsu was forced to dodge or risk getting his throat slit by a furious shark.

"Don't bother her. Or else you'll have to deal with me" the shark-nin's growl was lethal. He turned to look at me. "You alright, Koneko?"

"Kitten? She's far too lovely to be a mere kitten" Mangetsu scoffed.

Kisame gritted his teeth, but ignored Mangetsu in favor of my answer.

"I...I'm alright" I assured, deciding it was in my best interest to stand.

"Good. I don't suppose you'll let me kill him?" he jerked his thumb at Mangetsu.

"Kisame!"

"Damn. Fine" Kisame moved to indicate the necklace I wore. "See that asshole? She's mine. Stay away. That way I don't have to kill you and upset her".

"Yours? It seems that it's really more the other way around" Mangetsu's teeth were bared in a grin.

"Toki. Close your eyes" Kisame sheathed his blade to crack his knuckles. "He deserves to die _slow_".

"Kisame" I snapped. "No".

"But-"

""No"

"Damn it. _Fine_. You got lucky bastard".

"Seems I'll be having competition for the beautiful lady" Mangetsu just smiled.

"_What did you say?_" if the shark got much angrier I wouldn't be able to stop him.

"So good to see my genin getting along already" a male voice drawled. The three of us stopped to turn to our new sensei. For the second time that day I gaped.

I knew his face. He was younger, maybe twenty. He also didn't have his eyepatch yet.

"I am Ao" he introduced himself. He gave us an icy glare. "Sit".

We obeyed.

Ao was utterly terrifying and he hadn't even raised his voice.

"Tell me about yourselves. I might reward you with the same" he motioned to Mangetsu. "You first, snowy".

"I'm Mangetsu Hōzuki. I like spicy food and cute girls, like the one we have on our team" he winked at me causing Kisame to growl softly. "I dislike lemons and small dogs. I'm currently an only child. But if I had a sibling, it would be a younger brother who I would adore and who would be highly skilled. I'd teach him everything".

I couldn't help my eye twitch. Apparently it is possible to have a brother complex when your brother isn't even born yet.

"Alright" Ao turned his gaze to Kisame. "Fishy next".

"Kisame Hoshigaki" the shark grumbled. "I like seafood. I dislike shark fin soup. Toki, whom I call Koneko is _mine_".

I couldn't help my sigh.

A flirt with a brother complex as bad as Itachi's and a Shark convinced I was somehow his. That was my genin team.

"And finally you, girly" Ao stared at me.

"I'm Toki Sudachi. Kisame calls me Koneko. I like sweet foods and the sound of rain. I dislike..." I paused. I didn't think it was smart to say I disliked killing to a Bloody Mist shinobi "...being sick" I finished lamely. "I want to become a better kunoichi".

Ao nodded "As I said, I am Ao. I am a jounin, and a sensor-nin" I also knew him to be a hunter-nin, but that was supposed to be a secret "You three are going to be listening to me from now on. Now get up. Show me what you're capable of".

"Hai sensei". The three of us had already figured out that it was in our best interest not to argue.

Both boys put on impressive displays.

I hoped I was at least a third of that.

After each of us displayed what we knew Ao nodded.

"Two water users and a lightning user. Plus, Kisame there holds a contract with sharks, unsurprisingly. Not bad" he nodded before giving a viciously cheerful grin. "You three best learn how to work together fast. Otherwise this teaching job is going to be a short one".

Well that's comforting.

* * *

**Mission 1**

"You are now officially Team Ao" this was my first time seeing the infamous Yagura. Much like in Konoha, missions involved direct conversation with the Kage. I had been apprehensive to say the least.

The Yondaime Mizukage was staring at us with a neutral expression, obviously finding us not that impressive at the moment.

I found myself glad.

I really didn't want to be attracting Tobito's attention.

"Your first C-rank" he put a scroll on his desk, pushing it towards us.

I swear, if it was to escort a bridge builder I was calling bullshit.

Yagura pulled out a map of Water Country before pointing to an island. "There is a small town here. It's having issues with a large crocodile. Go kill it".

I'm not sure that was much better than escorting bridge builders.

"Hai Yagura-sama" Ao bowed before taking the scroll and leading us out. "Go pack for six days. I expect for you three to be at the gate before I am" he informed us.

We promptly scattered.

_Day 1_

"I'm hungry~" Mangetsu complained for the who-knows-how-many-eth time this hour.

'Here!" I handed him a snack, something Mom had insisted I pack. I would gladly sacrifice it if it kept him quiet.

"Thank you my dear Toki-chan!" Mangetsu accepted the food. He then kissed my cheek.

I was too stunned to reply.

Kisame growled, moving towards Mangetsu, hand on his sword hilt. Ao stepped between them to stop the violence.

This didn't stop Kisame from snarling.

"I knew you liked me!" Mangetsu ignored this whole thing to wink at me before eating the food.

"Uh... as a friend, maybe?" I still didn't know Mangetsu well yet.

"Only a friend? I'll just have to work harder to win you over!"

I edged away. Wonder if this was how Sakura felt with Lee.

"One more word out of you, bastard, and I'm feeding you to my sharks" Kisame's knuckles were white from gripping his sword hilt so tightly.

"Teaching you three is going to be entertaining" was Ao's response.

_Day 2_

"Tree climbing and water-walking today" Ao ordered. "Since we're ahead of schedule".

"Hai, sensei".

Who knew, the Kekkei Genkai of Averageness was going to come in handy.

The tree climb was ridiculously easy. First try had me at the top.

Huh. For once I was good at something.

Ao moved me to water-walking while the other two of my team were still attempting to get up their trees.

Water-walking wasn't nearly as easy. I fell in twice.

Finally on my third try I remained on top of the water. Success!

Huh... the dispersion of chakra from this felt... weird to say the least.

I headed to shore, satisfied with my progress.

The other two were finally heading to the water to try their luck.

"Not bad, Koneko" Kisame nodded in approval.

"Ah, you have us beat, Toki-chan" Mangetsu grinned. "Congratulations" he attempted to kiss my cheek again.

I dodged and fully enjoyed smacking the back of his head for the attempt.

"Did I forget to warn you? Koneko has claws" Kisame remarked as he headed out onto the water.

_Day 3_

"This place is really pretty" I observed the lake that contained the crocodile.

"Not nearly as pretty as you, Toki-chan" Mangetsu chirped.

_Thwack!_ Kisame cuffed his head before I could.

"Pretty or not, our target is in there" Ao ignored our violence. "And it's going to stay there unless you three get over yourselves and work together". Our sensei sat, obviously not intending to help us.

I was beginning to think my genin team was more dysfunctional than the infamous Team 7.

Might as well attempt cooperation.

"We need to draw it out" I mused, turning to the lake. Crocodiles were less dangerous on land.

"And how do you suggest we do that, Koneko?" Kisame came to stand beside me.

"You and Mangetsu" I answered.

"I have to work with _him_?!" the shark gave me a whine of protest.

"Yes" I sighed. "Mangetsu... we need your help".

"Anything for the lovely lady" he sauntered up.

"Your clan can turn into water, right?" he nodded in answer. "Then I have the perfect job for you and Kisame".

"This I gotta hear" Mangetsu grinned.

"Oh Kami. Koneko, you have the same plotting expression as your mother" Kisame looked scared.

"Mangetsu can turn into water and you Kisame can use chakra sharks to find the crocodile. _**Don't **_attack each other. Instead, once you find the crocodile, attack it. Make it angry and draw it up to the surface. Then Kisame you can use the Colliding Wave to knock it out of the lake and unto land where all three of us can gang up on it".

"And you say you're bad at planning, Koneko" Kisame chuckled. He eyed Mangetsu. Then offered his hand. "Truce. For now".

"Alright" Mangetsu took it, shaking hands. "Let's go antagonize a croc".With that he turned into a puddle of water and slipped into the lake.

_Sometime later _

The crocodile finally lay dead.

The thing really was massive.

It had quite literally taken all three of us to finish off the beast.

Mangetsu trapped it in a Water Prison.

Kisame used this to use his chakra sharks again, wounding the thing, but it wouldn't die.

I moved. A quick touch to Mangetsu's Water Prison. "Hōryū Raika no Jutsu". The Prison lit up like a lightbulb. The crocodile was still stubbornly moving despite the electricity and the chakra-sharks tearing at it. Mangetsu even restricted the Prison to be as small as possible, allowing the croc no room to dodge and it was _still_ alive.

Jashin, I think Kakuzu or Hidan would go down easier than this thing.

I then launched my kusarigama into the Prison, managing to wrap the crocodile. "Raiton: Kangekiha" Lethal voltage in a more direct hit. Finally, _finally_ it was dead.

"You passed" Ao chuckled, standing "Now you really are a team".

"...Passed?"

"Yes. I wanted to test you with that crocodile. And you passed. I acknowledge you three as my students Now, I can teach you more than the basic tricks." our sensei chuckled again. "I hope you're ready, little genin. Because as a proud hunter-nin of the Bloody Mist I will not go easy on you".

The three of us stared at him.

Was it too late to start running?

* * *

_I have a debate in my mind. And I can't solve it. So here's a question for all of you._

_You all know that Toki has her Kekkei Genkai of Averageness (which is plot necessary actually)._

_I wanted to give her another ability. But my issue is this:_

_I __**really **__want to make Toki a sensor-nin. _

_But I also __**really **__like the suggestion I got for having her contracted to cats. _

_Which one do I do? Is both too much? _

_Help ._._

_**Next time**__- __"__Kisame... I'm bored"_

"_You sound like Mangetsu, Koneko"._

"_Damn it. It's not like it's my fault we're trapped! And __I'm still bored"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Ophy – Trust me when I say I have a lot of free time lately. So I'm writing as much as I can before I gotta go back to college. Because then updates will slow down significantly :( But I'm glad I made you laugh ^^_

_Arcami – Like my version of Mangetsu? I had way too much fun writing him. I snickered every time he came in._

_Julie – I'm glad you like it! I also thought it'd be cool to have someone tossed into a much less friendly Village. I'm glad Toki is likable. I'm doing my best to keep her from being a Mary-Sue. ^^_

_Shanny – You should see what I have written for the next chapter. It's nothing but shameless fluff. Curse you world building for getting in the way of my fluff!_

_Guest – Thank you!_

_Nikki – Here you go!_

_Little – And this is just the plot of the Chibi Arc. There are more to come! -mad scientist laughter-_

_Chocolate – The others of the Akatsuki do come in, just not for quite some time. _

_Life – Here ya go, an update :)_

_Surfs – Thank you! I do try to update as often as I can._

_Eien – And she's shamelessly copying more in this chapter. If I can work a meeting in and have it be believable I will. It would be great for laughs. Now you have that image in my head... that is very adorable and disturbing. She's currently trying to keep him away from Akatsuki. But we'll see how it goes._

_December – The graduation exam was such a pain to write, because I really didn't want her coming off as uber-powerful, but obviously I needed her to win. I love your suggestion, thus why the question up there about which one would work better._

_Anon – Ya got me. Everyone's plotting :3_

_Shado – Thank you :)_

_Naze – As mention up top, it's now there lurking on my profile. Thank you for the suggestion of doing it! I hope it helps ^^ Here you go, an update!_

_Atsirk – Thank you! I'm glad my story is squeal worthy :D _

_Mentally – Thank you! It was difficult to write, so I'm glad it turned out well_

_Music – I'm glad it was good. Here you go, another update :)_

_Elisa – I try. And I have a lot of free time at the moment. So, why not spend it writing this? It's a lot of fun._

_Shadow – Toki is doing her best to keep our beloved Shark out of the Akatsuki, so you'll most likely see the answer to that question ^^_

_Fire – Thanks! I'm glad you like them! :3_

_Guest – Thank you!_

_Yuuki – I swear Toki and Kisame's interactions write themselves. You should see what I have written for the next chapter. Getting trapped, Kisame vs Mangetsu, etc._

_Peaches – Here ya go :)_

_Ceres – Somehow, I find myself agreeing with you. Toki will be an old Baa-chan and she'll still be Koneko_

_125 – Toki is actually working against that_

_Kenegi – Huh? How does becoming a jinchuuriki solve anything?_

_Kyprioth – He probably is. And he didn't even go 'Tch' this time! Our chibi is growing up. Akira has been and always will be in evil fangirl plotting mode. Toki's basic strategy is actually just to pick off survivors. She's not happy about killing, but has accepted it. Honestly, not much escapes Kisame let alone Kisame+Mangetsu+Ao. Toki's currently a support fighter, distracting enemies and redirecting them. Which helps avoid the killing she doesn't like._

_Guest – Thank you! Here's an update for you :)_


	10. Genin Daze

_Thank you all for your input ^^ I'll tell you my plans on the bottom note._

_For now, enjoy and happy new year!_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning:** Shameless fluff

No Beta

* * *

**Mission 3**

We had an escort mission. Thankfully no bridge builders involved.

Instead, it was a small group of merchant returning from Kirigakure to one of the other towns on the islands.

"Toki-chan~" Mangetsu whined.

"What?"

"I'm bored~"

"So entertain yourself"

"OK~!" he pounced kissing my cheek.

"Mangetsu" came a lethally calm voice from Kisame.

"Yes, Shark-kun?"

"_**Run**_" Kisame lunged.

The sad thing was Ao and I were already used to this.

"Ten ryo on Kisame" I muttered as I watched the Shark chase down the laughing Mangetsu.

"Make it twenty, and you're on".

"Deal" I agreed, thinking Ao and Kakuzu would get along nicely.

* * *

**Mission 8**

"Those bandits we're after are up ahead. They're attempting to ambush us" Ao scoffed. "Amateurs".

"You know sensei, it's kinda creepy when you do that" Mangetsu commented.

"Seconded" Kisame and I chorused.

"Shut it you three" Ao scowled at us. "Now, I'm going to take this chance to start teaching you some of my skills. We'll starts with some hunter-nin basics".

"What exactly are we doing?" Kisame asked.

"We're refining your stealth. And ambushing the ambushers".Ao answered. "Observe".

_Sometime later_

"You three show some promise" our sensei nodded as he finished the last of the bandits.

"You sure it was allowed to teach us hunter-nin stuff?" Mangetsu rubbed the back of his head.

"I am your sensei. I decide what to teach you" Ao stated flatly "Besides, you're all still too loud. A fully trained hunter would have easy pickings going after any of you".

Geez, our sensei was really comforting...

* * *

**Mission 11**

"So... now we're stuck here" I stared at the blocked cave entrance.

"Yep" Kisame agreed.

There had been more bandits hiding in this cave.

I swear, Mist had sprouted bandits like weeds.

These had had the smarts to rig the entrance with explosive tags.

Ao and Mangetsu had gotten out to deal with the bandits.

However... Kisame and I however were stuck inside the cave. We couldn't risk jutsu for fear of bringing down the ceiling.

So, we had to wait for rescue.

I sighed, going to find a place to sit. The Shark walked over, sitting easily beside me.

_A few minutes later_

"Kisame... I'm bored"

"You sound like Mangetsu, Koneko".

"Damn it. It's not like it's my fault we're trapped! And I'm still bored".

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Tell me a story"

"A story? What story?"

"I don't care!"

"Alright. Then I'll tell you the story of _The Utterly Gutsy Ninja_".

_Later_

"They're taking forever" the Shark grumbled, having finished the story awhile ago.

"Seconded" I agreed.

_Still later_

"I wonder if they forgot us" I sighed.

"It's entirely possible".

"Damn it, Kisame. You're supposed to comfort me!"

He sighed, moving to hug me. "Better?"

"...Maybe"

"Then I'll just do this until you're happy again, Koneko".

_Getting later_

"Tired" I yawned.

"You can sleep, I'll keep an eye out for our slow companions" the Shark offered.

"Cave uncomfy" cue pouting.

Kisame gave an exasperated sigh, tugging me into his lap. He'd been growing like a weed, so I fit.

And the Shark wasn't even as large as he would be.

"Say a word and you're sleeping on the ground, like it or not".

I nodded and yawned, falling asleep. Kisame made a good pillow.

_Even later – 3__rd__Person POV_

It had taken until well past nightfall for Ao and Mangetsu to clear away the rocks blocking the cave.

Once that was finally done and they went in they saw a curious sight.

The small kunoichi of their team was cuddled in the lap of the already larger than her and still rapidly growing Shark.

Both were asleep.

"Guess they really are together" Ao mused.

"I already knew that sensei. You're so slow to figure that out just now" Mangetsu chuckled.

"But you're constantly..."

"I like antagonizing the Shark. It's good for him to have competition. Besides, she really is cute. Plus now I can brag about knowing something about his Koneko he doesn't know" the boy grinned, showing sharp teeth.

"What's that?"

"Toki-chan cuddles in her sleep. Come on, sensei, let's wake them up. I've got just the water-jutsu".

* * *

**Mission 20**

"Come on Toki-chan! Run!" Mangetsu laughed.

"What does it look like I'm doing?!" I protested as the wild boars chasing us gave an angry squeal.

There was the sudden whoosh of movement behind us as Ao and Kisame dropped down on the two pigs, killing them easily.

"Not nearly as bad as that crocodile" Kisame mused, retrieving his sword from the pig.

"Nothing is as bad as that crocodile" I retorted, flopping onto my back to pant.

"Aw~ Poor Toki-chan is winded" Mangetsu grinned, teasing me, even as he was panting himself.

"Quiet you" I snapped.

"Looks like you need to be revived so you're not cranky anymore" I didn't like the look on Mangetsu's face.

"The heck are you-"

He kissed me.

My first kiss in this lifetime.

"I'm not saving you this time Mangetsu" Ao stated simply.

"Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu" came a snarl.

Before I could move to wail on the white-haired boy, he was sent flying off me with a spray of water.

"Slow. _Painful_. _**Death**_" Kisame growled.

"No, Kisame. He's _mine_" I got up, reaching for some senbon.

The two boys blinked at me. Then the Shark chuckled darkly. "As you wish, Koneko".

"Ehe... you know I was just playing around, right Toki-chan?" Mangetsu started to edge away.

"Still not saving you" Ao reiterated. "And if I were you... I'd start running". I launched senbon at Mangetsu as the white-haired boy followed Ao's advice and started to hightail it away.

* * *

**Mission 27**

"I still can't believe he kissed you" Kisame grumbled, shifting through paper.

"Are you still going on about that? I already beat him for it awhile ago" I rolled my eyes, doing the same.

"Yes, but he _still_ flirts with you. Obviously you didn't hit him hard enough" the Shark retorted.

"Why are we even having this conversation?" I sighed.

"Because sensei and the bastard are following the guy we're background checking while we raid his things. And there's a lot of nothing here" he gestured to the stuff we'd gone through and meticulously replaced in original positions with a glare.

"I could be a female stick and Mangetsu would still flirt with me" I added "And you're right, there's nothing here. Let's go see if sensei and Mangetsu have found any reason to not let this guy move into Kirigakure".

"If his stuff is any clue, they haven't" the shark-nin grumbled as we replaced the papers and left, hitting the rooftops for faster travel.

Silence fell for a moment.

"I can hear you thinking, Kisame" I nudged him as we went from roof to roof.

"Koneko... I don't care for the bastard flirting with you" he was speaking like I was attempting to pull his teeth.

"So I've noticed from your habit of hitting him" I snickered. "It's not like I like it either. That's just how Mangetsu is".

"I know..."

"If it makes you feel better, I certainly didn't picture my first kiss being with Snowy of all people". Then again, I hadn't pictured him being on my genin team either.

"Hmph" Kisame didn't seem particularly comforted.

"Stop being so adorable when you're pouting. It's not fair" I complained.

He gave me a glare for calling him adorable.

"Aw come on Kisame! Cheer up!" I made us stop and hugged him. He gave a grumble.

"Please?" I gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek.

Kisame's cheeks turned an interesting purple color as he gaped at me. "I- I- fine".

"Thank you" I smiled before leaping off again.

* * *

**Mission 34 – Kisame POV**

He didn't like this.

Sitting here waiting to ambush yet more bandits was giving him too much time to think.

Koneko was there beside him, but as his thoughts were on her, she wasn't helping.

At eleven now, he knew he was beginning the change from child to adult, reinforced by the fact he was rapidly growing.

As such, his Koneko held much more of his interest than she previously had.

She was slowly hitting the change to adult as well. Not quite there, but close enough.

Still, this level of fixation was abnormal.

He blamed her slightly. It had started when she'd kissed his cheek.

And his desire to kill Mangetsu every time he got close to Koneko had subsequently shot through the roof.

Thinking back on how the white-haired male had kissed her made him viciously angry, especially now.

Though thinking Koneko deliver that beating to Mangetsu still made him smile.

He adored his Koneko's claws. He was glad he staked his claim long ago.

And _he_ was the only one she said those certain words to.

Still, Mangetsu shouldn't have dared to begin with.

Damn it. He needed to focus.

He made peace with his inner shark, intending to circle his prey for now.

Koneko was _his_.

He would just have to make his claim more obvious.

Somehow.

* * *

**Mission 41**

"You alright, Kisame?" getting rid of rabid animals gave them a lot of time to talk.

"None of your business, Mangetsu".

"You've been a testy Shark lately" Mangetsu pouted at him.

"I still fail to see how that's your concern".

"The fact you've been constantly irritated says otherwise".

Kisame ignored him.

"You know, if you're still upset about that incident, I was just kidding around. And Toki-chan did give me a nasty beat down".

"..."

"You could always kiss her yourself".

"What?!"

"Just a suggestion".

"Personally I think he has a point" Ao joined in.

"WHAT?!"

"You're acting very skittish for a Shark" their sensei continued. "Your supposed kitten is always the one initiating touch".

"So?" Kisame growled.

"You have to wonder if she's not really a cat and you're actually just a fish" he smirked.

"...Why do I feel like you people are talking about me?" I came up, having dealt with my set of animals.

"Just about how adorable you are Toki-chan~!" Mangetsu smiled.

I sighed, not having the energy to hit him for it.

* * *

**Mission 45**** – ****Kisame POV**

He didn't like admitting it, but the suggestion was stuck in his head.

He really should be focusing on escorting this merchant.

But he couldn't stop it.

It might solve this fixation.

But these missions were nonstop lately.

It was not his idea of... a nice situation.

But beggars couldn't be choosers.

Not here though.

That merchant had a horrid smell and he didn't like the looks in their eyes.

Later perhaps.

His inner shark tightened its circling.

Yes.

Later.

* * *

**Mission 50**

"You know. I hate escort missions" I grumbled as we headed back to Mist.

"Especially idiots like that" Ao seconded. The man we'd escorted to his home had been a major moron.

We'd been dragged through some severe brambles and all four of us were scratched up.

"Come on. Mist is just over there. Let's go back and never speak of it again" Ao picked up his pace.

Mangetsu followed after him, still picking thorns out of his clothes.

"Koneko" a hand stopped me.

"Huh? What is it Kisame?"

"... You have a branch. Hold still" he reached to pull a twig from my hair.

"Oh, thank you" I smiled at him.

"No problem" his gaze flicked down.

I turned to continue towards Kiri.

"..." Kisame was silent.

There was a moment of quiet as we walked.

"...Toki" he spoke again, catching me.

"Wha-?" I was cut off with a motion.

My mind froze.

Kisame...

kissing...

...me?

He drew back. "Come on Koneko. Let's go get clean".

I attempted a response. It was something like "dtnhg".

Kisame chuckled, with a smug look on his face, tugging me back towards Mist.

… What just happened?

* * *

_Shorter chapter than usual, but I hoped you enjoyed it!_

_**Next time - **__"__Chuunin exams? __**Now**__?!"_

_So, I got a lot of mixed opinions on what I should I do with Toki._

_Please note: This idea needs some editing and is not final. I did my best to make something that would not be OP_

_I intend to do a combination of suggestions. Toki by herself won't be a sensor-nin._

_But. Contractors tend to gain something from their summons._

_So my plan is this – Toki will gain access to the Cat contract. Being contracted to cats gives a person sensitivity to emotion. That's right. Not chakra, emotion. The draw back is to this is that while they can sense an emotion they can't sense reasoning. i.e. justified anger and anger at nothing would both simply register as anger. Thus using this sense attempting to gain information is faulty at best. It is also short-to mid range only. Maximum would probably be about 5, __**maybe**__seven feet. It will have to be trained to be remotely useful_

_The cats will be specialized in espionage and assassination. They will also be mixed, small house cats for pure spy work while black leopards are the larger cats used for assassination. Undecided on boss cat._

_Cats are antisocial creatures,so Toki is going to have to work to get anything out of them. _

_Hope this keeps her from Mary-Sue syndrome and I don't drive people away :/_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Shanny – Thanks for the input!_

_Creepy – Thank you very much :3_

_Kenegi – Interesting suggestion, I'll have to keep the bio-electric thing in mind ^^_

_Saski – Thanks for trying to help though! :)_

_Scooby – Thank you for your input ^^_

_Music – I took part of your suggestion, as that made sense. Thank you! :3_

_Kasai – The emotion does help pinpoint location, so yep. Amazing hide and seeker xD_

_Arcami – I'm glad you like him ^^ Thank you for your suggestion! I was always planing for Kisame to defect, and for the people of Akatsuki to come in. Toki's currently attempting to keep Kisame out of the Akatuki, but that doesn't mean you won't be seeing them._

_Julie – Thank you ^^ Ao is more of the 'you're all idiots' sensei right now. But at the same time, he tries to help. In a roundabout way. And you're right, I don't want her overpowered, but she shouldn't be a burden either. Thank you ^^_

_Bloody – The whole cats hate water thing and Kisame being Kisame I fully intent to use to the full extent for laughs. Mixed cats for the summoning. I hope I added enough drawbacks to the cats to make them not OP :/_

_Freedom – That's what I'm attempting. It's a fine line to write -.-;_

_Guest – Thanks for the input :)_

_Cat – Thank you for the complement! Hope I do the cats justice_

_BloodyOrchid – An interaction with Kakashi would be hilarious. I can hear the hissing now xD_

_Eien – I like your suggestion. I incorporated the larger cats into my decision. I am unsure how I'd go about injuring a chakra system though, so I did a bit of editing and hoped it made sense._

_Wayward – Ao is amazing ^^ I unfortunately don't know how Mangetsu died. Neither does Toki. While she likes him well enough to want to prevent it, she doesn't know what, when, or where. It'll most likely happen after Kisame get Samehada though._

_Ryn – I hope this pacing is good. No contract yet, and going to have to befriend her summons and earn their respect before they do squat. The emotion thing I've never seen done before, and I know cats/dogs are hyper sensitive to emotion, but the dog contractors get smelling/hearing. So thus, cats get close-range emotion. This will also have to be trained to be remotely useful. I can only hope people don't hate it._

_Tsubaki – Thank you! I hope you continue to like it ^^_

_Atsirk – Hope you like my decision ^^;_

_Quil – Thank you :) Here's an update for you_

_Shadow – I sadly think that being a jinchuuriki would be too Mary-Sue and I'm desperately trying to keep Toki from being one. I don't know if I'm succeeding as is. Thank you for your input though!_

_Fire – Thank you! Mangetsu is so fun to write. Ao to with his crankyness xD_

_Yo – I don't think I'll be giving Toki a sword. It's aleady been mentioned she's not that great at kenjutsu, and to be a Seven Swordsmen, you NEED kenjutsu. Thank you though!_

_Little – I used the combination suggestion in my decision. It just made sense to me. Thanks! :3_

_Yuuki – I went with a different gained ability entirely :D But thank you! Hopefully the restrictions and the time needed for it and the cats keeps it from being OP_

_Guest – Many thanks ^^_

_Kyprioth – I like your breed suggestion ^^ Thus why the larger assassin cats are black leopards. I agree with you on the too much at once. Poor Toki would fall over from that much extra stuff. That's why I put extreme restrictions on both the contract and the gained ability. I just hope it works._

_Scarlet – Thanks for the idea! Here's an update for you!_

_December – Both seems to be the general consensus, so I'm doing a variation on it. _

_Guest – It'll actually go in reverse order, but I assure you, it'll be spaced._

_Nightingale – Thank you! I fully intend on continuing this until its done_

_Ochibi – Thank you! I used you suggestion of having to work for the favor/trust for the cats to listen to her. Hopefully that keeps the contract from being too OP and her from being a Mary-Sue. Thanks for the idea!_

_Dear – Kisame will never live anything down. Ever. XD You didn't like Kisame D8 The horror! He is a very sexy shark when he grows up (oh the laughs that will be had once he starts looking older)-evil smile- I promise though, even as adults, the fluff continues. The Shark has a soft spot for his Koneko._

_Guest – Thank you! Here's an update!_

_Fiction – Thanks! :)_

_Wind – The cats will not enjoy water, yes. But I intend to use that for comedic relief. Plus, this story isn't __**entirely**__in Mist. The Chibi Arc is, but that's winding down_

_White – Hehe, Akira is so fun to write. She says it a lot, usually in a playful way. The post exam one was more serious though. The averageness isn't so much plot as Toki complaining. I think the solution I offered will keep the relative averageness especially considering that she's with a future S-rank ninja_

_TheOne – I fully intend on the cats and Kisame providing very funny moments xD_

_Guest – Here you go!_

_Guest – I hope my solution works_

_Kage – Thank you! I do my best :3_

_Anima – I hope my solution keeps the Mary-Sue syndrome away. -shudders- I don't recall Uchihas having cats. Itachi had crows and Sasuke had snakes and hawks o.o I'm unsure of Akatsuki though. Toki is currently working to prevent Kisame going there. But if he does, she'll follow, always intending to drag his butt back out of it._

_Minxx – Enjoy my fluffy chapter then xD_

_Ketsuko – Thank you! I hope my solutions appeases most people._

_Ceres – I'm not sure Toki would enjoy being a thundercat xD Even if she is lightning natured. I hope my solution is decent though._


	11. More Exams? Oh Joy

_I thank you all again numerous times for the attention this story has gotten_

_I even have fan art! (much to my amazement) I put links to them with Toki's description on my profile_

_Numerous thanks again for the unexpected gifts! ;~;_

_As a sign of my thanks, another chapter!_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

I didn't want to do it. But I needed to talk to someone.

So, once again, I went to my mother, attempting to have her make sense of this situation.

"He... what?" Mom blinked.

"Kisame kissed me Okaa-san" I reiterated.

"Kyaa~! So cute! My little girl's first kiss!"

Well, not technically... but this was beside the point.

And was that celebratory dance she was doing really necessary?

"Okaa-san! You're supposed to make me less confused, not more" I grumbled.

"What's to be confused about, Toki-chan?" my mother was practically pouting at me.

"The reason he did it, why me-" I started counting on my fingers.

"Toki. Shush".

When your mother uses your proper name, you obey.

I shut up.

"Toki-chan, the answer to your question is really obvious. But I'm afraid I can't tell you. You're going going to have to figure it out yourself" Mom sighed.

"Hai Okaa-san" I reluctantly agreed.

* * *

"Well, my little genin. I have a surprise for you" Ao had us sitting on the training grounds.

We all winced in preparation.

Ao and the word surprise never meant anything good for us.

Surprise for Ao could mean anything from another hunter-nin training lesson to getting told we we going on a weeks long C-rank.

"Stop making those face and look" Ao held out papers.

"Sensei, what gives? What are those for?" Mangetsu glared at the papers suspiciously.

"These, little genin, are the sign up sheets for the upcoming chuunin exams" he answered, handing them over to us.

"Chuunin exams? _**Now**_?!" I couldn't help my shock.

I'd always known with Kisame be a jounin before Yagura's reign ended. And Yagura was only Mizukage six years before the revolt. If I did my calculations right, we were somewhere in year four, depending on what day I considered the beginning of Yagura's years. Either meant Kisame's time as a genin and chuunin had been short.

I'd just never translated that over to myself.

"Yes, Toki. Now. Or rather in a few weeks" sensei gave me a calm stare.

"Where are they?" the Shark beside me decided to speak.

"The exams are in Kumogakure" Ao stated then explained "As you know, due to the nations attempting to improve relations due to the Shinobi Wars, the exams change place each year".

"Kumo? That's ridiculously far away" Mangetsu whined.

"Which is why we're leaving tomorrow, if you choose to take the exams. You have the rest of today decide" Ao vanished with a shunsin.

"Well I'm game!" Mangetsu spoke almost the instant Ao was gone. "Being a chuunin will mean more time for me to master the swords! I've already got three down, I just need the last four".

"Tch. Showoff. I prefer to master my blade first then move to claim Samehada when shishou decides to step down" Kisame grumbled "After all, you can only wield one or two swords at the same time"

Or when you find out he's selling secrets, but its best not to mention that.

"Whatever, fishy. What about the exams? You in?" Mangetsu rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, while this... chaos has been fun, I would like more time to train with my shishou as well. Being a chuunin will allow that" Kisame nodded. "What about you, Koneko?"

"Yeah, Toki-chan! What do you think?"

If this was anything like the chuunin exams in Konoha, I knew the team was disqualified before entry if all three members didn't go.

I couldn't delay this progression or Kisame might miss getting Samehada.

"Why not?" I grinned "Gotta keep you two from killing each other anyway".

And time to figure out what exactly was going on with this strange behavior from Kisame.

* * *

**Interlude – Kisame POV**

He could almost sense his Koneko's hesitation.

But she didn't smell like a lie when she told them her decision.

There was something she wasn't telling him.

She didn't usually keep things from him. He even knew about her kekkei genkai.

Perhaps he'd been a bit hasty earlier?

That might be the reason.

His Koneko had claws, but she was still a bit skittish.

He would have to work on that.

He'd talk to her.

And be patient.

Sharks could be _very_ patient predators.

He'd be sure to win his Koneko over, slowly if he must. Convince her that this change was good.

It was best to figure out what was bothering her now though.

And he knew just how to do it.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Koneko, let' go get dango. I know you're an addict for the stuff" Kisame offered.

"...Alright" I nodded. I refused to let things get awkward between us.

"Have fun love birds!" Mangetsu waved us off, laughing.

Kisame growled, all but dragging me away.

A few moments later we were back in Mist, heading for my favorite sweet shop.

"Two please" came the irritated grumble of the Shark. Most people would've avoided Kisame with that stormy look on his face.

"The usual for you?" the shopkeeper laughed. She was far too used to us coming in here to be bothered by Kisame's mood.

"Hai, Nanaka-san" I smiled.

She nodded, going to get our order. A few moments later, she'd returned.

"I got it, Koneko" Kisame said when I reached to pay for mine.

"Thanks" I knew better than to argue. Kisame was wanting to talk about something. I could sense it.

We went to sit on a bench outside the shop. For a awhile we quietly ate, just watching the mist and people in the street.

"You don't really want to take the chuunin exams, do you?" came the sudden question.

"I'm worried about them" I responded. "I don't know if I'm ready for them".

"Then why didn't you say that earlier?" the Shark glared at me.

"Because if I don't go, you two can't. And I refuse to hold you guys back" I sighed.

"You're not changing your mind are you?" Kisame asked.

"No. And nothing you do will either" I glared.

"Very well, Koneko. But, there's something that you're wrong about" he grinned.

"What's that?" I narrowed my eyes.

"You are ready. Your claws are nice and sharp now. We just need to work on confidence" he answered, chuckling.

"But... what if I fail?" Get myself killed. Or worse get him or Mangetsu killed.

"You won't" Kisame stated.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because you're my Koneko," he answered. Then he smirked "And I haven't managed to win you over yet".

With that he left.

What the hell was _that_ supposed to mean?!

* * *

It was early the next day and all three of us were gathered at the gate, waiting on Ao. I had told my parents goodbye last night, so there was nothing to stop me from going except myself.

"All three of you, hm? Good. Let's get going. Even at this team's top speed Kumo is several days away" Ao appeared before leaping off. We quickly followed after him.

"I know nothing about what Kumo has planned for these exams. So therefore, I cannot warn you about what to expect" Ao told us as we traveled.

"What were your exams like, sensei?" I asked.

"Mine were in Suna" Ao answered. "In the first part, my team had to identify what poisons were in various bottles and tell what the antidote was. The second test was retrieving a scroll from the Kazekage's office without getting spotted by ANBU. Being seen meant instant failure. The last round were randomized sparring matches. Anything was allowed, including killing your opponent".

Guess the spars were a common factor amongst chuunin exams since Konoha would have that as well.

Which probably meant that sort of thing would happen in Kumo too.

Jashin damn my luck.

"Will the other Villages participate? Or is it just us and Kumo?" Mangetsu tilted his head.

"All the Villages have been invited. It'll just be a matter of who shows up" Ao answered.

Wonderful.

Wonder who else was a genin around this time period.

I didn't think the kyuubi attack had occurred yet.

So I guessed either Sarutobi or Minato were Hokage.

Who'd need promoting to chuunin during this time period?

Probably many of the characters from canon that were jounin at the series beginning.

Who were all exceedingly skilled.

Plus multiple unknowns from who-knows where.

Wasn't this just a cup of rainbows and sunshine?

* * *

The road to Kumo was a long one. And Ao set a fast pace.

"We'll train when we get to Cloud. So we need to get there as quickly as we can" he explained "Training there will hopefully reduce the home-field advantage the Kumo-nin will have over you three".

"How long do you think we'll have?" Kisame asked.

"At this pace, we'll reach Kumo about two weeks before the exams. You'll have those days to get used to Kumo's terrain" Ao answered "But don't get over confident. The Kumo-nin have trained on their uneven terrain for their entire lives". He chuckled "However there is one advantage they won't have over you".

"What's that?" we chorused.

"The cloud cover. It'll help confuse most of the other participants from other Villages. But not you three. There's little difference between their clouds and our Mist".

At least we had that going for us.

"Be sure not to hesitate in using the cover to your advantage. The Kumo-nin certainly won't" Ao instructed.

We all just nodded, knowing he was right.

* * *

"Toll" a grumpy guard glared at us.

Apparently the roads through the mountains to Kumo were toll roads.

"You have got to be kidding me" Ao glared.

Yep, he and Kakuzu would've been great friends. Misers both of them.

"No. You want to use the road? You gotta pay" the guard drawled. "Ninja or not".

"How much?" sensei looked like he was having issues restraining himself from killing the man. But we had to behave ourselves since we weren't in Water country anymore.

"A hundred ryo. Each" the guard answered.

"_What_?" Ao growled. Suddenly sensei gave a sinister smile. The charming sort of smile that made me want to run as fast as I could in the other direction. "I'm sorry. I seem to have misheard you. Would you repeat the toll please?"

Ao was practically dripping with killer intent. He felt positively lethal, ready to use the most painful attacks he knew. And since he was a hunter-nin I suspected he knew many exceedingly painful ways of killing someone.

"Um..." the guard, though trained, was having issues standing up against our sensei's killer intent.

"What was the toll again?" sensei asked in a disarmingly pleasant way.

"A... hundred ryo... all together..." the guard made it significantly less.

"I thought that's what you said" Ao nodded, killer intent vanishing as he handed over the money. "Come on you three, Kumo is still some distance away".

"Ao-sensei, have we mentioned how utterly terrifying you are sometimes?" Mangetsu quipped as we headed down the road, leaving the poor shaking guard.

"I'm pretty sure he could scare a biju" Kisame muttered.

"That guard is probably scarred for life" I added.

"When you reach my age, you learn a trick or two" Ao replied dismissively.

"You've got to teach us that sometime then" Mangetsu laughed.

"I almost forgot that you three were a bunch of brats" sensei rolled his eyes.

* * *

There was a giant set of stone stairs. And finally we saw Kumo. Or what little of it we could see due to the cloud cover.

Huh, it really was similar to Kiri's natural mist.

"The gates of Kumogakure" Ao nodded to them.

"Good. I'm getting tired of Mangetsu's whining" Kisame growled.

"S-stairs..." Mangetsu panted with a whine, as if on cue.

I couldn't help my laugh, despite panting myself. That really had been a long set of stairs.

"Let's go" Ao ignored us all, heading for Cloud.

"Business?" the chuunin gate guards stared at our hitai-ate.

"My squad is here for the chuunin exams" Ao responded evenly.

"Papers?" sensei showed them. "You may enter. This is the map to your accommodations while in Kumo" the chuunin handed over a paper which Ao took with a nod.

And so we entered Kumogakure.

I wondered if Killer B was alive yet.

"Ya best believe I'll beat the rest, Bee's going to pass the chuunin test!"

Well that answers that question.

Chibi-B was there in the market of Kumo, talking or rather rapping to shinobi I didn't recognize.

So that meant a younger A was Raikage.

"Wonder if he talks like that all the time" Mangetsu mused.

"I honestly would rather not know" the Shark retorted.

"I bet you he does" I snickered. Chibi-B looked older than us, but only slightly. Maybe a year or two on Kisame. "The rhymes are too practiced"

That explained him taking the exams.

I hoped I wouldn't have to fight him. Who knows what B was capable of, even at this age. I was fairly sure he was already jinchuuriki of the eight-tails, Gyūki.

This would give him a massive amount of chakra even if he and the hachibi weren't friendly yet.

Definitely didn't want to be facing off against B.

Chibi-B had apparently heard us talking about him. He grinned "Seems Mist girl likes my rhymes! I'll be sure to offer them all the time!"

"Er... it's really alright. Thanks for the offer. We should get going" I edged away, attempting escape.

"Leave Koneko alone" Kisame growled. "She doesn't want anything to do with your nonsense".

"Toki-chan is really too nice for her own good" Mangetsu laughed.

"Don't listen to the Shark, to be friends would not be off the mark" B grinned widely offering his fist.

Dang you B. Curse you for being one of my favorite characters. I couldn't resist. I cautiously moved over to bump fists with the young rapper.

"The hell are you doing, Koneko?" Kisame growled.

"He seems cool" I felt like my reasoning was lame.

"Yeah, B is cool, ya Shark fool!" came the rapping retort "Cloud and Mist, we'll be sure to make the chuunin list!"

"I'm dragging you before this gets any worse" the Shark tugged me away.

"Well, that was entertaining" Ao chuckled as we continued towards where we'd be staying.

"Toki-chan makes the strangest friends" Mangetsu snickered too.

* * *

"Here we are. Make yourselves comfortable" Ao motioned to the rooms of a hotel we'd been given for our stay. "Tomorrow we start your training".

Mangetsu gave a groan moving to instantly flop onto one of the beds.

"You need to be more cautious, Koneko" Kisame grouched at me "We don't know anything about anyone from here. We shouldn't be making friends. Let alone with some guy who's constantly rapping".

"You're just jealous and overly possessive" came Mangetsu's muffled comment.

"Say that to my face, Snowy" he snarled.

"Kisame, easy" I soothed "B really did seem like a nice person"

"Still..." the Shark grumbled.

"I'll be more careful" I promised.

"That's all I can ask" he sighed in reluctant acceptance. "I still don't like that rapping idiot though".

"I'm sure he's not bad, if you get to know him" I was steadfastly ignoring the future fight that would occur if I was unsuccessful in changing Kisame's fate.

* * *

_Chibi-B is also ridiculously adorable. Can has?_

_**Next time**__- "This is the first part of your chuunin exams. Good luck"_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Arcami – Now he just has to convince Toki change is a good thing. Poor Shark xD A nekomata wouldn't be a bad idea, thanks for the suggestion. Here's one recognizable character for the chuunin exams. You'll be seeing a few more -evil smile-_

_Kasai – Don't worry. My drawing skills suck so much my stick people are bad. You'll see more entries next chapter, this one was more travel than anything else. As for your other question, you have to wait and see :3 Hehe, loving the nickname, even if it is a mouthful_

_Fire – I consider Kisame getting Samehada and the end result of his encounter with Tobito to be the Chibi Arc end. So... three to five more chapters approximately. After that I think I'll do a time skip into Canon, which will have its own plot and chaos (as Kisame wasn't an important character during PTS years) unsure of how many chapters there, then another time skip into Shippuden where all hell breaks loose. I don't plan on ending this until after the conclusion of the Fourth Shinobi War, which is awhile away. You might even get an epilogue if you're lucky :P_

_Gun – Thank you ^^ I'm glad you like it_

_White – yeah you have an inner shipper! Success! And that's the idea. They won't be easily won over, but Toki is persistent. And my mental image of the interactions between Kisame and the Cats makes me snicker. You'll have to wait for the Contract to come into play to see. Toki probbly won't acquire it until this tale hits Canon though._

_Music – I'm glad. Avoiding Mary-Sueism is highly difficult when your character has to keep up with freaking S-class ninja. Darn you adorable Shark_

_Nazebaka – Thank you so much ;~; I'm glad you enjoy it. Here's an update, as per request :D_

_Wind – What are we going to do tonight Brain? Same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the World! I'm glad I made you giggle :) I can't wait for Canon years so I can have all the fun of hormones and realizing your best friend is actually really attractive xD I've seen other Kisame stories having a sort of inner shark with him, and I thought it fit, so I gave my version one as well. It just seems to suit him._

_Shadowelf - -glomped- Hehe, I'm glad you like it ^^_

_Yuuki – Don't die D: should I reduce the fluffiness overload? Yes, he's once again staked his claim, although now realizing he's gotta convince Koneko change is a good thing. Poor poor Shark. This is most like during the Third War, though before Mist turns Rin into a jinchuuriki. I'm taking the route of guessing Mist doesn't give a crap about the War right now, and neither does Kumo. They'll get dragged into it eventually but they're currently content to watch Iwa and Konoha kill each other. _

_Ryouka – I'm terribly sorry, I speak very little Spanish, but I think I understand the gist of your review. Thank you for the complement and for the story suggestions ^^_

_Mentally – Thanks! And just Shadow, or Numera, or whatever other nickname you want's fine ^^;_

_Ajisai – Will do :) And ooooh... I like that suggestion for the cats. Would make the more diverse. Thank you ^^ And beware the raging hormones of a determined Shark! That sort of Omake would be utterly hilarious xD I should do that in few chapters once Toki's a smidgenolder_

_Bloody – Thank you, I fixed it -.-; Chuunin exams are coming, Third Shinobi War is in effect, but Mist and Kumo at least don't give a crap at this particular moment. Thank you for the ideas :)_

_Ketsuko – Thank you :3 Why do people doubt the awesome that is Kisame? D: But I'm glad I changed your mind! Come to the dark side. We have cookies. Mangetsu is really fun to wright. A flirt who tend to blurt things out or be a snark. Makes me giggle every time he comes in xD Yes, become a Shark fan! Kisame is fan deprived. Here's an update to celebrate your conversion ^^_

_Julie – I'm glad you liked the fluff. Thank you for the idea :3 I don't know about the Mizukage thing. There's a lot of plot that takes place outside Mist. But I'll keep that in mind as a reserve thing for possibly much later in this tale ^^_

_TheOne – Yep. She'll meet more members. One for certain. You can't have a Shark without a Weasel ;) (though you won't be seeing him for awhile yet) Possibly others._

_December – I was hoping one kiss in ten chapters wasn't fast :/ Shark still has to convince Koneko that change is a good thing. Toki and Kisame have a limited time left in Most, I don't know if I can make her ANBU that fast without being OP_

_Phalanx – Thanks for the suggestion ^^_

_Anima – I feel like putting Toki with the Akatsuki would be a bit Mary-Sue though, don't you think?_

_Atsirk – Complete and utter meltdown, yes xD_

_Ochibi – Thank you for the complement ;~; And you all are taking the time to review, so I feel like I should respond in kind ^^ There is more shameless shipping to come. The Shark is determined_

_Scarlet – Thanks! :D Have an update_

_Kyrioth – Thank you for the idea! It made a lot of sense. I did attempt at incorporating it here, but I think I need more practice with NPCs -.-; _

_Ceres – That would've been utterly hilarious xD Maybe next time Kisame attempts to make a move... He'll be a very angry Shark_

_Rose – Thank you :3_

_Fan – Apparently I am evil enough to stop it there :P Here, have an update_

_Jo-jo – Well he's blue. And a typical blush is red. Blue and red makes purple xD Okaa-san had a fangirl squeal moment before thinking her daughter was the most oblivious person ever_

_Inseparable – Thank you! Here's another chapter for you ^^_

_Random (x10) – I'm going to do my best to reply to all your reviews at once. Thank you for reviewing so much :) I actually never took that sort of quiz. I just really do have crappy luck, so if I was reborn, it's be my luck to be reborn into Mist. Toki's more lamenting over how awesome the major characters of Naruto are and how... not awesome her abilities are in comparison. Yeah, Kisame is a bit rough as friends go, but he's loyal. Plus, I would so actually play with his hair. It's impossible not to. Yeah, I need to work on my world building I know -.-; And remember Toki is far older than she appears, at lest mentally. Even without that, shinobi children have to grow up much faster than normal kids. That's my reasoning for them being so articulate. ^^; I know, it amazes me that nobody though about the consequences of those exams too. And Zabuza is a major brat. Even with Haku around, Zabuza was not nice. I do know the ones you mean and I feel sorry for them too. Yay for long range lightning :D Hana was there, Toki was just not ever attached to her. I'd say she was taken down by some other random classmate. Senbon plus kusarigama is Kohaku? Yes. Kurenai and Gai deserve a medal of some sort for pulling off the impossible. Yeah, Toki's adjusted to her new life. Though she knows she's technically older she thinks of herself as being ten. The future knowledge comes more into play later, I swear -.-; Long reply is long. And your username makes me think of Megamind xD "And I love you random citizen!"_

_Flutter – Thank you! ^^ Someone order an update?_

_Lala – Thanks for the input :)_

_Pink – Here ya go ^^_

_Draconis – Thank you ^^ I've actually been considering it... It's just that joining the Akatsuki seems so Mary-Sue and I'm doing my best to avoid it. Technically the plot I have for later years could work both in and outside of the Akatsuki, but I don't know... I was intending on introducing the Weasel either way. Shark is not complete without Weasel._

_Ophy – Hehe glad you enjoyed it xD I might have like the elder sage cat be fluffy and lazy and have Toki wondering why the heck she can summon something so not useful_


	12. Hide and Seek With ANBU

_And so we arrive at the first part of the chuunin exams! Dun dun dun!_

_Thank you all again for the attention you have given this story ;~;_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

"Ow" I muttered, rubbing my new bruise. Navigating Kumo's terrain was proving very difficult. My team had been at this for a few days and none of us seemed to quite grasp how to move around without encountering a rock. The training fields that were open to us were full of them.

"I second that statement" Mangetsu rubbed his head.

"Same here" Kisame winced as he moved.

Ao was off doing who-knows-what. Our sensei was content to let us figure out the terrain for ourselves. According to him, we'd learn faster if the reprimand for doing it wrong was getting nasty bruises.

"How do Kumo-nin do anything in... this?" Mangetsu gestured to the rocks popping up here and there on the training field.

"Rocks in ya way? B's here to save the day" the rapper grinned at us, appearing on top of the rocks, balancing easily.

"Not him again" Kisame groaned.

"Help not snark, is what ya be needing ya fool Shark" B's grin only got wider.

'Why are you trying to help us?" Mangetsu asked. Then he gave a wise smirk "Are you attempting to win over Toki-chan by doing this?"

"Toki's her name? But no, B's not doing this for fame" he shook his head.

"Then what's the catch?" Kisame growled at him "There's always a catch".

"Is it so hard to believe, that B wants to make friends before ya leave?" he pouted.

The cuteness meter went on overload.

"It's not like we're figuring this out by ourselves" I pointed out. "I say we let the awesome person help us".

Mangetsu thought a moment. "Eh. Toki-chan, you're too cute to argue with. I second that. Plus, I'm tired of getting beat by these rocks".

"Ya, I wouldn't want to be ya, and our rocks aren't near as bad as Iwa" B chuckled.

Kisame bared his teeth in irritation. "Alright. You win. But if I so much as think you're lying..." his eyes suddenly got a predatory gleam "You will regret letting me know your face".

"B's not here to mock. Now here's how ya move through and across the rock".

* * *

Thanks to B, we were finally able to move through Kumo's training fields without turning black and blue in the process.

The rapper still showed up as we trained, often joining us. It hadn't taken him long to win over Mangetsu, who had even occasionally joined him in a tag-team rap. Kisame... tolerated B. He wasn't as aggressive as before, but he still wasn't exactly friendly.

Sometimes B would drag us off to tour around Kumo. That way we'd be able to get around and not get ourselves lost.

The days of practice ran out. It was time to see what Kumo had planned for the chuunin exams.

The announcement was in a large public square where all those taking the exams were to gather.

I'd be able to see if there was anyone else I recognized in the perspective chuunins.

"Yosh! Let the youthful exams begin!"

Dear Jashin, please no.

I looked, and sure enough... there in his spandex glory with his genin team was Konoha's original Beautiful Green Beast.

Might Guy. Taijutsu master. Looking about a year younger than myself, so nine.

Please oh _please_ don't make me face off against him.

"Guy, calm down. I'm sure they'll start soon" this level voice came from one of the numerous shinobi I was copying. Genma, senbon wielder. Even now as a genin, he had his senbon in his mouth, and looked to be eleven like Kisame "Why don't we look for cute girls while we wait?"

I was fairly sure he'd kick my butt too.

"Behave you two" this female reprimand had easy authority to it. Kurenai, genjutsu mistress. Looked like she was the same age as Guy.

I _knew_ she'd kick my ass.

A highly dangerous genin team... and the only one from Konoha.

"I'm surprised they came. Isn't Konoha waging a war with Iwa right now?" Mangetsu muttered.

"I bet it's not enough, to keep them from this chuunin stuff" came a familiar voice. B grinned at us, coming over to bump fists in greeting.

I didn't recognize either of B's team mates.

"Quiet" a single commanding order as A, the Raikage himself took the stage."It's time you found out what you'll be doing for your exams".

Absolute silence fell. You don't argue with the Raikage.

A held up a scroll. "There are several of these scattered around Kumo. You are to find them and bring them to your respective teachers without getting caught by ANBU. Your teachers will all be waiting here". He held up a second scroll "There are also a few of these. Useless. Those who bring one of these in fail the exam. You get seen by ANBU, you fail".

So we had to sneak around Kumo looking for nearly identical scrolls, identify if it was valuable and bring it back to Ao without getting seen by ANBU.

Absolutely wonderful.

"This is the first part of your chuunin exams. Good luck".

All the various genin teams scattered.

* * *

"If we were Kumo-nin, where would we put the scroll?" Mangetsu murmured softly. We'd found a small hiding spot to attempt discussing a plan.

"Library?" Kisame offered "It's ironic enough. Someone might have found it funny".

"Worth a shot" I nodded "Second guess, in case we're wrong?"

"The area near the square. No one would normally think to look so close to the starting area" Mangetsu offered.

"Possible" Kisame mused "third guess?"

"The Kage's office. No one would normally dare snoop around in there" I suggested. "Plus reminiscent of Ao-sensei's exams in Suna".

"Maybe right" Mangetsu agreed "Library first".

This decided, we set off, ducking and weaving through the streets of Kumo.

I was very glad B had dragged us on those tours of his.

Otherwise this would be that much more difficult.

* * *

**Attempt 1 – Library**

"Look guys! A scroll" Mangetsu retrieved it from its hiding place on the shelves.

Navigating here had given me horrific flashback to a certain library level on a certain video game.

And we didn't have invisibility cloaks.

But we'd done it.

And seemingly had the prize.

Kisame took the scroll, sniffing it. "Fake" he said, putting it back.

"What? How do you know that?" Mangetsu whined softly.

"Who ever put this here smells like water. Most people from Kumo smell like their accursed rocks" the Shark answered.

"Jashin damn it" I cursed "Square next?"

"No. Kage's office. The square is just too obvious" Kisame shook his head.

And so off we went again.

* * *

**Attempt 2 – Raikage's office**

"Well there's the door. But how the hell are we getting in?" Mangetsu asked.

"Koneko... you once told me about a trick you can do" Kisame looked at me.

My kekkei genkai? "Even with that, I can't turn invisible, Kisame. There's ANBU right _there_, unless you somehow didn't see them" I nodded to the ANBU flanking the door.

"No. But Mangetsu can turn into water" came the reply.

"I don't even know if I can use it with another person" I protested softly.

"What are you two talking about?" Mangetsu and Ao had not been included in the knowledge of my kekkei genkai.

"You have to try, Koneko. Otherwise, we're not getting in there" Kisame told me softly.

"Jashin fucking damn. I'll try" I moved over to Mangetsu. "Hold still. I have no idea what I'm doing and don't want to mess up".

Activating my kekkei genkai on myself was like flipping a switch, easy and reflexive. Attempting to use it on someone else... was like attempting to pour water from a large pitcher into a tiny glass. It could be done, but it took concentration. Lots of concentration.

"Go Mangetsu" I had managed to succeed, but holding it was difficult "I can't do this long".

Mangetsu obeyed, turning into water, and slipping easily through the door.

He returned a moment later, producing a scroll, and I panted as I let go of his chakra. Ugh. It made my head spin.

"Fake" Kisame said after sniffing it.

"Jashin..." I wheezed, unable to finish the curse.

"The hell was that anyway?" Mangetsu asked.

"Kekkei... genkai" I answered.

"Like my water abilities. Next time, oh adorable one, you should tell people these things" Mangetsu shook his head.

Kisame moved to pull me into carrying piggyback style. "She told me".

"You don't count"

"Guys... check..."

"Yes. We're aware" Mangetsu patted my head, despite Kisame snarling at him at looking like he wanted to take Mangetsu's hand off for doing so "One last place".

* * *

**Attempt 3 – Near the starting area**

"You have got to be kidding me" Mangetsu picked up a scroll laying obviously in sight on a stand near the square. He handed it over to Kisame.

"Apparently not" the Shark sniffed it "And it's real too".

"S-seriously...?" I had not recovered from earlier, still having to piggyback Kisame.

"Let's go get this to sensei then" Mangetsu shook his head.

"I swear, if we get caught by ANBU now, I'm murdering someone" Kisame grumbled.

_A few moments of sneaking later_

"What happened to Toki?" Ao accepted the scroll. "And this is real. So you three pass. Where'd you find it?"

"A jutsu gone wrong. And the scroll was just over there around the corner" Mangetsu gestured.

"That's unexpected.. Kisame, get Toki to our hotel rooms. Make her rest. I'll tell you what and when the next exam is after the Raikage announces it".

"I'll stay here with sensei. You two go on ahead" Mangetsu waved us off.

* * *

"Koneko, you've got a fever" Kisame gave me a worried look as he deposited on the bad I'd claimed as mine.

"S-sorry..."

"Not your fault. I was the one who suggested it" he snarled at himself. "For a fake scroll too".

"Y-ou didn't... k-know that..." I countered.

"Having you reveal your kekkei genkai to Mangetsu though..."

"He... h-has o-one too..."

"Toki, I-"

Perhaps it was cause I was exhausted. I didn't think before interrupting him. I did so by outright kissing him.

Kisame took a heartbeat to return it before making me lay down.

"S-stop blaming... yourself..." I ordered.

"Yes ma'am" were the last words I heard before falling asleep.

**Kisame POV**

Damn it.

She was so exhausted and clearly not thinking straight with that fever of hers.

Therefore...

That kiss didn't count.

But he would still obey the order she'd given him and stop blaming himself for her condition.

He'd guard her sleep and get her anything she needed until she recovered.

And while it didn't exactly count...

She still kissed him.

Heaven help anyone that attempted to harm her.

* * *

**3****rd****Person**

Ao had expected for his Shark student to take his job of making the small kunoichi of their team rest seriously.

What he hadn't expected was the rather impressive glare he received when he stepped close to check on Toki's status.

"She'll be ok, Tomorrow, maybe the day after" Ao informed the two males.

"That's good" Mangetsu sighed in relief. "Poor Toki-chan really exhausted herself so we could pass".

"Do not take her lightly" came the warning snarl from Kisame.

"I wouldn't dream of it. I know she can kick my ass from here to Suna" Mangetsu chuckled.

"Either way there will be nothing stopping you three from continuing to the next exam".

"What will we be doing, Ao-sensei?" Kisame asked.

"They didn't say" Ao sighed.

"The only thing that the bothered to tell us is that it involves randomization" Mangetsu added.

"That's informative" Kisame drawled.

"Your Koneko's sarcasm is rubbing off on you" Mangetsu snickered.

"Don't call her that. And maybe it is" came the snapping reply.

"Testy Shark" the white haired male grinned "Worried about your Koneko? Ao-sensei already said she'd be fine".

"I said _not_ to call her that, Snowy" Kisame's hand went to his blade.

"Save your energy for the next part of the exams you two" Ao glared "Besides your disturbing the kunoichi".

The two males still feared their sensei. His temper was never something to be taken lightly.

And neither wanted to deprive their smaller female companion of needed rest.

They both liked her, in their own ways.

So they fell silent.

* * *

_So upon reading the reviews, I noticed a suspicious amount of requests to see Toki sick. I obliged, but probably not in the way you were thinking._

_**Next time – **__"__We're randomly getting assigned partners?!"_

_I have a fun game for you all. In order to truly randomize partners, I'm having you all participate. :3 _

_If there's not a general consensus I'll go RNG on it_

_We have ten currently known characters I'll randomly stick each one with a number 1-10 with no particular correlation _

_The only one I'm telling you: Toki's number is 3_

_Now produce random pairings! Who knows! We might have Guy and Mangetsu having to be on a team! Or maybe B and Kisame!_

_**Review Replies!**_

_December – I am a bit oblivious yes. I don't think I'm quite Toki's level though. Or I hope not o.o_

_Inseparable – Perhaps it would be a bit annoying, thank goodness Toki's used to it xD And only time will tell -evil smile-_

_White – Kisame is going to have some interesting challengers appear during this story. It's going to be funny. Not everyone likes Toki... but she does tend to make the strangest friends (or perhaps gain more attention than that)..._

_Ryn – I apologiz. Grammer is not my strong point. I swear I run a check on it before I post, but things slip by. B's here to stay until the exams are done xD And even then, who knows..._

_Bloody – Like with Mangetsu, Toki doesn't precisely know the how or when with Yagura's death. Nor is she really attached to him. As to your other questions, you shall see..._

_Kasai – You have no idea. As for B, he's still in the attempting to make friends stage. I'm not sure he'd ever like Toki __**that**__way, but perhaps as a little sister. In which he'd still fight Kisame over her in order to protect her from devious Sharks xD_

_Shadow – And more characters have entered the fray :)_

_To __**most**__of__the guest users – I'm still calling the sheer amount of you and the fact you're all requesting the same thing suspicious. But I granted the request. Thank you for the suggestion :)_

_Jo-jo – In my head cannon each Village attempts to do something different with the exams, and everyone else is simply subjected to whatever they come up with xD_

_Draconis – -hands over fries- There you go :3 I was actually going to have some Akatsuki show up here... but then I fact checked their ages and chuunin promotion ages... And none of them fit -.-;_

_Nazebaka – …Bwhahaha! Now you have that image in my head! And I tried I really did. Curse you Akatsuki members for getting promoted ridiculously young (Sasori) or not nearly being old enough to reasonably be there (Hidan, Deidara, Itachi)! Or being too old in general (Kakuzu) _

_Kyprioth – thank you, I tried ^^; Kakashi has Sasori syndrome. He's the proper age, but after fact checking... he was promoted to chuunin at a really young age. He's already a chuunin at this point . Darn you prodigy! _

_Cattea- I have the feeling I will too xD And your question may just get answered..._

_Anima – I just don't know. I'm debating with myself. As said before technically my plot I have works either way. But Tobito... he tends to screw things up._

_Guest – Actually B really is about2-3 years older than Kisame. And Toki's unsure which Hokage we're on. She's taking a random guess since Sarutobi was Hokage for a really long time and Minato was Hokage... for a rather short time._

_Fire – Glad I could help ^^_

_Vaughn – Thank you :)_

_Mistress – B's going to be sticking around till the end of the exams for certain... and even after that, who knows. :3 And dear lord now I have that mental image in my head xD_

_Arcami – There'll be a gap between the second and third exams, like with Konoha (though not nearly as long). That'd be the best time for a date... I might just do it ^^ thanks for the suggestion. And thanks for the compliment! I'm honestly still surprised people are paying my little story any attention at all!_

_Ketsueko – yes! More fans for the deprived Shark! And writing Mangetsu is entertaining in itself xD I loved being able to create his personality. And good, I'm glad the cookies were worth it. I shall join you in cuddling both of them because they're too cute for their own good. And here you go, have an update :P_

_TheOne – Hehe, I completely understand. -high fives- Thank you! :D_

_Ceralyn – Why do people always doubt the awesomeness of the Shark? And that battle certainly was epic and well worth reading/watching ^^ I'm glad I'm converting you xD Chibi-sharks are adorable_

_Ie-Mau – Here ya go, have an update!_

_Chibi – B's certainly on the just friends route as of the moment. But there will be rivals oh ho there will be... -evil smile-_

_Yuuki – Glad you like him! I was a bit worried about not portraying him properly ^^; And thug Kisame is now the most funny thing I have ever imagined xD I second the mindless zombification by university._


	13. Partner Randomization Go!

_I swear this chapter practically wrote itself after I got the pairs from you guys xD_

_As always, thank you so very much for the attention you've given to this story!_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

"Kisame, please stop hovering. I promise, I'm fine" I was still a bit whoozy from earlier, but I was well enough to move.

I had done dumb things while my fever had been up.

One of them involved the extremely cheezy 'shut Kisame up by kissing him' maneuver.

I was steadfastly going to pretend I didn't remember it. I just hoped Kisame forgave me for doing something like that.

"Koneko, I'm going to hover. Deal with it" Kisame wasn't going to back off anytime soon.

Darn you, adorable Shark. It's this sort of behavior that makes my mind think it has permission to kiss you without my logical consent!

"Poor Toki-chan. Just relax and let us baby you for today" Mangetsu grinned.

"Come near her and I'll gut you" the Shark snarled.

"What did I tell you two? Save your energy for the next exams" Ao gave them a stern look that had both males going silent.

"Speaking of which, sensei, what are they?" I asked,

"Well..."

_One explanation later_

"You're kidding, right?" I complained. The serious look on Ao's face told me that he really wasn't. "We're randomly getting assigned partners?!"

"Yes" sensei nodded.

"And that's seriously all we know?" I whined. Another nod.

"Don't worry, Toki-chan. Apparently they'll be giving us the rest of the information after they've created the new groups" Mangetsu assured.

"If I'm stuck with the rapping idiot I don't know who will be in more danger, him or the person that sticks me with him" Kisame muttered.

"Kisame, you know B's not a bad person or shinobi" I scolded.

"Yes. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be able to tolerate ever last sentence spoken to me being done in a rapping rhyme" cue growl and flash of sharp teeth in irritation.

"You're going to be upset with anyone that isn't Toki-chan" Mangetsu observed "So you're just going to be irritated no matter what poor soul has to put up with you".

"Wanna say that again, Snowy?" the Shark's hand went to his blade.

"Personally I'd think it'd be hilarious if you two got stuck together. Without Toki or I there to keep you from antagonizing each other, it'd be entertaining to watch" Ao mused, causing him to receive Kisame's glare.

"Why do you want me to suffer, sensei?" Mangetsu whined.

"Because it'd be funny".

* * *

The following day, we were instructed to go to an arena where we'd be getting our partners.

"But I don't wanna leave Toki-chan~" Mangetsu complained as we walked "I'm not done flirting with her~!"

"Something tells me you'd never be done" Ao commented.

"It really is a miracle I've let you survive as long as you have, Snowy" Kisame snarled.

"I hope you get someone you find even more annoying than me just for that" Mangetsu pouted.

I sighed. Even with this constant chaos I wasn't eager to leave my team. I knew their fighting styles, they knew mine. We fought well together, even if Kisame and Mangetsu were constantly antagonizing each other, Now these exams were going to stick us with someone else and tell us to accomplish who-knows-what.

A few moments later, we were in the designated arena (which looked eerily similar to the place the first part of Naruto's chuunin sparring matches had occurred). There was even the obnoxiously large computer screen on the wall.

"This will randomly select individuals to be partners. We suggest you get to know each other and get along. Teamwork is key in the next exams" A informed us before nodding to the chuunin proctor who started the process. The first exam had significantly lessened the teams, so this wouldn't take too long.

The first couple of matches didn't involve anyone I knew or cared about.

Then it slowly started.

One of B's team mates got randomly put with a Suna-nin.

Kurenai got stuck with someone from Kumo.

A few more names I didn't know.

B's other team mate got paired with someone from Shimogakure.

Then Kisame's name appeared as one of the selected.

"Tch. Wonder who I'm getting stuck with" Kisame made his way forward so he could meet his parter.

The second name appeared.

Oh Jashin, I didn't know if I should panic or fall over laughing.

"Yosh! Come my new youthful partner! Let us meet!" A blur of green and Kisame was joined by Guy. "I am Might Guy! It is good to meet you!" He made the patented 'nice guy' pose.

"Pffft" my eyes were watering and sides were hurting from containing my laughter,

Mangetsu wasn't so composed. "Bwahahahahaha! I like your new partner Kisame!"

"Come! It is most unyouthful to not introduce yourself!" Guy pouted at Kisame, who honestly looked unsure of what exactly he should be doing.

"Kisame" he managed, starting to edge away from the Beautiful Green Beast in an escape attempt.

"Then Kisame you and I shall be the most youthful partners in these next exams!" Guy outright hugged the Shark.

Jashin, I could see the sunset behind them.

"Take your youthfullness elsewhere" A snapped at them to get out of the way. Guy bowed before literally dragging the still stunned Kisame off to the side with the other new teams.

More unrelated names flew by.

"My turn this time" Mangetsu grinned as his name came up. "Let's hope I get a cute girl". With that he made his way forward.

The name that came up with his made me snort. No such luck for you, Mangetsu.

"What? I'm stuck with a _guy_?!" came the protest from two males in unison. Mangetsu and Genma.

I would almost pay for a video of them doing this next exam together.

The two males sized each other up before both heading to the other teams, looking irritated. Neither seemed very keen on working with the other.

A few more names flew by.

Mine came up.

At least I was safe from Guy's... youthfullness and Genma's flirting.

But who knows what I'd be stuck with instead.

The second name came up.

I had never been so happy to see B's name as I was to see it on that screen.

"What do ya know? Toki and B goin' to run this show!" my new partner came up grinning, bumping fists in greeting.

"Dang it, Toki-chan! Why do you get the cool partner?" Mangetsu protested, looking at me sullenly.

"It's not like I want to be stuck with you either, creep" Genma muttered.

"You're with the rapping idiot?" Kisame had recovered enough to speak. He snarled "I don't approve".

"A most youthful partnership indeed! Much like our own, Kisame, my friend" Guy granted us another 'nice guy' pose in sign of his approval.

Kisame almost visibly flinched away.

The last couple of names got paired up, finishing the randomization.

"Here's your task" the Raikage motioned and a map of Lightning Country appeared on the screen.

So it was capable of more than randomly selecting names.

A few dots appeared on the screen. "These are camps of shinobi. As you see, there are more of you than there are them. To decide who goes onto the final exams, only the pairs that retrieve the insignia for the leader of the camps may process. You may do this however you wish. You have two days. Leave".

Once again, genin scattered, though in very different teams than before.

* * *

**Guy & Kisame (Or Team Beasts)**

"Let's just go to the closest one and get this over with" Kisame was beyond irritated at his newfound parter. Did this guy ever stop talking about what was youthful and what wasn't? What did youthful even _mean_?!

"That would be most un-youthful!" came the response from his spandex-wearing companion. "We should go to the one furthest away!"

"We only have two days" Kisame reminded him.

"Then let us show them the fires of our youth by making it there and back in one!" Guy bounded off.

The Shark couldn't help his surprise. The psycho was fast! He moved as easily through the rock as any Kumo-nin did.

Like hell Kisame was allowing himself to get beaten by some psychotic bleeding-heart Konoha shinobi.

The Shark picked up his speed, forcing himself to keep pace at Guy's side.

Having to keep up this inhuman speed made Kisame completely forget that he'd technically lost the argument about which camp they were going to.

* * *

**Mangetsu & Genma (Or Team Flirt)**

"We've already fully established that we both detest each other" Mangetsu growled. It would've shocked Kisame and Toki to hear him snarl. They were used to him being a more playful person.

"Agreed" his companion glared at him. Ugh, didn't that guy know how stupid he looked with a senbon sticking out of his mouth like that?

"But if we don't force ourselves to work together, we're not passing this" the white haired male cursed his luck again.

"Very true" Genma sighed. "Fine, let's just go to one of the closest camps. That way we can be rid of each other quickly".

"I like that idea" and so they were off. "You know... the kunoichi of my team uses senbon too. You're copying her. So you're using a _girl's_ weapon".

"For all you know, I was using it first! She copied me! So she's using a _guy's_ weapon" Genma retorted.

"Nope. You're younger than her. Therefore she's been using senbon longer. So you're the one copying her" Mangetsu gave his companion an evil grin, showing off his sharp teeth.

"Whatever. I've never been to Mist. So I'm not copying anyone. Let alone a kunoichi" Genma returned his attention to their path.

* * *

**B & Toki (Or Team Functional )**

"Which one do you think we should head for? Everyone else will most likely flock to the closest ones" I asked B with a head tilt.

"B thinks that if we head here, then competition should be nothing to fear" he pointed to a place on his own map, where one of the dots had been.

"Alright. Let's hope this works" I nodded and off we went.

"It's a good thing we know each other's fighting style, we'll have the others beat by a mile" B grinned at me as we ran.

"I have to agree with that. Kisame and Mangetsu didn't exactly have harmonious relationships with their new partners" I laughed.

"You'll have to wonder if they'll make it through tonight without starting a fight" B laughed with me.

* * *

**Guy & Kisame**

Kisame would never ever admit it out loud. But his muscles were screaming at him by the time they reached the camp.

They'd found a ledge that overlooked the camp so now he and the Green Beast of Konoha were observing their opponents.

"Kumo-nin. Jounin, most likely" the Shark couldn't help the slight wheeze in his speech.

"A youthful challenge indeed" Guy seemed overly excited. "Come Kisame! Let's go and take the fight to them!" A blur of green and the Beast was gone. Right into the middle of the jounin. He took them by surprise, whirling from one attack into the next.

"Tch" Kisame shook his head "Soft Konoha shinobi". Guy was hitting to knock his opponents out, not kill. "But I refuse to lose to this psycho".

The Shark jumped down, joining the Green Beast in battle, hitting with the blunt side of his blade. Mustn't offend the soft Leaf-nin's sensibilities.

Plus Koneko would murder him if she found out he killed unnecessarily.

"A youthful challenge! We must step it up a notch!" Guy grinned "Kaimon: Kai! Front Lotus!"

Kisame had thought the spandex wearing shinobi fast before. But whatever he'd just done had increased his speed beyond that of the jounin they were fighting.

Two could play at that game. While the Shark himself couldn't boost his speed, he knew a certain Koneko who kept the chakra stones of his necklace full. "Rai Ken" Lightning sparked on his blade.

He had to admit, he loved this technique. Too bad it was only borrowed.

Best to use it to its full advantage.

Kisame blurred with the speed boost granted by the Lightning Blade, keeping pace with his green blur companion.

In a matter of moments, the two beasts, one green the other blue stood victorious over a bunch of unconscious Kumo-jounin.

"How wondrously youthful! You can two chakra releases!" cue that pose Guy seemed to always strike when giving a thumbs up. Kisame could swear he saw the spandex male's teeth sparkle every time he did this.

"Let's go with that" Kisame wasn't about to explain Toki's gift of the necklace and her chakra. He sheathed his blade, searching for the leader. "This guy's the one in charge". The Shark promptly searched him producing a small wood square bearing the symbol for Lightning on it. "Irony at its finest" he chuckled.

"Come my most youthful companion! Let us run back!" And off went the green blur again before Kisame could stop him.

The Shark sighed, mentally readying for the pain this would bring later as he caught up with Guy. "Ya know, for a stamina nut, you're not that bad".

Psychotic, yes.

But tolerable.

"Yosh! I am glad to have made such a youthful friend as yourself Kisame!" Guy flashed another sparkling smile.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves".

* * *

**Mangetsu & Genma**

"So... what are you thinking?" Mangetsu glared at the camp of Kumo jounin.

"We can't take them" Genma stated flatly.

"Thank you Captain Obvious".

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm".

"Ha, that was so funny I forgot how to laugh. Not like I haven't heard that one before" Mangetsu rolled his eyes. Of all people, why was he stuck with this insufferable guy?

"I'm better with sneaking in, taking down a few opponents. Not outright going after a group this large" Genma ignored him.

"I can both sneak and do open combat. But I know I wouldn't be able to last against so many jounin at once" Mangetsu decided to let the topic change go unchallenged.

"Then subterfuge is our best bet" the senbon user sighed.

"Let's try and spot the leader, see if he has a routine" the white haired sword user made himself comfortable for the long wait.

_Some time later_

"Leader spotted. No routine as of yet" Mangetsu pointed out the shinobi in question.

"Let's wait and wait" Genma watched the target closely.

_More time later_

"Routine figured out" Genma nodded.

"Agreed. We have the best bet of knocking him out without anyone noticing when he rounds the corner" Mangetsu got up.

Genma followed after him.

A few seconds later and senbon were sent flying at the leader's feet. The shinobi stopped, but before he could raise the alarm a sword hilt came down hard on his head.

Mangetsu searched him, producing a wood square with the symbol for Wind.

The unlikely pair quickly darted off before they drew attention to themselves.

"I still don't like you"

"And I still think you're annoying".

"But... you not useless"

"Hmph. I guess you're not entirely useless either".

* * *

**B & Toki**

"There's a lot of jounin B" I complained as we watched our chosen camp.

"It's true, but you shouldn't be blue!" B patted my head with a friendly grin. "We may be in a pinch, but B's plan will win this in a sinch!"

"You have a plan? That will somehow help us get around all these jounin to their leader and get his insignia off him? This I gotta hear" I gave him a disbelieving look.

"I'll distract. That's when you act" he rapped back, still grinning. "When the focus on B is main, you'll wrap the leader in your sickle-chain".

I saw where he was going with this. "I could give him a light zap after that, just enough to knock him out. Then I'll grab his insignia and we run for it. Since you're a lightning user too, you should be able to outpace the jounin while they're after you".

"So then Toki are you in? This plan is sure to win" he offered his fist.

I bumped it. "I'm in".

B launched off, creating a ruckus with his lightning jutsu.

The shinobi of the camp instantly responded to it, heading in his direction.

It was working.

I smiled, jumping down behind them and running for the leader, spinning the kusarigama. A well placed throw had him wrapped. "Raiton: Kangehika" it was a very light zap, considering. But it was enough to drop the shinobi in question.

I ran to him, searching him swiftly, ignoring the yells and chaos B was causing elsewhere.

There. A wood square with the symbol for Fire.

"B! I got it! Let's run!" I called, using the Rai Ken on my senbon, shamelessly wanting to exploit the speed boost.

"Good job! We'll be making the others sob!" B laughed, darting up after me, using a speed boost from his own lightning jutsu.

We got far enough away that we were able to drop our lightning jutsu and proceed at normal speed back for Kumo.

"Great work B" this time I offered my fist first as we ran.

"We did it, perhaps chuunin B will come to Mist to visit" he grinned widely knocking my fist with his.

"I'd like that" I laughed.

* * *

"Well done to the five passing groups" A congratulated us "Only ten of you now. The last examinations will be sparring matches. Losing does not disqualify you from becoming a chuunin. Winning does not mean you will become one. We will watch how you fight, and report to your respective Kages. They will decide who moves forward. You have a month before these take place".

"So only one more exam to go" I sighed in relief.

The five passing groups consisted of Kisame and Guy, Mangetsu and Genma, B and myself, Kurenai and the shinobi she'd been paired with, and a group of two shinobi I didn't recognize.

"Glad you made it, Koneko. Was the rapping idiot any help?" Kisame walked, or rather limped up painfully, hugging me as if for dear life. "I need a dose of sanity after... that"

"My most youthful partner we should train together! A month to make our youthful flames burn bright!" Guy chirped with his signature smile.

Kisame twitched while hugging me.

"How youthful! A relationship of most passionate love! You shall be my second eternal rival then, Kisame! You and Kakashi will prove hard to beat!" Guy continued.

"I-I-I-I! We aren't-!" I protested

"That's right, she's mine. Go find your own" Kisame simply stated giving Guy a flat look.

"I am so glad you two passed. You would not believe how annoying my partner was" Mangetsu whined as he walked up. "Oi, Kisame, share Toki-chan. I need a hug too".

"Fuck off, Mangetsu" Kisame snarled, hold tightening around me.

"B thinks your team must really be amiss if you are used to this" my former partner commented, snickering at my predicament.

"Trust me B, you have no idea" I sighed, deciding to pretend I hadn't heard Kisame's verbal claim.

It was ignoring being trapped in his hug that was the hard part.

* * *

_Tsk, tsk Mangetsu. You should know Chibi-Sharks don't share their Konekos_

_Your three decided__pairs from the votes amongst the reviews. 3-7, 2-8 and 4-10_

_Seven was B :P Two was Guy, Eight Kisame. Genma was 10. Mangetsu was 4__xD_

_RNG results : Kurenai got paired with the slot I gave to random shinobi._

_B's teammates actually got paired together but I decided to separate them -shrug-_

_**Next Time –**__ "__Here's the list of sparring matches" _

_I sighed in acceptance. I was going to get my butt kicked._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Arcami – No such luck, but I hope you still found this funny ^^ I sadly don't know much about Darui's personality. I may have zoned out on those parts -nervous laughter- I apologize -hangs head-_

_Ryn – But having you all help worked out so nicely!_

_Anon – Precisely what I meant, thank you :)_

_White – Hehe, poor Shark has to wait awhile before he gets one that 'counts'. You actually got two of the pairs. You must have future seeing abilities_

_Ketsueko – Thank you ^^ And you'll be seeing the fights (or at least three of them) next chapter. I second that -cuddles them as well- Oooh cookie! -easily distracted- Toki was saved from the horror. Kisame was not so lucky xD_

_Nomurai – Your vote helped create one of the pairs ^^ I don't think Mangetsu and Genma like each other very much though. And I thought so as well, so Kurenai got stuck with random Suna-nin. Slightly better... maybe._

_Jo-jo – Yep, exactly what I wanted. :3 Thank you. You got the 3-7 pair you wanted xD Toki and B are the only ones who actually got along._

_Vaughn – Thank you_

_Yuuki – Now I need to watch Lilo and Stitch again xD I meant choose random numbers, but you got one right! Yay for Toki and B! And I agree, Toki underestimates herself. Kisame's doing his best to get her to see that she can be a difficult opponent when she wants to be. Poor Shark has a lot of work ahead._

_Cara – Thank you for the input ^^ You got the 3-7!_

_Ie-maru – Yet another 3-7. Toki and B as a pair won by a landslide. Hope you enjoyed this :D_

_Kasai – I know. At first I was going to have it be in the Kage's office... but it seemed a lot more ironic to put it out in the open xD No such luck on those, but I hope you still find this funny ^^_

_Lady – Nope! :P Mangetsu was actually 4_

_Vindicated – Thank you so much! I'm glad you like this :3 And yay for possessive Kisame! I'm hoping all three pairings I showed were amusing in their own ways. Have to wonder how Guy will react to his new eternal rival years later hm? Thank you for the input! Hope you like this chapter ^^_

_Guest – Alas, that pairing didn't win. I apologize _

_Miri – All of these 3-7s! I hope you liked it ^^_

_Ceres – Yes they are in the same team. And complete with hug. Poor Shark is out of his element. _

_Fire – Thank you for the input ^^_

_Nazebaka – Your poem is amazing. And I'm helping you procrastinate? Hehe, I'd be doing the same thing actually xD No such luck on the 2-4 but hope you were satisfied anyways!_

_December – I assure you, this one's longer :P _

_Green – Thank you for the compliment!_

_Kenegi – You __**may**__see drunk when she's much older. She's only ten right now... This is early early Third War. Right now it's more of a dispute between Konoha and Iwa than a real war. Things escalate and Mist becomes involved with the Rin thing right after Yagura. I know it's not exactly canon but Kishimoto's time line confuses me ~ And that was so a young Obito henged to look like Madara_

_Heartless – Thank you! I intend to keep writing until the story is finished :3_

_Neko – You'll have to wait until she older than nine to find out :P And this one's longer I swear! Thanks for the pairs input!_

_Shadow – Guy only remembers his name currently because he likes Kisame. And one mustn't forget the names of friends or new eternal rivals._

_Kyoichi – Fluff overdoses are fun xD Here, have an update_

_Kyprioth – Good gosh, 3-7 won by a lot. Thank you for the pairings!_

_Draconis – I know. Robbing me of possible characters to have show up. Darn you prodigies. Kisame is not entirely sure what to make of Guy at the moment. Sucess! A shipping name! Yay! Don't worry *whispers* I so totally ship them too. Thank you for the compliment! Have another chapter!_

_Chibi – No rivals currently, but there will be... -evil smile- And poor Shark is all bruised up thanks to Guy's youthfulness. And thank you! _

_Kage – Thank you for the pairings! :)_

_Ophy – I actually imagined Ao with that exact expression on his face as I wrote that scene xD And yes them growing up will help make things more interesting (Though at most you're only getting PG13 stuff. This fic is rater T... and I have no experience writing such things -blushes-) Here, have another chapter ^^_


	14. A Shark's Guide to Dating

_Fast updates?! Are there pigs flying by the windows? The world must be ending! Run for it!_

_You can thank Arcami for the following chapter. Twas a suggestion. ^^_

_Again and again, I thank you all so much for the attention you've given this story ^^_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning:** Shameless fluff

No Beta

* * *

Kisame groaned, his muscles still sore from having to keep up with the unholy speed of Guy. He was glad that he would never have to do something like that ever again.

He honestly wouldn't be surprised if his muscles didn't stop aching for weeks thanks to the green psycho.

Ao had thankfully decided to grant them the weekend to rest and recover, much to his genins' unanimous surprise. However, after this, their hunter-nin sensei was most likely going to put them through absolute hell with training. That evil smile on Ao's face had made them all exceedingly wary.

Still, even with that horror looming in the future, they'd still been granted a few days to relax and recover.

Ever an opportunist, the Shark knew just what he wanted to do with his free days. He still had a Koneko to win over.

And Kisame was a very determined Shark.

A determined Shark with a plan.

In his opinion, it was a very good plan.

Just a few simple steps, and Koneko would hopefully stop being so... oblivious.

Or resistant.

His inner Shark stirred.

Yes.

They'd win their prize.

* * *

**Step 1 – Acquire Koneko, Ditch Others**

"Koneko," Kisame approached me.

"Hm?" I blinked up at him lazily from my bed. I was fully enjoying this time off. I was somewhat shocked that Kisame wasn't taking full advantage of it as well.

"I'm bored" came the reply. That explained it. Kisame could be restless sometimes.

"Now who's the one sounding like Mangetsu?" I grinned

"Oi! I'm right here you know" the white haired male protested. Not that Mangetsu bothered moving. He was too busy being lazy.

"We should do something" the Shark ignored Mangetsu in favor of myself.

"Like what?" I asked. I wasn't aware of much to do around Kumo.

"Come with me. We'll go around Kumo and find something".

"In other words, you have no idea" I sighed.

Kisame glared at me "Better than sitting around here all day if you ask me".

"Alright, alright, I'm coming" I got up to go.

"Can I come?" Mangetsu grinned.

"Sure-" I began.

"No" Kisame snapped, cutting me off, giving Mangetsu a fierce glare in the process.

"..." Mangetsu studied Kisame for a moment before his grin got wider. "Alright. Have fun you two!"

"Don't get lost" was Ao's only comment as he turned the page in his book.

"We'll be back later" Kisame took my hand, dragging me out of the room.

"Still wish we had an actual plan" I muttered.

"Trust me, Koneko. I'll come up with something" he flashed me a sharp toothed grin.

_A few moments later with Ao and Mangetsu_

"...I'm surprised you didn't go with them, Mangetsu. I can sense your boredom from over here" Ao drawled, flipping another page.

"Did you see the look on Kisame's face? I like life, sensei. Besides, I'll bet you that he's dragging her on an impromptu date" Mangetsu chuckled.

"Hm. I have to agree with you. It was only a matter of time" Ao mused "And besides, a man can only stand so much denial before he confronts the source of it".

"You think he's going to talk to her about that?"

"It's probably not in his current plans. But I'd wager that after he's spent the day attempting to romance her with little progress, he'll snap" the hunter nodded assuredly.

"Bet you that it doesn't happen until after the exams" Mangetsu smirked.

"You're on. How much?"

* * *

**Step 2 – Surprise Koneko**

I kept pace alongside the Shark while we aimlessly wandered Kumo.

Or at least I thought it was aimless wandering. Kisame certainly was maneuvering through the streets like he was headed somewhere.

The soft noise of music hit my ears.

There, in the center of Kumo, was a festival of some sort.

"You sneaky bastard. You knew this was going on" I laughed. Why would he be dragging me to this?

"B told me" the Shark admitted, looking like he'd eaten something sour. "Thought you'd might like it".

"...Neither of us are dressed for a festival" I really wanted to go. I hadn't been to a festival before. Let alone one in the Naruto universe.

"Tch. Who cares? Come on, Koneko, you know you want to" Kisame nudged me towards it.

"Alright, you win. Don't think I'll forget this, Mr. Sneaky. Next time, we're going dressed properly" I gave in heading towards the festival.

"Of course Koneko" Kisame just gave me a sharp toothed grin.

I couldn't help my laugh as I started to drag him from stall to stall.

I'd always wanted to go to one of these.

Sadly the 'Bloody Mist' and fun things like festivals simply did not go together.

I'd honestly thought my chances of ever doing something like this were slim to none.

But Kisame apparently worked wonders.

I vaguely wondered if Okaa-san had somehow managed to teach the Shark the art of defying logic.

I honestly couldn't believe he'd asked B about anything either.

The Shark might tolerate B... but he still wasn't fond of the rapper.

For him to willingly approach B for anything was something bizarre.

There should be pigs flying by any moment now.

I shook my head, deciding to just have some fun with Kisame at my side.

The Shark had produced a festival, and I wanted us to enjoy it.

**Kisame POV**

His crazy plan was working.

The Shark couldn't believe his luck.

He'd have to thank the annoying rapper for the information later.

Approaching him had been the equivalent of willingly let his teeth get pulled.

But it'd be worth it all because of that look on her face.

He was perfectly willing to let her lead them through the festival. She was flitting here and there like the excited kitten she was. All that was missing was the piece of string for her to be chasing.

One moment she'd be staring at a stand's wares, the next she'd be giggling over the fish catching game, another beat and she was at a food stall, insisting on buying them both candied apples.

Of course, while she darted her and there, he kept her company.

He wouldn't leave her side for the world.

And he really was enjoying himself. It was hard not to when he had an excited and happy Koneko with him.

They drew attention, being Mist ninja at a Kumo festival. Not to mention he was a land-faring Shark. He ignored the attention, already used to people giving him strange looks.

Though, if people commented on their lack of dress, he did give them his best snarling glares.

He would not tolerate them ruining his Koneko's fun for something as stupid as not wearing appropriate clothing.

And besides, she'd out right said there would be a next time so they could actually go in festival clothing.

He fully intended to hold her to that.

For now though, he was content with this.

His Koneko really was adorable when she was happy.

His inner Shark was content with the female they'd claimed as theirs.

* * *

**Step 3 – Attempt Winning Koneko Over**

"Thank you Kisame" I smiled, eating the unhealthy but oh so wonderful festival food as we sat on a bench a small distance away.

"I like you happy" Kisame was blunt. He was never one for beating around the point.

"I'm certainly happy now" I smiled "This was a lot of fun".

The Shark looked smug. Like that was the best compliment I could've payed him.

"See? It's not so bad is it?" Kisame moved, tucking a stray stand of my hair behind my ear.

I was confused.

"What's not so bad? Hanging out together? We do this a lot. Sure this is the first festival we've gone to, but I don't see why going to something like this would be considered bad" I pouted at him.

Kisame chuckled slightly. "No, my oblivious Koneko. I meant going on a date" he was amused at my expense. "I just showed you that the world won't end if we do things like this".

I gaped at him.

"Why do you think I wouldn't let Mangetsu come? Or why he bothered agreeing not to come? Snowy's got some intelligence. He picked up on what I wanted" the Shark relaxed beside me.

Then he moved again, face coming close to me.

"Kisame..." I was attempting a fast recovery. Had to do something fast!

"Yes, Koneko?" he gave his typical grin.

"While this was fun... I don't think it's a good idea... for us you know?" I stared at the ground.

* * *

**Step 4 – Error 404: Not Found**

Kisame's eyes narrowed. And suddenly I found my food stolen and set aside. Then I had a very irritated Shark pinning me in my seat.

His face was still too close.

"Tell me why, Toki" he all but growled. "Give me one damned good reason why not".

"We're too young..."

"Bullshit. I smell your lie. And you and I both know the life of a shinobi is a short one. Why can't we have something for however long it lasts?" the Shark was not backing off.

Curse his sense of smell.

The truth then.

"I'm afraid"

"You come from the Bloody Mist. What could you possibly be afraid of?"

"Losing my best friend!" I glared at him "What if this... goes wrong?!"

This got Kisame to pause.

"If this ends badly, what then?! You'll start ignoring me! And I'll lose you!"

"Koneko..." the Shark attempted to soothe me.

"Then you'll end up joining an evil organization and doing terrible things!" I was having none of it, officially in panic mode.

"Toki"

"You'll obey a horrible man who's just using you! And because you'll be so loyal, when you're captured for information, you'll-!" Kisame's hand came up to my mouth managing to shush me.

"Koneko. Calm. Deep breaths" his voice was surprisingly gentle. I obeyed. "We good?" I nodded "Now. It's your turn to listen". Kisame looked serious. "Toki, I promise you, that _if _this ends badly, which it won't, then I won't suddenly ignore your existence. You're my best friend. I would not sacrifice that for some petty reason. I promise you, and you know I don't make a promise I won't keep. But as this _won't_ end badly we don't have to worry about... whatever that was you were going on about. You've got a crazy imagination to come up with all of that".

"How...?"

"Do I know it won't?" he grinned "We can practically read each other's minds sometimes. You're my adorable Koneko. You have claws that scare even myself at times. And I know how stubborn we both are. We would be determined to fix a problem should it occur, not wanting to fight over it".

Jashin, Kisame could make a lot of sense.

"So let's try this again, Koneko" the Shark came closer. "I'll just ask bluntly. Are you willing to give me a chance?"

I gave Kisame a look. He had long ago stopped being just some character from a story to me. He was my closest friend. I could trust him. And the Shark really didn't make promises he didn't intend to keep.

"A-alright" I nodded, feeling myself blush.

"Good" the Shark pounced, outright kissing me.

My thoughts were subsequently reduced to 'fdgfujttdg', but I did manage to return the kiss.

Why had I been so against this again?

I didn't really remember.

I could swear I heard Kisame making a happy sort of growl sound. The closest a Shark could come to purring.

Kisame drew back. "See? The world didn't end"

Said with a smug look on his face.

He was lucky I wasn't exactly capable of thought.

"You're now officially mine, little Koneko" he bared his teeth in a smirk. "No more running away".

I nodded mutely. I was sure I was supposed to be agreeing with something.

* * *

Mangetsu took one look at our faces when we came back before instantly falling over and howling with laughter. "You two are together!"

"Got a problem with that?" Kisame bared his teeth in warning, hand going his blade hilt.

"Of course not" Mangetsu scoffed "It's just about time. You've been dancing around each other for forever".

"It a good thing you two got that sorted out. Less to distract you from the final exams" Ao held his empty hand out to Mangetsu "Pay up".

"Damn it, I was hoping you forgot" Mangetsu handed over some ryo.

"I would never forget a bet" Ao stated simply. "And I suggest you three get ready. An ANBU dropped this off" he held up the piece of paper he'd been using as a book mark. "Here's the list of sparring matches".

"Sensei, why didn't you mention this earlier?" I gave him a confused look.

"Because I needed a day off as much as you three. And I figured that when you saw this, you'd want to skip relaxing and go straight to training" he replied "That and I wanted to see how the thing between you and Kisame turned out".

Nosy hunter.

"Who are we facing?" Kisame scowled at not having been told earlier.

Ao unfolded the paper. "Kisame Hoshigaki of Kirigakure. Your spar is against B of Kumogakure"

"The rapping idiot? Just my luck" the Shark sulked.

"Mangetsu Hōzuki of Kirigakure. You face off against Genma Shiranui of Konohagakure".

"Not him again!" Mangetsu protested with a whine. "I already had to deal with him once!"

"Toki Sudachi of Kirigakure. Your match is against Kurenai Yūhi of Konohagakure".

"Jashin dammit" I cursed.

Why was I against the genjutsu mistress?

I was going to get my ass kicked!

"I guess we start training tomorrow then" Ao chuckled at our expense.

"Hai sensei" none of us argued this.

* * *

_A slightly shorter chapter, but still worth it!_

_We have progress! Hope this explained Toki's reasoning for being in constant denial. That and she really is dense -.-;_

_**Next Time –**__I took a deep breath, readying myself to face off against Kurenai. I hoped I made the others proud. Especially a certain Shark._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Kyoichi – Thank you ^^ And you never know. Toki's alterations might help prevent such things._

_Ie-maru – Glad you enjoyed it! Here have a fast update chapter!_

_Bloody – Thank you! I have to agree. Theirs was the only really functional team in that exam xD Toki alas doesn't know any sealing. She's got some bare basic medical jutsu outside of her normal abilities, but that's about it. I don't think Koneko here has the patience for sealing -sigh- And you'll have to just wait and see on that question :P_

_Nazebaka – More poetry! Yay! Thank you for the compliment ^^ You want to draw a full character bio?! I feel so loved ;~; Toki is perfect for it, thank you so much!_

_Kyprioth – I obeyed the temper tantrum actually xD And I'd like to think Koneko is slightly more sane than the Green Beast. Not much. But slightly. And that idea is utter gold. You'll be seeing a wider scope of the world in the next Arc due to reasons. I was already having the Jashinist make an appearance (because reasons) but I'll have to change up his entrance so I can incorporate that idea :3_

_Arcami – One excessively fluffy date chapter is which we delve into why Toki is in denial and a determined Shark fries her brain again. As per request :P I actually did pair Kisame and B together, but the other two get to fight other people. Kurenai vs Toki (because reasons) and Mangetsu vs Genma (just because I thought it'd be hilarious) ^^_

_Anime – I'm glad I could make you laugh! :)_

_Eternal – Here, have more adorableness :P I'm glad you like my portrayal of him. The Shark is certainly an interesting character to write. And yay a fan of Toki! :D I do my best to keep her likeable and still realistic (or as realistic as Naruto gets anyways) And this chapter was so fun to write I don't think tiring myself out is the issue xD_

_Kasai – Hopefully this explained why Toki was in denial. Hopefully she'll stop ruining moments now. Thank determined Sharks. Guy and Kisame make an epic team... even if the poor Shark can feel his sanity slipping away ^^ And these matches are more measures of skill. It'll be up to Yagura (or rather Tobito) if anybody from Mist becomes chuunin. Let's hope he's not a bad mood!_

_White – And now she can't ignore him anymore :P And possibly. Have to hang out with somebody while the others are fighting their matches right?_

_Vaughn – Thank you_

_Lady – Eh, it's alright xD There's no info out there about Mangetsu's personality, so I decided 'You know what, let's make him a flirt to rival Genma' and there you have it. And thank you ^^ I'm glad you like it, hope you enjoy these match ups!_

_Cjhoax – Thank you ^^ I would feel like I was so ripping off the canon exams if I did an invasion though xD You __**might **__get some lime. MAYBE. This is rated T. So PG13 stuff, plus a fade to black should things go further. And only once they're older than 11 and 10. A smidge young for such things._

_Scarlet – Thank you! Here, have another_

_Uni – Thank you so much :3_

_Shadow – You should feel sorry for Kisame. He had to be partners with Guy. Ad nothing perpares a person for the horror that is Guy_

_Guest – Thank you very much ^^_

_Ophy – I know. And you guys are the ones that paired them xD Toki is so used to her team's insanity practically nothing phases her anymore. Fighting next chapter! Tricked you :P Have some fluff instead. And thank you, I try ^^;_

_Cat – Glad you liked it :D An incintive to do homework? I'd just procrastinate -nervous laugh- And alas they grow up. Though I'd say they remain awkward xD_

_Ketsueko – Thank you ^^ glad you like it. Here, have a fluff overdose :P_

_Zuma – How can you not feel sorry for the poor Shark D: And It wasn't me who did it! You all wanted 3-7 as a pair xD And thank you!_

_TheOne – Thank you! And by the way I adore your icon. Yay Tobi! Why you have to be evil? D:_

_Fk - Thank you! Have a rather fast update! _


	15. The Final Test

_Thus we come to the last part of the chuunin exams. Finally, eh?_

_Thank you all, as usual, for your kind attention to this story_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

"I've looked into your opponents for the final matches, and decided on intense training that will hopefully help you to counter their skills" Ao told us as we arrived at our training grounds. "Kisame, your opponent uses lightning ninjutsu along with kenjutsu. Unfortunately, out lightning user is a ranged fighter. So, you'll be up against both Toki and Mangetsu at the same time. Toki, no weapons, only jutsu. Try to electrify Mangetsu's blade, try giving him the speed boost".

His attention went to the white-haired male.

"Mangetsu, your opponent uses senbon as his primary weapon. After Kisame, you'll be having to deal with both Toki and myself targeting you with these. I suggest you learn how to dodge quickly" Ao leveled his gaze at Mangetsu.

Mangetsu gulped. Being a hunter-nin, Ao was downright deadly with senbon. He'd also been drilling his techniques into me every chance he got. Apparently, this would be one of those times with Mangetsu as the target.

I really hoped Snowy knew how to dodge.

Ao's gaze finally landed on me.

"Toki, your opponent uses genjutsu. As all three members of this team are dismal at genjutsu, you'll be facing me alone. I will also randomly strike, putting you in genjutsu whenever I chose up until the exams. I expect you to recognize and be able to break most illusions long before the exams get close. You break out of a Bloody Mist hunter jounin's genjutsu, and some soft Konoha genin shouldn't be an issue. Am I clear?" the question was aimed at all of us.

"Hai sensei" we chorused. Judging from his expression, Kisame was the only one actually looking forward to his training.

* * *

"You know, one of these days, I'm not going to refill these" I muttered as the chakra stones on Kisame's necklace absorbed what I gave them.

The Shark had shamelessly been using the chakra I gave him during his spars against Mangetsu and myself.

Ao had allowed it because 'a ninja must use anything available to them to get the advantage'.

Though, judging from the bruises and cuts Kisame was sporting now after several sessions of us ganging up on him, it wasn't quite enough.

"Hiss all you want, Koneko" the Shark chuckled, before nuzzling me "You know you love me too much not to refill the chakra stones".

"Jashin damn your logic, Kisame" I glared, blushing. Dang Shark was surprisingly affectionate now that I was, as he said, 'officially his'. I was too used to Kisame not being a touchy person for this not to shock me every time he did something.

"You two are sickeningly sweet" Mangetsu made a face at us "Almost wish you'd go back to that awkward together-but-not thing you had earlier".

"Just for that, Snowy, I'm going to beat you down" Kisame gave Mangetsu his best predatory glare, hand slowly twirling his blade.

"Good. Because you need to go again. This time, Kisame, you had better keep up with your own speed, or I will _make_ you" the flash of our sensei's eyes had all three of us wishing we had something to hide behind.

"H-hai sensei" Kisame managed. "And I still say you could scare a biju".

"If I ever meet one of the tailed-beasts, I'll be sure to test your theory. Now. Again" Ao snapped and once more the training ground became chaos.

* * *

"Dodge, Mangetsu!" Ao growled tossing senbon that the poor guy barely avoided.

"I'm trying, sensei!" he protested, dodging some of my own needles.

"Not nearly hard enough!" our hunter sensei threw more senbon. "Faster, Toki. Mangetsu is getting lazy".

Mangetsu gave our sensei a horrified look as he had to continue to dodge and counter the needles flying at him. He already had numerous gashes on various places on his body from where he'd been too slow.

"You are going to dodge Mangetsu. Or Toki and I will turn you into a porcupine" Ao picked up his throwing pace.

I was forced to match speeds to avoid our sensei's wrath being redirected to me.

"Hehe... sucks to be you, Mangetsu" Kisame remarked from the sidelines. He was still nursing his wounds from earlier. He was not allowed to be healed because Ao had said 'he'll learn faster from the pain. All three of you will'.

Sometimes, I honestly thought our sensei was just a blood-thirsty sadist of a miser.

If I ever got the chance, I was so introducing him to Kakuzu.

The two of them would make the best of friends.

* * *

I found myself surrounded by trees.

"Kai"

Nothing.

"Kai!"

Still nothing.

"Jashin damn it! KAI!" Ao's genjutsu broke.

"And that was a low level, obvious genjutsu too. Tsk, tsk Toki. I know you have excellent chakra control. I expect better" Ao's glare made me almost wish to be trapped in the forest illusion again.

"A higher level genjutsu. Less obvious. I will give you no warning" he continued.

I was already having difficulties with his weaker stuff!

But, with Ao, everything was trial by fire.

I just mentally braced myself, watching for even the slightest hint the world around me was false.

* * *

We were allowed the last two days before the final matches to recover from our respective trainings. Kisame and Mangetsu were also allowed to go to the Kumo medics to have their wounds healed.

Me, I got to flinch every time Ao-sensei moved, thinking he was going to stick me in another genjutsu.

The hunter's tactics were vicious, there was no denying that.

But they worked.

Kisame was now used to facing much faster opponents with sharp blades. He would only use the chakra stones in his necklace as a last resort.

Mangetsu could practically sense senbon now. The smallest flicker of movement would send him into a wicked fast dodge or counter maneuver.

As for me, I had a very firm grip on reality now. I found myself very sensitive to if I was in a genjutsu or not. And Ao had relentlessly drilled me until I could break all but his strongest illusions.

I had come to think of genjutsu like glass. You tap that right spot with enough force and it all comes shattering down.

It was just finding that spot which could be an issue.

"No matter how these spars end, you three should be proud of yourselves. I will personally add recommendations of your promotions to chuunin to the report that will be given to Mizukage-sama" Ao informed us as we walked to the stadium where the matches were being held.

All of us gaped at him.

Ao very rarely gave praise. And it was never undeserved.

"You are one of the only two complete teams to make it this far" Ao explained with a smirk at us. "All that remains is for you to show your opponents why they should fear shinobi of the Bloody Mist".

"Hai sensei!" we all grinned. Probably looked like a bunch of lunatics too.

The first match was between two shinobi I didn't know. I only recognized one as having been Kurenai's partner in the second exam.

"Hajime!" called the chuunin proctor.

"My most youthful partner! I am sad that we did not get to train! But I am sure your fires of youth will burn bright nonetheless!" Guy gave his million-watt smile to Kisame as the first spar's chaos ensued.

"No, I'm sure yours will be much brighter" Kisame rolled his eyes.

Cue the stream of happy tears on Guy's face "Yosh! I have been acknowledged by one of my eternal rivals! I should jog around Kumo a thousand times to celebrate!"

"Not again" Genma sighed, obviously used to the Green Beast's antics.

"You can't Guy" Kurenai put a hand to catch his collar and stop him. "Your spar is up next".

"Ah, I forgot! It would be most unyouthful not to spar with my waiting opponent!" Guy stopped, coming back to eagerly wait for his match.

"Shark, we soon shall see, which is better, you or me" B slung an arm around Kisame's shoulder as he appeared.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get too confident" Kisame gave B a feral grin. A feral grin that was actually almost friendly.

"B's also been wanting to know, how did that idea you had go?" the rapper smirked.

"He and Toki are together together now. Not whatever they were earlier" Mangetsu answered, overhearing the question.

"He asked me, not you, idiot" Kisame snarled.

"I am glad, I think otherwise you, Shark, would be very sad" B chuckled.

"A most youthful and passionate love!" Guy gave his patented thumbs up pose in approval.

I sighed, deciding to just watch the matches and not comment. Though from the heat on my face, I probably was as red as a tomato.

* * *

"Finally. My turn" Kisame grinned as his match with B was announced. B lept over the wall and into the arena. The Shark paused only to kiss my forehead. "For good luck" he grinned at me before following after his opponent.

"So cheesy" Mangetsu complained.

"I actually find myself agreeing" Genma made a disgusted face.

"It needs to be fixed" Mangetsu continued.

"Seconded" the senbon user commented.

"I thought you two hated each other" I snapped at them.

"We do" my white-haired team mate assured me.

"But that... ick. He needs help" Genma added "I am willing to put aside my hatred to fix that".

"As am I" Mangetsu chirped.

"So glad you two want to butt in" I grumbled.

"It's disgustingly sappy. We can't help it" my fellow senbon user made a gagging expression.

"It must be fixed. Trust me, Toki-chan, you'll thank us later" Mangetsu patted my hair.

"I'm just going to apologize now for my teammate" Kurenai sighed "I know I can't stop him".

"Hajime!" the call to begin the match successfully brought our attention back to the field.

For a moment, neither moved. B and Kisame sized each other up.

Then both were suddenly moving.

At first it was primarily taijutsu, neither reaching for their blades.

Suddenly things got serious. B jumped back, falling into a position I recognized as he cloaked himself in suspiciously red chakra.

"Lariat!" he lunged towards Kisame at wicked speeds.

Impact.

Severe damage.

Then, Kisame turned into a puddle of water. A water clone.

"So that's how you want to play it" the Shark chuckled. "Let's see this kenjutsu of yours" his blade flashed as he struck.

B was forced in dodging as he brought out his seven swords, charging them with lightning.

"How the hell do you even _do_ that?" Kisame tilted his head at B's signature Seven Sword Dance.

Instead of answering, B attacked again. The battle became flashing metal and the clang of steel as two kenjutsu prodigies clashed. B was faster, his movements blurring as he moved.

Kisame however was blocking and countering his faster opponent like it was nothing. I grinned, recognizing some of his movements.

Okaa-san's insistence on dance lessons seemed to be paying off.

The two broke apart, neither backing down. "Soon you'll fear, for the victor of this battle is clear" B launched one of his electrified swords at Kisame before immediately going into another Lariat.

Kisame moved out of the way a fraction too slow, getting grazed. He ignored his new wound chuckling again. "I agree. Play time is over. Time to end this". He made hand signs rapidly as B charged him. Kisame smirked. "Suiton: Daikōdan no Jutsu".

The Great Water Shark Bomb. I didn't know he could pull this upgraded version off.

The massive jutsu formed rushing towards B as he continued his Lariat into the bomb.

For a moment, it seemed like B would actually cut through the powerful jutsu.

But the Shark smirked again as the tail of his water shark passed him. "Raiton: Jibashi". Electricity flared in a deadly net around him, catching the tail of his shark... and electrifying it.

The shark bomb exploded, with B still in the middle of it.

Silence fell as everyone stared in shock.

B...?

"Woo! I guess I'll have to take a seat! You Shark have got me beat!" the jinchuuriki coughed from his spot on the ground. He was alive, but down for the count.

"Winner: Kisame Hoshigaki of Kirigakure".

Kisame strolled over to B offering a hand. "You're hell of an opponent to fight. We should do this again sometime".

B grinned, accepting the hand and pulling himself up with a wince "One day it'll be your turn, to feel loss' burn".

"You wish" accompanied by a smirk... and to my surprise Kisame extended his fist.

B's grin got wider and he knocked fists before they both made their way off the field.

"A most youthful exchange!" came Guy's approval.

* * *

"Too bad helping Kisame has to wait until after this. Be back soon Toki-chan!" Mangetsu jumped down into the arena.

"Hmph. This shouldn't take long. Then we'll work on fixing the Shark" Genma following after him.

"Don't underestimate me, needle-freak!" Mangetsu snapped, taking his position opposite Mangetsu.

"What's there to underestimate?" Genma returned, causing Mangetsu to bare his own sharp teeth in a snarl, reminiscent of Kisame.

"Heh. He's got Snowy riled up. This should be fun" Kisame chuckled, having rejoined me in the stands.

"The youthful fire of these rivals does burn bright!" Guy chirped.

"Needle guy shouldn't be too showy, if he wants to beat Snowy" B added.

"Shouldn't you be at the medics?" I asked.

"I heal fast, plus B wants to see how long this fight will last" he replied, grinning.

"Hajime!"

Unlike the brief pause with Kisame's and B's match, there was instant motion as Genma threw senbon. Mangetsu used his blade to knock them out of the air before launching into a straightforward attack.

I knew Mangetsu didn't have much ninjutsu wise, he preferred relying on his kenjutsu.

I figured Genma was probably the same.

So this would really be a battle of senbon vs sword.

When Mangetsu got too close, Genma had to resort to taijutsu to fend him off and knock him back before throwing more needles at him.

The only downside to senbon was that he'd run out eventually, so he was being conservative with his hits.

All of which had Mangetsu constantly moving to dodge and counter. After being drilled by Ao and myself, Mangetsu became a very hard target to hit.

But Genma was smart, thinking in a strategy. He tossed senbon in one direction, causing Mangetsu to dodge... and step on senbon from earlier.

The white haired male yelped, pausing briefly. Genma launched more senbon at him.

Mangetsu snarled, using his blade and arm to block the senbon. Poor Snowy's arm looked like he'd been fighting a porcupine.

Suddenly, Mangetsu melted into water, causing the senbon to clatter to the ground.

"A water clone?" Genma looked around, thinking the real Mangetsu elsewhere.

Kisame and I knew what this really was.

It wasn't a water clone, but the kekkei genkai of the Hōzuki clan. Mangetsu didn't use it often.

There was a rush of water around Genma, and he found himself with Mangetsu holding him in a choke hold, blade to his throat.

"Yield" Mangetsu's voice was dangerous, his sword arm bleeding from being stuck so much.

"I forfeit" Genma sighed.

"Winner: Mangetsu Hōzuki of Kirigakure".

Mangetsu released Genma and both of them made their way back up to the stands.

* * *

"Next match: Kurenai Yūhi of Konohagakure vs Toki Sudachi of Kirigakure".

I took a deep breath, readying myself to face of against Kurenai. I hoped I made the others proud. Especially a certain Shark.

"Good luck, Toki-chan" Mangetsu grinned at me as he wrapped his injured arm.

"Kick her ass, Koneko" Kisame smirked.

I gave them a feeble smile before following Kurenai down into the arena.

"Now then, Kisame. While Toki-chan is busy. There's some serious work that needs to be done" Mangetsu shot him a look.

"What are you talking about?" Kisame growled.

"Your flirting is atrocious" Genma spoke up.

"And what would you know, Leaf?" the Shark turned on him.

"More than you" the senbon user retorted.

"Let us help you, Kisame. Trust us. We wouldn't be interfering if it wasn't as horrible as it is" Mangetsu smirked. "Plus we'll throw in an education about females in general".

"I'm going to regret asking what you have in mind aren't I?" the Shark mentally cursed his curious side.

"Of course not. Now, first thing's first..."

_Down in the arena_

"Hajime!"

The trouble with genjutsu is that often, the user doesn't have to make a single hand sign. There's no warning. The simplest motion could be an attempt to ensnare the mind.

So I was unsurprised to find Kurenai attempting to get close for a taijutsu match. Easier to conceal a genjutsu that way

Nope. Not happening lady.

"Raiton: Jibashi" yes, the Earth Flash again, but the electric currents near me forced her back.

Back to where senbon and my kusarigama were safe options.

"Rai Ken" cue electrified senbon that she had to dodge as I used the speed boost to get further away.

I dropped the lightning blade once satisfied with the distance.

This was easy.

Too easy.

"Kai" I flared my chakra. Her genjutsu shattered, and I found us both back in our starting positions. Sneaky sneaky Kurenai.

"Impressive" she smiled at me "I didn't think you'd notice".

"I know you'd put up more of a fight then that" I decided to go for the kusarigama then. She'd seen the Earth Flash and the senbon.

But the sickle-chain was still a mystery.

I was more cautious this time, since the chain required being closer.

I couldn't trust reality.

_Back up in the stands_

"This is a lot of information" Kisame grouched, while attempting to pay attention to both Koneko's match and to the rather impressive lecture on flirting he was receiving.

"Too bad Kisame. Suck it up. Now, two words you never want to hear from a woman. I'm fine. That's a dangerous lie. Usually means she's pissed at something" Mangetsu continued.

"It's usually best to ask if she wants to talk when you get that. If she's angry enough she'll just tell you what's going on" Genma added.

"I can smell lies you know" the Shark protested.

"Not this one. Because they often conceal it as the truth"Mangetsu shook his head.

"I'm really second guessing my decision to listen to you two".

_In the arena_

"Kai!" Jashin damn, Kurenai was good with genjutsu. I'd almost been fooled again.

She'd done numerous illusions in our match, I'd lost count.

Each one had been so real.

I was really developing a hated for genjutsu.

I'd also discovered she was far too fast for the kusarigama. Which made me reliant on senbon and what other jutsu I had.

And I was running low on chakra.

Precise control or not, breaking a genjutsu took effort.

The only plus side was that Kurenai looked as worn as I did. Creating all those illusions had to have been draining her too.

She was gradually slowing. Still not quite enough for the kusarigama to be effective.

But enough for a faster technique. One I hadn't been tricked into showing her by genjutsu.

"Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu" the electric cat launched itself at her.

She was fast.

It was faster.

It hit.

Something was wrong.

Jashin damn it all to _**hell**_!

"KAI!" I snarled, shattering the illusion.

"You fight well" I felt a kunai at my neck. Kurenai was wheezing beside me. "I've never had such an issue keeping someone trapped. A little more and you'd have me beat".

"Winner: Kurenai Yūhi of Konohagakure".

She dropped her kunai with a weak smile.

I'd lost.

"Thank you for the match" I sighed.

"Don't be down on yourself. I was being honest with you" she flared her chakra enough for even a non-sensor to register it.

That genjutsu she'd won with had been the last one she'd been able to do.

Somehow that didn't make me feel much better.

* * *

"We'll be heading back to Mist tomorrow. Make sure to say your farewells" Ao informed us as we headed back to the hotel "You all fought very well".

"Down be too down on yourself Toki-chan" Mangetsu patted my head. "You never stayed caught long".

"I guess there's that" I moped.

I knew I wasn't unbeatable. I had figured she'd win. But to have come so damn close...

That's what stung.

"Koneko, it's alright. Mangetsu isn't lying to you. You were never caught more than a few seconds. And you almost had the Leaf kunoichi. It's not like you got your ass handed to you" Kisame attempted comfort. "Besides, I bet you thought she'd win from the start, yes?"

I gave the Shark a flat look.

"Thought so. Koneko, if you continue to think someone will win, that's what will happen" Kisame gave me a light knock on the head. "Change it up. Think about how _you're_ going to kick _their_ ass. And that's what'll happen instead".

"And winning or losing those match guarantees nothing" Ao reminded us all. "It's completely up the the Mizukage, after he sees the report, if any of you become chuunin".

I'd almost forgotten about that.

Yagura-puppet controlling our promotions. That was real uplifting.

Wonder if Tobito would promote any of us.

* * *

_Curse you fight scenes! Why must you be so difficult to write? So... not a complete ass-kicking. But she still lost._

_Will Kisame listen to that lecture? (Which was purposefully mostly left out) :P_

_Fun fact – So far in the document I keep it in, this story is 65 pages, 12 point font, single spaced. And the Chibi-Arc is lasting longer than I thought it would. Guess that's what happens when you get a good muse ^^ (and have epic writing music playing)_

_**Next time –**__ "__You realize failure is not tolerated in the Bloody Mist"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Kyoichi – Hehe, I adore the Chibi Shark as well. Hope you enjoyed the exams ^^_

_Wayward – I'm glad you liked it :) I'm doing my best not to make things too fast. Ao and Snowy are so fun to write. They make me giggle when ever they get screen time. And I shall! I fully intend for many more laughs to be had!_

_Ryouka (x3? x4?) – Thank you! I'm flattered that you look for updates so often! And any attention this gets is adored, review or no ^^ I'm glad you're happy with the update speed. I try. My history? What do you mean? And yes, purring Sharks are awesome ^^_

_Imagine – Thank you! And I know. About time, ne?_

_Eternal – I apologize. Should I turn down the fluffyness? And the Shark deserves praise. Toki is a stubborn Kitten. As loyalty is a MAJOR part of Kisame's overall character, I don't think we have to worry about willing separation. Here, have another update _

_Ie-Maru – Chibi Sharks are so adorable it should be illegal. That date was so easy to write, and so much fun too ^^_

_Green – Here, have another! :P_

_West – Not completely. But a loss is a loss._

_Arcami – Thank you again for the suggestion. You gave the Shark his chance to pounce. That's not a bad idea. Would have to occur after she got her Contract though which actually isn't for awhile... Be exceedingly funny though xD_

_Shanny – Akira will have a complete fangirl moment when she finds out xD_

_Draconis – Hehe, I'm glad you like it! And Kisame is willing to do a lot of things for Toki. Including approaching B. Ao and Kakuzu would be the best of friends. -hands over fries- Here ya go :P_

_Wind – That comment made me laugh xD Thank you!_

_Bloody – I've never watched that so I have no idea o.o _

_Ceres – Guy's youthfulness is overflowing! At all times! Glad you found that funny ^^_

_Kakashi (x2) – Thank you! I still think I'm not really good at them, but I'm glad you like them :3 And Okaa-san seems to be a favorite xD Yes, Toki is not from there. She just doesn't dwell on that fact. After all, this world is her home now. She'd so totally choose Naruto-verse over our world. xD_

_Anime – I'm sorry you died ._. But glad you came back! Should I tone down the cuteness then?_

_Yuuki – Just as planned xD I'm glad you liked that scene it was fun to write. And you'll be seeing that very soon. Chibi Arc is winding down. Just a little bit more to go._

_Rose – Hope you liked them!_

_Nazebaka – More epic poetry! Yay! :3 Score! I have achieved OTP status! Thank you ^^ I'm doing my best to at least finish the Chibi-Arc before school starts back up here. As it's turning out longer than expected, I don't know if I'll succeed ._. And yes, Kurenai won, but not by much. And the heart to heart extends over to Team dysfunctional as well ^^ _

_Cat – Don't worry, I procrastinate on school too xD Ooh Singapore? That's awesome :3 As for Shark growls, I imagine that you're probably very close with that guess._

_Mistress – Hehe, thank you :D And Kisame is a very patient person when it comes to Toki. Other people? Not so much. Oh dear gosh, I could hear that lame fishing joke xD And slightly, yes. Chakra suppression wasn't of much use, but perfect control means not being able to be held captive long._

_Fan – Glad you like it ^^ Here, have a chapter!_

_Scarlet – Thank you! And here you go :)_

_Shadow – Sharks must be immune to dizziness, I believe xD And exceedingly patient _

_Ajisai – Hehe I know. About time! Almost but not quiet. But it's not a sound ass kicking at least? But she really wasn't ever captive very long._

_Ketsueko – Oops... my bad. Should I tune it down? :P I' glad you like it and hope I can continue to entertain!_

_Guest – Thank you! :3_

_December – I know. The slow pokes. And thank you ^^ And poor Toki , having to deal with Ao's trial by fire methods._

_Nomurai (x2) – Alas, I don't know if I could've kept up that many rhymes. B by himself takes me a few moments to think of something xD And Team Flirt was fun to write (even if they hate each other). Thank you, I'm glad you find them adorable! It's the whole posessive Shark thing. It'll tune down I swear. It's the newness and whatnot. It'll become more natural. And Twilight? -twich- I sincerely apologize. Excuse me while I go hide in the corner of writing shame. As further apology I granted your request. -goes to corner of SHAME for coming off as a Twilight romance-_


	16. Why Koneko Hates Lollipops

_Farewell to the non-Kiri characters for now. You may see them again later :P_

_I thank you again for all the attention that this story has gotten_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

No Beta

* * *

"I will miss you, my second eternal rival! We shall write youthful letters to each other or I shall make the trek between Konoha and Kiri ten thousand times as punishment!" Guy hugged Kisame, sunset background included.

The Shark looked horrified at both the touch and the idea. "Yeah. Sure. Let go of me" he attempted to dislodge Guy with no success.

"Guy. We have to go" Kurenai scolded.

"We should've left already" Genma added, sending a scathing look at Mangetsu. The look was returned.

"I apologize! How unyouthful of me to keep you waiting! Farewell Kisame!" Guy released him and bounded over to his team.

"I'm surprised you don't inflict violence when he does that" Mangetsu mused.

"I would... but I have a sneaky feeling he would not react as intended" Kisame shuddered, brushing himself off like he was dirty.

"B will miss you all, if you need me just call" B ruffled my hair, before offering his fist in farewell.

"See you around B" I smiled, knocking my fist against his. B shared Naruto's ability to cheer almost anyone up.

"You're the only cool person around Kumo. Don't be a stranger" Mangetsu smirked, coming over to do the same.

Kisame took a few moments to finish brushing himself off before approaching B for the goodbye gesture as well. "Yeah, you're not half bad" that was the best B was getting out of him.

B just smirked, having gotten used to Kisame's brash nature. "I told ya Shark, that to be friends would not be off the mark".

"Whatever, rapping idiot" but Kisame gave him a grin.

"Let's go" Ao dragged out attention back to him as he set out. It was either leave with him now or get left behind.

So, we followed after him, giving last waves to the others.

* * *

The poor toll guard of before hid when he saw that it was us again as we traveled back to Mist.

"That just confirms that he's mentally scarred by our terrifying sensei" Mangetsu chuckled as we passed by.

"Was there ever really doubt about that?" Kisame scoffed.

"Poor guy" I shook my head.

"I'll admit that speed of retreat was rather impressive" Ao mused, perfectly content with not having to pay the toll a second time. "Maybe I should incorporate that sort of thing into when I'm training brats like you three".

"Sensei. You already do. We're terrified witless of you" Mangetsu stated flatly.

"Seconded" I nodded. Ao was not someone to mess with.

"There is only one person who scares me more. If you ever gain the ability to defy logic, sensei, then you'll be the most terrifying person in existence" Kisame added. He still held a deep respectful fear for my mother.

Ao chuckled. "You'll be off to other things soon little genin. The report about the exam results will reach Kiri before we do. With any luck, Mizukage-sama will have made his decision by the time we get there".

Well, there goes my good mood. Thanks for the reminder, sensei.

_A few days later_

"Finally" Ao sighed in relief as the familiar mists of Kiri surrounded us. "Let's go see the Mizukage".

"Looks like we weren't really missed" Mangetsu pouted as people just glanced at us, then proceeded to ignore us.

Typical Kirigakure. Always so warm and fuzzy,

"Not like we were expecting a grand welcome" the Shark pointed out.

"I know. But at least some family or friends at the gate would've been nice" the other protested.

"I'm sure that there's a sufficiently embarrassing welcome waiting at your house, Snowy" Kisame chuckled.

Despite the familiar banter of my team, I sighed.

I really didn't want to have to be a genin any longer.

But that decision was in the hands of a certain Lollipop.

* * *

"So you've all returned" Yagura's expression was a poker face that could rival even Itachi's.

"Hai, Mizukage-sama" Ao dipped his head. "I present my three students for your decision on their exams and promotions".

"Of course. I was expecting this" the Sanbi jinchuuriki motioned us forward as Ao fell back a few steps.

"Hoshigaki, Kisame. Step forward". The Shark obeyed. "According to this, you passed all three of your exams rather impressively" Yagura tapped a paper on his desk once before leaning back in his chair. "You are also acknowledged as a skilled fighter by both Ao and Fuguki".

There was a pause. Apparently even Tobito likes to pause for dramatic effect.

"Congratulations. You are now a chuunin of the Bloody Mist".

"Thank you, Mizukage-sama" Kisame stepped back.

"Hōzuki, Mangetsu. Step forward". Snowy did so without hesitation. "You also passed all three of your exams. You are also claimed to be highly skill by the current Swordsmen and Ao".

Another dramatic pause.

Lollipop must be fond of these.

"You are also promoted. Congratulations, you are now a chuunin of the Bloody Mist".

"Thank you, Mizukage-sama" Mangetsu dipped his head as he stepped back.

"Sudachi, Toki. Step forward".

I took a steadying breath, and obeyed.

"You passed the first two exams" Yagura was staring at me. I felt like I wanted to shrink into the floor. "You failed the last one. Against a genin of Konogakure".

My instincts screamed to start running.

"You realize that failure is not tolerated in the Bloody Mist" said with lethal softness.

Well, it was nice being alive while it lasted.

There was a deadly sort of silence in the room. I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

I could sense my team having gone rigid behind me.

I still waited.

...Where was the order?

The movement from some ANBU member to end me?

Something...?

I opened my eyes again.

Yagura hadn't moved and was still staring at me with that infernal poker face.

"However" he finally spoke "It was said you had the most astounding aptitude for escaping genjutsu".

_Please_ tell me I hadn't caught Tobito's attention.

Death was better than that!

"You are also highly praised by Ao, saying you're skilled" the Mizukage continued. "Therefore, my decision is this".

Another pause.

Jashin damn your love of dramatic pauses you stupid Lollipop!

"Congratulations. You are now a chuunin of the Bloody Mist".

Wait.

What?

"Though, you must show _significant_ improvement. Show me that you are worth Kirigakure's time. Otherwise, I may reconsider" words practically dripping killer intent.

"Hai. Thank you, Mizukage-sama".

"You'll be needing these" Yagura snapped his fingers and an ANBU holding three chuunin jackets appeared. The ANBU presented them to us and vanished again. "Now. Dismissed".

We left quickly.

_A moment later_

A familiar figure wearing an orange mask chuckled.

That look of fear on the kunoichi's face, and the collective reaction of her team...

Ah, that had been something.

Very amusing indeed.

He could feel his smirk fade as he began to think.

That team...

The Shark had some promise. Could possibly aid his ultimate goal.

He'd watch and wait. He was good at that.

He could care less about the snow haired one.

The girl...

She could be an issue.

Perhaps he was over thinking things...

After all she'd just been against another genin.

Escaping that sort of genjutsu was nothing special.

Still... he didn't like possible problems.

Well, there were the rumors about _them_.

Yes, they were growing restless. They'd become violent soon enough.

This Village was already unfriendly to people like her and the snow haired one.

After the attack he'd knew would come, the people here would demand blood.

He knew just the clan to offer up to the fire first.

Yes, that would solve his issue perfectly.

* * *

As soon as we were outside, Ao stopped us. "As you know, I am no longer your sensei. Take care of yourselves. Don't do anything stupid".

"Hai, Ao-sensei" the old suffix was ingrained.

"Toki" Ao fixed me with a stare of his own.

Oh joy, was I going to get lectured by him too?

"You come with me. I have an offer for you. You two" a look at Kisame and Mangetsu "are free to go". Ao motioned for me to follow.

I gave Kisame and Mangetsu an apologetic smile.

"See ya around, Toki-chan" Mangetsu waved me off.

"We'll talk later, Koneko" the Shark stated with a serious look on his face.

Apparently everyone wanted to talk to me today.

Didn't that just make me feel special?

I followed after Ao, finding us headed back to my team's... my old team's training grounds.

This was going to take some serious adjusting.

Ao paused finally. "I don't think I need to tell you, Toki, how lucky you are to still be alive".

"No... I'm aware, sensei" I looked at the ground.

I was happy to still be breathing.

But I highly doubted having caught Tobito's interest could mean anything good for my future.

"The Mizukage has given you a chance to prove yourself. You need to take it, or you'll be killed" Ao was blunt.

"Hai, sensei".

"Which brings me to my offer" Ao's gaze was calm. Determined. "It is uncommon for a hunter to teach someone personally. But, when it occurs, their student can become a hunter-nin without having to deal with the Academy's tripe".

Where was he going with this?

"You have aptitude, Toki. You're quick witted, good with your ranged weapons and lightning ninjutsu. Along with your kekkei genkai, yes I am aware of it, you'd make a deadly hunter" Ao smirked "I offer to become your shishou. To train you in the ways of the hunter-nin. You'll effectively be ANBU level, once I'm done with you and you pass the test".

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Make no mistake Toki. I would not offer this if I didn't think you capable. You must do something to impress the Mizukage. So, then, what do you say? You want to learn how to make your students think you capable of scaring biju?" a more friendly grin as he referenced our constant complaints about how terrifying he was.

Well, this was unexpected to say the least.

"Hai sen-" I corrected myself "Shishou. I would be honored to learn more from you".

"Good. We start in two days. Meeting here at the usual time. I hope your ready for hell, little _Koneko_" Ao purposefully used Kisame's nickname "Because that's what you're about to go through".

I was regretting this decision already.

* * *

I was almost home when I was stopped.

All of a sudden I found myself trapped in a tight hug from a very familiar Shark.

"Kisame" I didn't even attempt breaking free.

I severely needed this hug.

"I'm glad you're alright" a simple statement. But Kisame was always blunt like this. It was just his nature.

"I am too" I agreed. Even if it did mean having to deal with evil Lollipops.

I did still have the Shark.

"What did Ao want?" he hadn't released me.

"To offer to become my shishou and teach me the ways of the hunter-nin".

Kisame sighed. "Koneko, you're going to be the death me. Now I'm going to worry about you constantly".

"Says the guy training to be one of the Seven Swordsmen".

"Touché" he chuckled. Then it darkened into a scowl. "I didn't like the way Yagura talked to you. Acting like your life was meaningless".

An angry rumble came from him, morphing into a feral snarl. "And not being able to do a damn thing about it...".

"Kisame, I'm alright. I'm still alive". For the moment at least.

"I know. And I'm well aware I am not a match for the damn Mizukage" determination sparked in his gaze "But I intend to change that. I will become a shinobi to be feared".

Oh, Kisame if only you knew.

"I'm sure you'll be S-class in no time" because there was no way he wouldn't be.

This got Kisame to laugh again. "And people don't mess with someone that's with an S-rank shinobi. That's just asking to get killed in a slow and painful manner".

I felt myself smile.

It was good to have a guard Shark.

Even if he was still more fluff than fang even now.

Though, he was growing fast. I forced myself to acknowledge that.

Kisame already looked slightly older than he was.

It wouldn't be long until I found myself facing the bad ass Shark I'd known from canon.

"I bet you'll be S-class right there with me too" he continued.

"I doubt that one" I shook my head.

"You're going into intensive hunter training. Koneko, if you don't get S-class, there is something seriously wrong with the world" Kisame moved one arm from around me to knock me lightly on the head.

I laughed. "Alright, alright. You win. We'll be kick-ass shinobi together".

"That's more like it" he grinned.

"Kisame" I gathered my courage and moved to kiss him lightly. My first time initiating things. "Thank you".

He turned an interesting shade of purple, coughing slightly. "Yeah... welcome..." he was obviously struggling for words.

Apparently I could have the same effect of brain-frying as he had on me.

"Oh ho~ Do carry on~" a familiar voice chimed.

I felt myself turn a bright red as Kisame and I froze.

"Okaa-san... Taidama" I looked over cautiously.

I honestly had been almost home.

And we'd basically been standing out in the open.

Really should've expected my mother she-who-defies-logic to see this scene.

"Okaerinasai, Toki-chan" Mom smiled a Cheshire smile "Something you need to tell me, hm?"

"Akira-san" Kisame released me before stepping forward to give my mother a polite bow. "Forgive my rudeness. May I please have permission to date your daughter?"

Jashin, those words did _not_ sound right coming out of Kisame's mouth.

My mother blinked.

A moment of silence.

"Okaa-san?" I asked hesitantly.

Then she pounced, hugging both of us simultaneously "Kyaaa~! Finally! It's about time! I'm so happy for both of you! You have any idea how long I've been waiting?! HMM?!" Mom was snuggling both of us tightly.

"A-Akira...s-san... can't..." Kisame gasped for air.

"A-air...O-kaa...san..." I wheezed.

Mom released us. "Come in, Kisame-chan! If you're dating our dear Toki-chan we can't have you eating alone!"

With that she started to physically drag us inside.

There was no escape for either of us.

"And this is why she still terrifies me more than Ao-sensei" Kisame muttered to me softly.

"Don't worry. I completely agree with you" I murmured back.

* * *

_Evil Lollipops are the worst. Especially scheming ones._

_Am I allowed out of the corner of writing shame yet for coming off as a Twilight romance? I don't like it here :(_

_**Next time**__ – __I hadn't seen much of him since our chuunin lives began. Jashin damn, I missed that Shark._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal – Thank you! Fight scenes are the bane of my existence, so I'm glad you liked them ^^ And as B helped with Toki, a certain Shark likes him more than he did before. The lecture was a suggestion actually. I'm glad it fit in as well as it did xD The cuteness is slowly morphing into the the Shark we know and love. But the fluff will not disappear! Here, have an update :P_

_Inseparable – No, please... not the Mary Sue label -twitch- Anything but that! And Thank you :3_

_Imagine – I'm sort of glad B drops out of the story for awhile now. I love him, but ll those dang rhymes... It makes things difficult. And thank you! I did my best on them ^^;_

_Wind – Kisame and Toki aren't that hasty. That and the Shark would keep Guy away with a ten foot pole if possible. And here we have the whole story behind that preview. Lollipops are not to be trusted._

_Ie-maru – Kisame is well aware of his limits. He knew he couldn't do jack squat, which is why he was so upset. Toki escapes with her life. For now._

_Shadowelf – I'm glad you liked them! :)_

_Kasai – Yep, she lost. But at least it wasn't a complete fail. And hehe, you do have a point. Kisame was probably considering that fact the entire lecture xD_

_Ceralyn – The canon fight was epic beyond words. I did not even come close to it. And poor Toki indeed. I know I'd detest genjutsu with a passion if I was in the Naruto universe._

_Ryouka (x2) – Thank you ^^ And Kisame's inner Shark is like a more feral conscious. Logic has no power there. And I apologize, as I mentioned before I'm not the best with Spanish. It's been some time since I had to read/write/speak it ^^; I shall convert you all to Toki and Kisame shippers! -evil smile-_

_Creepy – Thank you! And here have an update :P_

_Arcami – Yagura/Tobi is plotting. That's not much better. And Toki is not nearly powerful enough to counter the hax that is Sharigan mind control. And thanks! I'm glad you like it :D_

_White – I know, but hey, what can you do? Not like anyone would've been able to stop them. And I'm sure Kisame was reminding himself, if not them, of this fact the entire lecture. And yes, better a loss here than there. And now she gets to deal with Ao even more. I think I may be torturing my own character. Lollipops are evil. Never trust them._

_Yami – Thank you! I'm glad you like it :D I find myself agreeing with you. Kisame with his trust issues would require knowing someone for a very long time to be romantically interested. And Yagura/Tobi is most displeased with her not passing. And now the Lollipop is scheming horrible things. Yes! Successful Mary Sue evasion! Ao's about to beat that last bit of skittishness out of her with his intense training. Toki will never enjoy killing, but hesitation won't be an issue anymore. Not after what Ao has planned. And you're already having Toki about to brain-fry a chibi-Kisame. I imagine the effects won't go away, even once our Shark becomes the bad ass we know and love. You'll be seeing more of their teamwork in the last bit of the Chibi Arc and in the other two Arcs. There's a bit of separation due to chuunin/jounin life but they'll soon be epic partners._

_Puppet __–_ :)

_Nazebaka – No harm... not yet at least. But scheming Lollipops abound. Thank you, I did my best with them ^^; Kurenai is a sneaky opponent. And I'm still constantly surprised how much attention this is getting. I certainly didn't think it would! Pfft. I highly doubt people will be writing fanfiction about this one. It's a nice thought though xD to answer your question, There will be a slight time skip. But I'm thinking of doing a sort of passage of time chapter. Fluff and lolz galore; sort of just moments (often awkward ones) that occur before the main various chaos(es) of the next Arc. The next Arc begins at the EARLY days of canon. After Kurama, but before the Massacre. Because reasons. Hope that answers your question ^^_

_Rosebud – Hope I managed to surprise you :P_

_Kyoichi – There is no genjutsu, only scheming Lollipops._

_Cat -Of course! If you youtube Two Steps From Hell, and go into the play lists on their channel, you've got what I listen to as I write. Music of epic writing proportion ^^ My favorite play list I'd have to say is three way tie between the ones called 'Personal Favorites', 'Pathogen', and 'The Devil Wears Nada'. Possibly 'Skyworld' as well. And no poor Kisame is not nearly as good as they are at this sort of thing. But what he does seems to work on Koneko xD Adorably awkward for the win! It's really too bad Team Flirt detests each other -.-;_

_Shadow – Kisame and Toki won't be involved in the Nine-Tails attack, but it'll be mentioned into time-skip summary chapter that occurs before the official start of the next Arc. I'm going to say the Shark was somewhere in the middle of kid/guy_

_Jo-jo – We're almost to Kisame's defection, yes. Just a bit more. He was a jounin before he left, and this Kisame is only just now a chuunin. And you'll be seeing my version of why he left. It's been altered from the canon reasoning, but Toki plays a major part._

_Naruhina – He was eventually released from ANBU, and is currently on a genin team elsewhere while simultaneously training to master Kubikiribōchō._

_Kyprioth – You'll get to see something close to that after they've been separated awhile due to training business. XD Poor Toki is hitting puberty and as such is more aware of things than she'd like._

_Yuuki – Thank you! I'm glad they turned out okay ^^ And evil Lollipops are never to be trusted. EVER. We're slowly winding down the Chibi-Arc. Just a little bit more. And then... hehehehe. You shall see._

_December – Hope I didn't disappoint ^^_

_Ketsueko – Thank you! :D And I'm sorry. I'm really no good at fight scenes ;~;_

_Ceres – … BWHAHAHAHAHAA! xD Somehow I don't think Mangetsu or Genma would be amused with that assessment_

_Ophy – Done to show just what sort of advice they were giving/lecturing to Kisame :P Glad you enjoyed it!_

_Mistress – Yep, they got through, mostly intact. And Ao's about to beat that last bit of hesitancy out of her. Hesitation and hunter-nin simply do not mix. No torture. But plotting evil Lollipops are never good for anybody. _

_Chi – Thank you! I'm flattered your daughter like Toki :3 _


	17. Free Time Awkwardness

_Time continues to pass for our chibis. Or rather no-longer-so-chibis_

_Thank you all, as usual, for your kind attention_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning:** Shameless fluff, the awkwardness of growing up

No Beta

* * *

I gulped at the expression on Ao's face. Today began my hunter-nin training... and that creepy smile on his face spelled my imminent doom.

"You're on time" my now shishou mused.

"Hai...?" What could I have possibly done wrong already?

"Which means..." he suddenly tossed kunai at me, which I had to dodge. He'd been aiming for vital spots! "You're late".

How did being on time make me late?!

That made no sense!

"Fight for your life, Toki" Ao lunged, and I suddenly found myself in a no-holds-barred spar against a fully trained hunter intent on ending me. "A hunter must always be ready to strike before their prey. Expect no mercy. For you will receive none".

I yelped, barely avoiding a water jutsu aimed for my head.

Why, Jashin-sama, had I thought this was a good idea?!

"Fight. Or die. Your choice" Ao lunged with more senbon.

Too close!

I got gashed, my dodging too slow and Ao far more skilled than I was.

Need space!

"Raiton: Jibashi" the Earth Flash was wonderful for getting people to back off. Most people didn't want to get caught in the net of electricity.

Ao back flipped away, and I went for both my own senbon and kusarigama.

He wanted a fight?

I'd give him one.

Suddenly, Ao chuckled, easing out of his fighting stance. "There. That's what you need Toki".

...Huh?

"That determination. That spark of defiance. No hesitation. Hesitation to fight, to kill will mean your death in this line of work" he informed me.

Ao's grin turned into a wide vicious smirk. "So, I intend to beat that hesitation out of you. Literally".

Oh joy.

Is it too late to change my mind?

* * *

Ao's hunter training was both brutal and time consuming. Doing something wrong meant getting attacked and having to defend myself. I usually went back home at the end of the day covered in wounds, bruises, and limping.

I'd get fixed up by a medic and show up for more training the next day.

Days slowly started to turn into months.

We were now in year five of Yagura's six year reign.

I was now eleven, making Kisame twelve.

Speaking of him, Kisame's training with Fuguki must have been as time consuming as my own.

I hadn't seen much of him since our chuunin lives began. Jashin damn, I missed that Shark.

I mean the most interaction I'd gotten was the occasional wave as we passed by each other in the distance.

No affection.

No talking.

Hell, I hadn't even played with his hair in what felt like forever.

When someone has been at your side for years, you get used to them being there.

Simple human logic.

So, the fact the Shark _wasn't_ there and hadn't been for sometime was slowly getting on my nerves.

I refused to be one of those overly bothersome clingy type girls.

We could both be grown-ups and train with our respective teachers so that we could become skilled.

We were just both busy. We'd see each other more later...

...Jashin damn it.

I missed him.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

Growing stronger had been his goal.

And he was accomplishing that.

Fuguki-shishou was having to constantly think of ways to make training more difficult.

He was a natural with a blade, his style that of the straight-forward berserker.

He'd been also growing quickly, one of those boys that would constantly look older than he was until his age finally caught up with his appearance.

...But.

It had been some time since he'd last been able to be around his Koneko.

This bothered him.

She'd told him of her hunter training.

It would be good for her. Hopefully the terrifying being that was Ao would be able to cure that last bit of hesitation from her.

Then, she'd truly become a predator, like he'd known her to be capable of.

Though, she was never going to be a cat.

Not to him.

No, she'd always be Koneko.

And it had been too damn long since he'd been close to her.

He'd known they'd both be busy with their respective training, known they wouldn't see each other as often.

But this was ridiculous.

He had to deal with Snowy every day still.

Much to his displeasure, he'd even seen that twerp, Zabuza from time to time.

All more than he saw her.

Unacceptable.

His inner shark was most displeased, starting to become violent from its irritation.

Huh.

Who knew that she'd had a calming effect on it?

He hadn't.

Not until now, where his love of bloodshed and battle was starting to become nerve wracking.

Even to himself.

He forced himself to consider the question: what if he hurt her?

The violent reaction from both side of his mind soothed this.

_**No.**_

Not her.

He was no threat to her.

And never would be.

Still.

It had been too damned long.

He needed some time off.

Needed to see his Koneko.

Or there was going to be hell to pay.

* * *

"You have three days off" Ao informed me. "A reward for your progress. But if you become sloppy, I will make you regret it. And the words time off will become so foreign to you, you'll forget they mean anything. Am I clear?"

"Hai shishou. Thank you" I gave a relieved sigh. Some free time sounded amazing. I was not about to question it either.

Rule number one of dealing with Ao, never question a gift. He might take it back just to spite you.

"Now go. Do whatever you wish with your free time" I was dismissed.

Normally, I'd go home.

Or hang out with Kisame.

But, I didn't feel like going home.

And Kisame was still training.

Well... I suppose I could go watch?

Did the Swordsmen allow that?

Jashin damn it.

Looks like I was on my own.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

"You've done really well, Kisame" Fuguki grinned at him. "I think you deserve a reward".

He just stood there, waiting to see what this 'gift' was.

His shishou had the oddest timing, since they'd just finished a brutal round of sparring. His inner shark was still thrashing, the violence having stirred its blood-lust.

He ignored his inner shark with some difficulty.

The shirt he'd been wearing had gotten so shredded he'd had to discard it because it was useless.

This he also ignored.

"You have a few days off. Go. Relax. I know you've become tense" he was shooed away.

Well.

Now what?

He guessed he should head home.

Acquire a new shirt. He was comfortable in his own skin, sure.

Didn't mean he liked parading through Kiri, a Village full of liars, shirtless.

So, he turned, wondering what sort of torture Ao was inflicting on Koneko.

Perhaps he'd go watch her training.

Ao wouldn't mind.

Maybe.

Even as he started back through Kiri towards his home, a familiar scent caught his nose.

It was close by.

Was he hallucinating?

Curiosity won over the need for a shirt.

He turned, following it. Sure enough, around the corner, there she walked, her back to him.

Koneko.

He could feel his inner shark settle at the mere sight of her, blood-lust gone in an instant.

He couldn't help his soft chuckle.

She looked like a dejected kitten, wandering alone like that.

Shark and shirt issues were completely forgotten.

He simply started walking, intending to join her.

* * *

"You look like a depressed kitten, Koneko" a familiar voice that startled me, coming from behind.

"Kisame!" I whirled and instantly glomped him, hugging tightly. I knew this was more of my mother's style, but I didn't care.

I had been Shark deprived.

I was going to glomp him if I Jashin damn pleased.

"Missed me?" he chuckled, returning the hug.

"Oh don't act like you didn't miss me too, mister. I know better" I glared at him.

"No need to hiss, Koneko" he kissed my forehead, the look on his face surprisingly soft. "Of course I missed you".

Then I noticed a simple obvious detail I had missed before.

Kisame wasn't wearing a shirt.

I'd seen both him and Mangetsu shirtless during our time as genins.

But this was different.

I'd... well hit _that_ age.

Again.

Puberty. Where hormones start making logic a very difficult task to accomplish.

I'd like to say that I was handling this better than most females.

After all, I'd been through this before.

But this was proving me oh so very wrong.

Months of hard training and his constant growing had done wonders for Kisame.

I _knew_ he was only twelve.

He looked thirteen. Maybe even fourteen.

And the muscles...

Purr.

I belatedly registered the smug smirk that had appeared on Kisame's face due to prolonged staring.

I also realized I was still hugging him.

"See something you like, Koneko?" he teased, sharp teeth coming close as he leaned down to put his face near mine. Dratted Shark was taller than me too, and he wasn't even full grown yet.

Wait.

What was I doing again?

Curse his ability to distract me!

I released him from the hug like touching him burned, feeling myself blush.

"Aww. I was enjoying your appreciation" the Shark pouted at me.

"Shirt. Now. No buts" I snagged his hand, tugging him along.

"Yes ma'am" Kisame snickered, letting me all but physically drag him to his house.

* * *

"Alright, as per orders, I am now decent" Kisame was still highly amused, and smug about earlier. "Though,I must admit, I rather like the reaction. I might have to start going randomly without a shirt".

"Bite me" I snapped at him.

He was suddenly close, sharp teeth bared in a smirk "If you insist".

I wasn't falling for his empty threats any more. "And what if I do?"

"My, haven't you gotten bold?" Kisame leaned in closer. Sharp teeth mere inches away. "This due to your training, Koneko? I'm liking the results".

I had to deal with the terror that way Ao on a daily basis for a few months now.

The Shark wasn't going to scare me.

"Seems you listened when I told you that there was no more running away" a hand moved to idly twirl my hair.

I refused to back down.

"Be careful for what you wish for, little kitten" his voice came from beside my ear as he moved.

Nope.

Not scared of you, Shark.

"...You might just get it" his teeth gazed my skin before his pulled away. He offered a smirk. "Not today, however".

Aasdfgh! My heart was racing.

Jashin damn you Shark!

Don't do things like that!

"Kisame" I finally regained the ability to speak.

"Yes, Koneko?"

"You suck".

He burst into laughter. "If you say so".

* * *

Despite... whatever that was earlier, I fully intended to hang out with the Shark.

"How long until you have to go back?" I asked, having drug him back outside to wander the streets of Kiri.

Hopefully this would prevent anymore... awkwardness.

"A few days. You?" Kisame kept pace easily beside me.

"The same" I smiled.

"Good" I felt his arm being lazily wrapped around my waist. "I almost miss the genin insanity. At least then I got to see you often".

"I agree with that" I shook my head "You realize, since we're both free that Okaa-san will be expecting you to show up for dinner?"

Kisame chuckled "I am fairly sure your mother would skin me if I didn't. Your father would just shake his head and be stuck with cleaning up the mess".

"And to think that they approve of you" I laughed.

"I think my death would've been slow and painful if they hadn't" he shuddered.

Big bad Shark, kenjutsu prodigy, student of one of the Seven Swordsmen.

Scared of girlfriend's parents.

I couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"You're laughing at me. I can sense it" Kisame gave me a mock glare.

"Hard not to, considering the irony of it all" I snickered.

"Oi! Your parents are terrifying people" he protested "I can never tell what your dad's thinking. Especially since he never talks much. And then there's your mother..." Kisame shuddered again. "I would never want to get on her bad side. Not with her logic defying abilities".

"Yeah... Okaa-san could probably pull of awful stunts on someone she didn't like" I mused.

Kisame playfully tightened his hold, knocking me into him. "Don't wish such a horrible fate on me. I'll take the terrifying Akira-san that likes me".

And so the rest of the day went.

Walking, talking, his arm around me.

None of that awkward what not of earlier.

I had to admit. Being with him, it was easy.

My best friend turned... boyfriend?

I needed to find a better word than that.

Boyfriend was not a word one should use when describing S-class ninja to be, much less Sharks.

I decided to think about it later.

I'd just enjoy this free time with Kisame while it lasted.

* * *

**Omake – Girl Issues, Kisame POV**

He wasn't entirely sure what was wrong at first.

Koneko had snapped at him.

For no reason. Or at least none that he knew.

And it wasn't her usual hissing either.

She'd been sinking her proverbial claws into him and insistent on tearing him into shreds.

He admitted that he'd been both confused and scared.

Then he'd figured it out.

His inner Shark had noticed something off about her scent.

Worried, he tried placing the wrongness, wanting to identify it.

Realization.

Oh.

_That_.

Poor Koneko.

No wonder she was angry.

He acquired a gift and cautiously approached her again.

"Kisame, I'm sorry for earlier" she looked ashamed.

"Tch. Don't worry about it, Koneko. Here, to help you feel better" cue his gift of chocolate.

According to the lecture Mangetsu and the senbon-user had given him, it was supposed to help when this sort of... issue occurred.

He hoped they hadn't been lying to him.

Koneko's feeble smile told him that they'd been truthful. In this at least.

"Thank you... I'm still sorry about me behavior though" she accepted his chocolate.

"You can't help it" just as he couldn't help things about being a male or a shark.

It was just something he'd have to get used to.

Besides...

It was the other part of this cycle he was worried about.

* * *

_Not entirely happy with this one and I can't quite figure out why :/_

_**Next time –**__ "__You passed the jounin exams?!"_

"_Yep. Being assigned to the Cipher Division"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal – Yay Toki! Too bad she attracted the attention of evil Lollipops. And I do adore writing Akira-san. She's like my inner fangirl basically xD Here, have some more fluffiness, plus some awkward situations :P_

_Mein – Thank you! :3 I've been doing my best to get the first part or the Chibi Arc done before my school starts back, but I won't succeed, sadly. And thank goodness, that's good to hear. I'm glad I was able to surprise you like that. ^^ And I sent you a mail about that Beta offer, thank you._

_Creepy – Thank you :3_

_Ceres – Alas, chibi Shark is not so Chibi anymore. And that's entirely possible xD_

_Puppet - :)_

_Gun – Thank you very much ^^_

_White – Yep. I've incorpated those. Alas, plot essential. For a story bas on humor, this has some very dark events. But it __**is **__in the Bloody Mist._

_Ryouka – Here, have an update :P And some fluffy awkwardness_

_Arcami – Akira-san is doing a happy dance the entire time. And of course she will. She Toki's mom, that's what she does. As for Yagura/Tobito he doesn't actually order anything. He just nudges people in certain directions. Sneaky evil Lollipop. Hope the fluffy awkwardness didn't disappoint!_

_December – Here you go, some fluff to answer that question_

_Kakashi – They can be difficult, yes. Sometimes I had to sit there for a moment and think of rhymes._

_Silmara (x7) – Itachi is so a suicidal pacifist. I wonder how the Weasel pulls that off. Hehe, Kisame's not entirely trained. Of course he has an inner Shark. Though it's basically a more feral conscience. And hormones wreak havoc. As for the cats, many laughs will be had when they enter the picture. Bloody Mist doesn't give a crap about analytics. They just want people who'll fight well. And of course Ao didn't. She fails to impress the Mizukage, she dies. Very simple. And ja ne!_

_Nazebaka – Yay for the bio! :D And here, have a fluffy update_

_Music – You'll see soon. Tobito is not a nice Lollipop_

_Nomurai (x2) – Nope. I always planned for her to lose that match. Vs. Kurenai is not Toki's best match up. The flirting lecture gets gradually revealed. Like there in the Omake. There's more of it there :P I see. I suppose my point of view was that Kisame is growing quickly, and at the point he develops real 'attachment/love' he's hit puberty. Plus, as he's mentioned the life of a ninja, especially Bloody Mist ones tends to be very short. They have to grow up quickly. I'm not making any sense am I? -.-; I apologize. As for someone mentioning it, that's actually a good idea. I might include it in a flashback Omake sort of thing. Have the idea in his head before he hits puberty. And then once it hit, that thinking altered. I'm glad neither Toki nor Kisame is as bad as Bell and Edward -shudders- Thank you for the suggestion! ^^ Tobito is wary of he being resistant or possibly able to escape the effect of the moon plan. He points out that she __**was **__just fighting another genin so his worries are ill-founded. However, Tobito don't like even ill-founded worries and tends to be rid of them. Tou-san is neutral. Until Kisame hurts her. Then there shall be hell to pay._

_Ketsueko – Thank you! Lollipops are very evil. And yeah, I love writing Akira xD You get a glimpse of the brutality that is Ao-shishou and some awkward fluffiness. Hope you like it :P And Tobito isn't basically __**the **__villain of Naruto for nothing._

_Jo-jo – He came very close. And Lollipops are evil evil beings. And yes they do have very similar names. But with her distaste for the Lollipop I don't think Toki will ever admit it._

_Freedom – Thank you! And no stalking, just possessive sharks._

_TheQueen – Thank you ^^_

_Kyoichi – Tobi before the reveal was adorable. Tobito however is an evil Lollipop_

_Ajisai – Shh. Don't tell anybody. But that thing you mention, yes. There's a whole scene about Kisame's have an inner battle, and needing to make a quick choice. I've said too much even with that -shifty eyes- And thank you! I shall endeavor to continue being bad ass xD_

_Kida – Thank you! Have an update :)_

_Shadow – Because Yagura is currently Tobito's puppet. And Tobito's mask makes him look like a lollipop._

_Fire – You're welcome! Happy belated birthday! :)_

_Rlance – Thank you! I do my best. The Shark is certainly interesting to write ^^_

_Ie-maru – Actually it's just sheer bad luck. But rest assured, the Lollipop is waiting. He's a very patient evil mastermind. But yes, should Kisame have his attachment removed, Tobito would be most pleased. Hope you enjoyed the fluffy awkwardness!_


	18. To Hell In A Handbasket

_Long chapter is long._

_Thank you all again for your kindness in your attention to this story! -bows-_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning:** Violence, death

No Beta

* * *

"Nicely done, Toki" Ao praised kneeling beside our rogue prey to check his pulse. "He's dead alright. No chakra, no pulse". He started retrieving the senbon sticking out of the rogues neck "And no hesitation from you, either".

Ao's hunter training had progressed to where I was now being dragged along on low level hunts. These were considered the equivalent of B, sometimes A ranked missions, depending on who we were chasing.

I had only been given this 'privilege' after Ao had beaten more advanced weapons training and tracking skills into me.

I had thought myself competent at least with my senbon and kusarigama...

Ao had proven me very wrong in this assumption before drilling me until he'd been satisfied. He hadn't been satisfied until I'd reached what he referred to as 'hunter-nin level'. We'd then moved to tracking, continue weapons training on the side.

During tracking lessons, I would have to examine various terrain that an ANBU had _supposedly_ passed through. And I'd have to report the gender, direction, and how long ago the ANBU had been there.

The problem with this, I wasn't a sensor and didn't have any ninken. Therefore, I was at a distinct disadvantage by having to look for signs that novice genins were being trained _**not**_ to make. And Ao had started me off tracking seasoned Kiri ANBU.

Of course, Ao would also occasionally have me examine areas where nobody had been there, just to make sure his lessons were sinking in, violence ensuing should I even so much as hint I thought someone had been there.

After this came the actual hunts.

At first, it had just been me tagging along on hunts Ao could've done by himself. Then he'd gradually had me more and more involved. This one...

This one had been mine to kill. Ao hadn't done anything.

I'd finally crossed that bridge, leaving the morals of my old world behind.

Here, it was kill or be killed. Purely survival of the fittest.

I didn't like killing or fighting, never would.

But... I had accepted it as part of life here

"Look at this" Ao had searched the rogue and pulled up a jutsu scroll. He searched it carefully for traps before giving it a better examination. Then he grinned, offering it to me. "Lightning ninjutsu. A fitting reward for your first hunt, hm?"

I cautiously accepted it. I also didn't like the idea of having a trophy for taking someone's life...

But, while my ninjutsu had gotten stronger, some more variety had never hurt.

I examined the scroll, and nearly dropped it at the jutsu name I saw there.

Raiton: Hiraishin.

My mind was protesting that 1) the Hiraishin was a teleportation jutsu involving seals, not a lightning ninjutsu and 2) only Minato could do it, so why in Jashin's name did this nameless rogue have a scroll for it?

On further inspection, I discovered this was an entirely different technique. It only had a similar name.

However, instead of Flying Thunder God, this one would translate more into Lightning Rod.

It was a two part jutsu. A hand sign and physical contact with the opponent was part one. This made the enemy the 'rod' so to speak. A second hand sign and the actual use of the jutsu was part two. The user cast a bolt of electricity which would automatically home to the 'rod' and strike.

Very deadly.

I didn't like it required touch, but it could prove useful.

"I'll keep it. Thanks, shishou" I stored the scroll for later use.

"As I said, a reward for a hunt well done. Now, let's get our friend here turned in so they can knock his name out of the Bingo book".

* * *

It was another one of those joint lazy days Kisame and I had time off together. I just knocked once on his door before strolling in. He and I had gotten very informal about visiting each other.

"Koneko, I have a surprise" the Shark called to me as I entered.

"What's that?" I called back, shutting his door behind me.

Kisame came walking out of the back of his apartment, wearing the standard jounin uniform.

"You passed the jounin exams?!" I stared at him in surprise.

Jashin, he almost looked like when he killed the-

"Yep. Been assigned to the Cipher Division" he nodded.

It could not possibly be time for that!

"C-congrats. You should've told me so I could've watched" I scolded lightly while mentally panicking.

"They were kinda shoved on me by Fuguki-shishou. I didn't have much warning either. Otherwise you would have been there" Kisame gave an embarrassed smile.

He was acting too happy for the slaughter to occur just yet. He must've run a handful of missions with them before. Enough to know their basic skills.

Fuguki would then have them kill his teammates.

But those missions would also be enough to figure out things about Fuguki, or at least have an idea.

Because if anyone would know about secrets being sold, it was the Cipher Division.

I didn't know exactly how long it took between the slaughter there and when Kisame finally confirmed that Fuguki was a traitor

But I didn't think I had much time left.

"It's aright" I realized I hadn't responded, making the Shark give me a curious look. "I'm glad you got promoted".

"You pouting cause you're behind, Koneko?" Kisame chuckled "Don't worry, I'm sure Ao will have you becoming a full hunter-nin soon. Then you'll be jounin/ANBU level".

"We did agree to both become S-class" I forced a smile. "But you're going to beat me to it".

Kisame, I wish it really was the difference in ranks bothering me. That'd be easier to handle than... this.

"You've got claws, my dear Koneko" he approached to kiss me playfully before grinning "Who knows, you might pull out a surprise victory".

Oh, I highly doubted that.

* * *

I found myself on edge as more time passed.

"You look tense. Good. Because it's time" Ao spoke, making me jump.

I had been waiting on him in our training grounds, and become so lost in thought I hadn't noticed his approach.

"Time for what?" I asked, not understanding his context.

"Your exam to become a true hunter-nin. Your first S-class hunt to be precise. I'll accompany you to observe, but I will offer no guidance. This will be effectively a solo hunt" he informed me. "It may take a week or two".

An S-class hunt?! Effectively by myself?!

Jashin damn, Kirigakure was never half-assed about anything.

"When do we leave?" I asked.

"Now. You have your weapons. You have your skills. That and this basic information scroll are all you'll need. I'll direct you to where to start, but after that, consider me nonexistent" Ao handed over the scroll in question.

"Hai shishou" I answered.

We took off.

**Kisame POV**

She wasn't at her home.

She wasn't at the training grounds.

Why had Ao dragged her out on a hunt _**now**_ of all times?!

He needed her.

Needed sanity.

His orders... he couldn't believe them.

Such blatant lies!

Kill his teammates!

Then he scoffed at himself, inner shark thrashing in fury.

He didn't know why he was surprised.

He'd killed his graduating class after all.

Kiri was nothing but _liars_.

He was truly beginning to hate it here,

* * *

**Kisame – A Few Days Later**

It was done.

The ninja who had trusted him to be their protection... they were dead.

And he'd found some disturbing hints about his shishou.

There was nothing concrete.

Not yet.

He would watch closely though.

He wanted... no needed to know the truth of this.

If it were true...

Then even his shishou...

Even his shishou was nothing more than a liar.

Nothing more than one of _them_.

_3__rd__Person, Same Day_

"Kirigakure is under attack!"

"Civilians! Take cover! All shinobi, to the gate!"

"Who's attacking?!"

"It's that bastard Kaguya clan! They think they're better than us because they have a kekkei genkai!"

"We'll show them not to underestimate the Bloody Mist!"

A single Shark unsheathed his blade, heading for the gates. He found himself glad Toki was still away on her hunt.

She wouldn't have liked this. Not with people spitting curses about kekkei genkai holders like bloodlines were worse than the most vicious criminals.

Besides, she and her clan...

They were exceptions.

She was no liar.

Not like these fools who attacked Mist and met their deaths on his blade and others.

Not like the Mist shinobi he was fighting beside.

Her clan weren't liars. They weren't rabid animals just for having something others didn't.

They were different.

Like himself.

Nothing more nor less.

But this hostility, the Shark could practically smell it in the air over the bloodshed of the slain Kaguya.

He found himself worried.

Koneko...

Was it safe for her here anymore?

Had it ever been?

After all, they were nothing but liars, deceivers, lowest of the low.

And he still needed to look into that matter of his shishou.

This attack had interrupted that. He would deal with it once the foolish Kaguya were all slain.

_A few hours after the attack_

Tobi chuckled darkly to himself as he received the welcome information from Yagura.

All according to plan.

Yagura, his mindless puppet stared at the ANBU in his office. "I fear that even the kekkei genkai holders in our own Village may have similar ideas to the Kaguya" he spoke, as his master commanded.

"What shall we do then, Mizukage-sama?"

"I will not attack without proof... but the Sudachi clan is the most worrisome at the moment. Investigate them. Publicly. Ask even the civilians about their doings. I am sure we'll find nothing, but this will put everyone's minds at ease" Yagura ordered.

"Hai, Mizukage-sama" the ANBU vanished.

Tobi laughed darkly again. And now to watch and wait.

He only move his final piece after that girl had returned.

How fitting that she'd serve her Village one last time before her death.

* * *

**End of the Hunt – Normal POV**

"Well, well. I am impressed, Toki Sudachi" Ao chuckled as we finally turned in the rogue's body at an outpost. "It's official then. You pass. You are now a hunter-nin of Kirigakure".

"Thank you, shishou" despite having killed someone, I couldn't help the small smile.

I'd done it! I'd become one of the most renowned professions of ninja!

Kekkei Genkai of Averageness and all!

"You'll be needing these" Ao pulled out a containment scroll, opening it. With the standard poof, there appeared two things. The uniform of the hunter-nin, the female version of what he wore now and what Haku would wear as his disguise.

The other thing was a mask. The eye-slits were curved, giving the mask a disturbingly happy look. On its forehead were the four squiggled lines, representing Kirigakure. The only other decoration to the plain white mask were two upward curving blue triangles that were just below the eyes and ended at the gap between the eye slits.

"You may change into he uniform now, if you wish, but don't bother with the mask unless you're on an official hunt" Ao instructed, offering container scroll. "Seal that mask in this with your blood so it's not accidentally discovered"..

I obeyed, moving off to change in privacy. Once done, I returned, feeling myself grin. "How do I look?"

"Like a hunter-nin who is not to be taken lightly. The Mizukage will be most pleased. Come on, let's get going" Ao jumped off, heading back.

I followed after him, stupid grin still on my face.

_A few days later_

"You can go celebrate" Ao waved me off once Mist was back in sight. "I'll go report in with the Mizukage".

"Hai shishou... thank you for everything you've taught me" I smiled.

"You are a very talented hunter now, Toki. That is all the thanks I need".

**Later – 3****rd ****Person**

"-And so I would like to report that Sudachi Toki passed her exam with flying colors. She's officially a hunter-nin now" Ao bowed to the Mizukage

"Good. I am glad that she's proved her worth. Especially now that the issues with the kekkei genkai holders are tense" Yagura's response was as neutral as always.

"Issues, sir?" Ao blinked.

"Nothing you need to worry about, Ao. The investigation ends soon. It'll be over before you know it" the Mizukage gave a motion of dismissal.

"... Hai Mizukage-sama".

**Kisame POV**

He could smell her scent on the wind. She'd finally returned.

Koneko really had the worst timing.

He couldn't go to her.

Not now.

He had to deal with the liar that was his shishou now.

The traitor had been selling secrets.

He'd finally confirmed it.

Now was the time to go and end the charade.

He'd kill his own teacher.

Shouldn't be that hard.

It was just another lie to add to the pile anyway.

He was really _really_ hating Mist.

* * *

**Two Days Later – 3****rd ****Person**

It was near dawn, the first of the civilians only just now coming out to start their days. A cloaked figure wandered through them, going mostly unremarked. Until it started walking nervously to anyone who would listen. "Did you hear? They found proof of the Sudachi's treachery! But the Mizukage is trying to keep it a secret because they have a kekkei genkai!" The civilians started to stir like a nest of kicked ants, rumors flying faster than the quickest shinobi. Nobody noticed when the cloaked figure disappeared.

**Noon – Kisame POV**

It was almost time.

Just awhile longer.

Then he could strike.

And the world would have one less liar in it.

**About 3 – Normal POV**

I frowned.

Something was off about today.

My shinobi instincts were prickling.

My parents had told me about the investigation while I was away.

The ANBU had found nothing of course, and had gone to report as such to the Mizukage.

Still...

While they were relaxed, my skin itched.

And they were supposed to be the paranoid ones here.

Maybe I really was over thinking things.

Maybe I was just not liking sitting still after having been constantly moving during that hunt.

Walking around for a few hours would help.

Curse that Shark for being off with Fuguki.

I needed to know if he'd killed the Cipher Division yet.

And I'd missed him something terrible.

**Sunset – Kisame POV**

He'd done it.

His former master was dead.

Samehada had betrayed Fuguki, refusing to be wielded against him.

The great chakra-eating sentient sword was now his.

He made sure its bandages were in place before swinging it onto his back.

"Good job, Kisame... I figured he would let his guard down around you... and I was right. He had been communicating with the enemy, now the great sword Samehada is yours. And you will work for me now".

Oh _really_?

Was that so?

"Until you make me disappear, Yondaime Mizukage-sama" he couldn't resist the slight verbal jab.

Yagura didn't seem to either notice or just didn't care.

Damn.

"I can trust a man like you. It is precisely because you have done many dirty deeds for your Village and country, completed many betrayal missions... you know this world holds nothing but lies" Yagura continued.

Well that was eerily similar to his thoughts.

Made his skin crawl.

"...I knew that the first time I killed my comrades..." the damn genin exam "I am a Mist ninja, yet I kill Mist ninja. So.. who am I really? Am I friend or foe? What is my purpose? What is my position?What can I do, where can I go to settle down?! I know that I myself am nothing but a false existence".

The words left his mouth. But they felt hollow.

Like it was a lie.

Toki...

She was still there. The single strong connection that remained.

His friend...

His girlfriend...? (he needed to find a better word)

His Koneko.

The sound of a step drew him from his thoughts.

"I will free you from the pain of falsehood. I will make a place for you" came a new voice.

His hand touched Samehada's hilt. "Who are you?"

"First, I will start with this country. You have worked to finish off your comrades. Now you will work for me".

Something about this...

It rung a bell. A memory. A conversation.

"You sound as if you trust me, but I don't know who you are" keep the stranger talking. He was almost remembering something. He saw the gleam of an eye.

"The eye that shines in the dark... so that's it. You're the one I thought was the Yondaime Mizukage-sama. You controlled him with your Sharingan. This world is indeed nothing but lies".

Something... something about Koneko...

Something she'd said."But who are you that you possess the power to control the Sanbi's host?"

"Uchiha Madara" came the answer. "I offer you a place with me, in my organization"

_If this ends badly, what then?! _Koneko's voice stirred in his memory _You'll start ignoring me! And I'll lose you! _

What did that have to do with this...?

_Then you'll end up joining an evil organization and doing terrible things!_

Wait.

_You'll obey a horrible man who's just using you!_

She'd... known about this?

_And because you'll be so loyal, when you're captured for information, you'll-!_

Had... she been lying to him too?

His inner Shark went into a frenzy.

No.

Not her.

But she'd known!

And had tried to tell him. He'd stopped her.

Why not tell him later?!

They'd been distracted. Promotions. Then being busy.

They'd met on occasion!

He might not have been ready for the information.

And who was _she_ to determine that?!

Toki. His Koneko. The necklace he wore even now proof that she wanted to protect him.

He smelled smoke.

The orange glow of a fire caught his gaze.

It... was where Toki's home was...

Was he truly considering abandoning her?

The flames got higher.

To work for this unknown shinobi's empty words?

Faint screams some of the anger of a mob, some of pain, those trapped in the blaze.

"I need an answer, Kisame" came the smooth voice.

"Alright, I have your answer".

He felt the shinobi relax, sure of getting what he wanted.

He made sure not to look at the Sharingan eyes.

"You, can go Jashin damned fuck yourself" deliberate use of his Koneko's favorite curse as he lept away, heading towards the blaze and away from Madara as fast as he could go.

* * *

**Fire – Normal POV**

My home...

I stood outside it with a horrified expression, crying.

My parents...

The bastards had somehow gotten a hand on a sealing jutsu.

Those that had been inside... they were trapped there.

Then, they'd set it on fire.

I went to my knees, unable to fathom much of anything.

"Look! One of the damn Sudachi! She escaped!"

"Get rid of her!"

I felt a rock whiz past my nose.

Another hit, slicing my cheek.

"Not fighting back huh? Good! Traitors like you and your clan should just die!"

What had my parents done to deserve this fate?

My clan?

I barely registered as more rocks hit, causing bruises.

This was all because a Jashin damned Lollipop had taken an interest in my seeming aptitude to escape genjutsu. Probably thought it would screw up his Eye of Moon Plan.

"This is taking too long! We should just have her head and be done with it!"

I heard the sound of a sword being unsheathed.

I didn't care.

Foot steps. Coming closer.

I didn't move.

**Kisame POV**

He landed at the back of the house.

No.

NonoNonoNonoNonoNO!

Fucking hell no!

There was a seal around the damn house!

Anyone that went in was trapped inside!

TOKI!

He stood there.

His mind was blank.

Even his inner Shark went still.

He'd...

He'd lost her...

Koneko...

No... no please...

He felt himself start to shake.

Please... no... not her...

"Look! One of the damn Sudachi! She escaped!"

"Get rid of her!"

...What...?

His mind struggled to wrap itself around the words.

A girl?

Sudachi?

Get... rid of her?

"Not fighting back huh? Good! Traitors like you and your clan should just die!"

Traitors?

He felt icy rage begin to form.

Toki was no traitor.

"This is taking too long! We should just have her head and be done with it!"

Instinctively, his body moved, going around to the front, to see the scene.

Toki!

She was alive!

Thank Kami!

She was bleeding from her cheek... why?

Rocks.

Rocks around her.

The crowd had been throwing stones at her.

Rage built.

His inner Shark stirred hungrily.

A person had drawn a blade and was approaching her.

She wasn't moving.

His control snapped.

**Normal POV**

There was the sound of an inhuman growl of sheer rage before I felt blood.

It wasn't mine.

I turned to stare. There, bloody Samehada in hand stood Kisame. He looked more angry than I had ever imagined he could be, as he stood over the now headless body of the person who'd been about to kill me.

"Monster!" someone cried.

No, Kisame wasn't a monster.

I knew that.

Kisame slowly put Samehada back on his back, every movement screaming death for anyone stupid enough to approach.

Suddenly, I found myself getting picked up and held bridal-style.

I didn't know someone so furious could even be gentle.

"I got you, you're safe" simple words, quiet and soft.

Unchallenged, Kisame turned, leaping away, heading out of Mist.

I saw familiar countryside blur as he raced at top speed.

Away from Mist. Away from Water Country.

Most likely never to go back.

* * *

_Thus ends the Chibi Arc. Next chapter or two are transitions into canon._

_Serious chapter was needed for plot. Which is why the last one was nothing but fluff._

_**Next time**__ – __There was the swift gleam of a kunai in Kisame's hands. He'd scarred his headband, right through the symbol for Mist._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Silmaria – Indeed, very smart. And thank you -.-; I fixed it_

_Creepy – Here, have another ^^_

_Lady – Exceedingly. And so would I. And she's well over her hesitation now thanks to Ao. There will be more Omakes, I promise :)_

_Arcami – Glad you liked it! Yes. And everything falls apart. And if it's possible, yes. I would so love writing that meeting._

_Cjhoax – Thank you ^^_

_Fire – Ooooh nice xD_

_White – Indeed it does :P And Kisame is not amused. You do NOT touch Toki and live. End of story._

_Music – As you should've, as you see from this chapter_

_Chibi – Yay for Kisame not being an idiot! And here, the answers to your question._

_Mistress – Thank you! And chocolate is a girl's or a Shark's best friend. And that confidence might need some work again after this._

_Eternal – It must SUCK. Hope you enjoyed the more serious chapter it was necessary. The fluff was to counter this lovely thing_

_Wayward – Lol Sharks are best boyfriends. Now you see why it was nothing but fluff. To counter... this. _

_December – I apologize. This chapter's long though ^^;_

_Kyoichi – It was unwilling council though_

_Ceres – Perhaps later ;3 Maybe after some more 'growing up' on Toki's part hehehe..._

_Cat – Still, epic music to write to ^^ And thank you, I'll do my best to keep it up during school days_

_Yuuki – Not exactly xD That chapter was just short and fluffy. And thank you so much! I was trying to find a good pace, and glad you think I did :) I didn't want to be stuck in the Chibi-Mist Arc forever ^^_

_Random – Thank you very much! ^^ I fully intend to continue until the plot is done! And I like that idea. I just might do that :)_

_Nazebaka – Hehe, I feel loved :3 Thank you! Cuteness needed to counteract this needed evil. And hot grown Sharks are soon to come. And success! A puddle of fangirl and giggling in class is the highest compliment ^^ Thank you_

_Scarlet – Thank you :) Which you know who? There's a lot of those..._

_Sofie – Thank you! Have an update_

_Rose – Thanks! Soon. Very soon we;ll have a grown Shark :D_

_Shadow – Hidan wasn't Kiri actually. Hidan's from Yugakure. But he comes in eventually. Because reasons._

_Loup – For lack of a better way of putting this... the -ahem- 'heat' part of the cycle. Human females have it as well, those it's not as noticeable. Unless your Kisame and have a very sharp nose._

_Ketsueko – It was needed to counter this lovely chapter. And Ao is terrifying., there's a reason his students fear him so. Thank you! And alas, evil Lollipops here. I'm doing my best with updates, especially not that school's back. Bleck._

_Kida – Hehehe glad you enjoyed that ;3_

_Jo-jo – Evil Lollipops are the worst. In a way, it was filler. It was a bunch of filler fluff to help counter this chapter. So, you're completely right ^^;_


	19. Rogue Changes

_Slowly __getting into canon. Not quite to the actual Arc yet. Just needed transitioning_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

**Beta:**Mein Benutzername

* * *

**Kisame POV**

He wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been carrying her.

The fact she'd been so still in his hold worried him.

She was usually a spitting house-cat about not needing to be carried.

But, considering what just happened... her quiet was understandable.

They were inside of Fire Country now. Where exactly, he wasn't sure.

He'd find somewhere safe for the night. A cave or something perhaps.

It wasn't like they hadn't slept in worse places on missions.

Plus, they no longer had much of a choice.

Once there, though, he needed to talk to her.

It was about time he found out how she'd known about the Madara incident

And if she knew anything else.

**Sometime later – Normal POV**

Kisame's stride finally slowed. He had been zigzagging to cover our tracks for hours.

He set me down gently, cautiously unsure of letting me go. As if he was afraid I'd collapse.

But... I'd had time to go through the stages of grief.

Hell, I'd been practically a textbook case.

Denial was first, not wanting to believe that my family was gone forever. Burned alive.

Anger next, a furious rage at the citizens, at Tobito.

I hadn't bargained though. I knew Jashin's methods. He didn't _do_ healing like that.

Wasn't like I was exactly a Jashinist anyway.

Depression had been haunting me for several hours of this trip. The road was long and difficult from Mist into who-knows-where in Fire.

And so I'd mourned.

No tears came though. I'd wasted all of them at the fire. It had been more of a... silent withdrawal.

Kisame had simply let me be, he hadn't said a word after he'd started running.

I had not yet accepted my family's deaths. But I would not retreat into myself any longer.

By now, we had hunter-nin and ANBU after us.

There was no more time for self-pity, no matter how deserved.

"Koneko" Kisame's voice caught me out of my thoughts. "There's a cave where we can hide in for tonight" he motioned towards it with his head.

"...Thank you, Kisame" I moved to hug him tightly. He'd saved me from a horrible fate.

"You can thank me by explaining how you knew" he answered simply, though he returned the hug.

"...Knew what?" my brain was still scattered.

"About Madara. And his organization" Kisame answered.

Oh. That.

Jashin, how did I do this?

Especially with a Shark lie-detector being both my only friend and the one asking the question...

I didn't have much of a choice.

I guessed it was time for the truth.

I pulled away motioning for him to follow, heading towards the cave. "Let's get inside and sit. It's... going to be a long story".

Kisame obediently followed, and finally sat next to me in the darkness of the cave.

Building a fire would be too dangerous.

"In Konohagakure, in the Country of Fire, lived a boy named Naruto..." I began.

And so I told him.

Everything I knew. Every last plot point I could remember.

The PTS canon years.

Team 7. Oro-pedo-snake. Sasuke's defection.

Shippuden.

About the Akatsuki. Pein. 'Madara'-Obito-Lollipop.

The Fourth Shinobi War. Kabuto aka Oro-pedo-snake 2.0

The biju, their real names, and their respective jinchuuriki.

Everything.

* * *

"That's all I know. And... it's subject to change. You see, in that world, I was never there. I'm... not from here. Probably not _supposed_ to be here at all, really" I had reached the more delicate part of my explanation of how exactly I knew these things.

"What do you mean, Toki?" Kisame's first question. He hadn't spoken during the story of Naruto. He didn't even flinch when I told him of his part in the Akatsuki, his partner Itachi... or even how he committed suicide.

"Erin" I responded.

"Who?"

"My original name was Erin. I was nothing special, just someone who liked to read manga. One of the ones I read... it was called Naruto. My favorite characters were the members of the Akatsuki. Especially Kisame and Itachi. I was twenty-one when I died. And when I woke up... I was reborn into Mist. Somewhere that I hadn't thought existed outside of comic books" I informed him. "Then, when I went into the academy... I saw him. One of my favorite, if not the favorite character. He dared me to comment, asking me what I was looking at. I decided that I wasn't going to let his horrible end remain the same. So, I set out to befriend him". I couldn't help a slight laugh. "He didn't make it easy. But we became friends. And over time, he ceased to be just a character in some story I happened to find myself in. He was a real person. My best friend... who then determinedly courted me until he won".

"..." Kisame was silent.

"I know. It's a lot of information" I sighed.

"Who _are_ you then?" came the next question.

"Toki. I gave up being Erin a long time ago".

"Was this why...?"

"I was so hesitant about killing for the longest time? Yes".

"You... don't smell like your lying" he spoke slowly. Kisame fixed me with a hard stare.

"Because I'm not. Now you know everything I do. How it's subject to change. It already has, with you not becoming Akatsuki" I stared back.

"Tch. I can't believe some version of me thought working for that lying idiot was a good idea" the Shark scoffed. "World of truth? I can smell that bullshit without even trying".

"You-"

"Are not sure about this" Kisame was blunt. "But you didn't lie to me". He shook his head "It's just a lot to take in. Though, I suppose you've got it worse right now".

"They... didn't deserve that" I looked at the ground.

"I know".

"All because the damn Lollipop thought I'd screw things up".

"Well, you did. I'm here after all. Not over there being his lackey" Kisame wound an arm around me, pulling me close.

"...Thank you. For choosing me".

"You're mine, Koneko. I'll admit there was a debate with myself after I figured you knew about Madara - sorry, Obito. I thought you'd become one of the liars. But... I decided that you hadn't. After that, the bastard didn't stand a chance of getting me on his side" he answered.

I couldn't help my smile, kissing his cheek.

Kisame's cheeks turned a light purple, his equivalent of a faint blush. "Don't distract me, Koneko. I'm attempting to think here".

"Sorry" I felt my smile widen slightly.

"You know... I don't much like that story you told me" Kisame mused. "Sure, it looks likes it has a happy ending and all. But dead should stay dead, both shinobi and biju alike. And we don't need to be dealing with the real Madara".

"Obito is too strong for us, Kisame" I frowned at him "He required the hax of 'main character syndrome' to be taken down".

"I seem to recall you saying it was the snake-creeper and his creeper-glasses assistant who did the reanimation thing" the Shark reminded me.

"They also take hax to defeat. I told you this. Sharingan hax. And Kabuto took Sharingan times two" I shook my head.

"Hmm..." Kisame was obviously not perturbed. "Well, like it or not, if I get the chance to muck up that story line of yours, I'm taking it. Cause that story sucks",

"Noted" I shook my head once more.

A major character had decided to rebel against the plot.

Jashin-sama what was next?

"For now we should focus on how to survive" I told him simply.

"Well, you're a hunter-nin. Or were. We'll go hunting then. Plenty of money in bounty hunting, if your tales of Kakuzu are to be believed. And that guy sounds a _lot_ like Ao-sensei by the way" Kisame answered.

"They are almost exactly alike. I thought of attempting to introduce them should I get the chance. They'd be best friends" I laughed.

The Shark was helping fight off my sadness without even really trying... something I was grateful for.

* * *

"Well, since we're going for the irony of rogues hunting rogues, only one thing left to do". Kisame reached up to his head, undoing his hitai-ate. The Shark then placed it on the ground, Kiri's symbol facing him.

There was the swift gleam of a kunai in Kisame's hands. He'd scarred his headband, right through the symbol for Mist.

"Much better" he tied it back onto his head.

Jashin, all he needed was to be a little older and be wearing the Akatsuki cloak and he'd be a canon Shark.

I couldn't help my staring.

"You alright, Koneko?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry" I flushed. I should _not_ be thinking of how sexy he'd be in a couple years. I was already having issues with the current Kisame.

Then, the Shark offered me his kunai, a silent question in the presentation.

I didn't honestly have to think much about it..

I'd never really liked Kirigakure.

And they'd severed what ties I'd had to them.

I undid my hitai-ate from my neck, taking Kisame's proffered kunai.

A simple slash and it was done.

I handed the Shark his kunai back before retying my hitai-ate around my neck.

It was scratched through, the same as his.

We were officially nuke-nin.

* * *

Years passed and we worked as bounty hunters, successfully managing to evade Mist ANBU.

After all, there are few better times for a nuke-nin to vanish than during a War. The Third Shinobi War peaked, its battles effectively hiding out movements.

War also created a bunch of deserters, meaning more money to be found in bounty hunting.

I refused to go after anyone, like Asuma, who had a high bounty but was still serving a Village. Even if they were Kiri shinobi. We stuck to rogues alone.

Kisame and I were an effective team, falling back into fighting alongside one another once again, though our skill levels were far greater than they had been as mere genin.

I believe we had Okaa-san's blindfolded training to thank for how easy it was to fight as one again after so long.

We heard of Yagura's death.

Sasori became famous, gaining his nickname Akasuna.

I think we were starting to become famous as well. The rogues who hunted rogues. We were an oddity.

I don't know if we had nicknames, other than Kisame's personal two. Apparently, the change in canon hadn't rid him of the titles Tailless Tailed Beast or Kirigakure no Kaijin, Monster of the Hidden Mist (he wasn't as fond of this one, often grumbling about how people could miss the obvious scratch on his hitai-ate).

Evil Lollipops who'd been corrupted by Madara became even more evil with the death of Rin.

"We should screw up the Lollipop's plans. And the snake-creeper with his creeper-glasses assistant's plans too" Kisame mused. He'd refused to call Obito his name after hearing my nickname for him.

"And how do you suggest to do that as a fourteen and thirteen year old?" I asked simply.

"Well, we screw with the Lollipop first. He deserves it more" he answered.

"By doing what?" I repeated "And the fact you're not with him being a lackey's made Lollipop already irritated".

"It's simple. We snag Akatsuki members before he can, and therefore create chaos in his dumb-ass Lollipop plans. Except Pein and Konan. Nagato's crazy, thinking he's Kami, and there's probably no convincing him that Lollipop is lying about his plan bringing peace".

"Even leaving those two out, how do you suggest we do that?" I looked at him. "We might get Itachi, he logical, but he's too young right now. Maybe, _maybe_ Deidara, if we're convincing enough. No genjutsu allowed though, since otherwise he detests Itachi. Sasori is all about carefully thinking over things, he _might_ consider it. Kakuzu is basically Ao on steroids and with anger issues, though he's got a good reason for them with Takigakure pulling a Kirigakure ranked jerk move on him. We'd have to offer him something good to get him, let alone _keep _him on our side. Hidan loves battle, we'd have to promise he would get a better fight with us than with the Akatsuki".

"Well, for starters, who's available right now?"

"Sasori. Kakuzu. Hidan, Itachi, and Deidara especially are too young, assuming Hidan's age wasn't adjusted for immortality".

"Who's more dangerous?" I didn't like that look in Kisame's eyes as he asked this.

"...Depends. Sasori is a master of puppets and poisons. Kakuzu have five hearts making him a bitch to kill and has a lot of techniques" I answered.

"Where would they be?"

"Sasori? Probably still somewhere around the Suna area, though he's defected by now and turned himself into a puppet. I have no Jashin damned idea about Kakuzu. He's a bounty hunter, like us. Always on the move, even after he's joined Akatsuki".

"Who joins first?"

"No idea. I'm guessing Kakuzu" I shrugged.

"Then let's find the stitch-faced miser. And after him we go straight to Suna for Sasori" Kisame nodded as if confirming the plan not only for me, but for himself too.

"I would like to point out that this is your insane plan, not mine" I stated.

"Obviously. I think hanging around you and your mother rubbed off on me a little" he smirked before kissing me on the cheek.

"And where do you suggest we start looking for freaking Kakuzu of all people?" I asked "And keep him from tearing us into itty-bitty shreds once we find him?"

"We're bounty hunters too. We know the outposts. We'll hang around the more heavily trafficked ones. From your description, Kakuzu is hard to miss. And I have a plan as to how we're avoiding painful death" Kisame smirked.

"Care to share?"

"Nope".

"Jashin curse you, Kisame"

"Love you too, Koneko" he kissed me lightly. I felt myself turn red. "Come on, let's go hunting again. At least we got an updated Bingo book from the last hunt" he grinned "And time to kill while waiting on a miser".

"Alright" I shook my head and started leafing through the books for a decent chase. "Oh look, Kisame. You're in this one" I pointed out his picture and page.

"Bounty and everything" Kisame chuckled "Huh. Wanted alive, no payment otherwise. How unusual. The Godaime must be feeling generous. Instead of death out here its a cell then execution there".

"Such an optimist, Kisame" I sighed, returning to flipping pages.

"Just being realistic. There's no end for a rogue other than the sharp end of a blade" he shrugged. Then Kisame suddenly stopped my flipping. "Look, Koneko. You're in this one too".

"Oh joy. We're both in the Bingo book" I sighed.

"We should go celebrate. We're apparently bad enough to need retrieval. Come on, I'll buy drinks" Kisame suddenly started tugging me towards the nearest town.

"Somehow, I feel like we shouldn't be celebrating being in the Bingo book. Let alone with alcohol".

"Oh shush, Koneko. Let's have some fun. And besides, maybe I can get you to dance with me".

I laughed "Alright you win. But only cause you're buying".

* * *

**Omake – Sparkly Things, Kisame POV**

He was beginning to suspect that Mangetsu and that senbon user had been mistaken when they'd told him girls liked sparkly things.

The only thing that sparkled on Toki was the charm he'd given her.

Or maybe her senbon.

And she certainly didn't show much interest in other sparkly things...

They'd built up enough fund from their bounty hunting, he felt a present was in order.

But...

He didn't think it would sparkle.

No, he was certain of it.

Mangetsu and the senbon-user had been wrong.

Besides, Toki and the word sparkle...

That just did not sound right together.

He'd get her something else.

Because one charm was enough.

And he certainly did not consider senbon a good enough present.

No

Nothing sparkly for his Koneko.

* * *

_Yay for awkward truth revelations? Not satisfied with this chapter either :/ Not as good as the last one_

_You all should totally suggest names for the possibly quite infamous team of rogues who are hunting other rogues :P_

_And before you get too excited, I assure you 'no' is a very valid answer from the other Akatsuki. I only promised you'd see them, not that they'd stick around. -evil smile-_

_**Update notice: **__School's started back up. I know, I know. I'm groaning too over here. This means that updates __**may **__or __**may not **__be as frequent as they were. I promise to update __**at least **__once a week, preferable more so. I'm going to do my best to keep my current schedule of once daily, but school is an evil, evil being._

_**Next time **__- "A present while we're miser hunting, Koneko"_

"_A containment scroll?"_

"_Open it"._

"_A scroll within a scroll? Hilarious"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Arcami – Thank you :3 Alas, some needed transition must take place. To skip straight to canon would mean several years worth, and things happen during those years... so yeah ._. I'm pressing the fast-forward button though! I swear!_

_White – Yep. Koneko is more important than violence. And here's your answer ^^ They're copying Ao and Kakuzu and surviving off bounty hunting while living... where ever basically. _

_Nomurai – Yes, very much so. But attempting to screw over Lollipop plans isn't. I think I'll do an Omake on Ao in the next chapter or so, so you can see his point of view on them leaving. _

_Ie-maru – It was an exceedingly awkward conversation. And she was just blunt. When your best friend/boyfriend is a lie-detector it's best to be bunt. And Kisame is still here, officially saying 'I'm not someone's plaything' and wanting to throw a wrench into canon._

_Creepy – Here have an update ^^_

_Eternal – Thank you :3 And alas Akira-san did not survive. Toki has no more ties to Mist. And here's the answer to your question. They basically go Ao/Kakuzu route for now._

_Radient – Their all alone, with no one to reply on but each other. Most Villages don't like rogues._

_Shadowelf – Yep, he's not entirely good, more of a gray character. But, if you think about it, so is Toki._

_Gun – I have no idea honestly ._._

_Chibi – Thank you very much :3 I'm glad you enjoy it! Have an update to semi-answer your question._

_Yuuki – Precisely why it had to happen. I love Akira-san too. It made me upset that she basically __**had**__to go. And Toki has a big long conversation with Kisame. And Kisame is officially on team 'screw the plot!' Ao is aware of what happened, or at least the basics._

_Amatsumi – Exactly. So they're on par with each other with very different skill sets._

_Silmaria – And now for a Shark that wants to screw with his own story. Itachi does technically come in later... though if he joins up is very debatable._

_Music – They're dead because Lollipops are evil. And it needed to happen. But at least it was dramatic!_

_Mistress – Toki sorta does it herself actually. Shinobi life does not lend itself to wallowing in self-pity. She's not Tsunade, she can't both mourn and kick-ass. It's one or the other. I know, I loved writing Okaa-san ;~; Hope I didn't disappoint!_

_Fear – Thank you very much :) I am trying my best. I may have dubious results sometimes, but I do try. So, again, thank you._

_Freedom – Only Toki isn't Kisame's much younger 'tool'._

_Lady – Yep. He got told no in a fashion the Lollipop will not be forgetting. And that's what I was going for, trying to show Kisame's inner struggle over if she was or wasn't. And some transitioning first! Then canon! The Omakes are actually semi-important, a sometimes they're extra info I couldn't fit in otherwise. They may be referenced in an actual chapter :P _

_TheQueen – I tried ^^ This chapter not so much. But its just transition, so yeah. And thank you!_

_Nazebaka – My transitions though, seem to need some work. I cannot for the life of me manage to make this better, so I left it as is :/ But you make sense! Thank you ^^ As to your question... not a clue. Magic?_

_Miss – Yes, she's dead. And there will be other who plot. I promise. But yes, for now they're on their own._

_TheOne – I'm guessing you mean the carrying scene ^^_

_Scarlet – Tobito will not forget the insult. But no moves out of the Lollipop just yet_

_Cat – That's what I was going for. Chaos of feels! School's more likely to be a hindrance than illness, but thank you I'll keep that in mind ^^_

_Red – Thank you! :D And technically the end was slightly fluffy. Needed something after all that seriousness. Tobito waits to strike for now. Kisame and Toki are good at hiding. And they're bounty hunting xD As to your last question. Maybe. Maybe not._

_Baka – Shark for the win!_

_Guest – Kisame has officially trashed his chances at Akatsuki. And no yes, no matter what happens bad things occur. However, might as well carve your own path, ne?_

_Shadow – more like hunting them down first :P_

_Inseparable – Not pure fluff, no. Fluff is nice. But it better when it's held together by plot ^^ And thank you_

_Rosebud – Indeed it has_

_Ketsueko – Nope. No red clouds. Nuke-nin was necessary, couldn't exactly stay in Kiri... As for the death, that was also needed, sadly. ;~; Transitions first! Then canon!_

_Rlance – Thank you ^^ I do my best to keep Toki believable. I'm glad I'm succeeding._

_Candi – Yes, indeed it has. Thank you :3 I'm glad you like it And I'm not sure fabulous is the right word. Dang transitions._

_Sofie – My updates are honestly fairly random_

_Irene – Thanks! But alas some transitioning first then the next Arc_

_December – Kisame sorta threw away the Akatsuki when he cursed out their leader... And here you go, an update :)_

_Arcaelia (x17) – Good gosh, a review per chapter, I feel so loved ^^ Replying to them all would be slightly impossible... so I'm going to try and do my best general reply ^^; Forgive me. Would you believe I haven't watched or read Naruto in some time either? Shh. Don't tell anybody. And thank you. I thought people would understand what I was doing more easily with the bold titles. Kisame now sports a respect for his Koneko. If she really got angry at him, he'd be admittedly a bit scared. I'm glad I made you laugh! Tsk tsk for staying up though :P And yes, shortest hunter-nin career ever. But hey, she's getting to use the skills as a bounty hunter. And here, you have you bingo book answer xD_

_Kida – It is not wise nor a very healthy thing to do_

_Jo-jo – Thank you ^^ I'm glad they had the wanted effect. And there's honestly not much to remember with Kiri. The only ties they still 'have' are Ao and Mangetsu. And Mangetsu dies soon... So Toki's slashed her headband, refusing to go back to the Village that took so much from her._

_Draconis – Eveil Lollipops are the worst. And oh gosh. The power of youth is terrifying to have o.o This chapter is not as good as the last -sigh-_

_Kakashi – Lollipop refers to Tobito cause his orange mask makes him look like a Lollipop._


	20. Of Misers And Puppets

_Thanks for your name suggestions! I used two of them :3 _

_And I have more fanart! It's linked on my profile ^^ _

_The Omake is a special thank you to Nazebaka for that lovely Toki bio she drew. You should see it, it's amazing._

_Note – This Arc starts off REALLY slowly. I apologize -.-;_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Beta:** Mein Benutzername

* * *

**Kisame POV**

He moved silently through the bounty's hideout.

Most would be surprised at how stealthy someone his size could be.

This poor sod really needed better traps and alarms though. It was almost too easy to navigate.

Koneko was off on the other side of the complex, handling the other part of the hunt.

His current target's partner to be exact.

He felt himself frown as he picked his way through what appeared to be a storage room.

He never had found a gift for Koneko.

Perhaps he would raid his hunt's inventory. See if there was anything acceptable.

So, he moved, starting to quietly shift through the stuff, knowing his bounty wasn't going anywhere.

Junk, junk, a chair, junk, a vase, junk, junk, junk, a pile of scrolls, junk...

Oh?

What's this?

How and why did his bounty have this lovely thing?

No matter. It was Koneko's now.

He felt a smirk across his face, fishing out an empty containment scroll. It'd be easier to carry it that way.

Present successfully sealed away in the scroll, he stored it away for later.

Now to get back to focusing on his target.

Though, perhaps as a thank you for Koneko's present, he'd make the death quick and painless.

Yes, that sounded like a good idea.

* * *

**Normal POV**

We'd finally found it. The bathroom outpost Kakuzu and Hidan were seen using in canon.

"Unimpressive place" Kisame muttered.

"Just be glad we're finally getting rid of these guys" I held up the two scrolls containing our bounties.

Morbid as sticking a dead body in a containment scroll was, it was better than lugging them around.

And besides, these were marked so we didn't use them for anything else.

"Oh. Seeing those reminds me" Kisame fished something out of his pack. "A present while we're miser hunting, Koneko".

"A containment scroll?" I found this mildly disturbing considering what was in the ones I had.

"Open it" he smirked.

I obeyed, I trusted him enough not to suspect a nasty trick. There was the standard poof as I unsealed the contents.

"A scroll within a scroll? Hilarious" though nasty tricks and harmless pranks were two different things. I had to wonder where Kisame had gotten a scroll this ridiculously large.

Kisame just smirked wider, rolling the scroll so the text on the edge was visible.

Summoning: Cats

"How in Jashin did you find a contract scroll?" I stared in disbelief.

"Magic" Kisame laughed "Figured you might like it".

I didn't know anything about the Cat contract... but it was a gift.

So, might as well be impulsive.

"Why not?" I had to work to unseal the Contract scroll. Wow... there were not many people on this one. Maybe three or four. I bit my finger to sign it.

"Try it" the Shark was still grinning at me.

Here goes nothing.

I used my still bleeding hand. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

Poof!

A tiny fuzzy kitten appeared. Blinked at me. And disappeared in another poof.

"...pfft" Kisame was doing his best not to laugh.

"Not like your first summons was much better" I glared.

"Mmmph... Come on Koneko... pfft... you got plenty of time to practice... hehe... while we lurk around this outpost for awhile" Kisame lost the battle proceeding to laugh loudly while I sulked.

* * *

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

It had been almost a week.

I had managed to summon bigger cats.

However...

"Already told you, girl. Stop summoning me" the panther hissed at me.

He was an impressive creature, easily twice the size of a normal panther, and had a katana sheathed on his back.

He also wanted nothing to do with me and refused to even tell me his name.

"Come on" I pouted "How am I supposed to 'earn your respect' if you all won't let me?"

"Tough luck" the panther growled, moving away.

"You dismiss yourself and I'll just summon you again" I glared.

"Summon me again and again. I don't care. I'm not listening to you" he shot back..

"Koneko" Kisame's voice interrupted the conversation "I think you'll want to see this".

I shot another glare at my unwilling summon before walking over to the Shark.

There, at the bounty outpost, was none other than Kakuzu.

He wasn't wearing the Akatsuki cloak.

"Care to share your brilliant plan of approaching him yet?"

"We go up and say hi" Kisame smoothly jumped away.

"You have any idea how stupid that idea is?!" I followed after him.

"Listening to a fish of all things" the panther wrinkled his nose at the girl who dared attempt to call herself a Cat contractor. "Disgraceful".

* * *

**Bounty Outpost – Kakuzu POV**

Kakuzu had lived a very long time. He liked to think very little surprised him anymore.

However, when a large shark-man followed by a small kunoichi, both Mist rogues approached him, he found himself curious.

After all, most people tended to shy away from his killer intent. Not walk right into it.

"Kakuzu" the Shark-man spoke. He looked familiar from somewhere. "Been looking for you for awhile". The Shark held up empty hands to show they weren't looking for a fight.

Smart duo. They wouldn't stand a chance against him.

Didn't mean he was easing up out of his fighting stance.

Why were they familiar?

It clicked. Ahh. They had bounties.

"Kirigakure no Kaijin and Kirigakure no Arashi. Together known as Kirigakure no Shachi" he mused.

He struck without warning, but found his threads meeting the Shark's wrapped blade.

It was draining his chakra.

"No money unless we're alive" the Shark informed simply "That and we can offer you a chance at a much larger bounty"

His ears perked at the mention of more money, and he backed off slightly.

They had his attention.

"...Koneko?" the Shark looked at his companion, who was actually smiling, seeming confused. "...You okay?"

"Sorry. Fangirl moment" she apologized. She pouted "And that's my Bingo book name? Storm of the Mist? Really? Lame. Though us being known as the Shachi must be the Gondaime's sense of humor showing" Then she looked at him, not phased by his eyes "Can I touch your threads? They're epic".

Now _that_ was an odd request.

Interesting kunoichi.

"Koneko" the Shark seemed displeased with her response.

"But Kisame~" she protested "It's Kakuzu. _Kakuzu_. I told you how epic he is".

That wasn't a word most people used where he was concerned.

"Toki" the Shark, apparently called Kisame growled, unhappy.

"Oh shush. You have any idea how much I fangirl over you? I just hide it better because we're together so much" the kunoichi, called Toki grinned.

Kisame seemed to back off with this, his cheeks turning an interesting purple color.

"The offer" he reminded. While their exchange was entertaining, they'd mentioned money.

"We know the location of at least two high bounty people. Possibly a third. Unfortunately, they are too strong to be taken down easily. We're willing to show you these people, if you join us. And let you keep the bounty money" Kisame stated, coughing as if embarrassed.

"Join you? In what?" the money was _very_ tempting. But he wanted details "And how much are we talking?"

"Taking down the Akatsuki and their leader. Not Pein, their real leader" this time, Toki answered him.

"As for the money, it's well over ten million ryo with the two bounties combined" Kisame added.

That was a _very_ large sum.

"What is this Akatsuki, and why are you after their leader?" The fact they knew the location of people worth that amount was rather impressive.

"An organization bent on world peace, though their leader has plans to put the entire planet in a genjutsu to achieve this" Toki informed him.

How interesting.

It had been a long time since he found something interesting or surprising.

And that sheer amount of money...

"Then I guess I'm on your side. Provided you produce these high bounties".

"Don't worry. We will. But, we've got to wait for them to become better targets" Kisame stated.

That was fair enough.

He'd stalked bounties for months or even years, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

"And now off to Suna" Kisame nodded "Come on Koneko. Let's go see if we can't snag the puppet".

Without waiting, the Shark was darting off, the kunoichi following him with the ease of old partners.

Kakuzu found himself turning to follow.

After all, he wasn't letting that amount of money escape him.

The fact they were interesting helped their case.

And he could always turn them in if they didn't produce the bounties.

* * *

**Normal POV**

I could not believe that we'd gotten Kakuzu.

The _miser_ of all people had joined us.

But, Kisame had offered a very good bribe. Much like we used to bribe Ao-sensei.

Good bribes had worked on Ao too.

Kakuzu and Ao were really similar, it was rather scary.

The miser spoke very little as we traveled to Suna, but he had that same terrifying aura.

"You know, I have to wonder how he'd react to that story you told me" Kisame mused.

"What story?" Kakuzu's first two words in several hours.

Well, I guess we'd already screwed over the plot-line by now.

Telling Kakuzu would just add onto this crazy plan of the Sharks.

"It's a good thing Suna is awhile away..." I sighed. Then once again I launched into retelling the future.

"How do you know this?"Kakuzu asked after I was done.

"Koneko knows things. She and I are working to change them" Kisame spoke before I did. "The snake-creeper and his creeper-glasses assistant are the bounties promised to you".

"A kekkei genkai?" the miser asked.

"Yes, she has one".

"Joining you suddenly seems even more to my benefit" ah, Kakuzu. Such a miser that that was his take on this situation.

I looked at Kisame.

I knew how much he hated lying.

That he would do so for my sake...

I moved to kiss his cheek, ignoring Kakuzu.

The Shark chuckled softly, nuzzling me.

"Lovebirds" was the miser's only comment.

* * *

_Suna_

"So, we're looking for a redheaded puppet-master. Who is supposedly somewhere in this desert" Kakuzu observed Wind country with a noticeable scowl under his mask.

"Yes" I sighed, not looking forward to it either.

"I already feel like I'm going to dry up" Kisame grouched. "But in order to screw over the Lollipop, we need all the help we can get".

"At least we've got three bounty hunters for this?" I attempted optimism.

"Too bad we can't use those cats of yours to help search" Kisame teased as we set out into the deserts of Suna.

"Hey! I'm working on that!"

"Noisy brats" Kakuzu grumbled.

_Several days later_

"Finally" Kakuzu had found Sasori's trail. "This way" he took the lead.

"About time. For a puppet, this guy is hard to find" Kisame sighed "I'll be glad to get out of here. I have sand in places I didn't know existed".

"I didn't need to know that" I mock-glared at him.

"Don't go thinking perverted thoughts, Koneko" Kisame smirked.

"But-! I wasn't-! GAH!"

"Shark: 57 Kitten: 23".

_More time later_

"Thank Jashin Hiruko is such a recognizable puppet" I nodded to the familiar hunched figure.

Also not wearing an Akatsuki cloak.

"So our redhead is inside that thing?" Kisame asked.

"Yes" I nodded.

"Well, let's go say hi again" the Shark took off.

"Does he do this often?" Kakuzu grouched.

"You have no idea, Kakuzu" I sighed before following.

"I'll leave the recruiting to you two" the miser stayed where he was.

"Akasuna no Sasori" Kisame greeted. The puppet paused, scorpion tail clinking dangerously. He held up empty hands "We come with an offer".

"No interested" Sasori answered.

"At least hear us out" I protested. "You should at least think over it".

More dangerous clinking of the scorpion tail. "You have five minutes".

"We looking for help taking down an organization bent on ruling the world through genjutsu" I began.

"I don't care" the puppet answered.

"This could negatively effect your art" I tried.

"My art is eternal. It will still be here once the genjutsu goes away. Now leave. Before I decide you're a nuisance".

I looked at Kisame and shrugged.

"Have fun getting killed by an old lady and a pink haired brat" Kisame shrugged as well.

We left.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Kakuzu asked.

"You only get to know the truth if you decide to stick around and help change it. Puppet-boy was clearly not interested" Kisame stated flatly. "Where to next, Koneko?"

"We need to go keep an eye on Yagakure. Once it becomes a tourist town, then we can attempt recruiting Hidan" I answered. "We also need to watch Konohagakure. I'll need to know when the kyuubi appears to figure out where we are. I'm pretty sure Yagakure converts to tourism before that though".

"At least we can enjoy the hot springs while we wait" Kisame gave me a suggestive look that made me blush.

"Too expensive" Kakuzu rejected this idea instantly.

* * *

**Omake – Girl Issues pt.2, Kisame POV**

Most people were well aware of the female cycle.

What they didn't know was there was more to it then _that_ time where females were typically angry.

Unfortunately, due to his nose, he was _well_ aware of the other part of the cycle.

Made things... difficult.

"You alright, Kisame? You look tense" Koneko didn't know what she was doing to him. Being so close like that.

"I'm alright" just having to use every ounce of his control not to jump her. That was all. "Probably something I ate".

Or rather am wanting to eat. Mark as his.

His inner Shark thrashed, demanding to know why they weren't touching their female when she was like _this_.

He had to behave.

"I told you not to buy that meat" came the irate grumble of their miser companion.

"Only cause you thought it was expensive" Koneko laughed.

His Shark seethed.

They were going to lose their female to another!

No, no. Calm.

Still, he found his arm wrapping around Koneko's waist, pulling her close.

He snarled at Kakuzu.

The miser gave him a flat look.

"You're acting really odd, Kisame" Koneko gave him a worried look.

"I'm fine, I promise".

Holding her was a _bad_ idea. But he couldn't release her.

"Alright..." she answered.

Then Koneko gave him a playful smile and pulled him into a kiss while Kakuzu scoffed.

His mind went blank.

He did manage to return it, though his instincts were now in overdrive.

It took every ounce of willpower to restrain his Shark from attempting to claim the female they considered theirs.

Kami, this was going to be a _**long**_ day.

* * *

_Equip Kakuzu, add 10 million points of epicness. Puppets aren't interested._

_The Canon Arc (I need a better name) will have periodic time skips within it. There's various time gaps where not much of anything happens. I think you may get a chapter or two of fluff to help show the passage of time, but not consistently. _

_To explain the joint Bingo Book name, here's how Yuuki the suggester explained it: "The Shachihoko (or Shachi) of the Mist. The Shachi is a creature from Japanese folktales. A carp with the head of a tiger that was believed to cause rain and so placed on the roof of buildings to protect from fires... his (Kisame's) and Toki's sweeping of nuke-nin's may be seen in a semi-favourable light by the new Mizukage so maybe the name is kind of a way of saying "even our nuke's are preventing the fire from getting to us"". There you have it. It's humor on Mei's part._

_And I promise there's more to this than Akatsuki retrieval..._

_A wild original plot bunny will appeared!_

_**Next time –**__The Shark snarled in his mind. _

_Gone._

_Someone had taken her._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal – It had to be done, I'm sorry. And thank you ^^_

_December (x2) – Thank you :3 _

_Creepy – I'm glad you like it! And I'm still going to update as much as I can_

_Nazebaka – That result did cross my mind actually. But.. somehow I just couldn't picture it, you know? Not after he's determined that she's not in any danger from him... or at least that kind ;) Hope you liked my thank you present_

_We – I do my best, and school hadn't gotten killer quite yet. I'm glad you like it that much! I don't mean to people's sleep xD And thank you! I agree the Shark does not get enough love._

_Ie-maru – Thank you! I took your suggestion, sort of. But Storm for Toki alone. It just fit ^^_

_Chibi – It was just fair warning not to think I've died if I vanish for awhile ^^; And yes, Chibi is you. I like shortening people's names. You sould stay away from this Lollipop. He's not nice. They're recruiting! And say screw you if you don't want to join xD_

_Lady – Indeed he does. And now so does Kakuzu. +1 miser. You'll be seeing Hidan soon x3 Itachi however doesn't make his choice for awhile. And you have a point about the convincing level. Sasori doesn't give two craps. And yes the Omakes are basically canon for this story. They do actually happen, but just didn't fit in anywhere else. I'm glad I make you smile! And thank you for the suggestions ^^_

_Kitkat – Thank you! I'm glad you like my portrayal of the Shark. I hoped I did him justice :) Ao, yes. Zazbuza, maaaaaybe -shifty eyes- And I promise you have not seen the last of the Green Beast! Though he doesn't pop back up for quite some time._

_Kasai – Major screwing with Lollipops. They've now robbed him of one immortal miser. And I thought about including Pein and Konan but Nagato takes Naruto 'therapy-jutsu' to calm down, and Kisame and Toki don't have that kind of hax. Sadly -.-_

_Coco – Thank you! I'm glad you like it ^^ And the Shark needs a lot more love than he gets! And now we have yet another canon character rebelling against plot. Yay for bribing misers! As for the other misfits, you'll see :P_

_Yami – Thank you ^^ They're fourteen (Kisame) and thirteen (Toki). This Arc has a bunch of time skips to get them to the proper time period for things, it was unavoidable -sigh- And I know, I need to work on my transitions -.-; Least I don't need another one until canon is over. And while this particular chapter doesn't have much of it, you'll be see that grow, plus having a peanut gallery commenting on it xD And I hope that Omake kiss gave you slightly what you wanted :P I wanted to name her lightning, but it sounded strange in Japanese. I tried :(_

_Shadowelf – You might get that in a fluff chapter :P_

_Yuuki – Thank you! I went with your suggestion, and added your explanation as to why so other people would get it ^^_

_Guest – You're welcome :) And don't be sorry_

_Imagine – Yeah, I'm quite proud of that chapter ^^_

_Scarlet – You're welcome :)_

_Ajisai – Indeed it has. Poor Akira-san. Team Screw-Up-Plot for the win! xD Sasori is now warned his death comes from old women and pink haired girls. But Kisame is a very 'well screw you too' sort of person. And Hidan comes in. Soon ;3 And I hope this chapter answers that question. Lollipops are evil and not to be trusted._

_Sofie – Thank you ^^ And it's alright_

_Ruan – Soon-ish. The original plan was to time skip to the kyuubi attack but that requires Kisame being at least seventeen. I wasn't about to skip that many years. So you get periodic time skips with the Arc instead._

_Arcami – Happy belated birthday then! ^^ I'm glad you like this story so much. And thank you for the suggestion! And don't worry about it _

_Shadow – It's for his Koneko. And you may or may not be seeing Zabuza again._

_Nightingale – Here, have an update :P_

_TheOne – The Shark has his moments xD_

_Kenegi – Mangetsu is still alive at this point. He dies in a mission. By the time you see the Kyuubi attack, Mangetsu's dead._

_Ophy – +1 miser. That's what happens xD_

_Jo-jo – Exactly. She's not very fond of Kiri. Mangetsu dies on a very dangerous mission. As a noble shinobi still serving his Village_

_Mistress – And now a miser in the know as well! And Sasori was all DENIED, as you suspected. Kakuzu only joined cause they bribed him enough. Alas, no sexy puppets here, but at least he's warned about his death._

_Arcturus – Thank you very much, that means a lot. I'm doing my best with this story. Sometime even I have no idea where it's going, and I'm just getting dragged along by the characters xD I fully intend to continue until this tale is done ^^ Here, have an update_

_Guest __–_ I was asking for what their nicknames should be in the Bingo book. I'm thinking you'll get Ao's POV in an Omake soon. Not this one though, this one's a present.

_Draconis __–_ Thank you :3 And I hope you didn't trust that Lollipop. It must've been an evil one. And they bribed Kakuzu alright. But with the bounties on Oro-pedo-snake and Kabuto xD


	21. Damsel in Distress?

_Almost didn't publish this today. I'm posting it without my Beta's permission. Shhh._

**Disclaimer: **Don't Own Naruto

**Warning: **Language

**Beta: **Mein Benutsername

* * *

"Finally, the Land of Hot Water" I grinned "Now all we need to do is get to Yagakure".

"Still say we should visit a hot spring while we're waiting" Kisame enjoyed testing Kakuzu's temper.

"Too expensive" this was the same retort Kakuzu had used each and every time the subject had come up.

I was fairly sure the only reason we were still alive was the fact we weren't worth any money dead.

That, and we'd promised to lead him to Oro-pedo-snake and Kabuto who were worth more anyway.

"Let's go" I went to tug Kisame's hand. Trying to drag the Shark away before Kakuzu decided to say 'screw it' and kill us anyway. "We should find somewhere to make camp. We don't know how long we'll be waiting"

"Oh joy, I love the waiting game" Kisame drawled, but let himself be tugged along willingly.

"Annoying brats" the miser scowled, following after us.

""Don't worry Kakuzu, if we run into any Yagakure rogues, you can take your anger out on them" the Shark reassured.

"That will include this Hidan you're looking for" came the reminder.

"And? Not like he can die" Kisame shrugged, not caring about violence so long as it wasn't directed at me or himself.

"You have a point".

"Did you seriously just sic Kakuzu on Hidan?" I sighed."We haven't even tried recruiting him yet".

"Maybe" Kisame laughed.

"You're evil".

"Ah, but you love me anyways" Kisame kissed my cheek.

"Yes, I do" dratted Shark knew me too well.

"Must you two be so sickening?"

It really was a good thing we weren't worth any money dead.

* * *

**3****rd ****Person POV**

The Yagakure ANBU team came to a stop at their sensor's signal.

Their sensor had picked up on three strange chakra signatures, and they'd come to investigate.

They'd found three highly dangerous rogues in a well hidden camp.

A large male, looked like a shark, his hitai-ate proclaiming him a Mist rogue. Kirigakure no Kaijin. Kisame Hoshigaki. Also a known bounty hunter, infamous for being one of two nuke-nin that solely hunted other nuke-nin. S-class.

The rogue Mist kunoichi must be his partner. Toki Sudachi. Kirigakure no Arashi. An ex-hunter-nin. She was supposedly S-class as well.

Together they made Kirigakure no Shachi.

The third companion, a larger male than even the Shark-nin was a mystery, though his hitai-ate proclaimed him a rogue from Takigakure.

Their sensor quickly signed a message. The Taki rogue was a strict 'Do Not Engage'.

Must have some powerful chakra.

There were slight rippling motions from the bandaged sword that was by Hoshigaki.

Samehada, if the tales were true.

They couldn't linger much longer or the sword would alert its master to their presence.

The squad moved to retreat.

They would come back once they had a plan.

_At the ANBU camp_

They had some knockout poison.

But not much at all. They'd only be able to drop one of the three at most.

No matter which one they dropped, the other two would surely react with violence.

A fight was out of the question with the unknown variable of the Taki rogue.

Quiet hand signs to each other, not daring conversation.

They would wait for the rogues to start their watch shifts. Easier to snag just one that way.

But which one?

There was some debate on this.

The kunoichi would be easiest.

Plus, the money on her retrieval was quite tempting.

Hopefully Hoshigaki and the Taki rogue weren't an effective team.

If they were lucky they could have her to Yagakure within two days.

The two males would be idiots to challenge a Village for one kunoichi.

_Much later_

Seems the kunoichi had the last watch.

They'd been waiting nearly all night.

The ANBU waited a bit longer to make sure the other two were asleep

Poisoned senbon, tiny things that wouldn't even feel like bug bites flew though the air.

A moment or two passed.

The kunoichi swayed.

Samehada was starting to stir, would awaken Hoshigaki if they didn't leave.

She dropped.

An ANBU caught her, and they were gone.

Unseen, Samehada bristled, sending a sudden jolt of chakra to wake its master.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

The chakra jolt felt like fire in his veins.

He cursed, jumping up.

There was the distinct sound of Samehada's angry bristling.

Something had upset the sentient sword.

He took its hilt in his hand, wanting the sword to 'tell' him what was wrong.

Samehada didn't speak, but it could communicate somewhat.

Its response was to lend him its sensory abilities. Linked as their chakra was, eventually he wouldn't have to be holding the hilt for the great blade to do this.

There was the old miser's chakra, dangerous and powerful.

Something was missing.

Toki...?

That dancing spark of electricity that was her chakra.

It wasn't there.

He jumped to where she had been keeping watch, Samehada still in hand.

The sword alerted him to the faint chakra trails of others.

The Shark snarled in his mind.

Gone.

Someone had taken her.

"Kakuzu! We have a problem!"

His own chakra seethed, making Samehada bristle even more.

They would pay for taking his Koneko.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Ugh. My head.

Why did I have a massive headache?

Voices. Strange voices.

I opened my eyes, and saw ANBU masks.

Oh joy. I'd been kidnapped.

By the look of the sun, I'd been out for some hours.

Kisame would be _pissed_.

I ignored their conversation, looking for my weapons.

There. In a nice, neat pile.

Hands were bound. Rope by the feel of it.

Chakra drainers?

Yes?

No?

I made a hand sign, feeling the familiar sensation of a successful jutsu.

No.

Idiots. Lightning ninjutsu is wonderful for slicing through rope.

Let's see how they liked their 'damsel' now. I broke the binds, ANBU whirling in stunned motions.

They really should know better than not to use chakra drainers.

I made for my weapons, hands forming seals as I went. An ANBU got in the way. I only smirked and bit my hand.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

The same panther appeared in a poof.

"I already told you! I'm not helping you!" he hissed.

"Oh come on! Just this once?" I motioned to the ANBU who'd stepped back at the sight of a large cat with a katana.

The panther scoffed. "No".

"Fine. Screw you then" I growled, temper flaring. The ANBU dared to lunge. I let him close, needing the contact of taijutsu for this to work. "Raiton: Jibashi". Both ANBU and panther had to jump to evade the sudden field of electricity.

The Earth Flash had gotten stronger, tearing up the ground with vicious cracking sounds.

And the poor ANBU didn't realize their mistake in letting me touch them. "Raiton: Hiraishin". Lightning arced off me, zeroed in on the unfortunate ANBU. One down.

I snagged my weapons, deftly putting my senbon back into place as the other ANBU stood there stunned.

"Not like I need you anyway, stupid feline" I glared at the panther who was still there, before whirling the kusarigama into a blur of chain and sharp metal.

Just because I didn't like fighting didn't mean I couldn't. I was S-class for a reason.

Time for these idiots to learn that.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

Samehada stirred on his back, altering him to flares in chakra.

The bastards weren't that far away.

He was furious.

How _dare_ they take Koneko!

He barely noticed the fact Kakuzu was actually have to work to keep up with him.

Didn't care about the old miser falling behind.

Just needed to get to Koneko.

And then proceed to tear those that dared touch her into tiny pieces.

His sword alerted him to another chakra signature making its way towards the ANBU from Yagakure.

Backup?

No matter, they'd die too.

Samehada would be eating well soon.

He felt the blade move in a sign of hungry anticipation.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Another spin sent the kusarigama wrapping around another ANBU. "Raiton: Kangekiha".

It went lax. Only one ANBU left.

I wonder...

I wiped the blade of the kusarigama clean, the ANBU watching me, not willing to retreat nor attack.

There was enough blood on the ground I didn't have to use my own.

Time to see how infamous the Jashinist was in his own Village.

I had to make sure not to make a disgusted face as I put my foot into spilled blood. Had to be convincing.

I slowly draw a circle. Then the triangle.

The ANBU was obviously unsure.

"Let's see how you like being sacrificed to Jashin-sama".

From their body language the ANBU was suddenly terrified. Moving to flee.

Well, that answers that question.

I moved to attack... and found my target getting taken down by the panther that had never dismissed himself.

"You fight well. For someone that works with fish" the panther sheathed his blade. "We may just be willing to listen to you".

Huh. That was unexpected.

"Yama" the cat stated.

"What?" I blinked.

"I am Yama" he informed "I'll tell the others of your new... probationary status". And poof, he vanished.

Success! Sort of.

At least the cats would stop being so hostile.

"Jashin, this has been an odd day" I sighed.

"Damn. That was one of the most fucking sexy things I've seen all day" familiar curses made me jump. The shinobi revealed himself, cocky grin in place. "You a Jashinist too, bitch?" a nod to the symbol I'd made on the ground.

Of course I would find freaking Hidan earlier than intended.

Why the hell not?

"..." I just stared at him. Probably best not to correct his assumption, since I couldn't exactly kill him.

Hidan observed the... mess I created. "Bunch of fucking heathens, these bastards. Jashin-sama will be most pleased". He was still a Yagakure shinobi, his headband clearly unmarked.

Yep, much earlier than intended.

"Toki!" Kisame's voice made me jump again.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

He'd been so worried.

And angry. Very angry.

But then, there she was.

On a field of destruction, dead ANBU at her feet.

Anger vanished. Possessive want remained.

This wonderful scene was why the Bingo books called her Arashi. A beautiful storm, his Koneko.

She even had the immortal zealot they'd been looking for, standing there with her.

Guess Koneko had inherited her mother's ability to defy logic after all.

His inner Shark went from bloodthirsty to pleased.

It demanded they show their female how much they enjoyed the sight of her victorious.

Ignoring the zealot completely, he crossed over to her, more predator than person at the moment.

She gave him a curious look, unafraid of him even when he was like this.

He pulled her into him, kissing her roughly

Koneko's return kiss and relaxation at his touch made the Shark demand more.

He denied it this time.

"Oi! I was fucking talking to her!" the scythe wielding zealot protested.

"Get used to it. They do this often" Kakuzu informed.

"What? The first damn female Jashinist I meet and she's with the fucking piece of Sushi?!"

Irritation made Samehada bristle on his back.

He released Koneko, turning on the younger male.

"She's mine" he snarled "Go find your own".

* * *

**Normal POV**

"And what if I fucking don't? What's stopping me from stealing the bitch from you, fish-face?" Hidan snapped back, not one to back down from a challenge.

This was bad.

"Kakuzu" I held up some ryo "Restrain them please". On cue, threads darted forward, wrapping around both shinobi. "Behave" I scolded them while moving to hand over the money.

"Do we _have_ to get this one?" Kisame growled glaring at Hidan.

"Yes" I answered.

"Suck it, sushi-fucker" Hidan smirked. A pause. I could almost see the loading sign above the immortal's head "Get me for what?"

"Bringing down the Akatsuki" this was surprisingly from Kakuzu. The ryo must've put him in a good mood.

"The hell is that?" came the next question.

"An organization bent on world domination through genjutsu" I answered.

"Sounds fucking boring" Hidan was disinterested.

"You'll be able to sacrifice two shinobi who would make themselves immortal" I continued.

"You've got my attention, bitch".

"Don't call her that" Kisame snarled at him, baring his teeth.

"Oooh. You're damn scary" Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Koneko-"

"We need all the help we can get" I reminded. I turned my attention back to the zealot "You'd also be able to take part in what's sure to be several very violent battles".

"Violent battles. Wannabe immortal sacrifices for Jashin-sama. A female Jashinist. And the ability to piss off a walking piece of Sushi" Hidan mused then gave a feral smirk "You can fucking count me in".

I held up more ryo. "Ok miser-san. Release them". The threads instantly retracted and my money vanished.

"I don't like you" Kisame growled at Hidan "But... Koneko is right. We need all the help we can get".

"He's not rogue" Kakuzu bluntly motioned towards Hidan's hitai-ate.

Hidan shrugged, took a kunai, and slashed it. "I fucking am now. Never really liked that damn Village much".

Wasn't like we weren't screwing up the plot enough already. Getting Hidan before his official defection probably wouldn't cause that much more chaos.

"Would've become a tourist attraction anyways" the miser informed.

"What the hell are you talking about, damn old man?"

"Since you've joined us, you get to know the truth" I answered for Kakuzu, once more launching into the story.

_One story later_

Hidan was silent for a moment after I'd finished. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. I got blown to Jashin damned hell by a damn pineapple head?!"

"Seems a suitable end" Kisame muttered.

"Stick with us, and you can change that" I nudged the Shark lightly, attempting to get him to behave.

"Of course I'm fucking sticking around and changing the damn story! Like hell I'd take that! Let's bring this Lollipop bastard down! Make him beg for Jashin-sama's mercy!"

Looks like we had the Zombie Combo now.

"Congrats, Kakuzu. You just got your old partner back" Kisame grinned, seeming to cheer up at the thought of further annoying our miser companion with Hidan.

"At least I can kill him repeatedly when he gets annoying" Kakuzu muttered, watching Hidan darkly.

"Bring it motherfucker!" Hidan challenged.

A single movement from the miser and off went Hidan's head. "Fuck you, bastard!" the head cursed.

Ah, I'd forgotten how chaotic it was to have multiple Akatsuki members in the same place.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to have a fangirl moment...

Or if I wanted to smack them all on the backs of their heads.

I was leaning towards the smack.

* * *

_And this folks is why you don't kidnap S-rank ninja. _

_A rival has appeared! +1 zealot.__Hey, female Jashinists are hard to come by, even when they're half-assed-not-really Jashinists like Toki. Plus, Hidan and Kisame share the creepy way of finding killing sexy (I don't get it either)_

_I feel like I'm not doing Hidan justice. Suggestions on how to improve his character are welcome._

_**Next time**__ – __This was going to be bonding time for the partner pairs. I hoped Kakuzu's violent killings of Hidan didn't attract too much attention._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal – She really does have no idea xD And now Kakuzu has to deal with not only them but Hidan as well. Oh well, at least he can kill Hidan whenever he feels like 's finally earned 'probation' from the Cats at least._

_Naruhina – They are sort of very open about it already ^^_

_Coco – Only cause they bribed him. Hidan requires a bribe as well, though of a different sort. Sasori is never a patient man. Ever. Poor Shark. Koneko really gets to him sometimes._

_Deathless – They already say it openly, in front of a peanut gallery xD_

_Ie-maru – Glad you share the love of the miser. And nope, Sasori is logical, but impatient and doesn't give two craps about them. Deidara, you'll have to wait and see. And I know about Hidan and Kakuzu's temper issues xD That's why the Zombie Combo is the best. Kakuzu is already on turning him into his 'stress ball' as per suggestion ^^ And nope. Toki was never going to be the damsel in distress type. She more of the 'these guys are idiots, I'll just save myself' kunoichi. And how did you know I was going to do that last one? You must read minds._

_Arcami – Hidan is currently under the impression Toki is a Jashinist. Toki doesn't feel like correcting him. And you might be seeing Zabuza again. Canon Arc had a lot of events you might recognize :P_

_Bloody – Nope, she impresses him by going S-class kunoichi on her lackluster kidnappers. And Yagakure ANBU are not smart people... They really should think before they kidnap someone._

_I can't – Yep. Still going to do my best with fast updates ^^ And puppets don't give two craps about world-wide genjutsu. And you'll have to wait awhile for Deidara, he was the youngest Akatsuki after all._

_December – I apologize for being boring :( This story is currently in that awkward phase where certain things have to happen for cooler more interesting stuff to happen later. _

_Lady – Miser-san is weal to bribes. And yes, puppets are sticks in the mud. And Itachi is still a chapter or two away. Got to do some time skipping. And since its an obnoxiously long amount of time, you're getting a fluff chapter to help. And we have some bonding time between the two duos in it xD Though Kakuzu's and Hidan's is vastly different than Kisame's and Toki's. Maybe Akatsuki Arc, though other things happen then the retrieval/lack thereof :/_

_Zuma – Nope. He said no once, therefore his chance is blown. Only if the puppet actively seeks them out to join will he become part of the misfit gang._

_Nazebaka – I'm glad you liked my present ^^ Alas, Ao doesn't actually show back up again for a LONG time. But I'm thinking you'll have some Omakes to see what's going on with him from time to time._

_Kakashi – Poor, poor Shark. And he has great self control. Now, if that scene with Toki had corresponded to that 'other' time of the month... well... he might've lost it._

_Silmaria (x2) – Yep, Sasori's a dud. Puppet's are sticks in the mud. And that's why I picked it, it made a lot of sense ^^ And my update speed will slow down once school starts being evil again. Hiss. School. As for Itachi, you'll see. I assure you, he's not going to be an easy party to convince, if he does join._

_Mistress – I know, I apologize, but Sasori really didn't seem the type to join in on screwing up the plot. And he's warned about his death. So if he remembers the warning, maybe not. Kakuzu joins for money. Hidan joins for violence. They're getting quite the collection. You'll see Ao again eventually... just not for a long __**long **__time. I'm thinking you'll get an Omake with him though on occasion._

_Nomurai – I know, I loved the suggestion. And yes. The Cats will gradually become more important characters, and there's this entire segment where Toki and the cats have to learn how to fight together. For now though, Koneko is on probation._

_Yuuki – I liked your suggestion :3 Plus with that explanation it just made sense. And the Shark does indeed have a very blunt personality. It actually makes him easier to write, believe it or not. And exactly. Why bother? 'Wanna help f-up stuff?' usually works better than explanations anyways. Konoha appears after this next (needed) fluffy/funny chapter. I feel like I've done nothing but plot recently ._. Though it's been needed. Everyone that joins this counter-organization gets included on the truth. Helps put things in perspective :P_

_Blue – Thank you ^^ And I know, I've screwed up the timeline -.-; We'll say the Zabuza find Haku still with his coup because Mei hasn't entirely gotten rid of the leftover ilk from Yagura. _

_Scarlet – Sasori is left to his own devices. And most likely not. But thank you :)_

_Ajisal – And as bait for Hidan. Orochimaru and Kabuto are coming in very handy xD Hidan join cause violence. You'll have to wait and see on both Deidara and Itachi. Itachi first though, since Deidara is the youngest Akatsuki member. And you'll be seeing plenty of Konoha in this arc. Probably get sick of them actually._

_Guest – Thank you! And that's because Kakuzu used his threads to attack Kisame before she asked to touch them. _

_Chibi – Sasori's personality was never the type to join the Anti-Akatsuki. And don't trust t! Lollipops are evil!_

_Rlance – Thank you :3 I intend to continue with this until it's done. Although we're in the slow Arc now. Lots of things happen here, but it's all spaced out. Chibi Arc and Shippuden are more concise. And as for children... maybe. They're still in the kiss/hug stage you know... and young. Of course there's plot. Nothing is better than fluff held together by plot!_

_Shadow – I really actually like the miser. And I'd so be wanting to touch the stings, like Toki. And alas, Lollipops are evil masterminds_

_Arcaelia – Misers are suckers for large enough bribes. And Yes, Sasori is not one I thought they'd ever get. At least you're not a miser with five hearts and a nasty temper. The other part of the cycle refers to the -ahem- 'heat' stage. Human females have it too, though it's a LOT less noticeable than with other creatures. Poor Shark knows though due to his nose. And for Koneko, Kisame is willing to be a liar. Though it does grate against the grain. Nope, but Kisame's letting Kakuzu assume that seeing the 'future' is what the Kekkei Genkai of Averageness does ^^And indeed, very foolish. Especially when Koneko has claws._

_Ruan – You might see a bit of Minato, but it'll be a distance thing, while they're creeping on Konoha and attempting to figure out where the blazes they are in the storyline._

_Kage – Thank you! Here, have an update._


	22. Bonding Time

_I have a three day weekend. Which means I have a lot of time to write :3_

_And, as always, thank you for your kind attention._

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto

**Warning:**Shameless fluff, Hidan

_My Beta is busy __at the moment, and I already annoy her enough, so yeah..._

* * *

We were now in route for Konoha, intending to find somewhere close enough to stay but far enough away that we wouldn't be dealing with Konoha ANBU every five seconds.

We'd do this to keep an eye on the Leaf, basically waiting on the plot to happen.

There was a small civilian town, so the group stopped there for the moment. We wouldn't stay, Konoha was still too far away for this to be an acceptable place. Though, the people didn't even give us a second glance, outside of the usual attention a shark-man, a stitched-miser, an immortal, and myself would attract.

They didn't seem even aware of our hitai-ate, marking us simply as ninja and not rogues.

"This places is fucking boring" Hidan complained.

"You are annoying" Kakuzu growled.

"Deal with it, bastard" the zealot smirked, seeming to enjoy annoying Kakuzu as much as Kisame did. Why these two had a death wish, I had no idea.

"I guess we can stop here and get some basic supplies" the Shark beside me mused "It'll go faster if we split up". He held up ryo. "Kakuzu, at least _attempt_ to control the zealot. No causing a panic".

The miser accepted the money. "Done".

"What am I stuck with the bastard? I'd rather her" Hidan nodded to me.

"Toki is _mine_" Kisame snarled before starting to physically drag me away.

Supply shopping it was.

I couldn't help snickering to myself.

This was going bonding time for the partner pairs. I hoped Kakuzu's violent killings of Hidan didn't attract too much attention.

I'd had enough of ANBU earlier.

* * *

**Hidan POV**

Jashin damn it! Why was he stuck with the stitch-face?

Sure, the bastard was a pioneer in immortality. But the fucker really got on his nerves.

"Yo, damn old man" he spoke as they went to get more supplies. "Why are you even fucking here?"

"Money" a growl of a reply.

Suppose he should've fucking expected that.

"Yeah, they fucking said you were getting the pedo-snake's and glasses-creeper's bounties. But you're sticking around for the damn promise of money?"

He was ignored by the old bastard.

"I don't fucking get your reasoning" he tried again.

A twitch, the slight movement of threads beneath the miser's skin. It was a warning that he was getting too annoying.

"I mean, you're an old bastard with fucking anger issues. Yet, you're still here. There has to be more to this shit than just damn money. I want to know what that fucking is"

Another twitch, threads starting to poke out of the old bastard's skin.

Much more and he'd get himself fucking killed.

Again.

But now it was a challenge.

He'd get the old bastard to talk, no matter how many times he died.

"You ever though about them fucking cheating you?"

The strike came faster than expected.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"I really hope Hidan and Kakuzu don't cause any issues" I sighed "You sure we should've left them alone?"

"Positive" Kisame chuckled "The old miser can kill Hidan ten different ways before he blinks".

"That's what I'm afraid of" I shook my head "They're going to bring ANBU down on us".

"You worry too much, Koneko" he moved lightly pulling me against him. "Relax".

"Alright, you win" I grinned.

"Shark-"

"Don't you dare" cue death glare.

"Yes ma'am" Kisame snickered.

"Come on, I'm hoping this town has enough shinobi traffic to sell at least some containment scrolls. Maybe some more senbon if I'm really lucky" I tugged on his hand.

"You're going to give the miser a heart attack in all five of his hearts" the Shark followed after me with a feral smirk.

"There's supposed to be a rogue with a high bounty in this area. We'll collect him as a present so the miser doesn't kill me".

"I guess we should go hunt him down first then" Kisame's smirk got wider. "Good I've been itching for a fight".

"That's only because you find Hidan as annoying as Kakuzu does" I pointed out.

"He flirts with you, Koneko. Of course I find him annoying. I just don't want to have to deal with his bitching after I kill him. I get enough of it when Kakuzu kills him" he retorted.

* * *

**Kakuzu POV**

This pup had been getting on his nerves.

Which was why he'd murdered the annoying zealot at least five times so far.

He couldn't decide if the fact the annoyance couldn't die angered him more... or if the fact he could kill the annoyance repetitively amused him.

"I'm just fucking curious" the whelp protested again. "I just want to fucking know why in hell you're helping out with this shit. You don't seem the damn type".

"Learn to listen" he growled "I told you my reason. Money".

"Yeah, you said that the first fucking time. I still say that's a bullshit reason and that there must be more to it" the whelp seemed to think "You after the bitch too?"

The idea made him shudder.

"_**No**_" he felt the threads beneath his skin preparing to sever the immortal's body into tiny pieces if he didn't shut up.

"Then why the fuck are you here?"

That was it.

Black threads lashed out at wicked speeds, killing the whelp.

Again.

Though, he would have to piece the annoyance back together again, once he'd finished taking out his anger.

"Mother fucker! I didn't do anything to you!"

His companion's insistence on talking however would ensure that this particular scene would repeat itself numerous times today.

But, he'd been paid to control the zealot and not cause panic amongst the weak civilians here.

So, he'd be sure that each and every time he murdered his companion the civilian population would remain unaware.

Money was money, after all.

And he didn't break his word when money was involved.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

It was rather nice, to just have himself and Koneko for a little bit.

The old miser wasn't _that_ bad to have around. Quiet, except for his constant grouching about money.

The new immortal addition to their merry band of misfits however...

He wished he could feed the zealot to Samehada.

But the damned man was impossible to kill. Kakuzu, to give the miser credit, had tried numerous times already.

Even his Shark had decided this prey simply was not worth the earful of whining they'd get after tearing him into pieces.

Besides, Koneko was still soundly his.

She didn't even have one of those so-called 'fangirl' moments over the Jashinist.

In fact, so far she'd only done that over himself and Kakuzu.

Though he hadn't liked it at the time, he admitted now that the look on the old miser's face when Koneko had asked to touch his threads was priceless.

Perhaps he had her insanity to thank and to blame for this.

He felt Samehada rumble on his back, the sword happy after having been fed that rogue bounty they'd fetch for Kakuzu.

Plus his mood affected Samehada's, so the fact he was relaxed helped.

He vaguely wondered if the great chakra sword would allow Koneko to touch it. Normally, it would attack anyone but the current wielder...

But... Samehada had woken him when she'd been taken.

Perhaps later, he'd see how the blade responded to her.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"I'm thinking that's everything" I nodded, satisfied. "Hope Kakuzu and Hidan didn't cause too many issues"

"Yeah, whatever" Kisame was irritated, this last shopkeeper having caused some issues. His temper was riled up, and he was giving everyone death glares.

"Kisame"

"What, Koneko?"

I tugged him down to kiss him. A harder kiss than I usually dared, but he needed it. He froze, stunned, before returning it.

I pulled back. "Better?"

The Shark blinked at me. "...What was I doing again?"

"Taking that as a yes" I grinned before tugging his hand to pull him in search of our other two companions.

_A few moments later_

"There they are. And look Hidan's in one piece" the Zombie Combo was waiting on us patiently. And while I could clearly see that Hidan had been stitched up at _least_ twice, he was still whole. Better than what I'd expected.

"Here, Kakuzu, a gift" I tossed him the marked containment scrolls. Probably wouldn't mention the extra expenses. The miser was most likely very touchy after having had to gather supplies with our zealot.

Kakuzu knew exactly what would be the scroll, we'd given him them before numerous times, so he simply pocketed it.

"What the fuck was that?" came the eloquent question from Hidan.

"You should pay attention" Kakuzu whacked Hidan on his head. "That, whelp, was money".

"Didn't fucking look like money. Looked like a damned scroll".

"The scroll has a bounty inside" Kisame rolled his eyes.

"It's why the miser's stuck around so long. We give him nice gifts" I laughed.

"Otherwise, he'd have probably ditched some time ago" the Shark agreed. "Plus, he's also wanting those nice bounties on pedo-snake and glasses-creeper".

"You fucking serious? I got killed how many Jashin damned times today because that's his fucking reason?!" Hidan protested.

"You were the one would wouldn't listen" Kakuzu stated flatly.

"Kakuzu stays for the money. You stay for the violence" I shrugged.

"What fucking violence? Todays been so damn peaceful I'm about to sacrifice this whole shitty town to Jashin-sama" Hidan snarled.

"That violence" Kisame nodded. "Kakuzu, I thought I payed you not to cause any chaos and control the zealot".

Seems we'd attracted ANBU attention after all.

"It wasn't us. Or at least nothing we did" Kakuzu returned. Kisame sighed, but shrugged as he reached for Samehada. The miser was never one to lie about money.

"Hehehe" Hidan's smirk went bloodthirsty as he went for his scythe "Let's dance, bitches".

"And here I thought we could have one peaceful day. Just one" I pouted even as my hands went for senbon.

* * *

**3****rd ****Person POV**

The ANBU really hadn't known what they were up against when they'd decided to engage the four rogues spotted in a civilian town.

They'd of course thought it odd that the nuke-nins hadn't been causing any trouble. It had really been sheer luck that a traveling shinobi had taken notice of them at all.

But it wasn't like the ANBU could just ignore the rogues being there. Especially not rogues as dangerous as these or with such high bounties.

They should have just pretended not to notice and been on their way.

There were two partner pairs, who worked very well together, both as partners and as a whole unit of four.

The first pair was the infamous duo known as Kirigakure no Shachi. The large Shark-nin tore them shreds with his giant blade as it ate their chakra. Senbon and the deadly whirl of a kusarigama kept any of them from even thinking about flanking him. Then there was the matter of the combination of powerful water and lightning techniques making even more deadly combinations.

It wasn't odd for one of the ANBU to find themselves targeted by an electrified water-shark.

Those that got hit didn't survive.

Then there was the other duo. Obviously new partners, but working well together all the same. The larger male was using threads coming out of his skin, tearing into his opponents easily. And no matter what they did to the silver-haired one, he just _wouldn't_ die, scythe a crimson blur. Until, some unlucky ANBU got nicked. Then the younger male would stand in a symbol of blood, transform to looking like a skeleton, and making every wound he received appear on the unfortunate other while laughing crazily about how amazing the pain was.

If ever one of the four was in danger, which was rare, and their partner was unable to respond, which was rarer, then one of the other remaining two would step in, quickly dispatching that danger.

If there was a lesson to be learned here, it was that ignoring nuke-nin who weren't causing issues was always an option.

Too bad none of the ANBU would be left alive to pass on this bit of wisdom.

* * *

**Omake – Gone, Ao POV**

Two.

Two of his students had gone rogue. And he was a hunter-nin sworn to go after them.

But...

He knew why they'd left.

The burned down house was more than enough evidence for him to 'hunt' for them but consistently come up empty handed.

The same fate had hit Mangetsu's family, leaving only him and a baby brother.

Snowy had not taken the loss well either. He was throwing himself into more and more dangerous missions, only seeming to care about his life because he was all the much younger Suigetsu had.

This was all very wrong.

He wished he'd gone after a rogue Hyuuga sooner. Then he could've used the Byakugan he now possessed under his eye-patch to see through the lie Yagura had fed him.

"Still no sign of them?" the Gondaime asked.

"No Mizukage-sama".

"Of course. They are very slippery rogues. And skilled shinobi I would like to have back with us, though I understand why they would not return here to Kirigakure" she sighed.

"I do not think any offer you made would even tempt Hoshigaki or Sudachi, Mizukage-sama. And without one, you won't get the other" he informed.

"I am aware. And there's rumor that they've started to collect other strong rogues. Rogues they've asked to join them instead of bringing them down".

"Hai Mizukage-sama, I've heard that as well, though this supposedly larger group still only hunts other rogues and defends themselves when attacked".

"A Swordsman and a hunter-nin, Ao. Two deadly shinobi. What cause would they have to ask others to join them for?"

"I do not know, Mizukage-sama".

"Do your best to find out. I feel like they know something we don't".

"Of course, Mizukage-sama".

"At least get me the information, Ao... even if they happen to slip away afterwards".

"Hai, Mizukage-sama".

* * *

_Not much going on here aside from showing some team dynamics. I did warn you it was fluff. Fluff you got because we're about to hit several time skips_

_**Next time –**__ "__That damn fox is causing a lot of fucking damage. Can I keep it?"_

"_So that's Kurama then?"_

"_That's him"_

"_Misunderstood my ass"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal – Kisame shameless shoves Hidan unto Kakuzu as much as he can xD You'll see more of those moments later. This was mainly showing the two actual pairs and how they're interaction went. And thank you! ;~; I'm so glad people seem to like this. I never imagined it'd get this much love. Here, have an update! And both Koneko and Kisame have learned: You want something? Bribe Kakuzu._

_Coco – Not quite yet. They still have to attempt snagging Itachi and Deidara. And even once they have them, they still have other things which must be taken care of before attempting to take on a Lollipop. As for Hidan, for the moment he remains convinced Toki is a Jashinist (just a really bad one who consistently forgets to sacrifice). He's a bit dense. _

_Yuuki – Of course. She is a S-class kunoichi. And you'll be seeing some cat-chaos in the next chapter as it's basically a couple time skips in one thing. Alas, there's no real way around it. And yep, only Kisame likes to think Mangetsu and Ao were much less annoying. It also doesn't help matter Toki is capable of frying his brain :P_

_White – Not exactly worth money, but taking down ANBU is always fun. And now you see why Kakuzu has stuck around. He's given bounties as presents. Of course the miser's sticking around for that. Hidan liking Toki is why Kisame shoves the immortal onto Kakuzu every chance he gets._

_Arcami – Itachi is fast approaching. You'll be seeing the peanut gallery's comments about how long they're having to wait while we're in the official time skippage chapter. I wanted to show some dynamics before I did that, so you get this ^^ Usually you've got to earn being reverse summoned. Time skippage will show Toki getting out of probation, but I don't think the Cats will reverse summon her yet. As for Boss cat, nope. I'll make up something epic._

_Fear – Thank you so much :3 I try my best to write this story as well as its mini-anime is playing out in my mind. And no thank you ^^; I'm happy being single_

_Ie-maru – Hidan, our most favorite zealot, currently think Toki is just a very lazy Jashinist. You'll see seom funny comments about it next chapter when a lot of skipping occurs. Kisame hasn't yet killed Hidan surprisingly. But that's just because he knows Hidan will whine about it. Kakuzu however has already murdered him numerous times. And I think I might have her do that, just to make sure Hidan doesn't turn on them._

_Silmaria – Woot! And it's alright. I was brain dead a bit too. Staring at the page attempting to write this chapter._

_December – Thank you ^^ And gosh dang it. I'll go find it._

_Cjhoax – Dumb question number one: What? Explain please_

_TheQueen – At the end of this chapter currently 14(Kisame) and thirteen (Toki), but we're about to hit a major time skip chapter where they age rapidly._

_Nazebaka – I kept you up! I'm sorry! And gore before bed does sound nice. And pfft. Fanfiction rules all of life xD I'm only able to do this because school isn't even yet. When I've gone seemingly poofed out of existence then school's being evil_

_Pepper – Thank you :D And of course. Toki is based highly on myself and I adore the Shark and the Akatsuki. Therefore, so does she. Itachi isn't next chapter, but I __**think **__you might see him the chapter after that. You'll be seeing how that goes down soon enough. As for an inside man, that's a good idea. Though neither Kisame nor Toki want to take that risk and thus lose one of their rightfully stolen Akatsuki members. Puppets are sticks in the mud. Hidan is probably about eight/nine so he's shamelessly hitting on an older woman. For some reason though, I really can't imagine Hidan ever being mellow. Even in his younger years. Kisame likes to think Mangetsu was not nearly as annoying. I like the miser too, so I'm glad you think I got his personality :3 And stalk all you want! Sure, you can glomp him. I don't mind. I can't promise that neither he nor Toki will be happy about it though :P_

_Lady – I'm glad. Hidan is one of my top favorite Akatsuki members so I wanted to portray him correctly. Here's you fluff, no Itachi just yet xD And no, we all know Kisame and Toki can handle their chaos just fine._

_Olaf – let's go with fate cause it sounds cool xD I'm glad you like it ^^ I try my for lemons, this is T-rated... so you'll get some scenes where it's clear what's going to happen next, but fades to black. PG13 stuff basically._

_Ariados – Thank you very much :3 I too was tired of the OC ending up in Konoha. [rant] There are more shinobi villages out there people! Let's see OCs in Suna for Gaara! Yagakure for Hidan! Taki for Kakuzu! Iwa for Deidara! Or hell at least Konoha for someone that __**isn't**__team 7! [/rant]_

_Dimensional – Thank you very much :D_

_Cloud – Thank you! I'm doing my best to make her growth seem normal and realistic. Here's an Omake with what's going on with Mist. You might be seeing Ao soon than I thought you would from that mission he just got. And I apologize -.-; I'm just sorta working my way around the mess up. Which is why next chapter has a lot of time skiping so we can actually get __**into**__canon. That was the only issue is that this tale started so much earlier than canon did making the transition isn't easy. And thank you for the info! _

_Scarlet – Here ya go ^^_

_Ajisai – And now for 22 and still going strong! Hellz yeah! xD Yama is the best. He's a very gruff character who amuses me to no end. You'll probably see the puppet master again eventually. Though he'll be in the Akatsuki. Itachi is much too young, about 2-ish since he's about 11/12 years younger than Kisame. Which is why you're having to wait so long to see him. Minato and Kushina are alive at this point, but they'll be gone by next chapter since the time-skipping shows the kyuubi attack. And the time-skip should answer that question, we'll end up in VERY early canon, peanut gallery commenting on team 7._

_Pierce – Thank you! :) I'm having fun writing this, so I'm glad you liked it. And I'm so going to copy paste my rant here. Be warned. [rant] There are more shinobi villages out there people! Let's see OCs in Suna for Gaara! Yagakure for Hidan! Taki for Kakuzu! Iwa for Deidara! Or hell at least Konoha for someone that __**isn't**__team 7! [/rant] Ok. We're good now. It's not KisaSaku though... (it's KisaOC or KisaToki) Yay! Fans! Makes me so happy ;~;_

_Ceres – Of course. Though the miser is constantly have to sew Hidan back up again. Toki shows that she's not some helpless girl. And as for B, I have no idea o.o_

_Chibipanda – Thank you! I'm glad I make you squeal :) And I plan to keep it up until its finished ^^_

_Bloody – Not yet, but maybe later when they actually become friends xD_

_Shadow – Yep. +1 zealot. And not really, so long as she curses to Jashin and draws a bloody symbol every now and then, Hidan will be convinced._

_Guest – Yay zealot!_

_Deathless – Sasori doesn't give two craps, sadly._

_Kitkat – And here you have some Zombie Combo dynamics. Kakuzu kills Hidan numerous times in this chapter xD And of course she can take care of herself. She's S-class! If/when Hidan finds out Toki's a half-assed-not-really Jashinist I think he'll be cool with it. He's mainly there for the violence anyways. In fact he'll probably start trying to fully convert her... which could lead to some interesting scenes xD Toki is going to let the basic founding of canon occur. She won;t know diddly crap about the story if she alters the kyuubi attack or the massacre. _

_Fk – Here, have an update :P And it's alright, I'm just glad people actually read this story of mine ^^_


	23. Fastforward

_This chapter turned out vastly different than expected ._._

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Hidan, Shameless fluff, PG-13

_Beta still busy_

* * *

"You have any fucking idea how long we gotta wait on this damn story to get going?" few would know it from his language, but the Jashinist was in a good mood. After all, he'd just gotten to sacrifice yet another rogue to Jashin-sama.

"If I'm calculating the ages and respective years correctly... two more years. Kisame has to be about seventeen for the Kurama incident to occur" I answered.

"Two more years of hunting rogues and evading Konoha ANBU" Kisame chuckled.

"And even then, we still can't get Itachi. He's six during the attack, and doesn't defect until after the Massacre when he's thirteen" I sighed.

"Another fucking seven years of waiting around for this damn Uchiha bastard?!" Hidan whined.

"He had better be worth it" Kakuzu, as always, wanting some sort of benefit.

"He is" I assured "Itachi is a genjutsu prodigy. He's exceedingly smart, ex-ANBU captain by the time we get him. In the story, Kisame was also known to acknowledge that Itachi was the stronger one".

"Heh. Kid sounds impressive" the Shark mused. "I'm surprised though, Koneko, that you're willing to let the fox attack happen, not to mention the Massacre".

"Sad as it is, those have to happen for me to have any idea of what will happen next. Sure, we've screwed up the plot already. But we've honestly had little effect on canon itself, so far as I know. Our changes won't really hit until we get to Shippuden" I shook my head.

"Fucking heathens should get killed anyway" was our zealot's opinion.

"We'll have to keep moving then. So we don't attract ANBU by staying so close to Konoha for so long" Kisame cast his gaze to the sky in a thoughtful gesture. A pause "You mentioned Itachi was ill".

"With what I don't know. But yes. He's got a terminal illness and is going to go slowly blind from the Mangekyo. That's far beyond my basic medical ninjutsu".

"I think I've got an idea of how to help the Weasel, should he join us" the Shark smirked "Can't have my old partner becoming useless".

"Care to share?" I asked.

"Nope" his smirk got wider "Since he's got to join us first".

"Can I at least have a hint?" I pouted.

"We'll be screwing up this story of yours even more than we already have".

"That's not really helpful" I sighed.

"Hidan will get more violence. Kakuzu will get more money. So you two better hope we acquire a Weasel" Kisame smirked at the others.

"If I get to sacrifice more fuckers to Jashin-sama because some damn Weasel joins us, then I say he'd better join if he fucking knows what's good for him" Hidan scowled.

"And I'm not willing to let money escape me so easily" Kakuzu's eyes glinted.

"Are you going to sic our current members on the potential new recruit every time?" I arched an eyebrow at the Shark.

"...Maybe" he just grinned back at me.

* * *

**3****rd****Person POV**

There was the sound of a screeching roar. Konoha was in flames, the shinobi darting here and there, making the Village Hidden in the Leaves look like a kicked nest of ants. Buildings were being destroyed lives being lost, and the kyuubi no kitsune did not cease its destruction.

The shinobi of the Leaf were so occupied with the demon fox that four rogues watching from the very top of the Hokage Mountain went completely unnoticed.

"That damn fox is causing a lot of fucking damage" the silver hair male stated, the hitai-ate around his throat proclaiming him a Yagakure rogue "Can I keep it?" Other than a death glare from the the masked shinobi beside him and the lone kunoichi, he was ignored.

"So that's Kurama" this time the masked one spoke, a rogue from Takigakure judging by his hitai-ate.

"That's him" came the confirmation from the only kunoichi of this odd group. Her hitai-ate was scratched as well, this time with the symbol of Kirigakure.

"Misunderstood my ass" the comment came from the large shark-man beside her. Like the kunoichi, he was a rogue from the Mist as well.

"Kurama's a bit pissed off at the moment. You would be too if you just escaped Sharingan control" she nudged the Shark lightly "Plus, he hasn't gone through therapy-jutsu yet". Her gaze went back to the fox. "He's sort of terrifying, I'll admit. Now that he's actually there in front of me".

"Don't worry, Koneko" the Shark gently ruffled her hair in a comforting way. "We're far enough away that we can hightail it should we attract his attention".

"I fucking doubt we will. He's kind of damn busy with the fucking heathen Leaf bastards" this was as close to comfort as the silver-haired one got.

"It's not safe to raid the houses for valuables thanks to that fox though" the masked one grumbled "Pity".

"Everything is about fucking money with you, damn old man. Enjoy watching this fucking slaughter! Not like we're going to see something like this shit again for awhile. It's probably fucking back to damn rogue pussies after this" the younger male gaze the masked shinobi a glare. This got black threads lashing out, easily beheading him. "What the fuck did I do to deserve that?!" the head protested.

"You were breathing" came the reply.

The kunoichi just gave a sigh. As if this was something she had to deal with often. "We'll go once Kurama is sealed. That way nobody will notice us here".

"Not like that could put up a decent fight about us being in their Village after dealing with our furry friend there anyway" the Shark too sighed. Both he and the kunoichi had gotten used to the violence of their other two companions.

* * *

**Normal POV**

We were some distance from Konoha, having left the moment Kurama was sealed away into Naruto. Seven years was a long time to wait, so we'd spend it traveling and bounty hunting, as we had before.

At seventeen now, Kisame was an impressive sight. He'd finally stopped growing, topping out at about six foot four. I didn't know much much he weighed, but it was basically all solid muscle, practically making my nose bleed every time I saw him shirtless lately.

Me, I was done growing too, had been for some time. At five foot six, all of the others were taller than I was. And I was still tiny, the muscles of an active kunoichi barely looking like they were there. If I tried, I could probably pass as a civilian.

Hidan had also grown to look like his canon self. Kakuzu remained unchanged, but this was no surprise.

"Still can't believe we've got to fucking wait seven damn years" the zealot complained.

"You are impatient" the miser scolded.

"It's seven fucking years, bastard!" Hidan protested.

"And you're immortal. What does it matter?"

"Motherfucker".

"Ahh. Always so pleasant" I muttered.

The Shark running beside me laughed at my expense. "Problems, Koneko?"

"You all interact much like you did when you were in the Akatsuki. And I can never decide if I want to have a fangirl moment or..."

"Or what?" he smirked at me.

"Or if I want to sacrifice you all to Jashin-sama" I answered with a lethal smile, using my killer intent "Maybe feed you to my cats". There was only so much irritation even I could take. Though I wasn't sure the cats would be willing to eat the others. I had only recently gotten out of probation. They were still unsure of me.

Silence from all three males.

"Wow. That was fucking sexy" Hidan whistled "I knew there was a damn reason I liked you, bitch".

"Next time, warn me that Ao-sensei taught you how to be absolutely terrifying" the Shark stated flatly before baring his teeth at Hidan as he pulled me close with a snarl at the Jashinist. "She's _mine_".

"Even I'll admit, that was impressive" high praise coming from Kakuzu.

I sighed.

Impressive or not, they hadn't shut up.

_Some time later_

We'd just made camp.

"You aren't covering your tracks very well". A flurry of weapons and attacks the speaker had to dodge as they came into the light.

"Ao-sensei" Kisame and I chorused, though neither of us eased out of our fighting stance.

"Oh, someone you fucking know. Can I sacrifice him?" Hidan twirled his scythe.

"A high bounty. But not rogue" Kakuzu sulked slightly. He was well bribed/payed to follow the 'rogues only' rule.

"I came to talk" Ao held up his hands.

"Start fucking talking then, bastard" the zealot demanded.

"It's not safe for you here, shishou" I added.

"I am aware of this, Toki. You have any idea how much money is on your heads?" Ao gave a wry smile.

"Finally. Someone else that understands what's important" Kakuzu eyed Ao, unsure if he approved of the hunter or not.

"What do you want sensei? We know you. You aren't seen unless you want to be" Kisame only relaxed a small fraction, though Samehada never left his hands.

"The Mizukage would like you two back. Since you left under... extenuating circumstances" Ao answered.

Kisame and I gave him a flat look.

"Yes, I told her much of the same" he sighed "If I couldn't get you to come back, I was to ask a question".

"Well, you going to get to the fucking point and ask the damn question?" Hidan snarled.

"The Mizukage... and admittedly myself would like to now why you're suddenly gathering rogues to your side. We're well aware that you two don't need any help" Ao explained.

Kisame and I looked at each other in a silent exchange.

Should we include Ao in the truth?

He wouldn't be joining us. Our old sensei had too important of a role in Kirigakure to abandon it.

And the policy was that, if you don't join, you don't get to know.

Maybe not now... but later perhaps?

Later worked.

When we were closer to when the Kages, and thus Ao himself, would become involved in the War against Lollipops.

"We can't tell you now, shishou" I answered.

"But, we can honestly say you'll find out eventually" Kisame finished.

As the two of us were the ones in charge, neither Hidan nor Kakuzu protested.

Ao sighed. "Very well. I never saw you, you didn't see me. Just make sure to hide your tracks better". And then he was gone.

We waited a moment before relaxing out of our fighting stances.

"It's too bad we couldn't keep him" I mused "It'd be nice to have a more reasonable person. You'd like him, Kakuzu. He's a miser, like yourself".

"He knows what's important then" was Kakuzu's only comment.

"We should move camps... just in case. And I'll make sure there's noting for them to trace" I stated as we all got up to go.

"Fucker. Right after I got damn settled too" Hidan grouched.

"You whine too much" Kakuzu glared.

* * *

**Count Down to Itachi**

_Years left – 6_

I bit my hand and performed the summoning jutsu. Cue puff of smoke.

"... Yes? Probationary Contractor" Yama stared at me flatly

"Must you call me that? I thought I got off probation" I pouted.

"It annoys you. So, yes" a flat stare.

"How in Jashin do I win you all over?" I complained.

"Magic".

"You're no help. Well, I guess I'll just do what I did with Kisame then. Come on Yama. Let's train together. We've got to figure out how to combine our fighting styles anyway".

Yama gave a considering pause, tail twitching. "Fine" he finally agreed.

"Alright, let's do this" I grinned.

_Sometime later_

Kisame found himself being glared at by a pair of feline eyes.

"Fish" Yama stated, staring.

"Shark" he corrected "And what do you want?"

"How do you work with her?" a paw to indicate myself.

"What do you mean?" Kisame blinked in confusion.

"Kisame, remember back to when we first started attempting teamwork?" I asked sighing.

"That embarrassment? Why?"

"Same situation" I hung my head. If the cats all fought like Yama, they had a lethal grace to them. One I was not used to. I was used to the blunt straightforward berserker that was Kisame.

"I think I got an old shirt I can spare" the Shark smirked.

"Jashin, please no" I cringed..

"What's so horrible about an old shirt?" Yama asked.

"Blindfold training. Akira-san style. You two better get ready to dodge. I think I'll go rope Hidan and Kakuzu into this as well. You learn to work together while being attacked by three S-class nuke-nins and you're set" Kisame smirked, daring to kiss my cheek before going to fetch the shirt and the other two.

"Jashin damn that Shark" I blushed.

"Somehow I feel like asking him was a bad idea" Yama murmured.

"You have no idea what you have just subjected us to. And, as your Contractor, I forbid you from dismissing yourself until its over. You got us into the mess. You're sticking around to learn your lesson" I glared at the cat.

* * *

_Years left – 5_

"I swear these rogues are getting less and less challenging with each one we take down" Kisame pouted.

"That cause we're four S-class nuke-nins going after a single target. If they put a decent fight, I'd be impressed" I reminded him.

"Fucking boring" Hidan grumbled.

"Perhaps it's better to split up for awhile then?" the Shark offered "That way we can tackle more bounties at the same time. And Hidan and I will actually get to have decent fights".

"More money is always good" Kakuzu agreed.

"If it gets me more fucking entertaining fights, I'm fucking all for it" Hidan shrugged.

"Alright. Fine" I had to admit, it would be good to just be Kisame and I again for awhile. And the Zombie Combo still needed some teamwork lessons. I held up a decent amount of ryo. "This is half Kakuzu".

"Half?" the miser questioned, taking it.

"You get the rest of it when you meet back up with us when it's time to try recruiting Itachi" I explained.

"Very well" he pocketed it. Then he started to drag Hidan away. "Come on, whelp. Time is money".

"Motherfucker! You don't have to fucking drag me, damn old man!" Hidan snarled.

This continued until finally silence descended.

"Peace and quiet. I never thought I'd hear it ever again" Kisame gave a happy sigh.

"I second that" I smiled softly.

"And then there's another wonderful fact we haven't mentioned" the words were almost a purr.

"What's that?"

Kisame was suddenly really close, almost kissing me but not. "I get to have you to myself for the first time in forever".

I flushed.

"Don't worry, Koneko. I'll behave..." he winked "...maybe".

I felt my eyes narrow.

Alright, two could play at this game.

Challenge accepted, Shark.

* * *

_Years left – 4_

"Koneko, have you seen my shirt?" Kisame yawned, having just woken up and gone to take a bath in a nearby river.

Now he was a very sexy shirtless and still slightly wet Shark.

I pretended not to care. I very barely succeeded.

"Didn't you take it with you?" I asked, keeping a blank and innocently disinterested expression.

"Yes. But it was gone by the time I got out" he grumbled.

Time to play him at his own game. And unfortunately for him, I had those kunoichi classes about seduction. I grinned, standing and approaching him. "I don't really see why you need it. I'm rather liking the view" I informed a hand touching his collarbone lightly.

Kisame instantly turned that wonderful shade of purple that indicated he was blushing. "I- I..." words were failing him.

I got the distinct feeling that his emotions were a mix of shock, want, and slight confusion. How I knew this, I don't know.

I decided to ignore the strange sense of knowing his emotions and continued. I decided to give him a rather fierce kiss. It was brief and I pulled back before he could recover and return it. "Yep. Definitely enjoying the view" I grinned producing his missing shirt and then darting off.

There was a beat a silence.

"Come back here with my shirt, you devious woman!"

I just laughed and ran for it.

Not used to having the tables turned on you, huh Kisame?

* * *

**Kisame POV**

_Years left – 3_

He'd had it!

A man and a shark could only take so much of this!

It was a damned miracle that he'd behaved himself so long.

Koneko had finally decided to turn his tactics against him.

And they were damn effective!

Kami, he was twenty-one now, she was twenty, the teasing was no longer as innocent as it used to be.

In fact, he was sure they'd reached the stage where it was almost no longer innocent at all.

His Shark was almost gone from under his control.

Its main demand had ceased registering as a want but now was rather a need.

That demand repeated in his mind constantly (especially at certain times of the month) was that he finally lay claim to their female.

He wasn't honestly sure how much more it'd be before he'd snapped.

He had been a good Shark for a _very_ long time.

His inner predator stirred.

No longer.

It was time for Koneko to know just exactly was she was messing with.

**Normal POV**

There was something... off about Kisame.

We'd been partners for a very long time, I could tell when he was normal and when he was in a more... feral state.

But... now it seemed a strange mix of the two I'd never seen before.

I wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, so I just continued as normal, figuring he'd snap out of it eventually.

"A civilian town" I observed "Want to chance an inn? Or is it the woods again for tonight?"

He was watching me with that... odd look in his eyes again. "Kisame?"

"Let's scout the town" he finally answered "If we're sure its safe, I'd rather the inn".

"Agreed" Inns meant a bath and bed. Not more dirt.

After a brief scan of the town to decide it was safe, we made for the nearest inn and got a room.

"You first to the shower or me?" I asked.

"You can go first" he answered, giving me that look again.

"...Alright" I headed to go get clean.

**Kisame POV**

Now that Koneko was getting clean he had to think.

How exactly did he go about this and not screw up?

The distinct sound of her in the shower getting clean was giving him mental images that were _not _helping this situation.

He sat there awhile, unable to think of a clever way of going about this.

Well, perhaps there wasn't.

He felt himself begin to smirk.

He was a blunt person anyway.

Koneko knew that.

She was the only thing that gentled him, and he didn't exactly _do_ gentle.

Perhaps simply making it clear would work.

An honest approach.

His inner Shark was pleased by the prospect.

"All yours" Koneko came out of the shower.

If he'd had a plan it would've vanished in that instant.

The sight of her borrowing one of his shirts to sleep in and the smell of her being freshly clean broke his control with an almost audible _snap_.

He got up, and headed towards her, intent on claiming what was his.

He'd finally follow that order she insisted on giving him.

'Bite me'.

Gladly.

**Normal POV**

Kisame had that look again when I came out of the shower and informed him he could have the bathroom.

Then he _moved_.

I was very used to Kisame, I could usually tell his mood just by glancing at how he carried himself.

But this... there was a feral look to his movements I didn't recognize.

Want. The sensation registered in my mind, and somehow I knew it came from Kisame.

"Kisame?" I wasn't sure I should be trusting this strange emotional radar I'd seemed to have acquired.

"Toki" my name came out as a near growl as he successfully backed me into the wall. "You have any idea what you do to me?"

Apparently the emotional radar was right.

"M-maybe?" I wasn't the scardy cat I'd been before. But I didn't really know what I was dealing with here.

"My Koneko" a low sound, his words quiet as he trapped me there. Kisame leaned in and I felt his teeth grazing my neck, right along that old scar from Zabuza.

I felt myself turn into a tomato with an intense blush.

"K-kis-" he cut me off with a kiss. A possessive one that he then turned into a French kiss, sharp teeth included.

Jashin, it was a miracle I wasn't a puddle yet.

He pulled back with a low growl. A pause, like the Shark was attempting to gather what control he had over himself.

"Toki" he went back to my throat, grazing the scar with his teeth again. "Let me claim you".

Well wasn't that a romantic proposition?

But this was Kisame.

The Shark's version of romance was highly different than a normal person's.

Coming from him, this was probably as romantic as he got, outside of admitting he loved me.

And...

I honestly couldn't think of a good reason why not.

I felt myself mutely nod.

A low chuckle. "Good. But don't go turning scared on me" a playful nuzzle before I felt sharp teeth biting into my neck over the old scar.

* * *

_Years left – 2_

"You know, we probably should start heading back to meet up with the other two. Kakuzu will be pissed if he doesn't get the rest of his bribe" I mused.

"Must we? I enjoy having you to myself" Kisame's hold tightened both playfully and possessively.

"That's just cause you're a perv" I grinned at him.

"And you're not?" he retorted.

"... Touché"

"Though, I admit you're right about one thing" the Shark smirked.

I felt possessive pride coming from him on the emotional radar.

At least I knew what this was now.

Yama had explained emotion sensing came to those Contractors acknowledged by the Cats.

As I was one of those, I got the gift.

Thus, I could tell I was going to regret asking my next question. "And what am I right about?"

"Shirtless is a good thing" he gave me an obvious once over. "Though, I prefer no clothes at all".

I flushed brightly, unable to think of a good retort to that.

* * *

_Years left – 1_

"Here you go, miser-san. The other half, as promised" I handed over the ryo.

Kakuzu counted it before nodding and pocketing it in a satisfied way.

Hidan stared at us.

"What do you want, zealot?" Kisame glared back.

"Something's fucking different about you two" he grumbled.

"What the hell are you talking about?" the Shark responded.

A pause.

Then suddenly Hidan pointed at us "You two are fucking screwing aren't you?!" the immortal shouted.

I blinked, caught off guard.

"...Yeah, what of it?" Kisame growled. Then it morphed into a smirk as he wound an arm around me "I told you she was mine".

"Jashin damn it! How the hell am I supposed to fucking steal a girl that's screwing somebody else?" Hidan complained.

"You're not" the Shark snarled.

I wished I could sink into the ground in embarrassment.

"Annoying brats" Kakuzu sighed, unimpressed with the whole scene.

* * *

_Very different than expected. Hope you enjoyed my time-skip chapter :P_

_And as a reviewer Kasai pointed out, this group of nuke-nin need a name. So! What shall we call this Anti-Akatsuki? (not that name, that's lame) _

_**Next time –**__ "__Itachi Uchiha. You have no idea how long we've been waiting on you"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal – I'm glad ^^ And no, Hidan doesn't get to keep Kurama, despite him wanting to. And also bribe Kakuzu to make sure he shows up again when splitting up for a long time. Here, have an update ^^_

_KitKat – Yay! It was intended to be funny :3 And it's a very good thing Hidan's so hard to kill. As for Ao, I don't really know. I know in canon he really does encounter a rogue Hyuuga and get the Byakugan from them. And I am too, but it's one of those things that has to happen._

_Cat – It's alright ^^ I do love writing the Zombie duo. They crack me up. And the Shark only barely survives whenever his kitten decides to pounce._

_Kakashi – I highly suspect it was as well. I'm glad you think I do our favorite Jashinist justice :)_

_Syoka – Toki doesn't know when/where Mangetsu dies. So while she like Mangetsu she can do nothing about his death._

_Ie-maru – Yes, it was xD And he thought about it, but it'd bring him too close to the kyubi's destruction. So he just decided to leave be. Besides, he gets paid enough sticking with Toki and Kisame's constant bribes._

_Pierce – It's alright! Toki just doesn't share her Shark :P _

_Mistress – That sucks :/ More fluff for you! And yes, killing something annoying again and again does sound nice. And he's not entirely whipped. Just... a little less in control than he'd like xD Texas huh? Hope that goes well. I was born in Texas. Have fun!_

_Arcami – They basically sit back with popcorn and watch the show. The other jinchuuriki may or may not appear. I don't really know. _

_December – You know, you could just tell me where the mistake is... makes it easier to find... This chapter is longer. Not much action wise though._

_Lady – They just sit back and watch Kurama wreak destruction on Konoha. That's what happens xD Alas, no Minato, he was a tad busy. Itachi next chapter!_

_Iice – Thank you! :D I'm glad you like it!_

_Ariados – Not much action wise this chapter. But you get more fluff! ^^; And you're probably right about canon Kakuzu. Useless money would make the miser very angry._

_Nazebaka – Maybe when I can think of 100 different ways to kill somebody xD Not nearly as emotional as I thought it'd be. They can't risk too much emotion being a hunter and several nuke-nins in one place. And I think the next Omake you get will be Mangetsu. And I'm sorry school is evil :(_

_Yuuki – Yep. Sit back with popcorn and watch the destruction of the kyuubi. No confrontation, they're not bothering to interfere. So, if Tobito sense them there, he ignores them. They didn't exactly drop in either. Just sat there in a very obvious location and watched the show xD_

_Inseparable – Magic, that's how. In all honesty, I've no idea. No, they're not pre-written. I just sit down and write. Let the characters pull me along. That's why sometimes a chapter turns out vastly different than expected. Like this one._

_Coco – And now you have Toki pouncing xD Kakuzu has no alterior motives, Hidan just refuses to listen to the obvious answers given him. Hidan is still attempting to steal her, though his chances of success are zilch. Yay! Cook! -noms- Thank you!_

_Kasai – Thank you! And they do need a name. Now's your chance to name them! Itachi appears next chapter :3 And __**maybe**__. Not the smartest idea to have kids when going after Lollipops. Mei wants them back because they left for a good reason and not because of a real crime. Nope, no Snowy. Alas. And Zabuza appears when we hit Wave Arc. We're in canon. Just EARLY canon. And nope. Not annoyed :3_

_Sofie – Thanks! Here, have an update :)_

_Chibi – Yep. Kyuubi + a lot of time skipping. You were warned. And Lollipops are evil. Never trust them._

_Scarlet – Thanks! Here, have an update :D_

_Teri – I am well aware Toki can't control the kyuubi. She wasn't. They were just watching the attack occur basically. And alas no saving either of them. Toki can't change too much or what she knows becomes useless. Itachi comes in next chapter. Toki might acquire a Sharingan user._

_Ceres – A brief meeting between two misers. Neither sure what to make of the other. And it's very true. You should leave peaceful nuke-nins alone. As for uniforms, I don't know if any of these four would go for that xD_

_Draconis – Should I call you Argent? And thank you! ^^_

_Marina – Thank you very much. It means a lot to get a compliment like that. There's a lot of time skipping here, but you see Kisame finally snap and that last bridge between them is finally crossed. Thank you kindly for the applause ^^_

_Shino – Why would the pervy sage bother training Toki? And I don't think Kisame would be very happy about that situation._

_Shadow – Because they are rogues. Therefore it doesn't matter why, they're to be hunted. They just sit back with popcorn and watch. Can't change too much or what Toki knows becomes useless._


	24. Rendezvous With A Weasel

_I have no life. This is what happens when I have a three day weekend with no homework to do. Not sure if I should be ashamed or not :/_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Hidan (I have to wonder if I need to keep reminding you of the zealot being here)

_Beginning to think school ate my Beta. The fact I have no life and continue to write doesn't help matters._

* * *

"We'll need to keep a close eye on Konoha now. The Massacre could occur any day. And if Itachi slips by us, there's no finding him again until he pops back up after joining the Akatsuki" I informed the others.

"We fucking know already. No need to remind us every damn second" Hidan glared at me.

"You mentioned the Uchiha being very cunning. Our last attempt to acquire someone you claimed to have higher intelligence did not end so well" Kakuzu spoke, mentioning our rather spectacular failure in getting Sasori.

"That's the issue" I sighed "Itachi most likely won't join us unless he knows the truth. But it's been our policy not to tell the truth unless someone joins us".

"An impasse" the miser noted.

"Exactly".

"...We may have to risk it" Kisame decided after a moment "Because, let's face it. None of us are very good with genjutsu. Itachi is. Plus, there's the small matter of the Sharingan. Koneko's told us of many enemies we'll be facing that required that dōjutsu to be taken down".

"Then fucking tell him the damn story. He'd fucking hear it anyway if he joined helping with this shit" Hidan suggested.

"It may take a little more than words to convince Itachi. But, we don't have much of a choice" I nodded. "I'll handle it then. After that, Kisame, it'll be your turn to be convincing".

"Sure, Koneko. I'll be the most convincing Shark you've ever seen" he smirked at me.

"That's what scares me" I muttered.

* * *

**After the Massacre, Itachi POV**

Killing his family had been the hardest thing he had ever done.

But they had threatened a coupe on the Village he loved and served loyally.

So, there had been no choice.

Danzō had made sure of that.

He found himself glad he'd been able to spare his otouto.

Though, he'd been sure to make Sasuke despise him by putting him in that genjutsu.

Manipulating his brother like that had left a foul taste in his mouth.

But, hopefully, his plans would ease the sting.

His otouto would gain power and strength enough to kill him, and regain honor for their clan before rebuilding it better than before.

Yes, in the end, it would all be worth it.

He had gotten lost in his thoughts.

That was the only explanation he had for when he was intercepted so easily by a band of four rogue shinobi.

Two stepped forward, a shark-man and a kunoichi.

The other two hung back watching him.

He fell into a fighting stance, waiting on the strike.

He found himself mildly surprised when both the Shark and the kunoichi raised empty hands in a sign they did not wish for confrontation.

"Itachi Uchiha" the Shark spoke with a low chuckle "You have no idea how long we've been waiting on you".

* * *

**Normal POV**

There was a long silent pause as Itachi watched us, Sharingan spinning slowly.

Finally, he spoke "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what the sushi-fucker said!" Hidan piped up "We've been waiting a Jashin damned long time for you, Uchiha bastard!"

Kakuzu knocked Hidan's head with a hard hit. "Quiet".

"Please ignore them" I sighed "We know what you've just done Itachi, and why you did it".

"We also know that you're planning on going to eventually join with the organization called Akatsuki. We've come with a better offer".

"Hn" I took it this was the Weasel's way of saying he was listening.

"I know this is going to be a weird question. But, can you use the Mangekyo to look into someone's memories?"

Another long pause of silence.

"How did you know of the Mangekyo?" Itachi was staring at me now. I felt the distinct feeling of suspicion coming off of him.

"Answer the question, and you'll find out" I countered.

A considering pause before his next answer "...Yes. In a way".

"I don't care about the hows and whys. What you need to do is to use that ability on myself. You would not believe the story I have otherwise" I cautiously stepped forward.

"Koneko, you failed to mention you'd be letting yourself get attacked by the Sharingan" Kisame snarled.

"It's the only way he'll believe us, Kisame" I retorted. Kisame growled, but backed off, though he watched Itachi with feral menace. If the Uchiha did one thing wrong, the Shark would attack him in an instant.

"Believe what?" Itachi, to his credit, did not seem remotely disturbed.

Jashin damn, remind me never to play poker with this Uchiha.

"Look and see" I answered.

"...As you wish" Itachi's Sharingan morphed, becoming the Mangekyo which started to spin.

It went against every last shinobi instinct I had to meet those eyes and let him have the information he needed.

_Some time later_

"This..." Itachi actually seemed openly shocked.

"Could've warned me that I'd get a nasty headache from doing that" I grouched at him, rubbing my head.

Itachi now was included in the truth. The whole truth that I'd told Kisame so long ago, being reborn here included.

Only, the Weasel had seen the memories as proof.

He also knew about us not attempting to prevent the Massacre, but as my memories showed, there was very little four nuke-nins could do against that.

Plus, sad as it was, it was necessary to keep the story mostly on track so we could prevent other things later.

Kisame saw this as his cue. "You see now that your plan with both Akatsuki and your brother don't exactly go very well".

"Aa" this was most likely agreement, Itachi's expression serious as he thought over what I'd shown him about his otouto's future.

"I personally think it was a fucking dumb-ass plan" Hidan spoke "I mean, deliberately letting yourself fucking die?"

_Whack! _Kakuzu struck again. "Quiet" he snarled.

"We're offering you a place with us. To help bring down Akatsuki and the Lollipop bastard. In return, we offer to help change the story so that your otouto doesn't become one of the world's most hated nuke-nin" the Shark continued, unphased by the violence "You also know we're aware of both your illness and the fact you're going to slowly go blind from the Mangekyo. What if I told you that I had a way to fix both?"

Itachi's gaze was fixed on Kisame. Probably the closest the Uchiha got to open interest.

"You only get to know that should you join up with us. What do you say, Itachi-san? Want to help bring down some rat-bastards and help your otouto?" Kisame gave a sharp-toothed smirk "Or would you rather leave him to his fate?"

Another long pause of silence.

"I'll help" Itachi finally answered.

* * *

"Thank Jashin" I grinned "Now only one thing left to do. Tachi, Sharingan off. _**Now**_, mister. We have to preserve what eyesight you have until whatever Kisame's planning to do about it".

Itachi gave me a stare.

I stared back, daring to meet his gaze. "I can have a staring contest with you all day, Tachi. Sharigan off please".

A few more moments of a staring contest.

Then the red of the Sharingan faded into Itachi's normal black.

"Thank you".

"Aa" he replied.

"Hehehe. Tachi" Hidan snickered before finding a kunai thrown at him. It barely missed his face. "The fuck?! How come the bitch gets to fucking call you that bastard, yet when I fucking do it I get attacked?!"

"Cause he knows my calling him Tachi isn't an insult" I answered.

"What the fuck is it then?" the zealot scowled.

"He knows I know he can kill me really easily in numerous ways without having to move before I blinked. Since I recognize the fact he is far more epic than I am, I get to call him Tachi" I grinned "It levels the playing field a bit. Same reason Kakuzu lets me get away with calling him miser-san".

"That fucking why you call me zealot sometimes, bitch?" Hidan smirked.

"No. I call you zealot because you are one" I gave a flat stare. Then I turned my attention to the Shark. "You going to share in your grand master plan now?"

"I don't know. I feel a bit ignored at the moment" he drawled back.

"Oh hush, Kisame. You know I love you. You just the jealous-possessive type" I grinned at him.

This got a laugh. "That I am, Koneko. Alright, Itachi-san. First thing's first. We'll get you eyes to swap out with yours. And maybe even retrieve that mission scroll from the Massacre to prove your innocence while we're at it".

"I will not take Sasuke's eyes" Itachi stated simply.

"Who said anything about it being Sasuke's eyes we're getting?" Kisame smirked. "I know you've got one of Shisui's".

Itachi blinked, a gesture of surprise for the stoic Uchiha. He hadn't been expecting the Shark to bring up Shisui.

"And now you also know where the other one is. Besides, I can't imagine that Danzō bastard is very high on your list of people you like".

"Hn" this was a confirmation.

"He's not a rogue, but I think we can make an exception for him. Miser here can get that bounty on his head as an early present" Kisame's smirk turned feral.

"Danzō Shimura" Kakuzu mused, obviously interested "A high bounty indeed".

"Plus, according to Koneko, he's a bitch to fight. Plenty of violence for our local zealot" a glance at Hidan.

"That Danzō fucker you mentioned? Hell yeah! I'll sacrifice his ass to Jashin-sama!" Hidan's crazy smile appeared.

"This is your plan?!" I gaped at Kisame "Taking on Danzō of all people?! Are you suicidal?!"

"Koneko, we're five S-rank nuke-nin. I think we've got a chance of beating the bastard, even if he does take hax to defeat. You may have failed to notice, but we've acquired someone with the hax powers of the Sharingan" he just smirked at me.

"Let's pretend we win for a moment. We get Shisui's other eye, we get the mission scroll for Itachi to keep until he feels like letting people know the truth. What about the transplant and the illness? How are we solving that?" I stared at the Shark.

"We go gambling" his smirk got wider.

It took me a moment to realize what he meant. "You can't be serious" I stated, thinking the Shark had gone completely and utterly insane.

"You told us all of her legendary bad luck" Kisame chuckled "So, we go pay a visit to Tanzaku town. We have the miser here gamble with her, cause we know Kakuzu would never lose a bet. And the stakes will go up until we finally win an eye-transplant and illness healing from her".

"I can't believe your idea to get Itachi healed involves gambling with Tsunade" I grumbled. "You realize she's afraid of blood, right?"

"Then we'll be sure to cure that fear. Can't have Itachi-san going blind now can we?" he ruffled my hair. "But I'm leaving you in charge of getting that mission scroll for him".

"Alright, alright. I'm on it" I sighed.

* * *

"How the fuck is she going to get the damn scroll? The fucking Leaf is crawling with damn ANBU bastards right now thanks to the Uchiha here" Hidan gestured to Itachi, who ignored him.

"I won't actually be going in" I answered, biting my hand for the summoning jutsu.

A poof and two small house cats appeared. One was black with a white patch on its head, the other white with a black patch on its head. Yin-yang twins.

"Toki-chan summoned us! Toki-chan summoned us!" the black male jumped about excitedly.

"Calm yourself" the white female swatted him "That means she has a job for us to do".

Kasai and Mizu respectively. These two house-cats weren't fighters. They were thieves. They specialized in getting in and out of somewhere without people noticing them, robbing people blind in the process. Yama had introduced them to me some time ago. He'd also said 'if they cannot steal it, it cannot be stolen'.

I was counting on these two to fetch the scroll for Itachi before we had to bother with Danzō.

"I do have a job for you. Somewhere in Konoha, most likely in the hidden base of Root ANBU, there's a mission scroll involving Itachi Uchiha and the Uchiha Massacre. Find it and bring it back here" I ordered.

"Hai, Toki-chan!" Kasai saluted me with a paw.

"Of course, Toki-sama" Mizu ducked her head politely. Then both cats were off, vanishing into the woods.

"Now we wait" I shrugged.

"And you call the damn Sharingan fucking cheating" Hidan stated.

"Hey, my cats are not nearly to the hax level of the Sharingan. Tachi knows he'd kick my sorry ass in a fight, don't you Tachi?"

"Aa" I could've sworn I saw the smallest smile on the Uchiha's face "Though, you appear quite skilled, Toki-san".

"Just Toki" I corrected.

"What's the plan?" this time it was Kakuzu who spoke, directing the question towards the Shark.

"We wait for Konoha to settle back down. Then, we watch Danzō closely. We'll see if we can't lure him into the open and to at least somewhere where it'll take a moment for ANBU to rain down on us. Hopefully then, we'll be able to bring him down and collect him for his bounty before we have the entire Leaf Village on our assess" Kisame answered.

"Not much of a fucking plan" Hidan pointed out.

"Tachi, I do believe we'll be needing your brains. We also really lack a lot of planning abilities, as you may have noticed".

"Hn" a noise of agreement I suspected "Very well. I will try".

"Tachi. If there's one thing I know about Uchihas it's that they don't try. They simply do, even if they break all the laws of reality to do so" I laughed. "Sasuke's fight with the terrorist bomber for example".

"Aa" a nod. Then a pause "I... am not sure how my otouto managed to do that either".

The haxing power of the Uchiha didn't make sense to even one of the Uchihas themselves.

I couldn't help laughing at this revelation.

* * *

"You know, this merry band of misfits needs a name" Kisame mused as we settled in for the night, waiting on my cats to return.

We were well enough away from Konoha that the chances of having issues with ANBU were slim, though we'd still take a watch in shifts.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We need a name. To introduce ourselves as. We're going up against a named organization after all. We should be more than the bunch of rogues who happen to be fighting together" the Shark insisted.

"What-the-fuck-ever. I don't give a shit" Hidan shrugged.

"I don't really care" Kakuzu seconded.

"Hn" the Weasel was noncommental.

"Come on. Some enthusiasm would be appreciated" Kisame sulked.

"Well Akatsuki is the dawn. Why not just the opposite?" I suggested.

A silent pause.

"Yūgure" surprisingly this was Itachi who spoke, smooth monotone breaking the quiet. "Dusk for the dawn. The end of the world they wish to create".

"That has got to be the most words you've ever said" Kisame blinked at him, having heard my stories of the stoic Uchiha.

"Hn" came the reply.

"And back to monosyllabic Weasel it is" the Shark chuckled "But I like it".

"No fucking complaints here" Hidan couldn't possibly care less.

"Suits me" Kakuzu gave a neutral shrug.

"I'm in" I agreed with a smile "Yūgure it is".

An open challenge to the Lollipop's plans.

What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

**Omake – Introductions, Normal POV**

"It's about time you learned how to summon others besides myself. I'm getting tired of being the only one having to deal with you on a regular basis" Yama gave me a flat feline stare.

"I knew you liked me" I grinned at the panther, who scoffed.

"Try the summoning jutsu again" he said sourly.

I obeyed. There was a poof of smoke and a pair of house-cats that had a yin-yang look to them appeared.

"Introduce yourselves to our Contractor" Yama ordered with a hiss.

"Poor contractor-chan! Having to deal with old grumpy Yama!" the black male cat gave me a pitying look. Then he brightened with a feline smile "I am Kasai!"

_Smack! _The white female swatted him. "Be more respectful to contractor-sama and Yama-sama" she scolded with a hiss. Then she ducked her head to me politely "I am Mizu".

"What do you two do?" I asked, unsure of how two deal with these two vastly different cats.

"We are infiltration experts" Mizu answered "The best at going unnoticed. Spies".

"We're thieves!" Kasai mewed cheerfully "We can rob someone blind before they blink!"

"Spies and thieves?" I knew spying would come in handy. Wasn't so sure about the theft.

"Indeed" Yama spoke with a nod "If they cannot steal it, it cannot be stolen".

"Er... I'm Toki" I responded.

Well, signing this Contract certainly got me interesting results.

* * *

_+1 Weasel. Got the basic idea of the Mangekyo being able to let Itachi see someone's memories from Darkpetal's Sakura. Hell, it showed Sasuke Itachi's memories so why the hell can't it do the reverse?_

_So, I got a lot of suggestions for naming the group Twilight/Dusk to be the opposite of Akatsuki's dawn. As I speak exceedingly little Japanese, I used Google translate and got Yūgure xD_

_Also, another call for aid, as I don't think I'm doing our favorite Weasel justice. Need suggestions on how to better his character._

_**Next time –**__ "__You know, Danzō, it's usually not a good idea to piss off an Uchiha"._

_"Seeing as how we're deliberately also attempting to piss off an Uchiha that statement is slightly hypocritical"._

_"Fair point"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Ariados – Toki is already a powerful kunoichi. She's able to hold her own and not be seen as a burden by four other S-class nuke-nin. I think giving her Jashinist abilities will be a little too much. A bit Mary Sue side. And as my goal is to keep her well away from that horrible fate, I don't think I'll give her the immortality. But, thank you for the suggestion :)_

_Eternal – Yep, say farewell xD And Hidan is a very slow learner. After all, he hasn't learned to stop angering Kakuzu who kills him constantly. And it really is a miracle the Shark lasted that long. Alas, I don't think I'm doing the Weasel justice. Which makes me sad, I adore the Weasel :( Here, have an update!_

_Arcami – Took the twilight/dusk suggestion and Google translate mated yours :3I liked the open challenge of the opposite names_

_Kasai – I think my portrayal of Itachi needs some serious work though :/ I laughed at the suggestion, but I went with a more serious name. Plus, the open challenge in it was too much to resist. Deidara doesn't pop in for quite some time. He's not even close to born yet, let alone becoming an S-class nuke-nin._

_Marina – I tried ^^; I didn't want to overdo that scene. And I'm glad you likes Ao coming in. After all, he's an expert hunter-nin of course he could find them easily. And I'll certainly try to keep it up :)_

_Shanny – Glad you liked it :3 And Jashin no! Toki isn't pregnant. __**If **__the two have children it won't be until after they have throughly beaten down evil Lollipops. Itachi and Toki aren't friends__as of yet, but neither has a reason to dislike the other._

_Deathless – It was already mentioned they thought Nagato crazy and would most likely be unable to convince him that Lollipops are not to be trusted. They won't be going after him._

_Ie-maru – Yep, pity the miser. Though he should have fun gambling against Tsunade. And I did take the twilight/dusk suggestion, and just went with what Goggle translate gave me xD_

_Pierce – I have no life ._. Though, I am glad so many people like my story as well. And here, have a wicked fast update xD_

_Coco – Hehe xD Yep, sexual tension solved. And I did the best I could wwith the time skip. There was nothing really going to happen in those years, so I was originally going to just skip them entirely. Then I was all 'nah, put something there' and thus you got that scene. Our anti-Akatsuki are stuck together until Lollipops are brought down. After that, who knows._

_White – That only happened cause for a lot of the time, the other duo were there. And then there was the unsureness about it for awhile after the split. And yep, when I wrote that I was going 'This is a very blunt Shark. He doesn't do flowery romance' and so you got that. They point out his plan with the Akatsuki doesn't end very well, so we equip +1 Weasel._

_Yuuki – Yep,finally ne? :) And not really, to prevent the Massacre, a lot of stuff would've had to happen that was beyond the influence of four nuke-nins. And he saw that it truly was needed for the plot to happen so they could prevent other things. Went with the Twlight/Dusk and just Google translated it :3 And hey, they've got a name. I guess becoming a legit organization is the next step._

_Night – Glad you liked it ^^ And I might put that in an Omake, since that'd be hilarious to see! But, as you said, alone time in this group is going to be very hard to come by. Toki is a strange one. Fangirling over Kisame and Kakuzu, but not so much over Hidan and Itachi. Hidan because there's not really something Toki wanted to touch/see. Itachi because Toki is well aware the Uchiha doesn't do touch. She might ask later to fangirl over him once he's used to her though xD_

_Lady (x2)__ – __Hidan having Kurama as a pet would be absolute havoc. And it really was the last bridge to cross between them, outside of legal marriage. But neither really hold much stake in that, and should something like that occur, it wouldn't be until much later after Lollipops are soundly beaten. And yes, they bribe him with helping Sasuke plus a way to return to Konoha eventually. Thanks for the suggestions! Both of them. I liked the open challenge in calling themselves Twilight/Dusk more xD_

_Guest – Thank you :3_

_Nazebaka – You're supposed to cope by helping me make sure I portray Itachi correctly :P I adore our complex Weasel and want to do him justuce_

_Kakashi – Nope. Sasuke and Itachi are five years apart, so Itachi was __**at least **__five. I decided to guess Sasuke was about one when the kyuubi attacked, therefore making Itachi six. My guessing ages probably alters a few things, but hopefully it's close enough ^^; Nope, no pregnant Toki. Not until Lollipops are brought down. Hope I did the Weasel justice._

_Inseparable – It was, but there was no real way of avoiding that -.-; But glad you liked the ending!_

_Sofie – Thank you! Here's a wicked fast update for you :3_

_We – I know. Finally. And I'm glad you liked it! ^^_

_Kenegi – I went with dusk as I got a lot of suggestions for it ^^ Google translate for the win!_

_Cara – Yeah, going with dusk since I like the open challenge in the name xD _

_Rose – Toki... is grown up... At the end of this chapter she's 22 or 23._

_Ajisai – Good, it was meant to be seen :3 And nope, Koneko is loyal to her Shark. Hisss! Twilight referance! Even if the new name dies mean twlight/dusk so it's not much better... Deidara doesn't show up for some time. And you'll being seeing our band of misfits messing around with canon, therefore the Konoha 12 make an appearance :3 And I agree, it was._

_Bloody – No promises. Deidara saying 'no' is very possible. Sasori said 'no' after all._

_Wickedly – Thank you ^^ And I'm glad you liked the scene, I was trying not to over-do it._

_This – Here, have a wickedly fast update._

_Kitkat – Hidan is not a patient person. And no joining for Ao, but at least they both walked away without fighting. Actually, as I'm going with his canon age where he appears being unadjusted, Hidan's younger than Toki. He's shamelessly hitting on an older woman xD And here's the Shark's brilliant plan: Take down Danzō for Shisui's other eye then gamble for healing/eye-transplant with Tsunade._

_Chibi-no-baka – Yep, lots of progress ^^_

_Kyprioth – Akira-san is so having a fangirl moment in the afterlife. And the muses need to take pity on me, it must be unhealthy to write this much ._._

_Shadow – Sadly, as Deidara was only sixteen in Shippuden he doesn't appear for quite some time. You'll be seeing other characters though. And nope, Itachi knows all now. Thus, why he agreed to join since he saw how badly his plan ended up the first time._


	25. Danzō

_No homework and no life :3_

_As always, thank you for your kind attention._

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Violence, Hidan

_School ate my Beta_

* * *

"Toki-chan! Toki-chan! We've got the scroll thingy!" Kasai bounded up, followed closely by Mizu. The white cat had a scroll in her mouth.

I took it, checked it for traps, and then checked the scroll itself. Sure enough, this was the mission scroll I'd sent them after. "Good work you two" I patted them both on their heads.

"Our pleasure, Toki-sama" Mizu dipped her head.

"Call us again sometime Toki-chan!" Kasai added before they poofed away.

"Here Tachi, a present for joining this insanity" I tossed him the mission scroll.

The Uchiha, like myself, checked its authenticity. Then he put it away where it would be safe. "...Thank you".

Huh, those were not two words I'd expect from Itachi, but he'd been raised a gentleman.

"With that, you're basically free to return to Konoha at any time after we get rid of Danzō. Though, I hope you'll be sticking around to help us muck us the plot-line" I grinned.

"I will consider it" probably the best I was getting out of him right now.

"Fair enough" I nodded.

"Well, that's half accomplished" Kisame grinned "Now it's just the waiting game for our target to come out to play".

"I fucking hate all this damn waiting" Hidan whined.

"You need to stop being so hasty" Kakuzu glared at him. "If you cost me my bounty, I will end you".

"Like you haven't fucking killed me how many Jashin damned times already?" the immortal countered.

* * *

And so we waited.

It took a few weeks for Konoha to settle down after the Massacre. And even then, we still had to wait on our target to give us an opportunity to draw him out.

"We'll have to be careful. Targeting Danzō risks running into Lollipops. And we're nowhere near able to take him down" I sighed as Kisame and I watched the Leaf..

"Easy, Koneko. That's why we're luring Danzō into the open. Lollipop bastard can't interfere with people possibly able to see. It'd spring his trap too early. After all, right now, 'Tobi is a good boy', yes?" the Shark snickered as he recited Lollipop's signature phrase from when he was playing an idiot.

"That's true" I admitted. "Plus, the Lollipop should be busy having to find other S-rank nuke-nins to fill the Akatsuki. Of the original members, he's only got Sasori right now. Deidara should become available soon. We'll have to attempt snagging the terrorist before he does. No genjutsu involved this time".

"Breaking up the Artist duo, hm? Can't wait to see how that goes" my companion grinned at me before giving me a light kiss.

"We've got to try" I responded as Kisame's attention returned to Konoha. "Deidara is a deadly opponent with his explosives"

"Well, we've got someone else to worry about now, Koneko" Kisame nodded toward the Leaf. "Because I think I see our chance". His hands flew through rapid seals, creating a water shark that raced back to the others. It would burst harmlessly, but it was the signal that we needed to move in. Then the Shark was off, racing for Konoha

"I still can't believe we're doing this" I murmured, chasing after him.

Kisame laughed. "Well get used to the insanity Koneko. Cause we're about to rip that plot of yours into shreds".

* * *

**Konoha, Danzō POV**

He'd just recently got done dealing with Madara.

The formidable Uchiha was angry, very angry. Demanding to know what had happened to Itachi.

He'd been honest in saying he hadn't known what Itachi had done after leaving Konoha.

Madara had mildly relaxed. "Probably off to try to gain some notoriety to ensure his acceptance into the Akatsuki" the Uchiha had mused, then nodded at this explanation.

Danzō's life had been spared.

"Keep an eye on Konoha for me" veiled threat in the words for the Uchiha was gone, off to who knows where.

He didn't like dealing with the old shinobi, but Danzō knew that this was in the Leaf's best interest.

Madara's plans would benefit them all in the long run.

Now all he had to focus on was finding out what had happened to the Massacre's mission scroll. That could not get to Itachi to allow the Uchiha to uproot his plans by revealing his involvement with the tragedy.

A flicker of moment.

Danzō blinked, almost swearing he'd just seen Itachi, the Uchiha who was causing him so much trouble.

Caution warred with the need to see if his mind was playing tricks on him.

The Sharingan he had both as his right eye and in his arms should've alerted him to any deception.

But that hadn't.

So the War Hawk moved, keeping the appearance of a feeble old man as he followed the flickering movement.

It drew him to a relatively open area. There was no one here.

Danzō frowned.

Then suddenly there was movement, catching him off his guard as he was surrounded by not one, not two, but five S-class nuke-nins.

One of them being Itachi himself, Mangekyo spinning dangerously.

A genjutsu then. Created by the Sharingan and thus avoiding detection by his Sharingan.

He'd been tricked.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Kisame gave a low chuckle as he held Samehada on his shoulder. "You know Danzō, it's usually not a good idea to piss off an Uchiha".

"Seeing as how we're deliberately also attempting to piss off an Uchiha that statement is slightly hypocritical" I pointed out. After all, we were deliberately screwing over the Lollipop's plans.

"Fair point" the Shark mused.

"You would fight with a crippled old man? My, how far you have fallen. Especially you, Itachi Uchiha" Danzō's grip tightened on his cane somewhat. The only sign he was prepared to defend himself.

"Shut it, fucker" Hidan scoffed, leaning on his scythe "We know damned well you aren't nearly as fucking crippled as you look, bastard".

"We are all aware of the eyes you possess" Itachi continued as he eased into a fighting stance.

"I will enjoy collecting your bounty" Kakuzu's threads appeared, whipping about in a dangerous way.

Danzō's visible non-Sharingan eye narrowed. I felt surprise and anger coming off of him. "Very well" he reached for his sealed arm.

"Rai Ken" I threw electrified senbon forcing him to doge. "Don't let him unseal that arm! Otherwise we're going to have even more trouble" I informed the others, more electrified senbon in my hands. "Do your best to rip or cut it off!"

"Knew I fucking liked you, bitch" Hidan smirked and lunged, forcing Danzō into further dodging.

"On it, Koneko" Kisame smirked at me before he joined the fray, Samehada ready to both devour Danzō's chakra and slice his arm off.

_Clunk. _Danzō had unsealed the first part of his arm.

Kakuzu joined in next, threads attempting to ensnare Danzō at the man's slightest misstep. Itachi hadn't moved, though from the way Danzō was having issues dodging everything, I suspected he was working a complex genjutsu.

_Clunk. _There went another section of the seal.

I switched over to the kusarigama, joining Kakuzu's efforts in attempting to catch the fast shinobi.

Danzō formed hand seals. "Fūton: Shinkūgyoku". The non-immortals were forced to dodge, Kisame and I jumping, Itachi dispersing into a flock of crows, the Vacuum Sphere blasts as deadly as bullets.

_Clunk._ The last part of the arms seal was gone.

We were up against Danzō at his full strength.

FML.

"Ow! Fucker! That hurts damn it!" Hidan of course hadn't bothered dodging but was now bleeding from several wounds.

"Learn to dodge" Kakuzu growled at him. The miser had simply hardened his skin, making the blasts useless against him.

Danzō bit his hand for a summoning jutsu.

Poof!

And now we were up against him and his summon Baku.

Things just kept getting better and better.

"Koneko, you and Itachi-san handle the summon. The rest of us will keep focused on Danzō" Kisame ordered, hands forming a seal "Suiton: Bakusui Shōha". The shark then rode the colliding wave, rushing Danzō with a swing of Samehada.

A lump formed under Kakuzu's skin as he released one of his hearts. It formed into the black-thread-mask-beast I recognized as the fire heart. Which instantly launched its signature fire ninjutsu at Danzō.

Hidan, of course, launched his scythe at Danzō, using the chord to guide it and hopefully draw blood.

Danzō was unable to dodge all of these. But the damn man had Sharingan hax. He activated his Izanagi as the attacks collided with him. Though even as he reappeared elsewhere, he was panting. Seems Samehada had successfully taken a bite of out his chakra.

I refocused on the summon problem Itachi and I had been tasked with. "Tachi, you think you can catch in your Sharingan and hold it for a moment? I'm going to try to match a summon for a summon" I asked using the kusarigama to keep Baku away.

"Yes" the merest flicker of movement and Itachi flicked in front of the rampaging summon. Catching its eyes. Baku went still, staring blankly at the Uchiha.

So much hax.

It was completely unfair.

I bit my hand for my own summoning jutsu and Yama appeared. He took one look at Baku and sighed. "Seems the assassin cat finally gets real work" he gruffed, drawing his katana.

"Yep. Have fun" I grinned.

Yama launched at the Sharinganed Baku, Itachi turning into a flock of crows to evade the panther's attack easily. Baku came to his senses... right as Yama dug his blade into Baku's eyes.

"Ouch" I winced.

"Your summon is vicious" Itachi commented.

"Don't let him hear you say that, he'll take that as a compliment".

We could leave Yama to handle Baku, so Itachi and I went to help the others against Danzō.

"Fūton: Shinkūha" Danzō went into a spin creating razor winds waves around him, forcing dodging again.

"That all you can do fucking bastard? Keep us away? Fucking shitty coward" Hidan mocked as he attacked again.

Kisame lunged from the opposite side, making it look like the sword-scythe version of a Double Lariat.

Danzō got stuck.

And used Izanagi again. I knew he could only do this a limited number of times before he ran out of eyes on his arms.

"Tachi" I spoke lowly. "Genjutsu. Make him thing he has more eyes on that arm than he really does".That was part of how Sasuke had taken him down in canon. Itachi should be able to do the same thing.

Itachi nodded, drawing a kunai and flickering forward to lash out at Danzō. He knew perfectly well the old man wouldn't be caught by the strike.

Danzō dodged and countered, drawing a kunai himself "Fūton: Shinkūjin" he breathed onto the kunai making it into a longer sharper razor wind sword. Then he lashed out at Itachi who promptly turned into crows.

"Eye contact" Itachi stated softly, reforming next to me as he once again began working more genjutsu, making Danzō's dodging and attacks far less accurate than they should be.

Note to self: Do not anger Itachi. Ever.

I nodded, forming hand seals of my own. I'd dropped the Rai Ken, needing to preserve what senbon I still had on me. "Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu" the electric cat sprang to life, chasing Danzō towards Kakuzu's strings. The miser caught him and his fire heart attacked right as my lightning cat made impact.

Another Izanagi.

I groaned.

How many times did we have to kill this guy?

Wait... there was one thing he wouldn't be able to avoid even with Izanagi. "Hidan!" I smirked "Time to sacrifice the heathen!"

"Sounds fucking good to me, bitch" he smirked back. "You or me?" He was still under the impression I was a full Jashinist. As my threats usually consisted of sacrificing someone to Jashin, this hadn't corrected the assumption.

"You're better at it" I replied simply.

"Taking that as a fucking compliment" his smirk grew wider. There was enough blood already on the ground he didn't need any more as he started to draw the Jashinist symbol.

There was a resounding thud from behind us. Yama had brought down Baku, retrieving his blade from where it's been buried into the tapir summon's skull.

I made a face. Vicious assassin panther. He nodded at me, and job done, poofed away.

"Make it fast this time" Kakuzu growled at Hidan as the zealot completed the symbol "This one is annoying". His threads chased Danzō into one of Kisame's water-shark-bombs I'd electrified.

Yet another Jashin damned Izanagi.

That man really needed some more variety.

"Fūton: Shinkūha" Danzō used the same jutsu again, creating the razor winds around him that launched at us.

This time winds were too fast, only Itachi and his hax powers were able to escape unscathed.

I did not have that much luck.

Jashin damn it! That hurt!

I had nasty cuts what seemed like everywhere.

"Koneko! Get out of there!" I heard Kisame call.

Too late. Danzō came launching at me with his wind blade.

I couldn't dodge.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

She went down.

"Toki!"

The heartbreak in his voice was clear.

A feral rage took him.

Samehada bristled, wicked scales sticking straight up in the sword's own expression of fury.

Danzō would _**pay**_.

And pay _**dearly**_.

He found Samehada agreeing with him, the sword mixing their chakras without his orders.

It wished to merge with him.

Very well.

First things first. "Suiton: Dai Bakusui Shōha". The larger version of the colliding wave.

The sheer mass of water was inescapable even with the bastard's Izanagi.

The water then formed into a sphere as he made hand signs

Suirō Sameodori no Jutsu. The Water Prison Shark Dance Technique. Where he could control the prison from the inside.

Now, he willingly merged his chakra with Samehada's.

He felt his body morph, the rapid expanse of his already enormous chakra almost painful.

Now he was a true beast.

The Izanagi couldn't save Danzō now.

* * *

He lunged, forcing Danzō to use the Izanagi again and again in order to not be ripped to shreds.

Finally the bastard was caught. The expression of surprise on Danzō's face made him smirk, showing his lethal teeth.

Itachi's genjutsu about the eye number had done the trick.

Then he dug claws and fangs into the bastard for maximum pain and injury, and he felt Kakuzu's threads moving to further ensnare Danzō.

Itachi moved, locking eyes with Danzō. The Uchiha spoke a single word. "Tsukuyomi".

The bastard wasn't going anywhere.

He dropped the prison, forcing the water away from his other companions.

Only one way to be sure the bastard went down and stayed that way and preserve Shisui's eye.

"_**Now**_ Hidan" he snarled.

The crimson scythe flew into view, gashing Danzō's face. Then the zealot yanked it back to him.

Hidan licked the scythe with pure menace in every movement.

The zealot took on his skeletal appearance and plunged the stake in his hand into his heart.

Danzō went stiff.

Hidan yanked the stake out.

The bastard trapped beneath him was dead.

He released his bond with Samehada becoming two separate entities once more.

"Get the eye, Itachi. After that, he's yours, Kakuzu" he heard himself say as he took Samehada and went over to where she still lay.

Toki...

Please no...

Not after all of this...

Not now...

He knelt, feeling her pulse.

And blinked.

Alive!

But barely.

And fading fast.

Panic struck, eyes darting for a solution.

Samehada.

His sword was capable of chakra transfer.

It healed wounds.

He'd never attempted to use it on someone besides himself.

Samehada didn't like others.

"Listen damn you"" he snarled at the sentient sword "Heal her or I swear I will break you into to so many pieces you will never be able to be repaired".

The sword didn't even bristle at him as he maneuvered it to touch his Koneko.

If Samehada attacked her, violence would follow.

There was the distinct glow of chakra as the great blade obeyed his will.

Slowly, Koneko's wounds started to mend.

He watched her with a clearly worried expression.

She stirred, eye opening to blink at him in bleary confusion.

"Toki" he gathered her in his free hand, holding her tightly to him as Samehada continued its healing work "Thank Kami".

"Kisame?" a weak, confused question.

"Shh. Just rest, Koneko".

"...M'kay" she was too tired to argue.

* * *

**That Night, 3****rd ****Person POV**

The Shark-man refused to allow anyone near the kunoichi in his hold. If any one of the others came to close they got a vicious feral snarl.

Even the blade beside him would bristle in warning, scales clinking dangerously under the bandages.

The other three males decided it was best to keep their distance.

The Shark was dangerous on a normal day.

But right now...

If they touched her...

Strength, skill, and even immortality would not matter.

He would find a way to kill them.

And he would do so slowly and painfully.

* * *

**Omake – Information, Itachi POV**

It had been... difficult to come to terms with the information he'd gotten from the kunoichi.

Her memories...

They were impossible.

But they were the truth.

At first he had been angry. Considering killing her while she was trapped within his control.

But...

Reason had stopped him.

It was not her fault that his clan had decided to attempt a coupe.

It was not her fault he had decided to follow orders.

It was not her fault that he'd put Sasuke in that genjutsu.

He saw very clearly after looking more into her memories that only drastic change far beyond her capabilities could've prevented the Massacre of his family.

And this group of hers...

They were offering him a chance to save his otouto from a horrible fate.

A path Itachi himself had accidentally put Sasuke on.

He would correct this error.

He would fight by their sides until they'd brought down Obito, the one she called Lollipop.

Plus...

He found himself warming to the others more quickly than he normally would.

Seeing her memories had made it feel like he too had been part of this strange group for a very long time.

It would be curious to see if he and Kisame would make quite as deadly a combination as they had before.

After all...

The Shark had a much different partner right now.

* * *

_And this is what happens when you invoke Murphy's law Toki. You almost get yourself killed._

**_Next time_**_- "Let's see how good our miser is at gambling"._

_You all know I usually reply to reviews. And I did. __**Three times**__. -angry twitch- And this entire chapter got erased each time. -angry twitch- So, I have thrown in the towel this round. No replies this chapter. I sincerely apologize. Please forgive me ;~; Know that all of the reviews were read and loved. -apologetic bow-  
_


	26. Gambling Investment

_A much needed filler chapter after the fight last time._

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_I think I'm back to no Beta :/_

* * *

**Konoha, Hiruzen POV**

He had thought he'd known a lot of things. Considered himself wise

It was very hard to surprise him.

He was the Sandaime Hokage after all. A man known for peace and intelligence.

But having five S-class nuke-nin slip into Konoha, murder Danzō, and get out all before ANBU had gotten there had caught him off his guard.

ANBU had chased after them, but they had vanished.

They only knew that Itachi Uchiha had been present, his chakra signature recognized by a sensor.

There were already rumors of a dangerous group called Akatsuki. But this... had not been them.

This new group, he didn't know.

But he intended to find them out.

Especially because of the ROOT chaos that had erupted not long after ANBU had started chasing after them.

It was a scandal of major proportion.

Danzō had been forming this... this twisted thing. Right under his nose.

T&I operatives were still going through questioning the ROOT ANBU members.

Hiruzen's instincts told him the group which had killed Danzō knew.

It was totally preposterous that they'd known about this.

But he knew to trust his instincts.

He would call most of the ANBU off their tail. Konoha owed this unknown group.

The rest of the ANBU would simply be tasked with finding out what this group of nuke-nins called themselves, what their goal was. And keeping up appearances since the scandal needed to be kept secret.

Hiruzen hoped the ANBU at least succeeded in the first part.

He needed to know who to thank.

* * *

**Kiri, Ao POV**

"Yūgure" he informed the Mizukage as she took in the news from Konoha.

Ao was skilled in getting information.

He had everything.

Even the knowledge of the ROOT scandal Danzō's death had brought to light.

"What is that?" Mei asked.

"What they're calling themselves now. Yūgure, Mizukage-sama".

"Hmm. That must have something to do with these rumors of the Akatsuki".

"That was my thought as well". The names were too related for it not to.

"How could they have known Ao? They broke their nuke-nin only rule for the War Hawk of the Leaf. They must have known what he was doing. That's the only explanation. After all, he's the only exception they've made" Mei tapped a finger on her desk.

"I do not know, Mizukage-sama. And it's too dangerous to approach them again to ask. It was risky enough getting their new name" he answered.

"Your three students are all risk takers, Ao. I would've thought you to teach them to be more cautious" Mei sighed "Two nuke-nins forming an organization. Then one here throwing himself recklessly into dangerous missions. They'll get themselves killed".

"At least I didn't teach them to gamble, Mizukage-sama" he reassured. "Especially since Sudachi has horrid luck".

* * *

**Kisame POV**

He had outright refused to allow Koneko to travel.

Yes, he agreed that now that Itachi had both Shisui's eyes they needed to get to Tanzaku.

So, despite her hissing at him for doing so, he was carrying her bridal-style.

He couldn't help his chuckle at the slight sulking pout she was still in at having to be carried.

Yes, she was a nuke-nin.

Yes, she was S-rank.

But she remained his Koneko.

And she'd been hurt badly.

Samehada's chakra transfer seemed to have healed her.

Still... it was best not to put the strain of travel on her just yet.

He'd be satisfied after they got to Tanzaku.

Maybe throw in a check up in the gambling with Tsunade.

Make sure his Koneko was okay.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Kisame only set me down once we'd reached our destination.

I gave him a half-hearted glare. I didn't like being carried, he knew that.

It made me feel useless.

And hell no was I going to be PTS Sakura useless.

"You realize that's you pouting only makes me want to cheer you up?" Kisame asked.

I gave him a mock scowl.

"Alright. You asked for it" the Shark leaned in and kissed me deeply.

I sensed that he'd been scared... no terrified would be a better word.

This kiss was his way of expressing how he'd felt without saying the words.

I returned it, ignoring the others' reactions. They really should be used to this by now.

"Better?" he pulled back with a smirk.

"Maybe" I grinned.

"Maybe, hm? Might have to fix that" the smirk grew wider.

"Yo! Fucking lovebirds! Enough already! Jashin damned motherfuckers making me nauseous" Hidan complained. "Sushi, we got to this shitty town where the healer's supposed to fucking be. What now, bastard?"

Kisame glared, but knew that any retort just encouraged the immortal to continue. He took a moment to sigh. "Time to search the place until we find her. We know she's here, gambling somewhere. Someone with her luck should not be hard to find. But be discrete. No need to attract attention by asking too direct questions".

"As if your fucking PDA doesn't attract enough damn attention" Hidan grumbled.

The Shark gave a sharp-toothed smirk. "You're just jealous cause she's mine".

"With a fucking piece of Sushi. Bitch, I do not understand your damn taste in men" the immortal muttered.

"Let's just split this town up into fifths" I suggested, attempting to change the subject. I drew a crude map of the town with dividing lines. "Miser-san here. Tachi here. Kisame here. Hidan here. And myself here" I pointed at the areas.

"Yes ma'am" Kisame chuckled.

"Fine, bitch. Whatever" Hidan sulked.

"Very well" Itachi nodded.

Kakuzu held out a hand. I sighed and produced ryo. He took it. "I'm off then" and the miser left to search his assigned area.

_Some searching later_

"Found her" Itachi informed, nodding to a casino.

"Fucking finally" Hidan gave an annoyed sigh. "Bitch was damn hard to locate".

"Now comes the fun part" Kisame grinned widely. "Let's see how good our miser is at gambling".

Kakuzu had a dark sulking look. I distinctly felt irritation coming off him, but having already been bribed to do this, plus given some extra ryo to gamble with, he made his way inside.

"This I have to fucking see. It might just kill the damn old man to go fucking gamble" Hidan snickered, cheering up at the prospect of Kakuzu's misery before heading inside as well.

"Tachi... be ready to genjutsu this whole place if things get crazy. I don't trust the zealot" I shook my head.

"Drastic" Itachi answered, glancing at me.

"Have you not seen the chaos they cause?" I countered.

"... Fair point" the Uchiha admitted.

"Come on, this is going to be fun" Kisame tugged us both into the casino.

* * *

**Kakuzu POV**

It went against every fiber of his being to go _gambling_.

The word may as well have been a cardinal sin to him.

Asking him to gamble was like asking Hidan to pray to Kami.

His only comfort was that it was not his money he was risking.

But it was still _money._

Still. He did know how these games were played.

He could read body language and tells like a book.

Of the entire group, he truly was the best choice to do this.

Even before Yūgure he'd heard rumors of the healer's legendary bad luck

This did not bring him much comfort however as he made his way to the table where the blond was drinking and gambling.

He almost let out an amused huff.

She really was losing terribly.

He felt his irritation settle somewhat.

Perhaps he should not look at this as gambling...

Yes that was the trick.

His irritation vanished, replaced by his unmatchable business sense.

No, this was no gamble.

This... was an investment.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Wanna take bets on how long it lasts?" Kisame offered as the rest of us seated ourselves at a non-gambling table a good distance away. Our hitai-ate were removed, since we didn't want recognition as rogues.

"I say five to ten fucking minutes. The damn old man will wipe the floor with the healer bitch and have her begging to heal the Uchiha bastard's shitty eyes" Hidan put a small amount of ryo on the table.

"I say eleven to fifteen then. Kakuzu will enjoy raking her cash off of her too much to be so quick about it" Kisame produced a matching amount.

"I'm not betting" I shook my head, shamelessly leaning against Kisame who in turn had arm around my shoulders.

"I will refrain as well" Itachi just shifted back into his seat to wait on our miser to finish with Tsunade.

_A few moments later_

"I think miser-san managed to drive off everyone else" I blinked. The table now just consisted of himself and Tsunade.

"He probably scared the shit out of any other bastard that attempted to take his damn prey. He did that when were were fucking hunting pussy rogues too if some other shit was targeting our target" Hidan informed.

"Somehow I would not be surprised" Kisame mused.

* * *

**Kakuzu POV**

Hidan was correct in that he'd been scaring off the competition to gamble with the blond healer.

He'd also been every ounce of his shinobi skill to use his threads to rob the other competitors when he got the chance.

The amount of ryo he'd had to gamble with had steadily increased.

The drunken blond was scowling at him now.

"I'm feeling lucky this time" her scowl morphed into a smirk.

"Tsunade-sama please! You've lost enough already!" a girl protested from beside her.

"Quiet Shizune" Tsunade ordered.

"You have lost much" he pointed out dryly. "What more could you have to offer?"

"This" she pulled the necklace from around her neck.

He recognized that jewel. It had been worn by the first Hokage.

His assassination target that he'd failed to kill, causing his troubles with his former Village.

Toki had informed him she might bet this.

"Actually, I have something else I wish from you. How about a different bet?" he countered.

If she was willing to bet that priceless jewel, now was the time to strike.

"I have an... acquaintance that is in need of healing. He has a severe illness and is also in need of an eye transplant. We have the eyes needed, but no healer to do either. I know of your skill _Tsunade-hime_" he gave her a calm stare, knowing his eyes were often found intimidating. "You lose this round, you can keep your jewel. I want healing. Immediate healing, since his need is dire. On your word as both a Senju and as a healer that you will do so as well".

Tsunade stared at him.

He knew of her fear of blood. But she would not dare break such a vow as he'd proposed.

"I accept your bet" she replaced her jewel on her neck. "Who _are_ you? And who is your friend?"

"I will answer those questions should you lose. You win and I will leave" he stated picking up the cards once more.

_Awhile later_

"Kuso!" Tsunade had, unsurprisingly, lost again.

"Your word was given, Tsunade-hime" he reminded her simply.

"She can't do it!" the girl, Shizune protested.

"Oh?" he questioned.

"Tsunade-sama's afraid of blood!" the girl continued.

"What's it going to be then? Your pride and honor as a medical shinobi? Or your fear?" he asked, knowing he had her cornered.

Tsunade grit her teeth, paling at the idea of seeing blood.

"I... I'll do it. I gave my word" she glared at him "Some shinobi honor that".

"Good" he felt himself smirk under his mask "Now, if you'll follow me, I'll be introducing you to your patient".

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Miser-san, two o' clock. Headed this way" I said nodding to him.

"Looks like I win the bet" the Shark smirked, collecting the money.

"Jashin damn it!" Hidan cursed, shooting a dark glare at the miser who'd arrived at our table. "You could've fucking done that faster!"

_Whack! _Kakuzu hit Hidan's head since he couldn't kill him for being an annoyance in such a public place.

"Tsunade-hime, this is Yūgure" he spoke as the familiar woman approached. "And that" a nod to the Weasel "Is your patient: Itachi Uchiha".

Tsunade froze at the sight of us, pushing Shizune behind her. "You... you're all S-class criminals" she fell into a fighting stance.

"Relax, hime" Kisame cast her a flat look "Does it look like we want violence?"

She didn't ease out of her stance, obviously expecting a hit. But she didn't strike either, since none of us had moved to fight.

"Tsunade-sama" I spoke softly "You're attracting unwanted attention. Please. Sit. Allow us to explain and perhaps you'll change your mind on healing Itachi".

The blond considered before yanking a chair over, cracking the back in her hand, before sitting on it to glare at us. Shizune hesitantly moved to stand beside this.

"Start talking" she ordered, making herself sound like the Gondaime Hokage she'd become.

"Fucking bossy bitch" Hidan glared at her.

"Quiet" Kakuzu struck his head again before taking his own seat.

"Tachi... may we?" he'd know what I was asking.

We couldn't tell Tsunade the whole truth.

But hopefully some of it would help change her mind.

Itachi considered his options before slowly producing the mission scroll and handed it over.

I offered it to Tsunade, knowing she would have no reason to destroy it.

The blond snatched it angrily before opening it. And then stared at it in blank disbelief.

"Kakuzu" I produced ryo.

Black threads whipped to snatch the scroll back in an eye blink and return it to Itachi, who hid it once more.

I nudged the bribe over to the miser before returning my attention to the future Gondaime "Our stories have more to them than more people know, Tsunade-sama. Yūgure is rogues who hunt other rogues. We seek to bring down an evil man. Will you help?"

"That... that changes things" Tsunade had lost the malice in her tone, still slightly in shock.

"But Tsunade-sama! Your fear!" Shizune protested.

"I gave my word as a Senju and as a healer" Tsunade growled, slightly talking to herself. "And I cannot call myself a healer if I continue to be afraid of blood". She stared at Itachi, who calmly stared back. "I'll help you".

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama" he politely dipped his head to her.

"Let's... go borrow the local clinic then. I know the people there. A casino is not the place to heal an illness or transplant eyes" Tsunade rose shakily, obviously dreading this but also intent on it. Her pride was forcing her to face her fear. For Itachi's sake, she had to get past it. "F-follow me".

* * *

**Omake – Fangirl, Kakuzu POV**

"You know, miser-san you never answered my question".

He had just joined this strange duo on their quest, seeking a puppet master in Suna.

What question could she have posed that he had not answered?

"What?" he glared at her. But she was unintimidated.

Strange kunoichi.

"Can I touch your threads?" she asked.

Oh right, she had requested that. When they had first encountered each other.

"Why?" he didn't stop his glaring.

"Like I said, they're epic" she responded.

Perhaps it was curiosity that made him do it. Perhaps it was the knowledge he could kill her in an instant.

Either way, threads produced themselves from his skin winding over to her, stopping a small distance away.

Once again, he found himself more surprised than he'd been in a very long time.

The kunoichi raised her hand and lightly touched the strings, as if she would hurt him if she applied more pressure.

The thought of her causing him pain was laughable.

But... this careful concern... with honest wonder on her face as she examined the threads...

How very odd.

"Koneko, you sure you should be doing that?" the Shark questioned, unhappy about sharing her attention.

"Oh shush. I already told you that I fangirl over you all the time" a grin on her face as she continued her overly gentle examination "What do you think asking to play with your hair was?"

She had dared to touch the Shark-nin's hair at some point?

Interesting.

Though, since she was currently examining his threads, he wasn't quite sure he should be surprised.

"That's why you started that?" the Shark arched an eyebrow.

"And why I still do it when I get the chance. Besides your hair is wicked soft" she retracted her hand "Thank you, Kakuzu".

He withdrew the stings back into himself. "You... are welcome" odd words to say.

But then, she was a very odd kunoichi.

* * *

_Yay for healing Itachi! This chapter did not come out as funny as I would've liked. I blame school._

_There is also a lot of the miser in this chapter. No, I wasn't bribed... maybe..._

_**Next time –**__ "__So you're the one they fucking call Snowy, bastard? Nice to fucking meet ya I guess"._

"_You owe us"._

"_Always about fucking money with you isn't it damn old man?"_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Kasai – Already answered your questions earlier ^^ And my apologies for being bad at Math._

_Arcami – More brutally? Wasn't being mauled by shark!Kisame, being trapped by Kakuzu's strings, stuck in Tsukuyomi, and then sacrificed brutal enough? o.o I fully intend to continue though until this tale is finished :D_

_Chibi – It never ends well, unless of course you have an Uchiha with you to help counter Uchiha hax powers. And yes, I have learned my lesson._

_Guest – I'm glad you like it! Updates may slow down once school gets more evil though :( _

_Yami – Hurting Koneko is not a healthy decision to make. And yes. Three accursed times xP Thus why I gave up the review replies._

_Lady – Thank you! I was worried about it ^^; And Kisame would not have been a very happy or sane Shark. And Hidan helps. As for the Jashinist thing... maaaybe. Since Toki's threats usually do consist of sacrificing people, she's not helping matters. Tsunade basically gives herself a mental kick after giving her word. She might drag Shizune into helping, but by next chapter Itachi is fixed._

_Alumi – I didn't save and my browser kept screwing up -sigh- And yes no more Danzo! :D_

_Death – I'm glad you like it! :3_

_Coco – But I feel bad D: Yay for Itachi and Kisame! And maaaybe -evil smile- Samehada is very linked to Kisame's emotions, remember? :P_

_Shiro – I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do about the partners. I guess I'll figure it out once I see if Deodara joins (I'm honestl not sure that's going to happen either) But you do make a good point ^^_

_Ie-maru – He's so smug he sees it as an investment xD_

_Nazebaka – I'm glad my Omake helped bring Itachi more into character ^^ I though it would help explain my reasoning for portraying him like I did._

_Shanny – Exactly x3_

_Variegated – Thank you! :3_

_Nomurai – Yep, Itachi is stuck as the third member whichever team he decides to associate with at the moment. And are you a mind reader? o.o Plus, getting her word upon her honor as a Senju and a healer helps._

_Dawn – The update speed may fall, just as a warning. Once school gets evil all bets are off. And I know, there's not been much fluff wise lately. But they're having to focus on a goal. Next chapter is a lot of fluff though. More time passing so they can attempt to snag the terrorist. And then... the Konoha 12 come in with the start of the canon we know and love._

_Yuuki – Itachi is so hax he out haxes other hax characters. Because Itachi that's why. And no, despite her constant treats and the occaionally drawn Jashinist symbol she's never sacrificed anyone. And pfft. Gambling with Tsunade isn't gambling. It's an investment._

_TheCloud – You get some insight into Konoha's and Mist's reactions to the whole thing. Ao is a sneay shinobi with a lot of information he probably shouldn't have. Tsunade was not very willing until she saw the mission scroll. And then she'd already given her word and honor basically. So she sort of gives herself a mental kick in the ass. Shizune might still be dragged into help though. And yep. The name Yūgure will certainly start to spread... Lollipop will be most unhappy._

_Paul – Thank you ^^_

_Ariados – Danzo does not go down easy. And yes, he can not create more chaos._

_Ajisai – Tssunade is slightly outshown by our miser. But Kakuzu is epic so I suppose I favor him a tad. And this is why you should never say those words, ever. You'll be seeing Deidara soon, chapter after next. And the Konoha 12 after that :3_

_ – You don't have to bow ^^; I'm glad you like it though, and will take that as a compliment. It was actually the Shark's idea to gather the Akatsuki. Toki though he was crazy xD Plus Sharks are not known to share, but then neither are Konekos. And yes, sadly the slaughter had to happen. Dang Bloody Mist._

_Autore – Here, have an update :P_

_Kyprioth – Nope xD But I should so do an Omake with him having the Uchiha equivalent of a disgusted meltdown at the fanpairings. Thanks for the suggestion! ^^_

_Kitkat – Toki is better, but Kisame likes to hover. And Yama is the best grouchy assassin xD Thankfully no gray hairs for Kisame... yet. 'm glad the Omake help. I was using it to explain my characterization of Itachi better ^^; _

_Shadow – I'm glad that was better than I though it was :3 And no. Sasuke only really won again Itachi because Itachi let him+Itachi was sick. Now Itachi will have Eternal Mangekyo and no illness. Duck-butt wouldn't stand a chance currently._

_Ceres – Never say the magic words. I attempted a humerous filler chapter. Not as funny as I'd hoped. I blame school :/_

_Little – You'll probably see Sasori again, but as an Akatsuki agent_

_Kage – Actually, technically I could kill her off and finish the story from Kisame's POV :P Just saying. And indeed, the Shark is still hovering_

_Guest – I apologize. I have school as well, though. So I just update when I can ^^;_

_Kakashi – Clean up on aisle 1! And thank you! Glad you liked it :3_


	27. In Which Nothing Happens

_Yet another chapter where not much of anything occurs. Gah, I don't like these in-between interesting stuff years_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_My Beta reappeared, but is still busy ^^;_

* * *

"There. You can open your eyes now" Tsunade finished unwrapping the last of the bandages that had been over Itachi's eyes for the past couple days.

After an initial panic attack... Tsunade had fought through her fear to both transplant Itachi's eyes and heal his illness. She had been determined to retain her honor as both Senju and healer.

Itachi obeyed, blinking at his surroundings.

"Any discomfort?" the blond woman asked.

"No. Thank you Tsunade-sama" Itachi dipped his head to her in a polite gesture.

"Tachi, try your Sharingan. Make sure everything's okay there" I prompted.

Itachi sighed, but coal black became the signature red of the Sharingan. This appeared no different than the Sharingan he'd had before.

Then his eyes morphed into the Mangekyo. Oddly, there was very little visible difference here.

"Shouldn't that be changed?" Kisame asked. I'd told them of the vast difference between normal Mangekyo and the Eternal Mangekyo Sasuke had possessed.

"I think it is. See that line? That wasn't there before. Tachi is subtle, as always. I bet even Lollipop won't notice the difference" I said after having dared to stare at Itachi's Mangekyo.

The only true change was a small black ring just outside the center of the throwing star shape. Easily missed.

Itachi's eyes faded back to solid black. "I admit to not having been eager for my Sharingan to looks as you described" he informed as he stood. "I'm glad the difference in mine is more subtle than Sasuke's".

"You're cleared to go, Uchiha. Now all of you should get out of here before someone notices that Tanzaku is hosting an entire organization of nuke-nin" Tsunade made a shooing motion. "I, of course, never saw you. Let alone gambled with any of you" she shot a glare at Kakuzu.

I knew I liked her.

"We should probably split up again" I sighed "We attract too much attention all together".

"Back to fucking bounty hunting again, bitch?" Hidan asked.

"Yes. Miser-san, here. Two payments this time since you've got two jobs this time" I held up ryo.

"What jobs?" Kakuzu asked, taking the money.

"First, pay close attention for any rumors amongst your contacts for a nuke-nin from Iwa that uses explosives. Second, make sure you alert us so we can get to him before Akatsuki does" I answered.

"Done" the miser answered. "Come on then, whelp-".

"Yeah, I fucking know already, damn bastard. 'Time is fucking money'. You're so damn predictable" Hidan rolled his eyes following Kakuzu out.

"Thank you again, Tsunade-sama" Itachi bowed.

"For what? You were never here" Tsunade made the same shooing motion.

We took that as our cue to leave.

* * *

**Itachi POV**

_A week later_

It was odd to be able to see properly and not be in pain from his illness after so long.

And the power difference he felt within himself...

It was staggering.

He supposed this was why Toki had called the Eternal Mangekyo 'a hax upgrade to an already hax ability'.

His gaze went to the kunoichi in question as they made camp for the night, already chasing down a bounty.

She'd taken a position behind Kisame and had the Shark's head in her lap, playing with his hair.

Both looked... peaceful, a smile on her face and Kisame seeming almost asleep.

They were content to simply be with each other.

He found himself slightly envious.

He didn't begrudge them each other...

But he did find himself wishing he could have that sort of peace with another person.

Perhaps when this was over then.

When he returned to Konoha.

He'd find someone to have a peace like that with.

Because after the bloodshed they knew was in their future by angering Obito...

He'd treasure every moment of peace he could get.

* * *

**Mangetsu POV**

_One __year after the transplant_

He supposed he had it coming.

He'd been throwing himself into these dangerous missions for some time.

Due to his behavior, people assumed he had a death wish.

Wished for some rogue to finally cut him down so he could die honorably for his Village.

And he was only twenty-six.

Now here he was, leaned against a tree, holding a nasty wound in his side as death approached him in the form of a nuke-nin.

This guy had outclassed him by miles. The nin was barely even sweating while Mangetsu himself was both exhausted and wounded.

Heh. He'd thought himself strong.

He closed his eyes giving a silent farewell to Suigetsu.

He hoped his brother would be okay without him.

_Swish!_ The sound of a weapon coming for him.

_Clang! _An... interception?

What?

He opened his eyes to see the strangest sight imaginable.

Two more nuke-nins had arrived. And they were taking down the one who'd been about to kill him like it was child's play.

All it took was a swing of one male's scythe to force his would-be killer to dodge and the other male used black threads to pierce into the heart, killing the opponent with laughable ease.

The scythe-user then looked at him.

He was in no condition to fight someone of their league.

The scythe-user smirked, apparently recognizing him.

He was certain he and these two nuke-nins had never met.

"So you're the one they call Snowy, bastard? Nice to fucking meet ya, I guess" the silver-haired male leaned on his scythe.

Snowy? It had been some time since he'd heard that nickname.

Possibly a coincidence they'd called him it. It wasn't very original.

The larger male approached, giving him a hard look with his multicolored eyes. Threads came winding out of his skin... and started to sew Mangetsu's wound shut.

This was not what he was expecting from nuke-nins.

"You owe us" the larger one stated, finishing his task.

"Always about fucking money with you isn't it, damn old man?" the other complained.

"No. This one can do something else for us" came the retort.

"While I'm grateful for your help, I fail to see what I can do for you" he bared his teeth at them.

"Ha! Fucking funny, trying to be damn intimidating. You got a fucking long way to go if you want to match Sushi-fucker or the Jashinist-bitch. Or even the Uchiha bastard" the silver-haired one snorted.

The larger one ignored the other. "You can pass news to your Village of our existence. We are Yūgure".

"We're the damn nuke-nins who hunt other fuckers like ourselves" the scythe-user added. "Except for that Leaf bastard whats-his-face. But he doesn't really fucking count".

" Danzō" the larger one gave a sigh of annoyance.

"Yeah that bastard. Almost took the Jashinist-bitch down with him".

"Why should I tell anybody about you?" he found himself countering.

"Because we've decided that we should start revealing ourselves" the larger one answered.

"We're going to start the damn long process of getting on the Lollipop bastard's nerves" scythe-user snickered.

"Who's in charge of you all?" he demanded.

"Sushi-fucker and the Jashinist-bitch of fucking course. Idiot bastard" silver male rolled his eyes.

"Names" he snapped at them.

"You know them. And they know you as well, Mangetsu" the larger one turned, walking away.

"See ya fucking later, Snowy-chan" the silver haired one started to follow after. "Don't let pedo-snake near your fucking younger brother either".

"Do not forget to repay your debt. Or I will make you regret it" this was a snarl. Then the two of them were gone.

Wheels turned in his head.

Jashin... that rang a bell... Toki-chan?

His eyes went wide.

His old genin team mates were in charge of those guys?!

Ao-sensei was going to freak when he heard this!

And what was that about a pedo-snake going near _his _brother?

His eyes narrowed before racing back to Kiri.

* * *

**Normal POV**

_A year after Mangetsu incident_

"Jashin damn it!" I cursed, sulking "Stupid artist is taking forever to defect!"

"Don't worry Koneko. We'll be the first to know when he does. After all you did bribe the miser. And Kakuzu would cause the Apocalypse if you payed him enough" Kisame chuckled at me, tugging me into his lap.

"Even after his defection we have longer still to wait" Itachi reminded. "Your 'canon' does not truly start until Sasuke has graduated. That does not occur until he is twelve".

"You're fifteen, Tachi. That makes your otouto ten right now. So two more Jashin damn years until Team Seven is formed" I sighed, leaning back onto the comfortable pillow that was Kisame, who in turn lazily wrapped his arms around me. Then I snickered "I just hope I get the chance to tease Duck-butt about kissing Naruto. It'll break their minds trying to figure out how a nuke-nin knows about that".

"I still do not understand the name for Sasuke" Itachi shook his head.

"You saw my memories. His hair so looks like a duck's butt while he's a genin" I laughed.

Itachi just sighed, and didn't argue..

"Cheer up, Itachi-san. We'll be meddling in your otouto's life soon enough. After all, I highly doubt you want pedo-snakes anywhere near your brother" Kisame smirked..

"Agreed" Itachi's eyes briefly flashed with the Sharingan at the thought.

"Oro-pedo-snake took Sharingan hax to take down. But since you've got Eternal Mangekyo hax we're covered" I mused "If we prevent Sasuke from getting the curse mark, we'll be changing a lot. We should probably see if we can't find the Snake and Hawk Contracts for him, though. Can't be taking all his haxing powers away".

"What of the Sandaime Hokage?" Itachi asked.

"We're going to have to walk a delicate balance with the invasion. There's a lot of things that need to happen. Shippuden without Tsunade as Gondaime would probably be a bad idea. She plays too large of a role. But, I don't like the thought of letting the Sandaime sacrifice himself due to Oro-snake either". I gave an angry scowl, trying to find a balance. "Hiruzen will need to step down after the invasion. The chase after Gaara still needs to occur. The Sound Four should occur as well, because there's needed character development. That might occur anyway, as I doubt Oro-snake would give up so easily on an Uchiha host body".

"A very fine line indeed" Itachi got that thinking expression on his face. Putting his much keener mind to work.

A moment of quiet as Weasel schemed.

"Perhaps, we collapse that barrier after the Sandaime has battled Orochimaru for a bit, forcing the Senin's retreat. This will most likely make the Sandaime see two things. The first being that his former student is beyond redemption. The second, that he needs to give the title of Hokage to another. As for the Sound Four, the Senin may be angry enough after our intervention that this event still occurs in a sense. But, I hope it will not be on a chase after my otouto" Itachi finally spoke as he planned.

"And if it is?" Kisame asked.

"We get in the way. I will not allow Sasuke near that corrupt man" Itachi's eyes flickered dangerously.

"And as for Oro-snake?" I questioned.

"We take him down. At the Valley of the End where he'll be waiting on Sasuke. He'll find himself facing a much different Uchiha" Itachi's eyes bled red with the Sharingan, the only outward sign of his raging emotions.

"I really hope the dang terrorist defects soon. And that he joins us. Those birds of his would make life so much easier" I sighed. "We've only got two years. Then we've got to keep an eye on Team Seven. We'll need to watch for the Wave Arc. Where they meet Zabuza and Haku".

"I still can't believe that asshole twerp had enough of a heart to even make someone his tool" Kisame growled.

"Zabuza is a gray character. Still dark, but gray nonetheless" I harbored little love for him myself, but I knew this was still true. "I know it sounds crazy, but we might want to try recruiting them".

"Koneko, I must be hearing things. Did you just suggest recruiting that asshole?" Kisame gave me a dubious look.

"I am not sure that is wise either" Itachi added.

"We're a group of six people, assuming Deidara joins us" I reminded "Six against one of the most hax characters in this universe". I sighed "Perhaps save them at least. At the last possible moments. This will allow character development in both Sasuke and Naruto, but prevent Zabuza and Haku from being revived with Edo Tensei should we fail to take down glasses-creeper before he goes nuts with it".

"We should target Kabuto before that event occurs. We cannot allow him to resurrect Madara. I doubt we would have a chance against a man who could stand up against all nine biju at once" Itachi stated flatly. "To save the other rogues or not... I'll leave that choice to you".

"I'm voting no on saving the twerp's sorry ass" Kisame muttered.

"Our conflict happened a long time ago Kisame. I haven't forgiven him either... but it's stupid to hold a grudge for so long" I sighed.

"You still bear the sign of his hate on your neck, Koneko" the Shark reminded me, a hand going to brush over where my hitai-ate hid the scar.

"I know Kisame. But no one deserves to be used like that" I answered.

"Fine, fine. We'll _**try **_to save their sorry lives. But I make no promises" Kisame growled, his hold tightening around me. "Especially not about attempting to recruit them".

I nodded. This would be the best I got out of the Shark.

* * *

_Several months later_

"Time to go check in with the Zombies" Kisame snickered as we made our way to the outpost, a new bounty in tow.

When apart like this, we met up about once a month, splitting the pay from the bounties and basically just making sure everyone was still alive.

We were starting to hear whispers of our name getting spread here and there.

We weren't as famous as the Akatsuki... but we were slowly gaining notoriety. I just hoped it was a good thing.

"There you three fuckers are. Damn slow" Hidan greeted in his typical fashion as we came up to turn in our bounty.

"The nuke-nin, Deidara" Kakuzu spoke simply "He has defected from Iwa. Hasn't gained much fame yet. But it is only a matter of time".

"Oh lovely. Time to go find a terrorist" I grinned "You know where he is miser-san?"

"Yes" immediate answer. Of course he would. He'd been paid to find out. "We can leave after you've gotten your money". Naturally he'd be worried about getting that first.

"No genjutsu allowed, Tachi" I told the Uchiha simply.

"So you've said. Numerous times" Itachi's neutral expression did not fit the slight amusement I sensed coming off of him.

Jashin damn, learning to speak Uchiha was harder than it'd been to learn Japanese.

* * *

_Snowy gets saved from death by the most unlikely of people... he should go try the lottery._

_This chapter feels... boring. Blah. Suggestions on how to better it appreciated. _

_**Next time –**__ "__Koneko"_

"_But Kisame~! It's the hand-mouth!"_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Eternal (x2) – Yay! Hi again :3 And no, gambling with the miser is a really really bad idea. Snowy's not his usual cheerful self, but I think we can excuse that since he was facing Hidan and Kakuzu. Here, have an update :)_

_Marina – Itachi is a surprisingly understandable person, except for when he starts speaking Uchiha. Then nobody understands. Here, have another ^^_

_Coco – And more fangirling to come. This time over Deidara. Kisame is unamused xD And of course, Sarutobi is a very smart man. I'd so ask to touch the threads too... provided I could be sure miser wouldn't kill me for asking._

_Fire – Pre-time-skip. Or basically canon genin years. PTS Sakura is genin Sakura. Who was the queen of being useless._

_Nazebaka – this is why you never gamble with him. Because he will win. Every single time. I'm glad I did a good job with Kakuzu. I like the miser :3 I'm glad Yūgure are becoming your favorites. Let's hope Deidara joins this insanity. I don't feel like this chapter was particularly interesting though... But thank you! And I'm not Sasori aka stick in the mud, so nope not the Puppet master xD_

_Arcami – Mangetsu has amazing luck. He should be glad Kisame and Toki thought to describe him to the others. And there's no way an alive Mangetsu is letting pedo-snakes get near Suigetsu. EVER. I can try with Jugo, though I'm not sure where he'd be at this point in time._

_Shadoweld – And in a nice brutal fashion too :3_

_Music – Snowy's not his cheerful flirty self , but I believe we can excuse that on account of who's saving him xD_

_Chibi – Maybe -shifty eyes- And PDA is public display of affection. Which Kisame and Toki do often cause they give not one crap about what other people think. And yes PTS is pre time-skip. How did you forget Snowy? D: Mangetsu's going to go sulk now because he was forgotten._

_Kasai – Nope, Tsunade stays to continue gambling xD (until Naruto shows up of course) I'm not going to deliberately kill a Rookie 9 member, but who knows where this story will go. Snake-pedo still comes in, thus why there's the whole chunk of discussion of what to do about him._

_Kakashi – I honestly completely forgot about Tonton ._. Whoops. And be careful! Don't tempt fate by risking Cs just cause I updated! (says a fellow procrastinator)_

_Sezu-Ni – Snowy gets so lucky he doesn't even realize. He should go try the lottery after that save._

_Marina – Yep. And Now he is even more hax. Not satisfied with this particular chapter though but oh well. Maybe I'm just excited for the terrorist._

_Dawn – Nope! Not going to abandon this. I'm sticking with it even through boring chapters like this one. I pity you. Good luck on finals. And there's constant hints of romance. As they're not alone very often Kisame and Toki sort of take what they can get. _

_TheThird – Thank you very much! A compliment like that means a lot ^^ Kisame is ridiculously fun to write, I agree. Cause he's somehow adorable even when he's a grouchy Shark._

_Iice – Here have another update ;)_

_Sofie – Thank you ^^_

_Ariados – Nope. Tsunade stays to gamble. And Yūgure? Who's that? ;) I don't think yu'll be seeing alliances like that though. The Third War is over by this time._

_ – You'll have to see. The terrorist appears next chapter. And they've discussed Zabuza... who knows. It is true that Yūgure is not limited to stolen Akatsuki members only xD You might see a jinchuuriki. Maybe. Depends on where the story goes. They do prefer nuke-nin to normal nin. And Itachi will eventually tell his foolish otouto the truth. But before that he's keeping the pedo-snake well away._

_Ajisai – Don't worry. I have no plans on killing off Toki. I was merely pointing out that I could continue the story without her. Heck, for all you all know this tale ends with Lollipop winning and the world in flames x3 I have indeed read 'Sakura', it's where I borrowed the idea of the Mangekyo looking into memories from. As for the ending who knows~ -evil smile-_

_Argent – Guess you need to prepare the auction one last time cause we're coming up on a terrorist xD_

_Shadow – Kakuzu is best miser. And Toki fully intends to keep sai miser well away from any stray rasen-shurikens_

_Death – Yeah, but we're stuck in a bit of filler right now. Curse these in-between parts. -sigh-_

_Ie-Maru – I'm glad you liked my portrayal of him :3 And exactly, though Yūgure is fully intent on getting rid of Oro-snak asap._

_Ceres – Now I want to see Kakuzu dressed as a mafia boss..._

_Lady – True. But one should never gamble with the miser because he always wins. And indeed they're deliberately starting the slow spread of their name. Tre, it won't catch Lollipop's attention just yet but when it does... You'll see about Deidara in the next chapter x3_

_Avain – Thank you very much! :D_

_Kaito __–_ Hehe, bossy ;P Here, have an update


	28. Explosive Encounter

_I just finished all my homework so here's a treat :3_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_Beta busy_

* * *

"This is taking fucking forever to get to the damn terrorist" Hidan whined as we traveled.

"You talk too much" Kakuzu growled.

"All I'm fucking saying is that this shit bastard better be worth this trouble. You even fucking sure we're going in the right fucking direction, damn old man?"

_BOOM!  
_An explosion rocked the ground, making us stagger in the trees.

Everyone was stunned for a few moments.

"Very sure" Kakuzu answered dryly.

Kisame gave an impressed whistle. "I believe that would be the terrorist we're looking for".

"Most likely" I agreed.

"Now I see why we fucking want the bastard helping with this shit" Hidan admitted.

"Tachi, is it just him or are there others to worry about?"

Itachi's Sharingan scanned the direction the explosion had come from. "What others there were got destroyed by the blast. ANBU sent to retrieve him most likely".

"Such a wonderful time to go and attempt to recruit the pyromaniac. But beggars can't be choosers" I sighed before we set off towards the bomber once more.

* * *

"I told you, yeah. My art is the best, un!" the blond terrorist stood over a nice crater mocking the disintegrated ANBU.

Must. Not. Fangirl.

"Sup, Deidara? That really is an impressive hole" Kisame greeted as we approached cautiously, empty hands raised. The other three stayed back. Didn't want the terrorist thinking we wanted a fight.

"You know me, hmm?" Deidara narrowed his visible eye. Then he smirked "I wouldn't be coming much closer if I were you, un". He raised his hand, which mirrored his smirk. A clear warning.

Mission – avoid fangirling.

Status?

Miserable failure.

"Oh my Jashin, it's the mouth!" I actually squealed, losing all sense to dart over to the terrorist to get a closer look "It's really the hand-mouth! Can I touch it? Oh! Can you make something go 'katsu'?!"

"Koneko" Kisame gave me a look that was a cross between a jealous glare and a 'You're completely insane' stare.

"But Kisame~!" I protested pointing at Deidara's hand "It's the hand-mouth!"

"...You aren't... disturbed by it, yeah?" Deidara seem vastly unsure of what to make of me, frozen in his shock.

"Pfft. Of course not. These things are so epic it's not even funny" I shook my head. "Like your art. Your art is epic too"

"You like my art, un?" Deidara gave his signature smile, brightening at this topic.

"Duh. I really want to see something go 'katsu' too" I grinned back.

"We really should get to the offer, Koneko" Kisame reminded me, jealous irritation showing in his snarling words.

"An offer, yeah? What is it?" the terrorist seemed much more friendly now that I'd basically fangirled all over him.

Huh, fangirlism comes in handy.

Who knew?

"We'd like you to join our group. We're Yūgure" I told him.

"That name sounds somewhat familiar, hmm" Deidara mused then tilted his head "What's in it for me?"

"We hunt down other nuke-nin for their bounties. You'll get pay. Plus, we seek to bring down the Akatsuki. That organization wants to put the entire world in a genjutsu and rule it" Kisame answered.

"So, un?

"If the world is put in that genjutsu no one will ever be enjoy the art of a fleeting instant ever again" I replied.

This wasn't even a lie either.

Deidara's face was one of horror. "What?! That's terrible, un!"

"What do you say? Want to help?" Kisame continued, starting to grin.

"I'll help, yeah" the terrorist nodded

"And now you get the rest of the story" I grinned.

"Story, hmm? What story?"

_One retelling of Naruto later_

Deidara was scowling. "You have got to be kidding me, un. Turning myself into art for it all to be a waste! I don't even take the guy down with me, yeah".

"You were up against Sasuke. Uchihas are so hax. Right, Tachi?" I smiled at our resident Uchiha.

"Hn" came the answer.

"Oh don't go being antisocial just cause we've got a new guy" I pouted at Itachi. Then brightened, turning back to Deidara. "Can I please please touch the mouths? _Please?_ Maybe see something go 'katsu'?"

"I... guess, un" Deidara presented his hand.

* * *

**Deidara POV**

He had to admit, seeing someone not disgusted by his hands was a refreshing change.

And to have it be a girl at that.

Girls were usually even worse about not wanting to be anywhere near the mouths.

But this odd kunoichi was examining his hand, obviously fascinated.

She was also surprisingly gentle about it too, intent on not hurting him or the mouth in her examination.

What a very strange woman.

"So we got the fucking transy-bitch-bastard now. Am I supposed to fucking celebrate?" the silver haired male a small distance away drawled.

His temper flared.

Never insult an explosives expert.

"You wanted to see my art, yeah?" he grinned.

"Jashin hell yes!" she looked like an excited puppy, releasing his hand. All she lacked was a wagging tail.

His now freed hand went to his clay to form a small bird.

The clay bird flitted around her head for a few moments.

"Fucking gay if you ask me" the scythe-user commented.

He felt himself smirk as the bird suddenly flew towards the silver-haired male at top speed.

The others had the sense to get away.

"Katsu!"

The resulting explosion was a true work of art.

* * *

**Normal POV**

There was a brief pause.

Myself and Kisame burst out laughing.

"That fucking hurt Jashin damn you transy!" Hidan complained from where he'd been blown into a tree.

"You mentioned recognizing our name" Kakuzu ignored his partner.

"I did, yeah. But I've only heard mentions. You're not as infamous as the Akatsuki, un" Deidara answered.

"At least our plan is stating to work" the Shark was still snickering.

It took me a few moments longer to recover.

"Alright, Dei. We tend to work in pairs. So I guess your partner is-" I was about to offer myself as his partner.

"Itachi" Kisame finished before I could do so.

I blinked "But that splits up-"

"You're _**my**_ partner, Koneko. No one else's" Kisame's stare offered no room for argument.

"... That okay with you, Tachi?" I asked. After all, they hadn't liked each other much in canon.

"Yes" the Uchiha nodded "These circumstances are different than before".

"Good thing I don't hate you this time around, un" Deidara snickered.

"Plus, with myself as his partner, he can further train himself to resist genjutsu" Itachi continued.

I sighed in defeat. I hadn't wanted to break up the deadly combo that was Itachi and Kisame. But there was no way I was winning this argument.

"Heh. I guess that makes you Danna then, hmm" Deidara grinned "Since I'm not with Sasori. Good thing, yeah. Stupid to think art's eternal. Art is an explosion. Un".

Itachi just gave Deidara a passive stare, clearly not going to engage in the Artist duo's argument. He was also not going to encourage Deidara by commenting on being called Danna.

"Well I guess we'll have some roulette training before splitting up again" Kisame mused "Get Deidara here used to everybody".

"Roulette training, un?" the artist blinked in confusion.

"Where everybody rotates partners in intense sparring matches. That way if you're stuck fighting alongside someone else from Yūgure that's not your normal partner you're still capable of working together" I explained.

This was a mandatory part of our monthly meetings when separated.

"Sounds fun, un" Deidara's smirk grew "I'll show you all my art, yeah".

* * *

_Deidara and Kakuzu_

"You're absolutely terrifying, un" the bomber gave our miser a flat look.

He and Kakuzu had been paired up against Hidan and Itachi. Kakuzu had just set his lightning heart after them.

Chaos ensued.

"Tell me about it, bastard" Hidan agreed "And I'm normally the one fucking stuck with the damn old man".

"Quiet, whelp" Kakuzu's threads chased after Hidan as Itachi launched a fire ninjutsu at Deidara.

* * *

_Deidara and Kisame_

"I'm really starting to like your explosives" Kisame smirked as the bang forced Kakuzu to dodge.

"Miser-san, I do believe they're taking us lightly" I complained. "How about we show them the error of their ways?"

"I don't like the sound of that, yeah" Deidara gulped.

"Very well" Kakuzu agreed. I sensed he was smirking under his mask.

"Eheh... Koneko you know I love you right?" Kisame got a nervous look on his face.

"And I love you. Now prepare to get your ass kicked" I answered before the miser and I launched a simultaneous lightning attack.

* * *

_Deidara and Hidan_

"Don't fucking blow me up again, bitch" Hidan warned as his scythe chased after me.

"I don't think I'm the one you should be worried about, un" Deidara rolled his eyes as his explosives caused Itachi to turn into a flock of crows.

"Like I'm going to listen to you, fucker" the zealot snapped.

Itachi reformed in front of him, catching Hidan's gaze before the immortal had time to react.

"Tsukuyomi". And Hidan was trapped.

"Told you so, yeah".

* * *

_Deidara and Toki_

BOOM!  
"Wow, lightning ninjutsu and your explosives creates an awesome reaction" I grinned.

"True art, yeah" Deidara had a matching grin on his face. "I think I like you, leader-chan".

"Please don't call me that. Makes me think of Pein" I shuddered.

"Sorry, un".

"Koneko, I think it's a good thing you two aren't really partners. You'd destroy everything" Kisame sighed, having dodged the fierce blast.

"Agreed" Itachi seconded.

"What's so bad about that?" I pouted.

"Yeah! They have no appreciation for true art, un" Deidara sulked as well.

* * *

_Deidara and Itachi _

"Finally with my actual partner, hmm" Deidara glanced over at the Uchiha.

"Aa" Itachi glanced back at him before returning his attention to Kisame and myself. "These fights will be harder since these are the usual partners".

"Don't worry, yeah. I'm sure you and I can create some impressive art, un" Deidara smirked.

Itachi glanced back at him partner for a moment.

I could've sworn I saw a smirk on his face.

"We shall see" Itachi responded before launching a fire ninjutsu to set off some of Deidara's bombs.

* * *

_Sometime later_

The area where we'd been training was destroyed.

And I really do mean _**destroyed**_.

"Well... At least all traces of us being the ones that caused this are gone too " Kisame laughed as he observed the crater filled wasteland that had been a forest.

"You guys are impressive, un" Deidara spoke from on top of one of his clay birds, seeming content with the massive damage in front of him. "Though, you don't look like much of an organization, hmm".

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Most organizations have a look, yeah" the artist replied.

"Like a fucking uniform?" Hidan asked.

"Like the Akatsuki cloaks, un" Deidara nodded.

"Expensive" Kakuzu growled.

"Cheer up, miser-san" Deidara smirked "I could make them, yeah. For free. Just because true art is fleeting doesn't mean I don't know how to do other things, un".

Kakuzu instantly relaxed at the word 'free'.

"Opinions?" I asked the others "He does have a point".

"Sure, why not?" Kisame shrugged.

"Eh, I fucking wore the Akatsuki cloak before. I don't really seeing much of a damn difference" Hidan echoed the Shark's shrug.

"I have no issues" Itachi stated.

"So long as it's free" Kakuzu said flatly.

"I'm for it, if we can come up with a good look" I finished, "So... ideas?"

"You're deliberately the opposite of Akatsuki, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Yes" Kisame answered.

"Then why not an opposite look too, un?" the artist offered.

"They wear black cloaks with red clouds outlined in white" I offered, though we all knew this. "Hats sometimes to cover their faces".

"No hats. We're wanting attention so we can start annoying the Lollipop" Kisame reminded.

"Alright. No hats" I nodded.

"So white cloaks or a very light gray, un. And some sort of symbol outlined in black or silver" Deidara mused. Then blinked. "What's the opposite of a cloud, hmm?"

A few moments of silence.

"You know.. I have no actual idea" I admitted.

"I don't know either" Kisame shook his head.

"A clear sky" Itachi stated simply. Dang smart Weasel knowing everything.

"That's true. So something to do with a clear sky at dusk. A sunset? Stars? The moon?" I gave a helpless gesture.

"A sunset may be mistaken as a sunrise" Kisame pointed out.

"Fair point. Then stars or the moon? Maybe the kanji for Yūgure?" I offered.

"I'll see what I can come up with, un" Deidara nodded.

"Better be fucking stylish is we're supposed to wear the shit" Hidan grumbled.

"They won't be true art, yeah. But they'll still be good" our local terrorist smirked.

"Well one we're all outfitted, we should start keeping a close eye on Konoha. We'll still hunt down other nuke-nin and bandits. But we've got to know when the Wave Arc happens. I suggest we have one pair hunting nearby bounties at all times until that occurs. The other two duos can roam somewhat for other targets that are further away but should be ready to get called back at a moment's notice" I informed.

"You sure you don't want to be called leader-chan, yeah?" Deidara grinned "Maybe boss lady, un".

"Nope. Just Toki" I shook my head. "Besides, Kisame is just as in charge as I am".

"Can you have a bird stay with each team?" Kisame asked our new addition "That way we can send a fast signal if we need each other. Maybe have it able to grow and shrink for travel?"

"Yeah, un. I'll add that to my list of things to create after I figure out our look" the blond nodded.

* * *

**Omake – Pairings, Itachi POV**

He outright refused to ask about these fan pairings he'd discovered in Toki's memories.

In fact, he would pretend he didn't know at all.

He wished in vain that there was such a thing as mental soap so he could forever rid himself of the images.

He glanced over at his new blond partner musing over a sketchbook.

He barely managed to maintain his neutral expression instead of grimacing at the thought.

A glance at Kisame, head in Toki's lap again for the ritual of her playing with his hair.

He couldn't help his slight shudder.

Then his thoughts wandered to his otouto.

He felt himself pale, almost becoming physically ill.

He preferred women, plain and simple.

And he was going to resolutely pretend he had no idea what people had him doing with his _otouto_.

Or any of his other male companions.

* * *

_+1 terrorist. Fangirls are sometimes a good thing. Itachi is now honorary Danna._

_I got numerous suggestions as to what their cloaks would look like. Only, I can't imagine something that doesn't look... silly._

_So, artists and writers alike, help me think of something good with the guidelines provided by Toki and the others. Writers be __**descriptive. **Artists__ can draw if they wish ^^ Let's have Yūgure look epic!_

_**Next time –**__ "__TEME!"_

"_And that would be Team 7"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Coco – Indeed he was. I was originally going to have him die like in canon, but I decided that was too mean. And Toki fangirls all over the place when it comes to Deidara. Tsunade is amazing and she'd so pretend that she'd never seen them or heard of them. Yes indeed no more illness or blindness for our resident Uchiha :3_

_Ie-maru – I probably thought it was so boring cause I had this chapter which I find amusing xD And of course Mangetsu is protective. He has a brother complex after all._

_Shanny – Toki is just one big puddle of fangirl in this xD_

_Eternal – Yep! No more blindness/illness! Snowy has been saved from his death and shall now keep pedo-snake away from his little brother. I'm sure Itachi will find someone as well. And after writing this chapter I've been ending my thoughts in yeah, hmm, or un. Curse you Deidara, un!_

_Arcami – Praise Jashin! I'll see if I can't sneak Juugo in and have it be believable. I make no promises though :/_

_Argent – Did this go as expected? :P And no matter what I try I can't come up with a mental image that doesn't look silly. So, I'm opening it for everyone to describe until I find one that sounds like it looks epic xD_

_Marina – It's true. Everyone is so hax. Toki went fangirl all over the place. And it actually helps. Who knew?_

_Kasai – Yes. One giant puddle of fangirl xD And I have my ways. Things don't always go according to plan when it comes to screwing up the plot._

_Nazebaka – I'm still amazed he did that. It wasn't planned xD And Konoha knows they're there due to Danzo but Sarutobi is all 'we owe them'. Everybody else it's more like rumors with nothing really substantial enough to order ANBU going after ghosts. For now :P But Leaf-nin appear, I promise._

_Alumi – Does that preview answer your question? :P_

_White – I would so want to touch the hand-mouth. And Kisame is unamused._

_Ajisai – Yes to the first two questions. No Suigetsu for pedo-snake. And Itachi's actually going to help with that. They don't hate each other! Amazing! And glasses-creeper does indeed need to die. But alas, not yet. And slowly but surely they're starting to reveal themselves to the Lollipop. Dumb question: What do you mean by a Naruto styled fairytale? ._. It sounds interesting though... I might if I knew what you meant._

_Wind – Itachi is beyond hax strong now. He's hax times infinity. And indeed he can. So we only have some flashes of his antisocial habits, but he's more quiet than truly antisocial with the others._

_Guest – Now that's a thought to consider. Thank you. Toki and I were just honestly blaming on her rebirth on a twisted sort of luck._

_Whiti – Thank you for the compliment ^^_

_Kakashi – That's not good for you. Tsk tsk. And never seen fencing ._. Hope you enjoy my Deidara! Thank you. Complicated Weasels are not easy to write. (Yes I have. Curse you Kishimoto!) Hidan is loads of fun because he gets to say all the insults everyone else refrains from._

_Pierce – Toki fangirls. Everywhere._

_Ariados – You;ll certainly be seeing Yūgure interfere with the attempts to catch the jinchuuriki. If anything comes of that, I don't know. :P_

_Guest – We're almost there :3_

_This – Thank you for the compliment :D And I intend to continue until it is done. _

_Kyprioth – There you go :P Have an Omake to answer your questions. It's the second version. And Toki doesn't dare. She hasn't even attempted asking Tachi to let her fangirl over him yet._

_Girl – Hope you like this one as well!_

_TheThird – Thank you! And I suppose you have a point. Maybe I was just excited for the terrorist and thus considered the last chapter boring. _

_Death – Thank you :3_

_Ethorin (x2) – Nope, Toki was not instant S-rank by any means. Had to basically have it beaten into her. And I don't remember. Someone mentioned it and I went to the corner of shame. And Jashin hell __**no**__will I __**ever**__write a Twilight ff._

_Ceres – Lollipop has Zetsu. Zetsu was quite literally made for the Lollipop. I highly doubt Snowy would join Akatsuki. Perhaps Zabuza, assuming Toki and Kisame actually managed to save him and then not recruit him. And even then Zabuza's more of a loner (Haku doesn't count) than a team player._

_Wars – It's mentioned that Pein/Nagato is considered a bit too crazy. Plus impossible to convince not to listen to evil Lollipops. Konan is too loyal to Pein/Nagato to leave him. Thank you! Glad you like it!_

_Wolves – You'll have to wait awhile to see that. We're not even to the Wave Arc yet xD But indeed. It shall be an epic fight. _

_Shadow – They're not killing Kabuto yet. And screwing up the plot doesn't always go as planned ;)_

_Kitkat __–_ She does indeed. And Kisame would be most unhappy if she attempted that one xD Uchiha is near impossible to understand even with Toki's emotion sensing abilities. And she fully intends to troll them about it if she gets the chance. Haku is a definite maybe so far as living goes. Here, have an update :3


	29. Lucky Number 7

_Let me take a moment to thank you all so very much. I never thought this story would get any attention. But you all have proven me so very wrong. And for that I truly do thank you -bows-_

**Disclaimer: **Don't Own Naruto

_Beta busy_

* * *

Deidara and Itachi had gone to a nearby town to get the artist materials to work with once he'd been satisfied with his design. Deidara had assured our temperamental miser numerous times he'd be paying for the stuff (Kisame and I both slipped him extra ryo when Kakuzu wasn't looking). With any luck, the two would be returning with a finished product.

"I'm fucking bored" Hidan complained, sitting on the ground as we waited.

_Whack! _"Quiet" Kakuzu ordered.

"Kisame, do you recall what peace and quiet is? I can't seem to remember anymore" I drawled to the Shark whose lap I was occupying.

"Quiet? Koneko, what's this quiet you speak of?" he returned dryly.

"Ha, ha. Very fucking funny you two" Hidan glared.

"Annoying whelp" Kakuzu's threads were poking out of his skin, threatening to kill Hidan.

"We're back, un!" The phrase stopped the impending violence. A large clay bird landed with both Deidara and Itachi jumping easily off of it. "Danna and I bring gifts, yeah". Other than the closest thing an Uchiha got to a sigh of resignation, Itachi did not react to his now seemingly fixed status of being honorary Danna.

"Fucking finally. Slow ass bastard" Hidan commented as he stood.

"Maybe I'll turn your gift into real art, un" Deidara narrowed his visible eye.

"Please don't" Kisame sighed "That'll just make it worse".

"Here you go, hmm. A look fit for an organization, yeah" Deidara went to each person, handing each one a certain gray bundle. "Even Danna here hasn't seen them yet, un" he spoke as he handed one over to Itachi, keeping the last for himself.

"Holy Jashin, Dei. These are amazing" I said after unfurling mine.

It was a gray haori with long sleeves. On the center of the upper back was the midnight blue image of a moon with the silver kanji for Yūgure outlined in black superimposed over it. Around the bottom hem the gray was speckled here and there with white, emulating the look of a starry sky while not being obnoxious. The front was plain, except for the star-field look that continued on the bottom hem and one last small detail.

I couldn't help laughing on seeing it.

Small kaji, matching the look of the ones on the back were there on the right shoulder. Each of these were different.

Mine was the kanji for neko.

I glanced as the others donned their new clothing, wanting to see what kanji Deidara had given them. Kisame's was shark, Hidan's blood, Kakuzu's money, Itachi's crow, and the blond's own explosion.

"I thought they could use a bit of personal flair, un" the artist explained as I put mine on.

The terrorist had a good eye, each haori hitting the wearer just above the knee and the sleeves coming to the wrists.

There were small gray ties hidden on the inside should the person wish to wear it closed, but we all seemed to like them open.

"Not true art, yeah. But I told you they'd be good" Deidara smirked. "Here, un. The birds you wanted too". Two more clay birds produced themselves one going to the Zombie and the other to myself and Kisame. Both were able to be stored away.

Once that was done Kisame nodded.

"Koneko and I will take first watch over Konoha then. Everyone else, find a bounty and get to chasing" he grinned before darting off towards the Leaf, forcing me to follow or get left behind.

At least I would look epic while chasing after my partner.

* * *

_Two years later_

"Another interesting day of watching the Leaf Village" I chirped as the Shark and I hung out in one the many trees surrounding Konoha

"It's a good thing I speak sarcasm, Koneko. Otherwise, I'd worry about your sanity... more so than I do already anyways" Kisame chuckled before nipping my neck lightly.

"Hey! I'm watching the fascinating display that is another peaceful day in Konoha" I gave a half-assed protest, making no moves to stop him.

"And I'm distracting you" Kisame returned, teeth grazing over my neck before he turned my head so he could kiss me.

It had been rather nice splitting up into just being the partner pairs again for the past years. Itachi had never been a bother while being our unofficial third, but being alone with the Shark meant we wouldn't be bothering other people with... certain things.

And I hadn't been willing to subject the poor Uchiha to having to suffer through such.

But, now that it was just us...

Most anything was free game.

There was the distinct sound of chaos as the Academy let out. Kisame and I broke off the kiss with a mutual sigh. Have to watch to see if the teams were formed yet.

Which, to my surprise, they were.

"Oh look, Kisame, progress. There's Team 8" I pointed to the distinct sight of Hinata, Shino, and Kiba (with a tiny Akamaru on his head) following after Kurenai. "And Team 10 over there" a motion to the Shika-Ino-Cho trio with Asuma.

"Their sensei is the girl you faced in the exams" Kisame muttered, looking at Kurenai.

"Too bad Team 9 is still in circulation. Otherwise you'd get to see Guy again" I snickered.

"The green spandex psycho? How does someone like that manage a team?" Kisame gave a dubious look.

"You think he was bad by himself, you should see him and Lee" I grinned. I'd included details in my retellings of Naruto. The horror that was Lee and Guy together had been one of these details.

"You know, if I can go without seeing that... thing you described to me, I'll die a happy Shark" Kisame replied.

"Now I want to make sure you meet your 'eternal rival' again" I laughed. From my position in his hold, I felt Kisame shudder.

"TEME!" came a very familiar voice.

"And that would be Team 7. Still waiting on Kakashi, cause he's always late" I grinned.

Team 7 was still inside the academy and we'd heard Naruto from all the way out here.

"Kyuubi kid has a pair of lungs on him" Kisame snickered.

"Especially when Duck-butt is involved" I nodded sagely. "Sasuke never fails to get emotion from Naruto".

If I hadn't been sure Itachi would find a way to stick me in a permanent Tsukuyomi for it, I'd use this knowledge to torment him with the awfulness that was SasuNaru. Our resident Uchiha was practically asking for it with that brother complex of his.

"So the Copy-nin will show eventually and this story of your finally fully starts" the Shark was watching the Academy now, predatory gleam in his eyes. Probably thinking about how many more chances we'd have to muck up the plot now that we'd hit the official start of canon after so long.

"Exactly" I laughed "I'm still so hoping for a chance to tease Duck-butt and Naru about that kiss".

"Then we should go introduce ourselves" Kisame smirked.

"Are you nuts?!" I nudged the Shark "Team 7 hasn't even met Kakashi, let alone taken the bell test".

"Then what about after the bell test?" Kisame's smirk just got wider.

"We already screwed things up with Sai. I hope the emotionally stunted artist was alright after we took down Danzo" I shook my head. "Poor guy. I hope he became a normal ANBU or something. My point being is that Team 7 meeting nuke-nins before they even run their first D-rank would not be a good idea".

"You're no fun Koneko" Kisame pouted at me. "Sitting here watching is making me feel like we're not much better than pedo-snake and glasses-creeper".

I gaped at him. "You so did not just compare us to those two".

"I did".

"Jashin hell no are we like them" I scowled "Fine, we'll catch Tora for them or something. But I blame you for anything that goes wrong".

"Fair enough" the Shark smirked.

* * *

**Some time later – 3****rd****Person POV**

"Where's that cat?" Sakura complained as she look around. "We just had it". Tora had somehow managed to completely vanish, which annoyed the girl greatly. But at least it was more time with Sasuke.

"Cats can't vanish" Kakashi sighed "But this is unusual". He was actually considering using one of his ninken to help find this blasted feline. They'd been at this chase for hours.

"Sakura-chan, I swear it was just here" Naruto whined. He was hungry! Once that stupid cat was caught he was making a beeline for Ichiraku Ramen.

"See it anywhere, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn" the Uchiha was unimpressed with his team. But, even the great Sasuke had to admit that he was having no luck finding some dumb cat.

"Of course teme doesn't see it! We've lost the stupid thing!"

"Having trouble?" the strange voice was amused. Team 7 turned as a whole to see a kunoichi wearing a strange looking haori, holding Tora who was purring happily. The cat was nuzzling against her face, blocking the view of her hitai-ate. But, as Tora was a Konoha cat, she was most likely not an enemy.

"You caught the beast!" Naurto pointed at her gaping "That demon likes you!"

"I guess you can say I have a way with cats" she laughed, as if amused by something. "I guess this puts us at odds then, ne Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi blinked, having fallen into a deceptively relaxed stance. He didn't know this kunoichi... though she looked vaguely familiar. It was little surprise she knew him. He was the infamous Copy-nin after all. "Ma, I suppose you're right". Cats and dogs weren't known for getting along very well. But he wasn't going to move to attack just yet. She was offering no threat... and she'd managed to catch that horrid creature for them.

"And hello to you too, little genins. I believe you're wanting this" a gesture to indicate the cat.

"Ah... y-yes please" Sakura managed.

"Here" the kunoichi knelt so that she was at a disadvantage, Tora giving her an unamused look. "Oh don't pout. You know you're just causing trouble" she scolded the feline.

Both Sasuke and Naruto went forward.

"Who are you, onee-san?" Naruto questioned, moving to take the cat while Sasuke eyed the kunoichi warily.

"A friend"she grinned, a hand moving up slowly, clearly showing no threat. Then, without warning... she poked Sasuke's forehead. Exactly like Itachi used to do. He froze in shock. "That kiss you two shared in the Academy was hilarious by the way".

Naruto gaped at her. "H-how...?!"

"Koneko" a second shinobi revealed himself, smirking. He was a giant shark-person, managing to freeze the remaining members of Team 7 "Sorry to ruin the fun, but it seems ANBU have noticed us. Ohayō Team 7, sorry we can't stick around and get to know each other better".

"Jashin damn it" she pouted stepping back. Both of them wore similar haori... and also wore matching hiati-ate.

Nuke-nins from Kiri.

"See ya around! And you better become Hokage Naruto. Ja ne".

"I'll become Hokage! Believe it!" the blond's reflex reply came though he was still staring at them both in shock.

Then both nuke-nins vanished with speed.

Sasuke unfroze. "That... she knows... _Itachi_!" he gave chase.

Kakashi had to admit, in all of his days of ANBU he had never had a stranger experience. Now he had to go stop a foolish genin from challenging some nuke-nin far beyond his league. The strangeness of Kiri rogues knowing anything about his students had shocked him so much he hadn't moved earlier.

Plus, they'd obviously meant no threat.

But... it didn't mean it was wise to let the last Uchiha follow after them.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"ANBU attempting to flank us, Koneko. Yours or mine?" Kisame asked as we hightailed it.

"Yours. Try to knock them out Kisame" I sighed.

"I guess you get to take care of Duck-butt then. The little emo is attempting to chase us" he snickered, moving off.

I debated on if I should let the Uchiha continue chasing us. He couldn't catch up, that much I knew. But he was stubborn. He might continue attempting to chase even after we were long gone.

I came to a stop to wait. Best to knock him out.

Perhaps poking him had been a _bit_ much.

Sasuke came leaping into view, a kunai in hand. "You... Itachi..." he was panting, having had to follow at top speed.

"Asking if I know your aniki? Of course. Tachi and I are friends. Or, I like to think we are. It's really hard to tell with you Uchihas if your friends with somebody, you know that?" I chirped.

"Where. Is. Itachi?" Sasuke snarled at me.

"Now? Not a clue. Somewhere probably helping the terrorist turn some other nuke-nin into art" I snickered at the mental image.

"Tell me!" Sasuke lunged. I side stepped. Yes, Uchihas are hax. But this little Uchiha had yet to grow into his haxing powers.

Note to self – key to defeating hax character is challenging them before they acquire hax abilities.

I mean, Sasuke didn't even have the normal Sharingan yet.

"Listen, Duck-butt. I know you're going all avenger and what-not right now, but you're being dumb" I informed, side stepping another lunge.

Sasuke just shot me a glare.

"Pfft. I get glared at by much scarier people than you" I grinned, thinking of the terrifying sight that was Kakuzu's glare. "But you really are being stupid".

Lunge. Dodge. Repeat.

"You're just a genin right now Duck-butt" I continued my lecture, attempting to look sage like as I did so "You _really _shouldn't be taking on S-class nuke-nin. Oh! And before I forget, don't trust people that look like snakes. It ends very badly".

Lunge. Dodge. Repeat once more.

"Alright, now I'm bored" I pouted "Sorry, Sasuke. Lights out". I flickered behind him, landing pretty much the exact same blow he'd used to knock out Sakura when he'd defected.

Cue one unconscious Uchiha.

"Gomen, Kakashi-san. You really should talk to him about anger issues and pride" I looked up at the just arriving copy-nin.

"I will, thank you kunoichi-san. But... I cannot let you leave so easily" Kakashi sighed, pulling out his orange Icha Icha.

"Ah, come on. He's just knocked out" I pouted. "And Kakashi-san... that any good?" I'd never read the Icha Icha series. But it was _Icha Icha_ the most famous book series in the Naruto universe.

I couldn't help my curiosity.

"Gomen, kunoichi-san. I cannot change the rules. And... I enjoy it. Perhaps you should try it some time?" cue lazy page-flip.

"I really don't want to fight you, Kakashi-san. You have any idea how epic you are?" I sulked "I mean technically this obeys the nuke-nin and self-defense only rule. But you're freaking _Kakashi_. Best sensei ever outside of Minato".

I sensed surprise coming off of him. Probably not expecting me to mention his old sensei and to call him epic.

"Ma, kunoichi-san. I don't think we'll be fighting" Kakashi answered "At least, not right now".

"Oh?" I tilted my head "I want to go, but you say you won't let me. How are we solving this without fighting? Unless you've changed your mind?"

"Iie. You're surrounded, kunoichi-san. It's in your best interest to surrender" he replied.

Several ANBU revealed themselves.

Jashin damn you sneaky copy-nin.

I pouted. I technically could get out of this with violence. But lives would be lost. And we had unfinished business with Konoha. We couldn't risk getting too antagonistic with them or else keeping an eye on the plot would become near impossible.

"I can see that" I sighed.

Damsel in distress? _Again_? _Seriously_? LAME Toki. You should be ashamed of yourself.

"Fine fine" I held up my hands. "You're lucky I like you Kakashi-san".

Kisame was going to be _pissed_.

* * *

**Omake – Kittens Pounce, Kisame POV**

_Just after splitting into partner pairs_

It had been some time since they'd been alone together.

Every time he turned around it seemed like one of the others was there lately.

It was really starting to grate on his nerves.

What he didn't realize was that it was getting to Koneko too.

They'd stopped for the night. The first night the two of them had had to themselves in what felt like forever.

He suddenly found Koneko exceedingly close to him.

She was wicked fast when she wanted to be.

It was a good thing she never triggered any of his shinobi reflexes.

He found himself being kissed, which he was all too happy to return.

It was unusual for Koneko to make the first move. So he throughly enjoyed it every time she did so.

In an instant he found himself pinned under her.

"My aren't we eager?" he teased her.

She gave him a smirk, moving to gently touch the gill marking on his face. "Maybe".

"I think I'll just lay here and look at the stars then" he enjoyed messing with her.

She got a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

Then she smirked, moving to lightly nip his throat.

_Snap_ went his control.

He reversed their situation in an eye-blink, switching so he was the one pinning her.

What little rationality he had left as he proceed to kiss her roughly made a mental note.

Never forget that even fuzzball kittens can pounce sometimes.

* * *

_Kisame will be most displeased with his Koneko. Toki, learn not to over-do your trolling!_

_Thank you all for your input on their look! As for the outfits, I did a mix and match (that way no one person got all the input ^^)__So, if you think something sounds somewhat similar to your suggestion, it probably is ;)_

_I hope you all have the same actually pretty epic looking mental image I have of their outfits._

_**Next time –**__ "__Sup Ibiki?"_

"_You're obnoxiously cheerful for someone detained by T&I"._

"_I fully intend to annoy you every second I'm here"._

_**Review Replies! **__(Holy Jashin I had to go all the way to page 5 to reply to you all o.o That's amazing!)_

_Arcami – I know. Itachi and Deidara would work surprisingly well together. Especially since there's no hate involved. And thank you for the suggestion! ^^_

_Rose – Thanks for the input! I'm glad I got so many of these as I have the design sense of a stick._

_Wayward – Hello again! And I have no life (plus procrastinating on homework. Shhh!) I adore Mangetsu too, thus why he got his butt saved. I'm glad I'm writing this group of psychos well. They're entertaining :3 And don't worry, the same here._

_Fear – Thank you very much! I highly doubt that I'm on par with Darkpetal's stuff, but I'm glad you think so ^^_

_Mak – Hehe, we;ll see about the jinchuuriki when we get later into the tale. Yugure is certainly going to be foiling Akatsuki plans left and right. And don't worry I like puns xD_

_Neko – My updates are sporadic ^^; I just sort of update when I have time_

_Starbell – Dei is best terrorist. And Toki troll Team 7 hard. But sort of overdoes it and it bites her in the butt. Thank Kyprioth. It was her suggestion/idea. I do take those from time to time. Thanks for the input on their new look! _

_Paul – Thank you! :3_

_Kakashi – Agreed. He's just asking to be mauled. I'm glad you liked it :D And maybe. A partner pair from Yugure will be lurking there, yes. But who knows whose watch it's going to be then ;P And they're certainly going to be there for the exams. Mustn'y let pedo-snake near Tachi's otouto._

_Cjhoax – Is... it that bad? ;~;_

_Razzella – Yep. Score ½ Artist duo!_

_Shanny – No such luck, but I hope you like this one instead xD_

_Nazebaka – I hope I fixed Toki o.o I refuse to let my own dang character go OOC. She's being sarcastic all over the place and trolling so much in this chapter. -fails-_

_Shiro – Most likely, yes. And poor poor Tachi indeed. He needs mental soap._

_Creepy – Thank you so much :D_

_Yvonna – Thanks for the look suggestion ^^_

_Phantom – I fully intend on doing so :3 Lollipop is simply recruiting other S-class shinobi. Though they are not nearly as epic as the original Akatski. So I'd say about a 7 in rage-o-meter._

_Ie-maru – Glad you enjoyed it ^^ Have an update._

_Shiori – Thank you ^^ I'm glad you like this! _

_Fire – I second that motion. -shudder-_

_Kasai – Thanks for the suggestion on the look :D I did a mix and match of suggestions :3_

_Blood – Here, have an update xD_

_Lady – I'm glad you like it. Even though Dei had me ending my thoughts in un the rest of the day. And poor poor Itachi. We should pity him. I hope you like what I decided on with the mix and match. Thank you for the suggestion for their look :)_

_Kitkat – I'm glad. That chapter was so fun to write. Eh, I know Lollipop has been getting other S-class people to fill the void, but I don't know what to do about them yet... And yes, Itachi is now Danna. The Uchiha is unsure if he finds this annoying or not. And the requirement of joining Yugure is developing at least some sense of humor or fun. Even miser-san has one! (kinda) _

_TheThird – I'm glad you found it funny ^^ It was a very fun chapter. I would so fangirl all over the terrorist. -blush- I... just joined you in that Pervy Sage moment. And Toki would refuse to touch his hair. Cause Dei without the hair would just be weird. And I have no idea who would be worthy of __**the **__Itachi Uchiha. I guess we'll have to wait and see. I've certainly never seen Itachi paired with Shizune before, but you make a valid point xD_

_Mistress – I have no life -.-; And who wouldn't fangirl all over the hand-mouths? Danzo went down, almost taking Koneko with him (bastard). Mangetsu is luck I grew to love his character. And indeed you'll see that later._

_Alumi – I like to think I do. But a chapter takes me several hours. Then after I post I'm reading it several times correcting errors. And don't feel bad! D:_

_Coco – Exactly. The terrorist isn't just good at bombs. Hand-mouths are the best. And maybe a small crush, but Dei is smart enough to know not to touch a claimed Koneko._

_Wonder – I don't honestly know to be honest. I might have it ending with Various Yugure members X ? so people can put who they want there and don't eat me. And it probably is. I might do that next Omake. Have Toki have a 'I'm surrounded by dudes' moment. And I have no idea about legth. The Chibi Arc was planned as the shortest with Shippuden being the longest. And the Chibi Arc was what? 18 chapters? Apparently I don't __**do **__short. You guys are taking the time to review, I feel I should return the favor ^^_

_Fan – Thank you very much :) And indeed I do believe that's a paradox. My versions of Team 7 – Naruto: loud, slightly obnoxious, good heart. Sakura: useless, bit whiny, very smart. Sasuke: egotistical, temperamental, protective of friends (though he won't admit it). Kakashi: slightly lazy, cunning, consistently thinking 'why am I surrounded by idiots?'_

_Eternal – Hehe, the Uchiha is not sure if he likes the title or not. And indeed, the terrorist meshes very well with the group :3 _

_Yami – I would pay to see something go katsu xD And I gave you a alone moment Omake, though not what you were thinking ;) Just a reminder that they are a couple. Jealous sharks are the best kind_

_Kyprioth – It breaks their minds. And indeed Duck-butt will have help. Though o proper Uchiha should have pink hair. _

_TheCloud – It would turn the entire world into true art, un. Thank you for the suggestion on their look! _

_Freedom – Thanks for the personalization suggestion :)_

_Candi – Thank you for the suggestion on their outfit! Have an update ^^_

_Inumaru – Hello new person! :D Here, I hope this update helps get rid of the pout! Thank you for enjoying my story ^^_

_Cara – Thanks for the suggestion on their appearance!_

_Marina – Thank you for the input! So many of these! Had to do a mix and match :3_

_Yuuki – Thanks for pointing that out. I went with gray ^^; , not reversible though..._

_Venezuela – I'm glad that you enjoy it! And sorry I disrupted your studying ._. Oops._

_White – I believe you may be right in that. Poor Itachi needs mental soap. And Itachi is outrageously hax now. He's got the highest chance of survival. He does indeed need the stress relief. And who knows about settling down. You'll have to see :P_

_Pierce – Glad you liked it! Poor poor Tachi. And I'm not particularly fond of it either myself, but poor_

_Tachi is just scarred for life. _

_Ariados – He wishes it. Oh how he wishes it. I highly doubt Kisame will ever be used to Toki's fangirling. Toki trolls a bit too much and gets caught (again). I have no idea about the Akatsuki honestly ._._

_Sofie – Thank you for your suggestion on their look! :D_

_Yona – 'awepic'? That is the best new word I've heard all day xDAnd good gosh that's early ._. I'm on EST so GST minus 5 hours. Typically anywhere from 8pm-1am here when I post. I'm glad you like my story :3_

_Chibi – Don't do it! D: It's alright! Mangetsu did have very little screen time. Dei gets all the fangirls. And yes, Itachi saw the yaoi fan pairings. He now wishes for mental soap._

_Guest – Thank you xD_

_Wolves – Indeed it is an interesting combination, but it works. Teme and Naru take starring roles, as they should xD_

_Eirdaru – Thank you for your input n their new look! ^^_

_Ceres – Scarred for life. And now we know how to defeat the hax Uchiha!_

_Argent – I highly doubt Tachi will call Dei brat. Tachi is unsure of his new title as well. Here, have an update :3_

_Ajisai – Oooh that does sound very interesting. Maybe I will ^^ Dei had me ending my thought in un the entire day after that chapter. Cat – It's okay -pats- It is ultimate hax indeed. I would not make miser-san a role model though. Bad idea ._. I'm glad Toki is still not a Mary-Sue! It's hard work keeping her from crossing that line x.x And don't worry about it. Any love is appreciated ^^_

_LadyLianna – Pity the poor Uchiha_

_Kuri – I'm glad you liked it! I probably should count the fangirling as a jutsu shouldn't I? :3_

_Shelby – Here, have some more then :P I'm glad I'm managing to be original! I wasn't sure I was. And yep. Saving the Akatsuki by making them Anti-Akatsuki xD_

_Peanut – It would be ironic. Very ironic_

_Okuto – Thank you! France huh? That's cool :3 I'm glad that my story is understandable then! I try ^^; And I personally do have such horrid luck that if I really did get reborn into Naruto I'd be the unlucky chick getting reborn into Kiri. I adore the Akatsuki as well. Too bad puppets are sticks in the mud. But, you'll be seeing him again later. Here, have an update :)_

_Deathless – Kakashi is sort of a given when Team 7 is involved xD_

_Girl – :)_

_Guest – Bossy, ne? Have an update :P_

_Red – I know. It's amazing. Never thought I'd get this much attention. Here, have an update :3_

_Kage – Glad you liked it! Poor poor Itachi..._


	30. Ibiki Doesn't Like Music

_Shorter chapter, but I got eaten by life_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto or any of the songs mentioned

_Beta Busy_

* * *

**Kisame POV**

As per Koneko's request, he'd stuck to knocking out the Leaf ANBU.

It had taken longer that way, but they'd seemed unsure about continuing their chase after realizing he wasn't killing anybody.

Made him want to roll his eyes at them.

Just cause he looked half-shark and was a nuke-nin didn't mean he wasn't capable of sparing people.

Once his task was done, he headed towards where Koneko should've encountered the Uchiha.

And found her gone.

His eyes narrowed.

Samehada twitched on his back.

Her chakra signature... trailed back towards the Leaf.

Why?

Several more chakras. ANBU by the feel of them.

She'd been caught.

He sighed.

Judging by the number Koneko had been perfectly capable of getting out of this with violence.

But she'd gone and done the dumb thing and let herself get caught to spare some Konoha lives.

Though this was partially his own fault.

Still.

They'd taken _**his**_ Koneko.

He felt his inner shark thrash in rage at them daring to touch her.

Now throughly furious, he rerouted back to Konoha,

Had to go save his kitten stuck in the tree.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"You all could really use some color in here" I commented as ANBU led me down into the depths of Konoha's T&I department. "It's rather dull with all this gray".

Unsurprisingly, the ANBU didn't respond, though I sensed my comments were unappreciated.

The ANBU deposited me in a room, tying me to a chair with chakra binds.

"Kinky".

More silence.

Jashin, these guys had no sense of humor.

I sat there for awhile, getting progressively more bored with each passing moment.

Wonder who's first? Ibiki or Inoichi?

_Creeeeeak. _The familiar bandanna wearing man walked in.

"Sup Ibiki?" I greeted grinning. I was glad to see him. Having my mind invaded would probably not end well.

"You're obnoxiously cheerful for someone detained by T&I" he glared at me. "How'd you know my name?"

"I fully intend to annoy you every second I'm here" I chirped then winked "And a girl has her ways".

"We'll try this the easy way first" Ibiki glared harder, yanking a chair over to sit opposite me. "I ask you questions. You answer. I get my info and you get out of a lot of pain. Everybody wins".

"Hn" I gave by best impression of an Uchiha stare. Not sure I managed it quite right.

Ibiki was unphased.

Damn.

"Tell me about yourself" he ordered.

I smirked. New mission get! Troll Ibiki with music.

"Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air" I rapped, thinking B would've burst out laughing at me.

"There is no such place" Ibiki was unamused.

I just grinned wider.

"You should be more afraid" my interrogator scowled at me.

"Oh mama, I'm in fear from my life from the long arm of the law. Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home. Oh mama I can hear you a crying you're so scared and all alone. Hangman is coming down from the gallows and I don't have very long" I sang back.

His scowl deepened.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

He scoffed slightly as he made his way through Konoha unseen.

Koneko sometimes claimed he'd been the one to inherit Akira-san's ability to defy logic and not her.

He supposed she had a point.

After all, he was a large blue man-shark making his way through a Hidden Village full of Shinobi undetected.

He eyed the ANBU building.

Had to somehow get inside that and make his way down.

That's where Samehada felt Koneko's chakra coming from.

A few moments of consideration before he moved again.

He'd knock out any unfortunates that got in his way.

Rub it in Konoha's face that a nuke-nin had gotten in, retrieved his partner, and gotten out without killing anyobdy.

It'd break their soft Leaf-nin minds.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"That haori you're wearing. It has the kanji for cat on it. Why?"

"Cat, I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance" I chimed.

I sensed Ibiki's irritation rising further.

I was honestly surprised he'd stuck with this for so long. Must be a required amount of 'peaceful' question time required in Konoha interrogations or something.

"There is no dancing involved here" he growled.

"We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance well they're no friends of mine" coming up with all these song responses was difficult.

I wondered how B managed to consistently talk in rhyming rap.

Ibiki was bordering on pure rage now.

"What of the kanji on your back? Yūgure" he snapped.

"Rebel souls. Deserters we are called. Chose a gun and threw away the sun. Now these towns, they all know our name. Six-gun sound is our claim to fame. I can hear them say: Bad company, and I won't deny. Bad bad company until the day I die" I smirked.

"I'm warning you, girl, that you're on the edge of my patience" he was practically shaking he was so angry.

"My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend. I think I slit my wrist again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone" I just continued singing.

"You are very lucky or unlucky. Inoichi is away"

"She's up all night 'til the sun. I'm up all night to get some. She's up all night to get some. I'm up all night to get lucky".

"Which means you'll have to deal with just me".

"Well well well, what have we here? Santy Claws huh? Ooh I'm really scared" I rolled my eyes.

"You should be".

* * *

**Kisame POV**

He'd successfully found where they'd stashed Koneko's weapons and had retrieved them.

Now all that remained was Koneko herself.

He follow Samehada's lead, moving swiftly and silently, knocking one ANBU after another unconscious as he traveled.

He was getting close to his goal.

She had better not be hurt.

He wasn't sure that he could contain himself from killing the interrogating bastard if she was.

No screams were to be heard.

That was a good sign at least.

Then again...

Koneko had a high pain tolerance...

And he hadn't so much as seen her cry since that fire that claimed her family...

He increased his speed, having succeeded in simply making himself more worried about her.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"We'll start with the lowest levels of pain and work our way up shall we?"

"Don't you disrespect me little man! Don't you derogate or deride! You're in my world now, not your world. And I've got friends on the other side!" I sang back.

Ibiki cracked his knuckles, approaching me menacingly.

I saw a flicker of blue.

"I wouldn't if I were you. Hitting me is not in your best interest" I informed, deciding to drop the songs to attempt keeping Ibiki from getting hurt _too _badly.

Mission – Troll Ibiki with music.

Status? Considered success due to having done so until last possible moment.

"So the thought of pain makes you talk? Let's see how you like this then" Ibiki land a nice punch to my face.

Jashin damn! That man had a nasty right-hook.

"I warned you" I simply sighed at him.

_CRASH!_

The door was practically thrown off its hinges into the wall as a bloodthirsty Kisame strolled in, bristling Samehada in his hand.

"What the-?!" Ibiki whirled to attempt fighting the Shark.

"Kisame. No killing. We can't afford the repercussions" though in my current position I couldn't stop the enraged Shark from murdering Ibiki if Kisame chose not to listen to me.

Ibiki attacked, getting himself hit by the flat side of Samehada. That would bruise. And take away chakra.

"My chakra..." the interrogator gasped in shock at the sudden loss.

_Whack! _Kisame hit Ibiki's head with Samehada's hilt. Knocking him to the ground.

The Shark was clearly unsatisfied with this, eying the downed Ibiki like he was considering how best to cut the man into pieces.

Growling in annoyance, Kisame finally knelt, getting keys from the head interrogator to step over him and start letting me loose.

He offered me my retrieved weapons, still growling, having never taken his eyes off Ibiki.

"Come on, let's get out of here"I gently touched the Shark's arm, knowing we'd have ANBU on us in a moment if they suspected any chaos.

Snarling the whole way, Kisame started to lead me out the way he'd come in.

* * *

"Don't you ever do that ever again" Kisame snarled at me once we were free of the Leaf.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't risk killing them" I apologized.

"I don't give a damn! They hurt you Koneko" a gesture to my bruised face.

"I know, Kisame. But it's superficial at best. And besides that headache you gave Ibiki will be much worse" I attempted calming him.

"Will you listen to me, Toki?!" Kisame stepped towards me, looking menacingly angry, teeth bared in a snarl. "You were detained! By T&I! You have any idea what they could have done to you?!"

"Yes, I know. I have an idea" I answered "But you got me out before any of that happened".

"And what if I hadn't?!" he growled "You could broken in more ways than one from the kinds of things they do in those places!"

"Kisame, I'm fine. I stood up to them, didn't give them anything" I returned.

"And that just makes it worse!" the Shark snarled "They do worse things to people who won't talk!"

"Are you saying I should've given them info on us?"

"NO!"

"Then what would you have me do, Kisame?"

He bared his teeth in another snarl. "I don't know!" Kisame turned "Leave me be, Toki" he snapped over his shoulder.

I blinked at him in utter shock, watching him start walking away.

* * *

**Kisame POV**

They were normally a peaceful couple.

Sure Koneko hissed.

Sure he got snarly from time to time.

Yes, they disagreed on certain things.

All of this could usually be worked around with ease, giving them a stability many couples would envy.

A fight, a true fight was rare.

And that... was what had just happened.

There were several factors explaining his outburst.

His Shark was displeased at leaving that _bastard_ alive.

His adrenaline was still high after sneaking in and out of an ANBU base.

Seeing Koneko hurt had set him on edge.

The fact she'd done this to herself made him irritated with her.

The fact she was so damn calm about it made him finally snap.

It didn't matter who was wrong or right in these situations.

Their rare fights never failed to make him feel like the lowest rat bastard shark in existence.

* * *

**Some time later that night – Normal POV**

I watched the surrounding forest for any signs of pursuit. So far, we weren't being followed.

I suppose we were lucky.

I felt a familiar presence join me.

"Kisame... I'm sorry" I offered, quietly. "I'll be more careful".

I felt the Shark come to maneuver himself so he was sitting behind me. Then an arm went to tug me into his lap.

"No. I'm sorry, Koneko" he replied "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that".

"You were right in what you were saying"

"So were you".

I laughed half-heartedly "Guess this is one of those situations where we were both wrong".

"We're just humans, Koneko" I felt Kisame give a weak grin "Being wrong is part of the job description".

"I guess you're right" I agreed.

There was a quiet pause as we both watched the forest.

"You never healed your eye" he murmured after awhile

"I forgot about it" I admitted.

One of Kisame's hands lifted towards my face. The distinct green of healing chakra coming to his hand. After a moment, I felt my bruise vanish.

"Didn't know you knew medical ninjutsu" I stated, mildly surprised.

"I don't" Kisame gave a slight chuckle. "Fortunately, I know a Koneko who fills these chakra stones I wear with her chakra for me. And she does know medical ninjutsu".

"I guess that means I should refill them for you then" I started to turn, but he caught me, holding me in my current position.

"Later Koneko. For now... let's just simply sit" his hold tightened on me somewhat. As if afraid I was going to leave.

"And watch for ANBU" I reminded dryly, relaxing into his hold to show I wasn't going anywhere.

"That too".

* * *

_Kisame and Toki are just people too. They have fights like any other couple_

_Can you name all the songs Toki sang? :P No Google allowed_

_**Next time –**__ "__You know what we need? A base of operations"_

_**Review Replies! **__( a tad short but it's 2am -.-;)_

_Shanny – He was not amused._

_Arcami – By singing the entire time xD_

_Shelby – Thank you! I'm glad you like this :)_

_Fan – Nope. Toki escapes, mind unread. She got lucky_

_White – Not quite yet. Was sort've busy trolling Ibiki to fangirl. And she so might do that to somebody. Dunno who though._

_Creepy – Here's an update then ^^_

_Marina – Glad you like them :3 And indeed we see the stess get to the Shark a bit. Not the hair! D: And who knows about getting a copy of that book xD_

_Nazebaka – Sucess! I make you happy :) Yay fangirl squeals! Duck-butt had a major freak out. And pfft. Without haxing abilities defeat hax characters becomes easy. As for my favorite anime... hmm... A three way tie between Bleach, Helling (the one that follows the manga), and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood_

_Dimensional – Thank you! Welcome back from camp ^^_

_Lady – I got so many suggestions, I wanted to show my appreciation somehow ^^; Trolling Duck butt is the best. And yay for singing the entire interrogation!_

_Shiro – No such luck. Toki had other methos to anooy Ibiki. Answer everything in songs he doesn't know! And Duck butt is now an honorary hissing cat xD_

_Yuuki – Trolled so hard. And no reunion yet. In a bit though ;) And probably yes._

_Ethorin (x2) – Hand-mouths are the best. I have no earthly idea and the Susano'o and Kamui. And cause Sharingan that's why. Chibi duck-butt makes me laugh xD_

_Blood – Indeed it was a flashback Omake_

_Cat – Maybe, but no Kurenai just yet. Naruto is the definition of adorable x3 And Duck butt likes to be an avenger. Hope you like wht I came up with to annoy him xD_

_Kakashi – She escaped, luckily. And Kishi does indeed have a death wish. And good gosh that complicated. I apologize for any confusion o.o_

_Watching – Hello! :) Thank you very much for the compliment. It means a lot to hear things like that. Yes, Toki or Koneko are both acceptable thought our resident Shark doesn't enjoy anyone else calling her Koneko aside from himself xD I do try to write Toki like as if someone was truly having to react to ths current situation. What would a real person do? I don't always succeed, but that's my method ^^; I'm glad you like them together! (though I'd join you in running for the hills). And Toki is unamused with herself for falling for that trick. Plus, she's S-rank not invincible. There's always someone stronger/smarter in life. Sasori is a stick in the mud for not joining. As for his death... well you'll see once we hit Shippuden :P Alas, only Ibiki is trolled. But hopefully that's entertaining. Thank you again! I have no idea where you got that ship from o.o _

_Kasai – Thank you very much ^^ Kisame is most unamused. And I did it to both show trolling and to show that Kisame and Toki are normal people. They have couple issues too._

_Sofie – Have an update :P_

_Coco – Kisame is a very unhappy shark. Do you read minds? Duck butt is the ultimate emo. Kakashi is too smart for Koneko (which annoys her greatly). Have any update :3_

_Ajisai – She honestly doesn't know where Itachi is at that point in time. Somewhere with the artist, un. And that's basically what happens, yes. The haori look better in my mind... -sulks-_

_Kyprioth – Ibiki does not get paid nearly enough. And stealing the bandanna is instant death. You shouldn't do it._

_Shadow – Yes, she is. But you won't see that till Shippuden_

_Girl – Glad you liked it :)_

_Yami – Thank you ^^ Toki trolls Ibiki so hard it's hilarious xD Plus raging Sharks are never a good thing. Toki escapes Inoichi, barely. She got luck basically. Kisame is most unhappy. _

_Arcaelia – No such luck for them :P And don't worry about it, I completely understand ^^_

_Manami – Thank you! :) Hidan is rather funny, he makes me laugh as I write. I now have that mental image stuck in my head xD_

_Guest – Thanks! And here's an update!_

_Ariados – They get trolled by her singing actually. Feel very sorry for Ibiki._

_Argent – Well, not my fault canon takes so long to start xD Toki vs Ibiki, Toki wins. Glad you like the outfits!_

_Music – She gave up because they can't start too much crap with Konoha. Kisame gets her out though._

_Deathless – Of course. Kakashi is a genius. And just wait and see ^^_

_Ceres – Indeed xD_

_Random – Thank you very much :3 Have an update_

_TheThird – Glad you like them! No Anko just yet. Just trolling Ibiki xD_

_Dawn – Thought it best to remind you all they are a couple. And Kakashi is too smart. There is no beating Duck butt emo levels_

_Dee – Hello! :) Oro-snake is Akatsuki but will defect anyways for some reason or another. And maybe/maybe not. You'll see when we get to Shippuden :3 _

_Wolves – Naru steals the show :P Ibiki does not get paid nearly enough for his job._

_Kitkat – She doesn't really learn her lesson though xD Duck butt is very frustrated. Glad you like their look ^^ Kisame is most unamused._

_Mars – Not for some time. You;ll be seeing more of Lollipop in Shippuden. Though we have a certain plant making an appearance in the near-ish future._

_Chibi – Yep. Mental soap. Ibiki needs a raise. Duck butt is irrational when it comes to anything that reminds him of Itachi. And indeed it is his fault xD_

_Mizu – Not dropped at all! Here, have a slightly late update ^^;_

_Shadowelf – Ibiki is indeed going to have a killer headache._


	31. Real Organizations Have Bases

_Early update to apologize for my later one ^^;_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_Beta busy_

* * *

**Konoha – Hiruzen POV**

"I seem to have misheard you Ibiki. The nuke-nin you had captured not only manged to escape with help from _another _nuke-nin but she _sang_ to you the entire questioning session?" During all his years as Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi had never heard a story like this before.

"Hai, Hokage-sama" Ibiki was still nursing the nasty lump he'd gotten on his head from the shark-nin rescuer. "She only dropped the singing to warn me not to strike her. I assume she must've noticed her friend coming for her".

"Did we get _anything_ from these two?" he couldn't help his sigh.

"Based on some sensor ANBU's memory we have reason to believe these two were part of the group that took down Danzō. Their chakras match some of the residual signatures that were found at the scene" Ibiki answered.

Sarutobi found himself closing his eyes in an exasperated expression.

"I am aware that I ordered Konoha sinobi to be easy with this group of nuke-nin. We do owe them. But allow them in and out of our Village like that is ridiculous" he grumbled "How many, Ibiki?"

"How many what Hokage-sama?"

"How may lives did they take?"

"... None, Hokage-sama".

Sarutobi's eyes snapped open.

These nuke-nin had taken down someone who would've ruined Konoha from the inside out. Now even when captured, they refrained from killing when able.

This was getting more and more interesting.

"Based on the kaji on the haori both nuke-nin were wearing, they are most likely a group. Numbers unknown. The kanji on the kunoichi's back read Yūgure. We think this is what they are calling themselves. The front kanji read cat, possibly a reference to rank, though I do not understand it. Her rescuer's read shark" Ibiki informed.

"Yūgure" he mused "This must be somehow relating to the rumors of the Akatsuki. Possibly a counter organization".

Meaning these nuke-nins were probably as close to being friendly as nuke-nins got.

He couldn't help rubbing his eyes attempting to relieve his headache.

Friendly nuke-nins... the very idea...

These years were providing a lot of change.

"The ANBU will drill, we cannot allow a repeat of this incident" he ordered.

"Hai, Hokage-sama" his interrogator made to leave.

"And Ibiki..."

"Hokage-sama?"

"Next time a nuke-nin drops their deliberate annoyance to warn you of something... you may wish to listen".

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Hello miser-san. On time as usual. Where's Hidan?" I greeted Kakuzu as Yūgure started to gather for our usual 'make sure everyone's alive' meeting.

"The whelp was being slow" Kakuzu glared in the direction he must've left Hidan in. One does not slow the miser down from receiving his money.

"Oi! Damn old man! You could've waited five fucking seconds" our zealot arrived a moment later, glaring at Kakuzu.

"So good to see our Zombie combo hasn't changed" Kisame snickered.

"They're the Zombie combo. Do you honestly _expect_ change?" I grinned at him.

"No, not really" the Shark continued his snickering.

"Fucking glad that you find us so damn funny" Hidan scowled.

"Oh cheer up Hidan" I smiled "We tease you cause we like you. Even miser-san understands that, right Kakuzu?"

I got the silent intimidating stare in response.

"Miser-san you know full well I've grown immune to the stare" I drawled back at him.

"It seems so" he admitted with a slight sigh.

There was a shadow as a large clay bird came in for a landing. Deidara and Itachi had arrived.

"Tachi! Dei! Hi!" I waved.

"Missed us, un?" Deidara grinned as he slid off his bird.

"Kisame. Toki. Kakuzu. Hidan" Itachi greeted us one by one with a nod.

"Itachi-san, your Village is a pain in the ass" Kisame informed him "Your otouto is a rash idiot. Then his sensei has the gall to capture Koneko and get her dragged into T&I".

Itachi blinked, typical Uchiha gesture of surprise. "Are you alright?" the question directed towards me, though I'm sure he was just as curious about our meeting with Sasuke.

"I'm perfectly fine. Gave them absolutely nothing" I promised "I actually sang the entire time just to annoy the hell out of Ibiki".

Hidan started laughing "Now there's why I fucking like you".

"A brave move" Kakuzu commented.

"Be more careful, hmm" Deidara added "Don't need one of our leaders captured, yeah".

"Don't worry, Kisame already gave me my lecture" I informed "As for Sasuke, cause I know you're wanting to know Tachi, the Duck butt is fine".

"Hot headed moron is more like it" Kisame laughed "He thought it a good idea to challenge S-rank nuke-nins for information on you while he has yet to even get the Sharingan".

"I can now officially claim I beat a hax character. But I don't suppose it really counts" I pouted "And before you get angry Tachi, I only knocked Duck butt out to keep him from continuing to attempt chasing after us".

Itachi gave an audible sigh of exasperation. "Foolish otouto" he muttered.

"Konoha will still be looking for you then, yeah?" Deidara questioned.

"Most likely" I admitted. "And meeting like this in the open is going to attract attention eventually... You know what we need? A base of operations. That way when we meet up to make sure everyone's alive we have less risk of attracting unwanted attention".

"We may have a fucking solution then" Hidan offered.

Everybody but Kakuzu stared at him in shock.

"A small town has heard enough about us to attempt contracting our services" the miser continued.

"What would we be doing?" Kisame questioned.

"Fucking killing their rat bastard of a damn leader" Hidan answered with a scoff "According to them, the asshole over fucking taxes them into damn poverty and holds fucking hostages to ensure he gets his shitty money".

"Is there proof?" Itachi, like myself, was not wanting to kill unnecessarily.

"Yes" Kakuzu produced papers. Documentation he'd most likely stolen from the source.

Kisame took them and the rest of us looked them over.

Wow, this guy really was the ass the village was claiming him to be.

"How does this help us get a base, yeah?" Deidara was the next to question this offer.

"They are fucking poor. They won't be able to pay a damn cent" surprisingly Hidan produced a map of the place.

Amazing that Kakuzu let him carry anything.

The zealot turned it to us pointing at a spot in the town. "The fucker has some sort of damn hideout here, in case he needs to run like the shit coward he is".

"Instead of money, we can request this as payment" Kakuzu finished.

"This sounds almost too good to be true" I mused. "We sure this isn't a trap?"

"Positive. We broke into the place to check it" the miser informed.

"It'll need fucking work to be a good base, but it's not shit. And it'll be better than meeting in the damn open like this" the zealot seconded.

The remaining four of us looked at each other.

"Well, un?" our artist asked "I say we do it, yeah, since this guy fits into the secondary category of rat-bastard".

He was right. Nuke-nins, bandits, self defense, and complete rat-bastards only _were _Yūgure's regulations.

"If Kakuzu and Hidan are sure of the validity, we should take the offer. We're right in thinking that open meetings like this will not be safe forever" Itachi offered his opinion.

"I'm thinking I agree with them, Koneko. One of these days we're going to have ANBU on our tail and need somewhere to vanish to" Kisame pointed out.

"Yeah, I agree too" I nodded "We've been lucky. But since we're challenging Lollipop, our luck will run out eventually".

"It's settled then. Alright, miser-san and zealot. Lead the way. Let's go take out a rat-bastard and claim our base" the Shark gave his typical feral smirk.

Kakuzu nodded, pulling the Zombie combo's clay bird out of his pocket. "It is a distance away. These will be needed" he made the hand sign that enlarged the bird for travel.

"Your birds make life so much easier, Dei" I laughed as Kisame retrieved ours.

"Glad to help, un".

* * *

**3****rd ****Person POV**

It was a normal day in the forced poverty of the Land of Cherry Blossoms, located to the north of Fire Country.

This town had once been a proud flourishing one, even considering converting into a shinobi Hidden Village.

They had specialized in agriculture, fertile soil producing all sorts of spices that most other places had problems growing. And, as per the name, there were cherry trees _everywhere_. In spring, when the trees bloomed the entire town would be covered in a solid layer of pink petals.

A pretty place, one tourists had flocked to.

Until their new daimyo had skyrocketed their taxes to feed his incessant greed.

Now, everything was too expensive. Very few people still lived here in what was now almost a ghost town.

The ragged citizens and daimyo had no reason to suspect that just a few miles away three clay bird carrying S-rank nuke-nin were landing.

They would've been very surprised to see the three clay birds shrink in size, each one going to a different pair.

They had fewer reasons to suspect that two of the six had been here before and that the elders of the town were praying for a positive answer to a request made to the tall masked shinobi and silver-haired scythe wielder walking beside him.

The elders blinked in surprise as not only had the shinobi duo of before had returned but four others had joined them.

"Yūgure has decided to accept your request" the masked one spoke.

"Thank you!" one elder replied.

"We have no way of paying you though" the other admitted sadly.

"We don't fucking want you damn money" the scythe-user informed them "We want different shit. Your fucking daimyo has a hideout here. We're taking that from the bastard as our payment".

"We also wish for you to both turn a blind eye to our continued presence here after this job" the masked one continued "And for you to deny that we even exist at all".

"Of course!" both elders answered at once. They would be glad to host Yūgure in their town if it meant getting rid of the daimyo.

"Let's get to work then" these were the first words out of the large shark-man's mouth "This guy won't kill himself".

* * *

**Normal POV**

The civilian daimyo would've had no chance against Kakuzu and Hidan alone, even with all his guards.

He'd had no hope against all of us at once.

Itachi had put the guards under a mass genjutsu, stopping them from interfering.

Then we'd just let our local zealot sacrifice the bastard as we started raiding the daimyo's stuff. The people of Cherry Blossom country would find gifts of both piles of money and expensive items to sell at their homes.

We weren't about to lose our hideout by having it turn into a ghost town.

It spoke volumes that, once released from the genjutsu and informed of the daimyo's death, the guards weren't very upset. Most were from the town, only working here to try to feed their families.

They got gifts of the daimyo's stuff as well.

Hidan showed us to the hideout while Kakuzu would take an inventory of whatever was left. Stuff we could claim to help make our new base comfortable, plus a decent amount of money he'd claimed as further 'pay' for the mission since giving most of it away went against the miser's nature.

"Here it fucking is" Hidan pointed.

"Hidan, un... that's a cherry tree" Deidara pointed out "And I don't see any genjutsu around it, yeah. Dana has trained me in identifying genjutsu".

"Fucking transy bitch. Watch this shit" Hidan made some hand seals before touching the tree. "Found the damn sequence in the daimyo's fucking notes".

We felt the ground shake slightly.

The soil behind the tree acquired a line as the ground sunk. Then the two halves slid back revealing a staircase going down.

Kisame whistled. "Fancy".

We all went down the stairs, lights allowing us to see, though it was still on the dark side.

Had to give the daimyo credit. This place was large. And cleverly made, plenty of room for the six of us, plus necessities like bathrooms and a kitchen.

It was dirty. And had very little furniture being a seldom used hideout.

We would need to clean, and to make this an acceptable living space. Plus more light. But... it could work.

"You still have that paper with the sequence?" Kisame asked.

"Fucking destroyed all copies of it after finding it. But the damn old man and I can teach you the signs. We wanted to be fucking sure no one else could get into this shit" Hidan answered.

Kisame smirked back. "Good".

* * *

"Tachi, Dei. It's your turn to watch Konoha" I reminded after we finished fixing up the place as best we could for now.

We all had bedrooms and a decently stocked kitchen. It was good enough for the time being.

"We remember, un" Deidara nodded.

"Be careful. No getting captured" Kisame added, giving me a glance.

"I said I was sorry already" I pouted at him.

"They will not know that we're there" Itachi promised.

"As sad as it is, no art Dei. Not unless it's really needed. Your art, while amazing, gets too much attention" I continued.

"I know, I know, yeah. I promise I'll behave, un" Deidara grinned "Danna would kill me if I didn't".

Itachi glanced at his partner. "I would not. But I would not be happy either".

"Making an Uchiha angry is a death wish, un" Deidara countered.

"Good thing that's our fucking goal then" Hidan snickered.

"Our opponent will surely notice us eventually" Kakuzu agreed.

"We'll continue as we are now" Kisame decided. "I bet that Lollipop will come to us before we go to him".

"Don't trust anyone looking like a plant. Which reminds me, we should should get some seals to fortify this place against Zetsu's spying" I glanced at the walls.

"You and I can do that before bounty hunting Koneko. Once we're done, that plant won't be able to even come close without our spoken permission" the Shark snickered.

* * *

**Omake – A Friendship of Mutual Hatred, Hidan POV**

He glared at the damn stitch-face that was his fucking partner for the Jashin-knows how many-eth time.

He really hated that miser bastard.

Good thing he knew it was a mutual emotion.

Though, if he was fucking honest with himself, he would admit they did get along some of the damn time.

And they brought sheer slaughter to pussy heathens when they fought together.

"Keep up, whelp" came the snapping reminder. "We're going to be late for the meeting. You're keeping me from my money".

Always about the damn money with him.

But, he was honestly fucking used to that by now.

Just as the damn stitch-face had finally stopped fucking complaining about his rituals to Jashin-sama.

Oh, the bastard still grouched about how they were damn slow or some shit.

But... it wasn't nearly as fucking bad as in the beginning.

He also knew that, despite being near damn impossible to fucking take down, they watched each other's backs.

Was it possible to be friends with someone you fucking hate?

"Fine. I'll just leave you here then".

He supposed stranger damn things happen.

"I'm coming, old bastard. Keep your damn hair on".

* * *

_For those of you curious and who haven't used Google yet here's the songs from last chapter:_

_1) Fresh Prince Intro – Will Smith_

_2) Renegade – Styx_

_3) The Kitty Cat Dance – Youtube_

_4) Safety Dance – Men Without Hats_

_5) Bad Company – Bad Company_

_6) Bullet – Hollywood Undead_

_7) Get Lucky – Daft Punk_

_8) Oogie Boogie's Song – Nightmare Before Christmas_

_9) Friends on the Other Side – Disney's Princess and the Frog_

_Youtube these if you wish to get the full effect of Toki's trolling xD_

_If you really want a specific location for where I'm putting this imaginary place their base is in, go find the map of the Naruto world. There's a small country above Konoha where nothing's in it beside the mountain graveyard. That's where this is._

_**Next time –**__ "__It appears Team 7 is finally leaving for their C-rank"_

"_I'll send a bird, un"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Wolves – Oh well, here's the list for you ^^ Making up is always a good thing. Poor Ibiki, I pity him._

_Candi – Toki's trolling of Ibiki was meant to get a laugh xD Shark and Kitten are a peaceful couple, but they have their moments since they're only human. Have an update!_

_Nazebaka – I know, I was so proud of myself when I thought of that line. And I have no idea, it just sort of happens ._. Not an Omake, but you do get to see some of the reaction with him and the Hokage at the beginning. None of them? D: I tried doing a good variety so people would be able to get at least one. Drat._

_Ariados – Yep. It would've totally screwed things over. Thus, why Inoichi was away at the time ^^; This is why you shouldn't capture Koneko. You'll only get annoyed for your efforts._

_Kakashi – I see. That would get very confusing, I admit. I hope that I can try to keep things from getting too confusing... I speak exceedingly little Japanese, thus why you only see snippets of it here and there. Help would be appreciated as I want to be sure what little I do use is correct ^^; Indeed, I am on EST, living on the east coat. Not much snow where I live though. Sad :(_

_Blood – Glad you recognized one :) Reading Koneko's mind is not in one's best interest_

_Chibi – B would be very proud indeed. I have mind reading reviewers. I'm not sure what to make of this. And here's a list for you ^^_

_Azura – That one was actually a tad late... ^^; but glad you liked it!_

_Sofie – Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it :)_

_When – Now that's a mental image that is both funny and disturbing. But yeah, I don't think T&I would get anywhere with a masochist. Like Hidan. They'd just make him happy._

_Drago – Maybe... -shifty eyes-_

_Bloody – This one actually comes mostly free. They just have to kill somebody, which is honestly not that difficult for all six of them at once._

_Yuuki – I thought you all would enjoy that. And yeah, they've been meeting in the open for some time. They're luck would run out eventually._

_Kage – Pity poor Ibiki. Glad you liked them ^^_

_Manami – No a big one, but a fight nonetheless. Toki and Anko should probably be kept separated as they would both try to out troll the other xD And you'll be seeing soon ;) Yay cookie!_

_Pierce – Considering her situation, that was very dark humor too. 'Imma sing to the guy about to cause me a world of hurt'. Yep. Toki needs her sanity checked. I have no idea how Ibiki lasted that long either ._. Sharks are very territorial creatures, so I though it best Kisame was a highly possessive person :3 Toki does have a penchant for getting herself hurt. It's a wonder Kisame hasn't put her in a bubble for safe keeping. Have an update :)_

_Ceres – Glad you liked that x3 And yes, indeed she would_

_Mmagic – Sorry! Was a mishap in correcting errors._

_Radiant – Still sorry about that ^^;_

_Uncertain – Thank you! :3_

_Little – Glad you liked it!_

_Shanny – Nope. Underground behind a cherry tree. Ain't nobody got time for finding that xD_

_Ajisai – She really should learn her lesson on trolling. And I know, it's amazing o.o Tobito will not be please at all. A certain plant will be showing up soon-ish. And maaaaybe you'll have to see :P You'll be seeing the youthfullness! I promise! :3_

_Cat – I am too. And here's a list. Yep, they fight and then they apologize for it. Gasp! The sense it makes! And indeed good thing Inoichi was away._

_Anime – Glad you enjoyed it ^^ I'm happy that my story makes you smile_

_Ie-maru – Thank you! :D_

_TheThird – Ibiki needs a raise. And the Hokage is most displease and highly confused by this entire situation. _

_Coco – Poor Shark. His Koneko causes so much stress. And Toki is a born troll. Yay cupcake! -noms-_

_Shadow – Drat. Only two? Phooey. Oh well, it's something xD _

_Momma – Hehe glad you like it ^^ I have a fan girl? Yay! Can girls have fan girls? Does that make sense? o.o I'm happy anyway_

_Rose – You actually did get most of them. You only missed one! As such, is there something you'd like to see? i.e. fluff, Hidan doing dumb things, Dei making something go katsu, etc? It might just appear as an Omake ;) Nobody died, so no Bohemian Rhapsody_

_Kyprioth – You see that somewhat at the beginning here xD Poor Hidan was neglected Omake-wise so he got this one. You'll be seeing Team 7's thoughts on her and the others soon enough :P _

_Fan – Glad you like it ^^_


	32. Wave Disruption

_I'm procrastinating on math homework. I hope you all are happy :P_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_Beta busy_

* * *

**Deidara POV**

Bored.

So. Very. Bored.

He couldn't even create art to relieve his boredom.

Why why _why _was Konoha so damn peaceful?!

It was driving him insane with having nothing to do!

In fact, this happened every time it was their turn to watch the Leaf.

He tried being optimistic, he really did.

After all, according to Toki, Team 7 should be leaving on their chaos filled C-rank anytime now.

But so far, there had been absolutely nothing!

Nothing!

Then... there was his partner, who was perfectly content with the peace, watching Konoha with passively black eyes.

He liked his partner well enough, was even disappointed in his alternate self for hating the man.

Danna's illusions were true art, fleeting things that did massive damage.

Still... sometimes, they really got on his nerves.

Danna's genjutsu kept ANBU from seeing them so there wasn't even that slim chance of relief from this utter boredom.

"If something doesn't happen soon, yeah, I'm going to go stir crazy, un" he informed his quiet companion.

"Perhaps you'll be entertained by the genins coming up the road?" Danna offered.

He could swear the Uchiha was smirking.

Danna's humor was unpredictable. So, he found himself exceedingly cautious about turning to watch what his partner had indicated.

"YOSH! Another youthful mission completed successfully! Well done my most youthful students! Lee, your fires burn especially bright!" the teacher's yelling could be easily heard from here.

"Isn't that-?" he grimaced at the green spandex.

"Might Guy and his genins. Team 9, yes" he was almost positive he heard amusement in Danna's words.

"Didn't Kisame meet that guy before, hmm?"

"Yes. They took their chuunin exams together".

"Guy-sensei! We should run one thousand laps around Konoha to celebrate! And, if we cannot, then we should run three thousand laps as punishment!" this genin looked like a mini-Guy. Spandex and all.

He felt himself twitch, wanting to turn those horrid outfits into true art.

"Indeed my most youthful student Lee! We should!" and the two started racing for Konoha.

The remaining two students looked at each other.

Then the kunoichi sighed in an annoyed way that said these two had seen this scene too many times.

Her other male companion had a poker face to rival Danna's.

These two then followed after the two green blurs at a more reasonable pace.

"That... was horrifying, yeah" he said after the team was gone. "I now see why boss-shark shudders every time someone mentions him, un".

"Indeed".

He must be going insane from sitting still so long. It almost sounded like Danna was laughing softly.

* * *

**Itachi POV**

The members of Yūgure were always shocked when he showed his capacity for humor.

Admittedly, this was his own fault since he usually was so serious and quiet.

Unlike his current companion.

Deidara was obviously bored out of his mind, quite possibly mere moments from starting to bang his head against the tree where they sat in order to be doing _something_.

He did not have such issues watching his Village like this.

Though, he did admit that the only interesting thing they'd seen on their watch had been Team 9.

It'd been a full week since then.

He'd been quite certain this too would be just another day of watching civilian and shinobi alike go about their lives in the Leaf.

There was movement at the gate. Even his normal eyes could spot the the flicker of orange from here.

"Let's go!" came a very familiar voice.

The world came into sharp focus as his Sharingan activated.

Now, the people at the gate were much clearer. Exactly who he'd thought them to be.

"It appears Tame 7 is finally leaving on their C-rank" he informed his partner.

The blond instantly perked up at finally having some sort of activity. "I'll send a bird, un. Bosses will want to know. Should I inform the Zombies too, hmm?"

"Yes. Make sure Kakuzu and Hidan know they are free to continue bounty hunting. I doubt we will need more than the four already going to be present".

"I'll ask for the Zombies to see if they can't hunt a bounty close to Wave though, yeah? Just in case we do need them, un".

This was why, despite their vastly different personalities, he and Deidara got along. The explosion expert was cunning.

"Fair enough" he agreed with a nod.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Kisame, that was a dumb idea" I informed the Shark simply as I pulled senbon out of him.

"I am aware, Koneko" he replied, wincing.

Kisame had conceded to a singular match versus a nuke-nin bounty we'd been chasing. I was forced to just sit there and watch.

He'd won, as I expected.

But he'd also gotten stuck with so many senbon he looked more like a porcupine than a Shark.

"Next time you want to take on a guy one on one, don't go easy on him just to see what he can do" I continued, pulling out the last senbon before switching to medical ninjutsu to start healing the wounds.

I was almost done by the time a small clay bird came flying into view.

And promptly exploded.

"That's the signal for the Wave mission" Kisame rolled his now healed shoulders. "About time. I was beginning to wonder if they'd ever get a C-rank. By this time you and I had run what? Twenty?"

"Our genin days were nothing but a giant C-rank mission" I drawled back at him as I got up "And nothing has yet to be as bad as that Jashin damn crocodile".

Kisame laughed, grinning "That damn croc was nastier than at lot of these rogues we take down" he agreed. Then tilted his head at me. "We walking or flying to Wave?"

"Dang it Kisame, you know I'm bad at math" I complained as I thought. "A bit of both" I finally decided "It'll take them some days to walk there. Then there's a lot of the Zabuza fight we can't get involved in. We really shouldn't interfere until the last moments"

"Right before Haku gets a chidori through his chest" Kisame nodded remembering as he stood "And as the asshole twerp Zabuza charges Gatou".

"So you were paying attention" I teased him as we darted off towards Wave country.

"Yeah. Hope Itachi-san can take seeing his brother get taken down like that, temporary death state or not" Kisame sighed "Otherwise, Haku is going to have one pissed off Uchiha killing him instead of saving him".

"Tachi knows as well as we do Duck butt is okay... though you may be right about his big brother instincts kicking in" I sighed "Maybe we should fly most of the way. So we can watch the fight from the beginning and be there to remind Tachi that his brother is okay".

Kisame laughed, pulling out the clay bird as we ran. "On it".

* * *

**Some time later ****–** 3**rd ****Person POV**

Team 7 was battered with everyone except Naruto badly injured. The only reason Naruto was unmarked was due to Kurama, but he was unaware of that just yet.

The jinchuuriki had stopped short of killing Haku, despite the boy killing Sasuke. Naruto simply couldn't kill someone that he'd talked with like that.

Then Haku had told him of Zabuza. "Please hurry and kill me" he requested with a calm stare "Why are you hesitating?"

"I don't understand! Is being strong the only reason for you to be alive?!" Naruto protested. "Something other than fighting... You could have been acknowledged for something else..."

"... The day I met you in the forest... I thought you were like me... you should be able to understand..." Haku just continued his calm stare. "I'm sorry that you will have to stain your hands".

"Is this-? Is this the only way?"

"Yes!" Haku had a slight smile "Please fulfill your own dreams".

Naruto lunged for him, closing his eyes as his kunai struck.

Haku blocked it.

"Huh?"

"Sorry Naruto-kun! I can't die yet!" and Haku vanished.

Across the bridge, Kakashi was running for the trapped Zabuza, chidori crackling on his hand.

He struck.

Blood spattered everywhere.

Kakashi found his hand buried in a much different chest.

Haku had saved Zabuza at the cost of his own life.

_A short time later_

Kakashi had made both of Zabuza's arms useless.

Neither he nor the demon noticed the arrival of another until he spoke.

"Ooh... you're getting your ass kicked. How disappointing Zabuza".

"Gatou" the Demon narrowed his eyes "Why are you here? And what's with all these men?"

"Zabuza I'm going to have you killed here. I never planned on paying you any money".

Zabuza had dropped the fight with Kakashi, claiming he no longer had a reason to do so now that there was no money.

Naruto lost it.

"He really loved you! Do you really feel nothing?! If I become as strong as you will I really become like you?! He threw away his life for you!" Naruto found himself starting to cry. "Without his own dream... to die as a tool... That's just too sad".

Zabuza looked up at him, revealing that the demon was crying too.

"You... don't need to say anymore..." he spoke. Zabuza turned his attention to the gang. "It pained him to fight you. Haku not only fought for me, he fought for you guys too... He was too kind". He chewed away the bindings around his mouth spitting them out. "I'm glad I got to face you guys in the end. Yeah kid, you may be right... A shinobi is still human. We may not be able to become emotionless tools..."

Zabuza paused. Then made his choice.

"Kid, let me borrow your kunai!"

Naruto tossed it to him and the Demon of the Mist caught it in his sharp teeth. Then he lunged for Gatou.

"That's enough! Kill him!"

The guards moved to obey.

"One badly injured ninja against these numbers? You think you can win?" one mocked.

"KATSU!"

The ground exploded, erasing several guards at once.

Haku's body suddenly burst into a flock of crows.

An illusion.

"You see, that's where you're wrong" a new voice chuckled. There was a flicker of movement, a blur of blue.

Then Gatou and his guards found themselves facing not one but two ex-Swordsmen of the Mist.

"Don't worry, Zabu" this voice was female. Another flicker of movement and a kunoichi joined them, grinning. "Gatou is all yours. Cause that'd be kill stealing and just not polite at all".

"You two..." Zabuza stared at them in shock, nearly dropping the kunai from his mouth.

"The pair from before!" Kakashi stared at them in shock. "You escaped from ANBU!"

"Good to see you grew a brain twerp" the shark laughed "You even have a heart too. Guess you went from being a complete asshole to just a bastard". He shot a slight glare at the Copy-nin "And if you throw Koneko into ANBU cells again I will personally _end _you".

"Believe it or not that is an improvement" the kunoichi assured the still stunned Demon. "Behave Kisame. Kakashi-san knows we mean no harm, ne?"

"H-hai kunoichi-san" Kakashi agreed, not wanting to risk a confrontation while both injured and winded.

"Haku..." Zabuza glanced at where the fake had been.

"Zabuza-san!" a shadow of a large bird flew over and the clay beast landed to block escape.

On its back were two shinobi, one of which was Haku.

"He's fine, un" the blond on the bird with him scoffed "Wasn't amused when we rescued him though, yeah".

"The death you saw was a genjutsu. I apologize, it was necessary" the smooth monotone of yet another new shinobi came, as he strolled up the bridge. He briefly stopped to kneel by the fallen Sasuke, feeling his pulse. Sakura lifting her crying head to look at him. "Temporary death, as promised. I do not envy your headache otouto".

Sasuke stirred blearily. "An-aniki" the greeting came before the Uchiha's mind had yet to recover.

"You should stay still, otouto. And Saukra-san, you should start pulling out those senbon in him. Gently" the black haired shinobi rose to go join the others of his group.

For that's what they were.

"Who are you?!" Gatou demanded.

"We are Yūgure" the Shark smirked at him, a feral glint in his eyes. "We'll be taking care of you pathetic guards".

"You however, as we mentioned before, belong solely to Zabu here" the kunoichi chirped drawing some senbon of her own. "Hey Dei, wanna see who's faster? Those guys from before don't count".

"You're on, yeah" the blond smirked hand going to the pouches of clay on his hips.

As one, the four shinobi moved to attack.

These guards were no match for four S-class shinobi.

Wouldn't have been a match for Zabuza had he not been in such sorry condition.

Zabuza stood there for a moment before his eyes hardened.

Then, as before, he lunged for Gatou.

Only this time... there were no guards to stop him.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Well that was fun" I chirped as we finished off the last of them. "And Jashin damn your explosion spamming Dei".

"You're just pouting cause you lost, yeah" the terrorist laughed.

"Why did you help?" Zabuza demanded instantly.

"We did nothing to earn it" Haku added as he slid off the safety of Deidara's bird.

"If anything, twerp here has done everything **_but_** earn us saving him ass" Kisame mused, putting Samehada back in its holder on his back. He'd clean the blade later. "In fact, I was against it. But... I changed my mind".

"Why?" Zabuza snapped.

"You're human. Or at least more than you were. That kid there" Kisame jerked his thumb at Haku "has worked some serious magic to upgrade you from asshole to just being a bastard".

I approached Zabuza whom glared at me, stepping away. "Oh stop it. I'm healing your arms you big pansy" I informed, moving forward to catch him and begin my work undoing the damage from Kakashi's kunai.

"Yūgure" Kakashi spoke up finally "What are your motives?"

"Taking down the Akatsuki" Kisame answered simply. "However, as you aren't a potential new member, that's all you get to know".

"Yeah, Zabu here and Haku will have to wait to here the rest of our convincing argument" I chimed.

"Argument for what?" Zabuza snarled.

"Joining this insanity" I chirped.

"ITACHI!" a familiar furious yell.

"Tachi, I do believe your Duck butt brother has realized you aren't a hallucination".

"So it seems" Itachi's normal gaze flicked over to where Sasuke was charging at him.

Kakashi smartly stopped the Duck butt before our resident Uchiha was forced to put his brother in a genjutsu.

"Let go sensei!" Sasuke demanded struggling to get to Itachi "He killed my family! It's my duty to kill him in return!"

"What?! Teme, this was the guy you wanted to kill?!" Naruto gaped at Itachi before drawing a kunai and falling back into a fighting stance.

"You! How dare you hurt Sasuke-kun!" Sakura pipped up, going into a fighting stance as well.

"Danna, maybe we should leave, hmm? I think we're causing a bit of trouble, un" Deidara sighed at the genin.

"You are right Deidara. Farewell Team 7. Do not worry, Sasuke. You and I will speak. Just not today" Itachi went towards the terrorist's bird.

"COWARD! Fight me!" Sasuke demanded, still twisting in Kakashi's hold.

Itachi ignored him, and as soon as he was on the clay bird with Deidara, it took off into the sky, vanishing with surprising speed.

"So, Zabu, you willing to at least listen to the rest of our argument?" I asked, completely ignoring the whole exchange. I stepped back from him, my healing task complete. Zabuza rolled his shoulders before going to pick up Kubikiribōchō from where it had fallen.

"Zabuza-san" Haku spoke softly "I believe we should listen to them".

"Fine" the Demon grumbled. "To repay the debt we owe you, we'll listen".

"Follow us then" Kisame smirked. "Good to see you again Team 7. Do try being more careful with your C-ranks".

"And be sure to tell Ibiki I said hi" I laughed before we vanished, Zabuza and Haku following closely behind. "By the way, Tazuna, this bridge is hereby the Great Naruto Bridge".

* * *

"The Akatsuki wishes to rule the world by placing it in a mass genjutsu" Kisame finally told our potential new members.

"As Yūgure, our goal is to stop them. And to take down their leader" I added.

"Why should we care?" Zabuza snapped.

"Because Zabu, you're low on funds. We pay well. And, if the world is in a genjutsu there will be no more fighting. No more shinobi. No more purpose to your existence" I informed.

"Plus, the leader of the Akatsuki... he is worse than Gatou in believing that those who serve him are mere tools" Kisame added.

"Zabuza-san... if I may... I think we should help" Haku managed to surprise all three of us. "I don't like the sound of this mass genjutsu".

Zabuza snarled. Glared at Haku. Glared at us. "Fine" he growled. "We'll help. But as soon as the guy is down, we're gone".

"Fair enough" Kisame smirked at him "I still don't like you much anyway".

"Feeling's mutual, fishy. Same goes to you, bitch" Zabuza's angry stare fixed on me.

"Such a friendly person you are Zabu" I sighed "But, since you've both joined us, now you get to now the rest of the story".

"After that, you two can be partners" Kisame continued "And we'll have the artist get you outfitted too".

"Now, how much about the boy Naruto do you already know...?"

* * *

**About the Same Time – With Team 7**

"Sensei... what the hell just happened?" Naruto was the first to speak up.

"That, my dear genins, was a group of S-rank nuke-nin" Kakashi answered.

"That group had _Itachi_" Sasuke snarled.

"Oi, teme, if you're brother is so evil why'd he just walk away?"

"Naruto! Don't question Sasuke-kun!" Sakura hit the blond.

The question had made the younger Uchiha go still. "I... don't know" he admitted through gritted teeth. Why had his brother basically ignored him? Hadn't Itachi demanded that he hate him?

"Kakashi-sensei... why didn't they attack us?" Sakura finally ventured.

"Because they were actually helping" Kakashi admitted with a sigh.

"Well, Haku and that Zabuza guy weren't all bad. And they were nuke-nins. So, I guess it makes sense that these guys... Yūgure isn't all bad either" Naruto mused in one of his rare moments of genius.

"That was the kunoichi from before" Sasuke continued "The one who caught Tora for us. And that Kakashi-sensei gave over to ANBU".

"Her shark friend helped her escape" Kakashi nodded in conformation.

"They must be very strong..." Sakura murmured.

"Maybe next time we can get them to actually introduce themselves?" Naruto finished. Then grinned "I mean if they want to be friends I'll accept them! Believe it!"

"You would Naruto" Kakashi sighed. "But... perhaps you're right. Next time, I think we should ask their names".

Because, so far as the jounin could tell, this group wasn't going to stop showing up in their lives anytime soon.

* * *

**Omake – Jashinists, Normal POV**

"You know bitch, you're a damn odd Jashinist" Hidan spoke up as he entered our new base's kitchen.

I'd been there grabbing a snack. Apparently the zealot had decided to do the same.

"How fucking devoted are you to Jashin-sama anyways? So far as I can fucking tell, you're not immortal or some shit" he continued.

Well, this was awkward.

"Er... in all honesty, Hidan... I've never been much of a Jashinist..." I admitted.

I was honestly surprised he hadn't realized this sooner.

"You fucking threaten to sacrifice our asses in rather damn descriptively fucking painful ways" Hidan countered.

"And yet I don't" I replied.

"And the damn slaughter you can cause, that's fucking impressive".

"Doesn't mean I'm a Jashinist".

"You're favorite fucking curse is swearing to Jashin-sama" Hidan cocked his head at me.

"Cause I believe he's in charge of my shit luck" I sighed.

Surprisingly Hidan laughed.

"That makes you a Jashinist, bitch. Can't believe you're that fucking stupid to think you're not one. You're just a really shitty one".

"But...?" I was confused.

"Jashin-sama is fucking god of slaughter, death, healing, and luck" Hidan explained "Or it's what he focuses his shit on anyways cause he's fucking kami of every damn thing. Bunch of pussy heathens not believing".

I really couldn't argue against this.

"You should at least get yourself a fucking pendent. I bet the damn reason you're not a fucking immortal is cause you're such a shitty believer" Hidan mused. "Maybe I'll fucking get you one for your damn birthday or fucking something"

Then the zealot walked off after grabbing an apple.

I... was not entirely sure what to make of this situation.

* * *

_I was really unsure of adding Zabuza and Haku to the mix of insanity that is our group of nuke-nins. But, I decided that Toki and Kisame would give Zabu a chance after seeing the mental break down._

_Plus, it's mostly Haku's idea anyway. He's the reasonable one._

_**Next time –**__ "__Now we're fucking stuck waiting on the damn exams"._

"_Quiet whelp"_

"_Perhaps we can __**provide entertainment?**__"_

"_The fucking hell do you want?"_

"_We come with an offer. __**For you both to join Akatsuki**__"__._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Wind – I'm glad! :D And yes, Sarutobi was not happy._

_Yami – Cause I wanted to apologize for updating slow. And thank you! I'm glad that you like this so much :3 Ibiki has learned a lesson and Sarutobi is unamused. Nope, definitely not nearly as dark. Bed claiming was sort of 'pick room, toss your stuff in it before anybody else and it's yours' xD_

_Ie-maru – It was an apology ^^; Have an update!_

_Rae – Exactly Real organizations need a hideout. Toki is queen of trolling people. And two days? I try to update at least once daily. Try is key word ^^;_

_Saski – You're not dead! :D And yes, Koneko got stuck in Konoha, so 'kitten in a tree'. And don't worry, you got quite a few of them ^^_

_Nazebaka – And now back to your regular night updates xD And yay! Glad it was good._

_Eternal (x3) – Team 7 is sticking around for awhile. Pity poor Ibiki he needs a raise. As for Toki's singing, we'll say average. Neither particularly good but not bad either. And indeed, they have fights like any other couple. Ibiki needs to listen when he gets direct warnings. And their 'friendship' is indeed formed. Though I'm not sure that's the right word for it._

_Ariados – Kisame is actually very relaxed after seeing that Zabuza is capable of human emotion._

_Makmix – Indeed it was entirely up to the Shark. And that is very off topic xD IF they have kids it won't__be until much much later._

_Wolves – They got lucky with it xD Kisame is actually very cool with it. But only cause Zabuza showed he actually has a heart. It's a raisin but it's still there._

_Arcami – Major screwing with the plot. And while Toki doesn't much care for Zabuza, she's decided to move on and not hold grudges. Kisame was only convinced by the fact Zabu was capable of shedding tears._

_Coco – Does this answer your question :P Yūgure is not limited to ex-Akatsuki only. Sarutobi knows not what to think of them. At all. Sasuke is indeed a very dumb Duck butt. Thank you! Have an update!_

_Ajisai – As they've yet to manage to kill Zetsu in canon I've no idea how to kill the blasted plant myself -.-; _

_Rose – Here's the reward I promised ;) _

_Shanny – Thank you ^^ Not exactly revenge. And they interrupt, but it's Zabu that's being interrupted. Poor you :( Hope you finished it_

_TheThird – I do adore the Zombies. And yes, indeed it will. As for your question, yes. Toki, while not as skill in medical ninjutsu as Tsunade or Sakura is capable of using it to prevent such an event from happening. She's currently as sterile as they come right now. I might have someone ask about it (probably Hidan cause he would ) so that this can be more obvious._

_December – I apologize. It's why I've been warning everyone that these posted chapters haven't been edited by my Beta. I promise that as soon as she's not busy anymore you'll be seeing corrections._

_Ceres – A bit after actually. We have a chapter or two before the exams though. That end does sound very fitting though, I agree._

_Arcturus – I'm glad! :) And check your PMs person -.-;_

_Yuuki – Not nearly as expected. And indeed, I think I'll be showing them helping it grow back in the next chapter or two while we wait for the Chuunin exams. _

_Dimensional – Glad you enjoyed it ^^_

_Blood – Yep. Curse all the exciting stuff for being in later Naruto years! -angry fist shake-_

_Phantom – You'll certainly be seeing her trolling him a lot now that he's stuck with them :P _

_Fk – Thank you :3 And nope. This is not anywhere close to ending._

_Deathless – Glad you liked it!_

_Chibi – Bet you weren't expecting that. Well, maybe you were. Sarutobi is highly confused. And of course not. I wouldn't stick them in that crummy place xP And Yūgure is pro. So Sasuke gets to watch Itachi just ignore him for now and walk away;_

_Kakashi – Not here! Where I live the temps are fluctuating between 60s-70s and below freezing :D I'm glad, as I didn't want to be screwing up the Japanese ^^; And indeed, the Uchiha is capable of showing emotion. Shocker! _

_Shadowelf – Poor Ibiki he needs a raise. And it's a nice base._

_Marina – Ibiki has learned his lesson. Team 7 is unsure of what to make of them._

_Dawn – Kisame is the most adorable shark ever. And no Dei/Itachi. It's a master/pupil sort of thing with them. Partners only. Hidan's not in denial, he just admits that he's friends with someone he hates._

_Candi – The Zombies were never anything but frienemies xD Glad you liked it! Have an update :3_

_Kyprioth – I'm glad you like it so much! :3 And don't worry it's not ending for some time. And pfft. Decaying Zombies... -amusing mental image-_

_Sofie – Thanks :3_

_Gowolf – Indeed. Thrown to the Sharks xD Glad you like it!_

_Shadow – I know. o.o It's amazing. And Tobi was only 'begging' to be a part of the Akatsuki to keep up his act. Akatsuki does belong to the Lollipop after all._

_Uncertain – The Wave arc was much shorter than I expected, but I didn't feel like rewriting the entire thing. Everyone knows the Wave arc. It'd be boring to retell it to you._

_Skyrere – Thank you! :3 I'm glad my story is an exception to the rule. And in Toki's defense she's an SI/OC hybrid as she doesn't quite have my personality. She's much more brave and social than I am._

_Dee – Ibiki needs to be pitied. And don't worry, I listed them for you ^^_

_Guest 1 – For the sake of convenience, we'll say that Toki and I have the same knowledge of the Naruto universe. Meaning up until the latest chapter._

_Guest 2 – Indeed they might. They're certainly going to be shown helping the town recover. Plus becoming a shinobi Village would help mask their activity._


	33. Lollipop Wants What Yūgure Has

_It's snowing here :D_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_Mein has been eaten by life and Arcturus was kind enough to volunteer to Beta._

* * *

"Welcome to Yūgure," I said as we led Zabuza and Haku into our base of operations, "Plenty of rooms left open. Claim any of those that you want".

I was glad we'd improved our base's condition.

It was clean and mostly furnished now. Seals were worked into the walls to keep any unwanted attention well away, especially certain plant-men.

We were still working on getting more lighting, as well as attempting to figure out what to do for a training ground. We'd been using the wide central room, but we needed something larger.

"This place... is impressive," Haku observed.

"We're working on it. Needs improvement," Kisame answered, and then eyed our two new comers, "Speaking of improvement... you two are going to need serious work to run with us".

"Who do you take us for, fishy?" Zabuza snarled.

"Nuke-nins that aren't quite ready to play with the big boys," Kisame smirked at him, "Don't worry. We have a way to fix that".

"You're an evil man, Kisame," I sighed, knowing where he was going with this.

"Love you too, Koneko," his smirk became directed at me.

"I don't understand... what's the issue?" Haku dared to question while Zabuza seethed silently.

"Introductions first, then, we'll show you the issue," the Shark chuckled.

We showed the newbies to the kitchen, where Yūgure tended to gather. "Alright everybody, say hi," the Shark was obviously very amused.

The other four members sized up our new recruits.

"So you did get them, un," Deidara spoke, "Hi then, yeah. I'm Deidara."

"Itachi," was the short sweet and antisocial response, as per usual with the Weasel and new people.

"Hidan, bitches," the zealot greeted, making Zabuza glower at him.

"Kakuzu," our miser wasn't very social either.

"We'll be bringing these two up to our speed" Kisame's smirk had grown very large.

Our other four members visibly reacted.

Deidara paled, "Remind me never to piss you off, un."

"That... is quite harsh," Itachi agreed.

"Sucks for you fuckers, but you're the damn idiots joining an organization above your fucking league," Hidan laughed at Haku and Zabuza.

"They had better be worth the trouble," Kakuzu glared at the two of them.

"The hell are you all going on about?" Zabuza demanded in a snarl.

I left briefly, returning to the group with two blindfolds in my hands.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, twerp. You and the boy will be blindfold training until I decide you're good enough. Then you two are roulette training, also blindfolded. You don't get to see again until I think you've earned it," Kisame answered.

"Roulette training?" Haku questioned, watching me warily since I was the one holding the blindfolds.

"You'll see when you get there. Koneko, let's give the newbies a proper initiation."

"Hope you two improve quickly," I chirped going to tie the blindfolds over our new recruits' faces.

* * *

Days passed. Yūgure, our new duo included, worked to help our base town recover from their old daimyo. The gifts of his riches had helped greatly, but there was still plenty of work to be done here as well.

Kisame and Hidan, being the 'muscle' of the group were often rebuilding structures back to their former glory. Zabuza got dragged into this, much to the Demon's distaste. I suspected he'd challenge Kisame eventually for the 'demeaning' work but so far, outside of grumbling, Zabuza had obeyed without complaint.

Deidara was both resident 'artist' of the town, repainting and coloring things, and demolitions. If a building was simply too far gone to rebuild Dei was the one who made it disappear. Haku got dragged into helping with the art part of the job. He didn't seem to mind the work.

Itachi and I were the trap makers. I laid physical shinobi traps around the town and our base. While Itachi worked some rather nasty genjutsu ones that fed off the natural chakra in the area, so they were almost impossible to detect, unless you knew they were there. Plus, he hid the traps I made. Haku was dragged into this as well, helping me create physical traps. He also accepted this work without complaint.

Kakuzu, obviously, was in charge of funds, both for Yūgure itself and for the town. His main task was helping this broken economy get back on its feet. I could never decide if he really enjoyed this or if it consistently pissed him off.

The people of the town had been unsure of us before our renovation works. But now, they were excited whenever they got to see any of us.

Slowly and steadily, this place was returning to its former glory.

They were even talking again about becoming a shinobi Village once they were back to where they'd been before their daimyo had screwed them over.

We offered our services here to help teach prospective genin should they make the conversion.

After all, this place becoming a Hidden Village would offer better cover for us.

* * *

"Alrighty Zombies, your turn to watch Konoha. There shouldn't be anything interesting until the chuunin exams. Jashin knows when those will be. It could quite literally happen on any of our month-long turns," I sighed.

"We fucking know already bitch," Hidan glared, "We'll go watch the shitty Leaf for a fucking month, like the damn usual."

"We'll send word should anything occur. Though I doubt it," Kakuzu answered.

"Remember, miser-san. No pay unless you come back," I grinned at him.

"And deductions if you're running late," Kisame added with a smirk. We'd been telling him this so long it was both routine and almost an inside joke.

"I am aware," Kakuzu actually scoffed. The miser did actually have a sense of humor. It was just buried _really _deep under all his angry.

"As if the damn old man would fucking risk his shit money," Hidan snickered, "Never fucking has, never fucking will."

"Let's go, whelp," the miser turned to leave.

"Yadda fucking yadda, 'Time is damn money', Yadda shitty yadda," the zealot rolled his eyes before following after him.

"And now back to tormenting the twerp and the kid," Kisame grinned headed for our make-shift training room.

"Are you _ever _going to let them go without the blindfolds?"

"...Maybe."

* * *

**Hidan POV**

He fucking hated admitting that he agreed with anything that damn transy said.

However, on this damn subject they were in complete fucking agreement.

Konoha was absolutely fucking _boring_.

Bunch of damn pussy heathens couldn't even be fucking entertaining, useless bastards.

He and the stitch-face bastard had been fucking sitting here for two Jashin damned weeks.

They hadn't even seen the obnoxious green fucker.

In fact, the only damn thing he'd fucking succeeded in was locating the pineapple bastard.

He'd dared to get really close to the fucking Leaf, curious about this shitty kid that was supposed to be a fucking genius.

He'd been un-fucking-impressed on discovering this damn so-called Shikamaru.

This little shit would've been his fucking death?

At least the blond kyuubi-shit that would've fucking ended Kakuzu had some damn strong chakra.

This pineapple bastard didn't fucking look like he was so damn special.

Then his shinobi instincts had triggered.

That was the shit's trick then. No fucking way he'd get his ass beaten by some weak heathen.

Pineapple-bastard fucking relied on people underestimating the shit out of his capacities.

He scoffed before heading back to the damn old man.

He had no fucking quarrel with the pineapple-bastard since the shit wasn't going to kill his ass this time around.

Still... it'd probably be in his best fucking interest to keep a damn eye on the pineapple.

* * *

**Kakuzu POV**

He had scolded his whelp partner on the man's return.

But it hadn't lasted long.

Obviously the damn pup hadn't attracted any attention.

He guessed he should've seen this coming. The whelp would get antsy going so long without a sacrifice.

Their next bounty hunt would most likely be especially bloody if the pup was sneaking off to inspect his would've-been killer.

He'd be sure to find them a bounty that paid more dead than alive.

Another week passed.

Now they just had to get through this one and the next week, and their month of watching Konoha would be over.

"Kakuzu, I'm fucking bored," his companion finally spoke, "At least Weasel and Transy got some fucking entertainment on their watch".

He glared at the immortal, not deigning to respond.

"Now we're stuck fucking waiting on the damn exams," the pup didn't know when to shut up. The man really should know when to be quiet after being his partner for so long.

Some things never changed.

"Quiet whelp," he responded, not wanting the man's whining to catch the attention of any ANBU who ventured over this way, though they were far out of the usual circuits.

There was only a whisper of sound to alert him to a new arrival.

"_Perhaps we can_ **provide entertainment?**" two new voices spoke from a singular entity.

He had to admit, even with Toki's description, he wasn't entirely prepared for seeing the plant-man that was Zetsu.

The whelp was instantly on his feet, grabbing his scythe. "The fucking hell do you want?" the immortal demanded.

Hasty as always.

"_We come with an offer. _**For you both to join Akatsuki,**" the plant's light and dark sides informed, "_Our leader is most interested _**in your abilities**".

"What is Akatsuki's goal?" he questioned, wondering what the plant would answer.

After all, Zetsu didn't know what they knew.

"_Your organization challenges us without knowing that? _**How stupid. **_Our goal is world peace. _**Of course**."

He gave the plant his signature stare.

"_Of course, we also pay very well. _**Easily twice as much as the chump change they're paying you**."

He glanced at his partner.

"Fucking whatever, Fuck this shit," Hidan walked off into the forest.

The plant watched him go. "_Pity. _**We wanted both**. _But at least one is listening_."

"Hn," he found himself giving the Uchiha's signature reply.

"_So, Kakuzu, What will it be? _**Will you join?**"

He gave a considering pause.

Long enough for the whelp to get into position.

Then, without warning, his threads wrapped around the plant, trapping the spy.

"It is most likely a clone," he informed.

"Don't fucking care," the crimson scythe flew forward cutting the enraged and struggling Zetsu's face. "I'll sacrifice the damn clone to Jashin-sama anyways."

"Since you are most likely a clone, you can carry a message with your demise to the real you," he felt himself smirk under his mask.

"It'll be the same one our Sushi leader gave your shitty leader," the pup drew the infamous bloody symbol on the ground, before licking his scythe and turning into his skeletal form, "You can go Jashin damned fuck yourself," Then the immortal stabbed a stake through his own heart.

* * *

**Deidara POV**

"That bounty was easy, Danna, un. Pick a more challenging one next time, yeah," he actually pouted at the Uchiha as his partner checked the nuke-nin's pulse.

"Very well, Deidara. I shall endeavor to find one you find more entertaining," was the dry reply.

He really didn't understand Danna's humor sometimes.

"At least the money from this one will make miser-san happy, yeah," he conceded.

While easily dealt with, this rogue had been worth a surprising amount of money.

"I highly doubt Kakuzu is ever really happy," Danna observed, "Unless he was alone with nothing but his funds."

"You have a point, un."

There was the sensation of movement.

"_Two powerful shinobi, reduced to hunting petty bounties. _**How pathetic**".

He found himself glad he was used to the boss-shark's looks.

Otherwise he'd have blatantly stared the plant-man that was a spy for the Akatsuki.

"You would not have shown yourself unless you wished us to know you were there," Danna watched the plant closely.

"_We do. _**We have an offer**".

"Offer, hmm?" he knew where this was going, "What offer, yeah?"

"_To join our organization. _**Akatsuki**."

He feigned boredom, making small creatures with his clay that he tossed idly onto the ground.

"Why should we be interested?" Danna questioned, drawing the attention back to him.

"_Because our organization seeks peace. _**A world without lies where everyone is accepted**."

"Sounds pretty, un," he drawled.

"_Then what _**are your answers?**"

"I think Danna should go first, yeah. He can answer for both of us, un," he cast a look at his partner, "Danna?"

In an instant Danna's eyes went from black to the deadly whirl of the Mangekyo.

"Amaterasu," Danna spoke, causing the black flames to flare into existence, aimed at the plant-man.

The heat from the flames also set off the bomb creatures that he'd been tossing onto the ground earlier. They'd burrowed their way to be just beneath the Akatsuki spy.

The resulting explosion was rather impressive art with its swirl of orange and black flames.

"That was most likely a clone," Danna stated after a moment.

"I know, un. We should get back, yeah. The bosses will want to know."

* * *

**Normal POV**

"You're kidding me," I gaped at the four as they reported their stories.

"No, un," Deidara shook his head.

"So the fucker really was a clone. Jashin damn it, I was hoping I sacrificed the real bastard," Hidan sulked.

"Akatsuki tried to recruit you as well?" Kakuzu looked at Itachi.

"Yes. And as we said, we declined" Itachi gave a slight smirk.

"By turning him into art with my explosive and Danna's Amaterasu, yeah," Deidara repeated with a grin, "You should've seen it, un. Real art."

"Good to know that you're all still with us," Kisame watched them, the four obviously rising in his esteem for their loyalty.

"As if we'd be fucking going to work for the Lollipop-bastard that would have gotten us killed, and that pineapple-shit is really not impressive, bitch."

"Underestimating Shikamaru is the worst mistake you ever made Hidan," I replied, "and since you're still with us, you won't have to worry about him".

"I fucking know that. That's why I let the damn bastard live," Hidan scoffed.

"They did not try to recruit you or the newbies, hmm?" Deidara questioned.

"I suppose my one 'no' was enough," Kisame laughed, "and since Koneko is my partner that they almost killed, I doubt they'd try recruiting her."

"Zabu and Haku haven't been with us that long. Lollipop most likely doesn't know about them yet," I cast a glance at the two who were sitting and listening quietly to the exchange.

"So, twerp, out of curiosity, what _would_ you do if approached by Zetsu?" the Shark challenged.

Zabuza glared, but as all of us, including Haku, were looking at him, he was forced to give an answer. "I would feed the damn plant's blood to Kubikiribōchō," he replied in a snarl, "I hate you. But, what you told us about this Obito bastard make me hate Akatsuki more."

"I would help Zabuza-san," Haku informed, "See if this plant could survive the ice of my kekkei genkai."

Kisame leaned back into his chair with a smirk, "Good enough."

_Some time later_

"Koneko, I can never decide if I like the fact this insane idea is working out so well" Kisame informed me a hand going to snag my waist before promptly tossing me lightly over his shoulder.

"What do you mean? And do I really look like a sack of potatoes to you?" I asked laughing.

"Yūgure is growing nicely," Kisame started walking, not letting me off his shoulder, "but I have to admit I miss the days where it was just the two of us." Mischievously his hands wandered places they shouldn't in public, "And sacks of potatoes are not nearly this sexy."

"I would hope you don't find sacks of potatoes sexy at all," I teased, "Does that mean I don't even rank as cute?"

"Koneko, you're doing that female thing where you fish for compliments," the Shark gave me a mock scowl.

"Maybe," I stuck my tongue out at him, "Is it working?"

"I already called you sexy, miss needy," he teased, "but fine. You are beautiful, sexy, deadly, and most importantly _**mine**_."

"See was that so hard?" I laughed, sticking my tongue out at him again.

"Hmph, I'll have you know my pride is forever wounded," he drawled, "and Koneko, you stick your tongue out at me one more time and I'm claiming it. I might not give it back either."

"Kinky," I snickered.

"Kinky?" Kisame laughed then smirked at me "Woman, I'll show you not to tease a Shark."

"Ooh I'm so scared," I grinned back.

"You should be," he winked, "After all, I'm a Shark with a very good imagination."

* * *

_Lollipop doesn't steal anybody. Yay!_

_To Zetsu's clones: You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?_

_So we have some interesting developments while waiting on the chuunin exams. Their little town unofficially dubbed Sakuragakure is recovering nicely :3_

_I would so volunteer to be in that first class of genins if the conversion goes through. Having Yūgure members as senseis would be EPIC. I'd so fangirl all over every one of them, even my own OC xD_

_**Next time – **__"__Kisame. Restrain me"._

"_Koneko?"_

"_Restrain. Me"._

"_... Why?"_

"_Because, if you don't, I'm about go fangirl all over a currently murderously psychopathic redhead! Now restrain me, Jashin damn it!"_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Zuma – Not just them :P _

_Eve – Ao is the best sensei outside of Minato and Kakashi xD_

_Nazebaka – Thank you! I was worried about this chapter as it was one of the first where they'd be truly muddling in canon. The Jashinists Omake was actually a request, wanting to see Hidan and Toki discussing the religion. It ended up vastly different than expected xD And nope. Zetsu's clones meet horrible fates._

_Arcami – Yep. Gotta love the waiting on plot to happen. Not just them. They were just the first attempt :P As for Oro-snake, we'll say he defected anyway for some other reason and still formed Sound. -can't think of a good reason right now-_

_Dragon – I try ^^ I'm glad you like it! Of course Lollipop wants to steal their members. Toki and Kisame have all the cool people. Hope you liked the turn out._

_Candi – Yeah, I wasn't expecting that ither until I wrote the chapter xD Duck butt is a dumb Duck butt PTS years. Have an update :3_

_Kasai – Most likely never xD And his clones are killed. In brutal ways. You'll be seeing the answer to those questions soon enough :P_

_Marina – Yay for alive Haku! Duck butt is rather dumb in the PTS years... No Omake this time as this was a longer chaper but maybe ;) If Kakuzu can be convinced to play poked that is. Or rather someone needing to be dumb enough to play poker against Kakuzu and Itachi. That's just asking to get beat._

_Blood – Sorry ^^; It's just one of those things. Can't fastforward through all the passing time. _

_White – Nope. Apparently not. And does that preview answer your question? :P_

_Saski – You've been quite lately. I thought you got eaten D: Weasel-fluff is the best. He is so hax it isn't even fair but he's my favorite Uchiha by far. Ibiki needs a serious raise as Toki will now torment him every chance she gets. It's a wonder so many powerful nuke-nins let her get away with giving them dumb nicknames xD I agree. All of them are idiots in the PTS years -.-; Shaky is indeed very pretty but Toki will gut us if we try taking him. (Plus at least now he's a sexy grown Shark?) We can steal Weasel-fluff though! Gaara shows up next chapter. Kisame has to either restrain his female or have her go major fangirl mode. Owwww... that has to hurt. You ok?_

_Sofie – Zetsu appears and gets pwned._

_Shanny – You got your wish. Sort of. It was just a clone. Alas._

_Yuuki – I actually like the plant too, believe it or not... Kakashi is very highly confused. And indeed. Not only regular blindfold training but roulette training __**blindfolded**__. Kisame is an evil Shark._

_Kakashi – Itachi is learning emotions will not break his Uchiha mind. Drat, Sakura is OOC? Curses. What'd I do wrong? And we do indeed have the wind chill. It's finally snowing here. Nobody is SC knows how to drive in snow (not counting myself as I used to live where it snowed more often) so everyone's going 'NOOOOO! How ever shall we function?! D8' And I'm all 'Bunch of pansies -.-;'_

_Momma – Success! I shall convert you all! MWHAHAHAHA! -Ahem- Ignore that. Glad you liked it ^^_

_December – Nope. Plant gets his butt sacrificed, set on fire and then exploded._

_Kitkat – Slowly, the group is indeed growing larger. ^^ And nope, they're sticking around. -trollface- Problems?_

_Ie-maru – Not just them but the pyromaniacs as well._

_Kyprioth – I both am and I'm not at the same time. It's wired. I've never been a big fan of yaoi but Haku almost counts as a girl in my mind. There will still most likely be trolling nonetheless._

_Freedom – Naturally. They do indeed have all the cool people._

_Guest – Yep. And Duck butt needs to learn thinking skills. He lacks those._

_Ajisai – The youthfullness shall return! xD nd indeed we shall celebrate their survival by making them work! More nuke-nin in the group? Possibly. Never know. Someone's already mentioned comparing this to Darkpetal's work. While both flattering, as she is an amazing author, I don't want to be too similar to her. So no abridged references. Though Abridged was freaking hilarious. _

_Lady – Their haori aren't mentioned here, but that's most likely what their kanji will be once they actually receive the honors of actually having an outfit xD And indeed only time will tell with Duck-butt. Dei's only behaving cause Itachi's there. The plant gets pwned. And Hidan is determined Toki is a Jashinist._

_Homarid – Glad you liked it ^^_

_Ethorin – I'm sorry for any confusion I cause ._._

_Wolves – Hidan is a strangely adorable zealot. And I'm hardly that good at writing ^^; Thank you for the compliment though._

_Guest – The Omakes are considered canon for this story. They do actually happen but simply do not fit within any of the chapters._

_Dawn – No moles. Can't trust Lollipops. And she's Toki, more commonly known as Koneko. As for children, if that occurs it won;t be for quite some time._

_TheCloud – Break all the Leaf-minds! Kisame and Toki, while in the bingo book, were never ones Kakshi himself had to really worry about. So, he's seen their entry. That's why he thinks they're familiar. But it's been awhile since he bothered with them, so he can't recall their names. Make sense? Kakashi really does need to lecture them. I might have that happen in the next chapter xD _

_Cats – They stay :P_

_Wtfh – Thank you! Though no link to Darkpetal was intended outside of borrowing the idea about the Mangekyo. _

_Chibi – Indeed miser-san=Kakuzu. Dang ninja reviewers. Itachi is a boss. Simple as that._

_Ariados – Not just them either. But you are correct in thinking no._

_Music – Indeed it will :3_

_Phantom – Perhaps a bit of both is in order. And Kisame is trolling more so than Toki at the moment xD_

_Manami – Hehe -trollface- that was done deliberately. Naruto is the best at accepting everybody. Here, have an update ^^_

_Gowolf – Thank you! :D_

_Uncertain – Indeed they will_

_Phoenix – Buts it's Chibi-B~ D8_

_Skewed – Thank you very much :3_

_Shadow – Lollipop is too focused on his own organization (thank goodness) Though you'll be eventually seeing him 'Tobi' persona and all._

_Cjhoax – :)_

_TheThird – I second that -shudder- Yay! I'm glad. I didn't want to rewrite the entire thing, so I was worried about it being too short. Haku is a bit on the shy side right now. But he's a calming person, like Itachi. That fight will be epic. Zabuza won't tolerate the Shark's trolling forever. Itachi was exceedingly happy when he got called Aniki. But he couldn't respond to that at the current moment. _

_Naruto loves everybody xD And yes Toki has little tolerance for stupid._

_Skyere – I'm glad you like it! Have an update!_

_Awesome – Of course he would :3_

_Ceres – Most youthful indeed! -sunset background- Hidan would so do that. That's a hilarious mental image xD_

_Shelby – Have an update :P_

_Coco – There's some fluff in this one though ;)_

_Rose – Glad you liked it ^^ It will be a very different reunion, yes._

_Kage – It was supposed to be :3 Duck-butt knows not what to do. Naruto is... well Naruto._


	34. Genin Again? Really?

_I'm bored witless. So have this a couple hours early :)_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_Thank you so so much for your attention to this story! Be sure to check the notice at the bottom for a sign of my thanks to you!  
_

_Plus, I have more fanart! Look on my profile ^^ Saskicheez's picture of genin Toki goes rather well with this chapter_

* * *

**Shikamaru POV**

He was lazily watching the clouds, as usual.

And that sense of someone watching was back.

How troublesome.

He pretended not to notice. Conflict would be a drag.

Besides, he was certain that this was the same person each time.

While the clouds rolled by, his genius mind worked to figure out who this was, thinking that this was a drag the entire time.

It wasn't one of his team mates. They would've just approached him by now.

Not his sensei either, for the same reason.

In fact, that reason held true for most Konoha shinobi.

So this one was an unknown.

How troublesome.

The unknown shinobi had made no unfriendly moves though, even with that irritation he'd felt from them the first time they'd showed up.

They never stayed long, apparently deeming his cloud watching habits boring.

That was fine with him.

Though, having an unknown spy was really such a drag.

* * *

**Several Weeks Later – Normal POV**

"Wake up Kisame!" I ruffled his hair, "It's another exciting day of watching Konoha!"

"Go 'way, Koneko. 'm tryin' ter sleep," the Shark grumbled at me, not wanting to wake up.

I moved to kiss him lightly. There was the briefest return kiss before Kisame just rolled over, full intent on continuing to sleep.

"Drastic measure are in order," I muttered. "Kisame! This guy's flirting with me! Hey! Hands off!"

His eyes snapped open as he snarled, moving to get up, and reaching for Samehada at the same time, he paused, realizing no one was there. Then Kisame gave me a scowl. "You are an evil woman, Koneko," he informed me.

"You're the one who wouldn't wake up," I kissed his cheek in apology nonetheless, not wanting an angry Shark. "I was going to zap you with lightning, but I thought I'd give you one last chance to wake up normally".

Kisame winced at the thought. "Yeah, I'd rather not be woken up by an electric shock," he agreed. He moved to equip Samehada to his back. "Alright, I'm up. Let's go get bored to tears watching another peaceful day in Leaf".

"Hey! It's not my fault the manga was unclear about exactly when the chuunin exams were after the Wave Arc!" I protested, following after him.

_A few hours later_

I was absently watching the road leading into Konoha.

Then I spotted a very familiar trio.

The Sand Siblings.

My eyes instantly went to fix on a certain tanuki-panda.

"Kisame. Restrain me," I ordered.

"Koneko?" the Shark gave me a confused look.

"Restrain. Me," I all but growled, not sure how much longer I could do so myself.

Kisame's look was like he was questioning what little sanity he thought I had. "... Why?"

"Because, if you don't, I'm about to go fangirl all over a currently murderously psychopathic redhead! Now restrain me, Jashin damn it!" I explained.

My will power broke.

I moved to leap off, fulling intending to glomp Gaara.

Kisame, thankfully, was fast enough to catch me mid-spring. He trapped me against him. "Bad, Koneko," he scolded. "No fangirling over people who will kill you for it".

"But Kisame~," I protested "It's Gaara! Adorable tanuki-panda! I don't even care if he goes Sabaku Kyū on my ass to offer my blood to Mother! I _need _to glomp him!"

"Koneko, I'm not about to let you go get yourself crushed by sand just because you want to fangirl over him," Kisame growled at me, hold tightening as the Sand Siblings got closer. "You know I don't like your fangirl tendencies in the first place. I draw the line at getting yourself killed".

"Fine," I sulked in his hold as the Sand Sibling passed by, Gaara vanishing in a sand swirl, leaving only Temari and Kankuro to go into Leaf. Team 7 would be meeting them soon. "But I am so fangirling over him after Naruto uses therapy-jutsu on him".

The Shark growled unhappily. "...Fine," I could feel him sulking at the thought of me close to anybody that wasn't him.

I sulked, though my sulking was at the thought o f not getting to associate with the adorable tanuki-panda that was Gaara for quite some time.

Surely I could find a way to say hi before _and _not get myself killed?

"I'll send a bird to the others. Watching from out here is not going to cut it. We need to devise a way to get inside," Kisame spoke after a moment, fishing out one of Deidara's clay birds.

I nodded in acceptance.

He was right. Being inside would make life easier.

We'd be able to keep closer track of the exams.

...And I could devise ways of approaching adorable redheads.

* * *

The other six members of Yūgure arrived some hours later.

"Fucking finally. Slow ass bastards need to hurry the fuck up with this shit," Hidan shot a glare towards Konoha.

"What does time mean to an immortal?" Kakuzu scoffed at him.

"Motherfucker".

"How are we going to be useful in this?" Zabuza was scowling under his mask.

"Team 7 does know us," Haku agreed "If we get too close they will recognize us".

"It's not like we're that stupid to just walk right into Konoha," Kisame rolled his eyes "We're going in henge. Or at least some of us are. The rest will be waiting for a signal. Most likely one of the terrorist's birds".

"Henge, yeah? Won't they detect that?" Deidara questioned.

"Not with me," I shook my head, "Using my kekkei genkai on so many will be tiring, but I should be able to help suppress the feel of a henge long enough for four of us to get into the Leaf".

Who knew?

Kekkei Genkai of Averageness was actually really useful given the right circumstances.

"Who's going?" Itachi was the next to speak.

"You, because your genjutsu will help the henges be more convincing. Haku, because him coming inside is the only guarantee Zabu will help when the signal goes off. Hidan is coming as well, because we might need some violence insurance. And myself of course," I answered with a nod.

"Ha! Take that, damn old man! I get to fucking go and you have to wait for some shitty signal!" Hidan smirked.

Kakuzu gave him a look that said the miser couldn't care less.

Haku surprisingly laughed. "They do know you well, Zabuza-san. Very well. I'll go".

Zabuza muttered curses under his breath.

"You going to handle being back in Konoha, hmm?" Deidara glanced at Itachi.

"I will be fine," Itachi nodded stepping forward towards me.

"You had better be careful, Koneko. If I have to drag your ass out of ANBU cells again, I will not be happy with you," Kisame warned me with a scowl.

"Will do Kisame," I kissed his cheek. "Besides..." I passed my haori to Kisame before I made the hand signs for a henge, shrinking down into what I'd looked like during my own chuunin exams "I'm just a harmless little kid. Haku, Hidan, start shrinking. Haku, change some characteristic features since you won't look much different". Just to be safe, I changed my own eyes to look green.

"Motherfucker. Having to go as some shitty kid," Hidan grouched, but obeyed. With a poof he became a child as well. "If I so much as hear a shitty snicker from you, damn old man, I will fucking sacrifice you to Jashin-sama five damn times. One for each of your bastard hearts". He didn't bother with his own features.

Kakuzu was obviously smirking at his partner as he retrieved Hidan's haori. He was most likely planning on using this to blackmail the zealot later.

Haku obeyed, becoming a child as well as changing his hair to being short and eyes to being blue while handing off his haori to Zabuza.

"What about the hitai-ate?" Itachi questioned, henging himself to look older. He shortened his hair, changed his eyes to a green, and removed his characteristic facial lines.

"Koneko actually had these made for that," Kisame fished out four hitai-ate from his bag. They were all normal looking hitai-ate... bearing the kanji for Cherry Blossom.

I donned the new hitai-ate, having given my normal one for Kisame to keep. "Congratulations. We are now a team of genins from the very new Sakuragakure".

"Papers?" Itachi asked retrieving a hitai-ate for himself, not even twitching at wearing this new symbol. He handed off his Konoha headband to Deidara who stowed it in a bag for safe keeping.

"Had miser-san make these," Kisame retrieved those from his bag as well, handing them off to the Weasel "So you know they won't be finding anything suspicious about them".

"Have to fucking wear the kanji for a stupid shitty flower," Hidan replaced his hitai-ate with a grumble. "Damn old man, I'll pay you to keep my normal one for me and to fucking give it back when I'm done parading around as a damn flower bastard".

"Deal," Kakuzu instantly stowed Hidan's normal one away.

"Zabuza-san, keep mine for me, please," Haku handed his normal one to the Demon. Zabuza scowled under his mask but took the hitai-ate for Haku to retrieve later.

* * *

Seeing as how the Sand Siblings were able to waltz right into Konoha, we were able to do so as well.

We weren't even given the privilege of having Team 7 greet us.

"Fucking boring," Hidan grumbled.

"Think of it this way Hida-kun!" I chirped daring to huggle the zealot "We get to troll the poor little genins with our sweet skills!"

He smirked, "Knew I fucking liked you, bitch. It'll be fucking hilarious to see the damn looks on their faces when they try going against our fucking abilities".

I slung my arm over Haku as well, now officially having one arm around both my 'teammates'. "Did you even take the chuunin exams Haku?"

Haku was unsure of what to make of me being so familiar. But to his credit he simply shook his head. "Zabuza-san trained me to my level. But I never officially took any tests," he answered. "What about my kekkei genkai?"

"Well, with any luck, you'll soon be a chuunin of Sakuragakure!" I laughed. "And you'll have to stick to weapons and taijutsu, unless your got some non-ice ninjutsu".

"I admit to having wondered what it was like having a genin squad," Itachi watched us, carefully weaving a genjutsu as my kekkei genkai hid both that and the signature chakra of a ninja in henge.

I'd come a long way from being exhausted by only suppressing someone's chakra, but this would no doubt have my head aching by the end of the day.

"Perhaps you three will make good practice," the Uchiha continued, amused with this situation.

"You'll certainly never have a stranger team to take care of, Karasu-sensei," I grinned at him.

"We'll be the best fucking team of genins a damn sensei could want," Hidan laughed.

"I promise, It- Karasu-sensei, we will not disappoint you," Haku actually smiled somewhat.

"Karasu?" Itachi arched an eyebrow at me.

"Well, Weasel-sensei just sounds dumb," I explained.

"Fair enough".

"This is Hida-kun," I ruffled the zealot's hair, causing him to scowl at me. "And this is Yuki-kun," I patted Haku's head.

"Then that fucking makes you Neko-chan," Hidan smirked.

"Nobody names their child Neko," I protested.

"They fucking do now, bitch".

"Fine. But I blame you for the strange looks we're going to get".

* * *

"We were not aware of this... Sakuragakure," a chuunin examined our papers as we arrived at where the Foreign shinobi teams had to check in. "But these papers are in order. Very well, welcome to the chunnin exams, Cherry Blossom genins".

"Come on boys! Race you to the hotel!" I was playing the part of the overly enthusiastic kunoichi teammate.

"You're fucking on, Neko-chan," Hidan smirked darting with me, just being himself. Aka overly energetic teammate number two.

"Sensei, I don't think your attempts to cure his language have worked," Haku picked up easily with a sigh. Acting the mature one stuck with two idiots.

"It appears not," Itachi agreed with a sigh, easily falling into the role of the exasperated teacher. "Apologies, chuunin-san. It seems I have two genins to go catch. Come on then, Yuki".

"Hai sensei," Haku followed him after us.

_At the hotel_

We carefully checked the place for surveillance.

Once satisfied it didn't have any, we dropped henges, genjutsu, and my kekkei genkai. Allowing us all a needed reprieve. I rubbed my aching head.

Itachi activated a privacy seal we'd brought with us, allowing people to only hear muffled conversation. It'd be too suspicious to hide all sound.

"This is too fucking easy," Hidan scoffed, leaning back in a chair "The damn old man is fucking good at faking shit".

" It's miser-san. He was payed to make those believable. Kakuzu works magic if you give him enough money," I laughed in agreement.

"What's the plan?" Haku asked.

"We participate in the exams. It's the only way we're going to keep a close enough eye on the participants. Remember how to pass the first exam?"

"Sit there and fucking pretend to be taking the shitty test and don't actually write any damn thing down," Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Good. Once we're in the second exam, Tachi will be having to disguise himself as ANBU. Shouldn't be an issue, for an ex-captain," I tilted my head at the Weasel in question.

"No. It will not be difficult to play a role I once had," Itachi answered.

"Why is Itachi-san going as ANBU?" Haku questioned.

"So he can get into the Forest of Death unnoticed. We have to keep pedo-snake from putting the mark on Sasuke".

"What about the fucking preliminary matches?" Hidan smirked "Not that those will be fucking interesting".

"We have to lose," I answered. "Unless, we're matched against someone that lost originally"

"Fucking hell?!" he scowled.

"We'd disrupt the time line too much otherwise," I shook my head.

"I better fucking get some bastard that lost the first time around then," Hidan grumbled.

"You're already an official jounin," I reminded him laughing "Poor Yuki here is the one that needs to get that match. It's up to the almighty computer anyway".

"Motherfucker".

"I am fine not being a true chuunin," Haku assured us with his signature smile "I know my skill level".

"No matter the outcome of preliminaries, we'll still be watching the finals," Itachi continued the plan. "And we'll signal the others when Sasuke's match against Gaara is approaching"

Still fully intending on glomping the adorable tanuki-panda before that.

"Then it's officially time to screw up the story," I grinned at the others "We're going to tear the future into itty bitty pieces".

"I fucking think you've been Sushi-bastard's damn partner too long. You both have the same fucking fascination with tearing shit into fucking pieces. I can never fucking decide if that's fucking awesome or damn disturbing," Hidan complained.

"Oh shush, Hida-kun. You'll be getting that violence we promised you".

"That's fucking true," he smirked.

* * *

_Pfft. Silly __Hidan. Thinking his creeping on his would-be killer would go unnoticed. Shika is a genius Hidan. He knows._

_It's the return of chibi!Toki! Sort of. Poor Itachi. I would not want those three as my 'genins' if you payed me money. _

_**Notice –**__This story has hit a remarkable amount of reviews! As such, I'd like to offer my thanks. In the form of: A Q&A! That's right. You all get one question. __**ONE**__.(otherwise it'd be a flood) You can ask anybody __from the story __**one **__thing. You can even ask myself if you want! The answers will be posted come next chapter ;) I was originally not going to do something like this until the epilogue, but I felt 1000+ reviews needed a reward!_

_**Next time –**__ "__Shouldn't you be focused on your own team?__"_

"_Aww come on~! You're adorable! Let me hug you! Please~?!"_

" _Sabaku Kyū"._

"_You're no fun Panda-kun!"_

_**Review Replies!**_

_Guest – No immortality for Koneko. The Kekkei Genkai of Averageness is surprisingly hax._

_Mars – Thank you very much :3_

_Eternal (x2) – Naruto is in a consistent state of adorableness. Zabu is a bunch of thorns. Haku at least attempts being nice. Probably why Toki refrains from trolling him. Did you guess correctly? :P_

_Coco – Kakuzu loves money. But sometimes, even the greediest people form bonds ^^ You can never have too much satisfaction from toturing Zabu._

_Ceres – I do feel like I should do something... I know! _

_Arcami – Mind reading reviewers! AAAAAAAAAH! -runs away-_

_Radient – It is indeed Gaara. Kisame prevents the first fangirl episode but there's no one stopping her now ;)_

_Dimensional – She plans on it. She knows it's dumb, but has decided to do so anyways._

_Awesome – You'll see soon enough xD_

_Blood – Thank you very much for the compliment and the offer! A lot of people have offered, surprisingly to fill in my Beta slot o.o I'll keep you in mind!_

_Shanny – Toki is prevented from her fangirling over Gaara. For now._

_Missy – Thank you! Have an update ^^_

_December – Dang it! How's the artist OOC? Pfft. Gaara of course._

_Ie-maru – Thus why Toki can't decide if he's having a lot of fun or if he's consistently pissed off. No glomping of tanuki-pandas. Yet._

_Cjhoax – You know, constructive criticism usually helps better a story more than an insult does._

_Marina – Fellow fangirl! Yay! I'm glad you like my story that much ^^ And pfft. They're already being trolled with the blind roulette training... But I think you may be right. An Omake may be in order ;)_

_Kitkat – Itachi is so hax he is now Danna. Cause Itachi that's why xD Thank you for the compliment! Hope you enjoy my show of thanks! And they're not in Suna. It's the chuunin exams._

_Chibi – Nope. Lollipop gets nothing. NOTHING! And sadly, neither do I. The insult means that you can go fall off a bridge and die for all they care. Indeed, tis tanuki-panda. And I have no idea ._. _

_Inazuma – I personally can't believe it either honestly. Thus the q&A I'm offering to show my thanks. Hehe. Collection two of the Seven Swordsmen. That does sound like a card game. Zabu's very prickly about being collected though. Zetsu was at least smart enough to not go in person? xD Fluff is always need. Always. She would so totally say that. Chunnin exams = psychotic adorable tanuki-panda :3_

_TheThird – Don't dis the scythe, Hidan's really good with it xD As for the positions, they'd be eventually handed over to other people actually from the Village. Yugure is just there to help get them back on their feet._

_Candi – It was deliberately done that way ^^ They have been together for a very long time. No, don't be shunned! D: It's easy to miss with all the time skip madness. Have an update!_

_Miss – Indeed it is everybody's favorite tanuki-pand xD_

_Shadowelf – They don't get it often but they take advantage of it when they do ^^_

_Makmix – Yep! Cue one tanuki-panda! I certainly do not intend to stop until the tale is done!_

_Free – Of course not. Lollipops are evil and not to be trusted. And even masterminds make mistakes. Lollipop will grow to severly regret his decision. Toki will make sure of it._

_Yuuki – Revenge is best served cold. How could you forget the adorable tanuki-pand?! D: We're sayiing Oro-snake still defected for some unknown reason and still formed Sound. Cause that's a lot of holes I don't feel like filling._

_Wolves – I don't even feel sorry for Zetsu. Poor Toki was restrained from glomping tanuki-panda, but she will have her fangirl moment soon. Thank you very much for the compliment! Not much of Gaara here, but a lot more of him next chapter ^^_

_Smiley – I'm glad you gave it a chance and liked it :) Thank you!_

_Pheonix – You're one of the few that seemed to catch that xD _

_Zuma – Thank you very much! I do try ^^;_

_Saski – Curse uncultured teacher-men! I actually don't feel bad for Zetsu at all. I'm a horrible person -corner of shame- As for Haku, he's just caught in the crossfire of Kisame's revenge. Poor poor Haku. We can share Weasel-fluff! But that doesn't mean we can't kidnap tanuki-panda too! Is it sad that she scares me too? And I agree, the Shark is eye candy... -Pervy Sage moment- Your wrist is clicking? Owwww. That hurts to think about. Yay for badass kunoichi that make sexy Sharks fluffy! Is it disturbing that I find the mental image of a fluffy shark adorable?_

_Skyrere – Thank you so much ^^_

_Eve – I'm glad that these two are the exception to the rule. And I can't wait to write that reunion either. It shall be epic and full of rap!_

_Shattered – That actually works surprisingly well. Thank you! I'll think I'll go with that then. Kisame has to restrain Koneko from suicidal fangirling. It doesn't work when he's not there to catch her though xD_

_Lady – Lollipop: 0. Indeed chuunin exams. Kisame prevents her initial fangirling. But the Shark is no longer in the nearby vicinity ;)_

_Sparkly – Thank you very much! As for effects on the plot, you'll see :P I'm glad you like it!_

_Guest – I'm afraid I don't understand that reference. And Kisame is the leaded as much as she is. Plus, Yugure members have a healthy fear for Toki's temper. Maybe I'll make an Omake to show why._

_Dee – Kakuzu loves money. But he knows better than to join Lollipops. That couple name ._. I do not believe either would appreciate that._

_Kasai – Sakuragakure was actually a suggestion by a reviewer ^^ Who knows about Kage. Those genins would so kick everybody else's ass after being trained by S-class nuke-nins. Yugure is very stalkish. Especially Hidan. That would be very entertaining. I'll save that for when the conflict between the organizations is more heated ^^_

_Aka – I'm glad you gave it a chance! I'll admit, I'm surprised a lot of people made it past that prologue. It's not my best work and I don't know how to fix it -.-; I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job of screwing Kishimoto's plot up xD And that you like Toki! I was skeptical when I can up with her, but she's grown on me a lot. Sharky-ness is so a word. Have an update ^^_

_Jon – Thank you! And trucks do not garuntee Naruto universe, I advise caution. I try oon the characterization ^^; Puppets, alas are sticks in the mud. I'm glad you like my pacing, I was worried about that! -pats- Hope you get your work done. Have and update :)_

_Nazebaka – The members are far too smart for Lollipops. I can say nothing on loyalty of any member to any organization xD Kisame prevents the fangirl-ness (hope there were still laughs with our new 'genins' though) But Shark's not there to stop her a second time :P_

_Ariados – Shh! Don't tell the miser that you're onto him! Of course the redhead is the tanuki-panda._

_Phantom – You're one of the few that caught that reference! I feel like such a nerd... _

_Pierce – Of course it's the psycho tanuki-panda! This is the chuunin exams after all._

_Sofie – Miser is too smart for Lollipops. Yay! Another fangirl! :3_

_ – In a way it's supposed to with that conversation... -Pervy Sage moment- They break into Konoha of course. As 'genins' _

_Ajisai – She tries. Kisame is a fangirl block. Mind reader! Why are you all reading my mind? D: They plan on trolling, unless it was a winner from the first time around._

_Dirana – Thank you kindly! I'm glad that I inspired you! It means a lot to have someone say that. Here's an update for you :)_

_White – Yay tanuki-pandas!_

_Kyprioth – You may be right in that. Haku is just so... Haku. Toki refrains from trolling as poor Haku is the reasonable one. Zabu is fair game. That would so happen if they had to be formal. Haku is threat lvl 0 to the Shark xD_

_Fk – Thank you! We'll have to see if Sakuragakure actually becomes a shinobi Village (which will be funny if it doesn't considering they're posing as genins from there)_

_Manami – Marshmallows! Hidan is more annoyed by him than anything. So therefore Hidan is being a creeper. Of course they'll meet. He was already sacrificed, and set on fire/exploded. Poor Zetsu needs a break. Have an update :)_

_Shadow – Gaara? Tanuki-panda is psychotic, but I don't think he's that dumb though..._

_Lord – Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it ^^_


	35. Tanuki-Panda is Confused By Koneko

_Running a bit late today ^^;_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_The Omake is a thank you to Saskicheez for her wonderful fanart :3_

* * *

**Entering the First Exam – Team 7**

There was a huge crowd in front of a door labeled 307, the room where the first part of their exams were to take place.

Naruto was amazed at the the number of people.

Sakura was focused on Sasuke.

Sasuke noticed that the crowd was in front of the wrong door.

After all they were only on the-

"Oi! Fuckers! What's with the damn crowd?!" As a whole unit the large group of genins turned to see a new approaching trio.

The one that had spoken was a silver-haired male, a scythe obviously strapped on is back.

With him was another male, this time with black hair, not carrying any noticeable weapons.

The final member was the token kunoichi, a brown haired girl, who's only visible weapon was the chain around her waist.

All three wore hitai-ate with a strange kanji on it. Cherry Blossom.

"These guys won't let us in," someone from the crowd answered, pointing to the duo blocking the door. "And who the hell are you three?"

"Why are you trying to get in there? That's the wrong door," the black haired male pointed out in a polite tone.

"As for who we are, we're genins from Sakuragakure," the girl laughed "Come on you two! We're going to be late if we don't get to the third floor".

Sasuke glared at them. They had taken the reveal that he'd been about to do.

"Sasuke-kun! They have a Village with my name!" Sakura practically squealed.

"Hn," Sasuke was sure any other response would go to her head.

"Not fair Sakura-chan! Why don't they have a Village with my name?" Naruto pouted.

"Shut it, bitch. Our Village isn't associated with damn brats like you," the silver-haired one snapped..

"Oi! Don't call Sakura-chan that!" Naruto protested.

"Say that again!" Sakura scowled.

Sasuke fell into a slight fighting stance, narrowing his eyes.

"Gomen. He's always like this," the black haired male shook his head, attempting to stop the violence before it started.

"Hahahaha! You come from some pansy _flower _Village," someone from the crowd mocked.

"Wanna fucking say that to my damn face?" the male glared at them.

"I wouldn't if I were you," the girl grinned, "He has anger issues".

"Please don't be instigating things," the other male sighed at them. So much for stopping anything.

The mocker dared to step forward. Not someone Team 7 knew. Not even someone from Konoha.

"Pansy flower Village," they repeated snidely, obviously sure of being able to take these three on.

Then the silver-haired one _moved_.

There was a resounding crack as this genin got literally kicked into a wall. And the wall shattered on impact.

"Anybody fucking else want to insult the damn Village?" the male dusted his hands, like moving like that was mere child's play.

"H-How'd you do that?" Naruto gaped.

"S-strong," Sakura meeped.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at them. These three could be as much as a challenge as that redhead, Gaara.

"Yosh! A most youthful opponent! Come spar with me!" a spandex wearing genin proposed "I am Rock Lee! What is your name?"

The silver-haired one twitched at being addressed by this 'Rock Lee'.

"Hida-kun!" the kunoichi protested "We're going to be late! And you totally kill-stealed that guy from me!"

"Fucking sorry, Neko-chan," the one she'd called Hida-kun replied. "You're lucky bastard," he informed the genin he'd sent into a wall, "You're still fucking breathing. If the bitch had gotten you, you'd be in damn pieces. She's fucking terrifying".

"We apologize for the trouble," the other male bowed to the group of gaping genin. "My team mates are energetic".

"You're no fun Yuki-kun!" Neko pouted at him.

"Come on, Neko-chan, Hida-kun. We really are going to be late if you two continue like this".

"Fine, fucker. Stealing all my damn fun," Hida followed after Yuki.

"See you in the exams!" Neko winked before chasing after her boys.

The entire rest of the genin, and even the chuunin door guards disguised as genin gaped after them.

"Let's go," Sasuke ordered his own teammates. He refused to fall behind these mysterious genin.

"Of course!" the other two chorused.

Neither wanted to admit how shocked they'd been at the strength behind that male's single kick.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"See Karasu-sensei! We figured the trick out," I greeted Itachi upon seeing him waiting for us on the proper hallway.

Kakashi was leaning against a nearby wall, waiting on his own Team. He watched us with vague interest.

I was very glad that Itachi's genjutsu and my kekkei genkai kept him from being too suspicious.

"Well done," I could hear the scoff in his voice. He'd known not to expect anything less. "Now the real test begins. Good luck". With that, he vanished in a shunsin.

We ignored Kakashi, making our way into the proper testing room.

Wow, there certainly were a lot of people here.

I scanned the room. Redhead acquired.

"Come on! Let's go sit over here!" I dragged the two boys with me. The area near the Sand Siblings was mostly clear. Probably due to tanuki-panda's killer-intent.

I shamelessly plopped down in the seat nearby, earning one of those neutral-scowls Gaara specialized in.

"Hi! I'm Neko!" I introduced myself.

Silence.

His siblings were staring at me in open shock.

"Aw~! Come on! It's polite to introduce yourself when someone gives you their name," I pouted.

Intense intimidating stare. A long moment of silence as I guess he attempted to frighten me away.

I suspect it was because I just gave him a smile that he found me interesting enough to answer "Gaara".

"Nice to meet you," I chirped.

"Shouldn't you be focused on your own team?" he stared at me, unfriendly aura practically coming off him in waves.

Pfft. Tanuki-panda you got nothing on the antisocial that was chibi-Shark or the Weasel.

"Aww come on~ You're adorable! Let me hug you!" All three Sand Sibling were giving me _interesting _looks "Please~?!"

Gaara had apparently had enough of me as his eyes narrowed. " Sabaku Kyū," his sand whipped towards me.

I dodged, thanking Jashin for Okaa-san's blindfold training. "You're no fun Panda-kun!" I dared to move, getting closer with all the speed I had without using Rai Ken.

His sand armor prevented threats and attacks.

A hug however is not a threat nor attack.

"So cute~," I huggled him.

Gaara froze, sand dropping as he struggled to process that someone was daring to touch him and his sand was doing nothing about it.

"I want to keep you," I pouted. Then grinned, "I know! I'll so adopt you! And you can be an honorary member! I'm sure Same-kun wouldn't mind an adorable panda like you as a son!"

Gaara stared at me, eyes wide.

I think I'd broken poor tanuki-panda's brain.

"Neko-chan. Perhaps you should return to your own seat?" Haku was giving me that 'You're completely insane' look I'd gotten very used to getting. "Leave the Suna shinobi alone".

"But Yuki-kun~! He's adorable!" I sulked, but obeyed going back to my chair.

The three Sand Siblings looked like I'd just freeze framed them all.

Temari and Kankuro were shocked I was alive.

Gaara was most likely shocked for the same reason and the fact I insisted on calling him an adorable panda.

I'd call him tanuki-panda, but I wasn't exactly supposed to know about the tanuki part.

* * *

Team 7 entered and I mostly ignored their canon entrance.

Then in came Kabuto.

"AAAAAHHH! Glasses-creeper!" I couldn't help it.

I earned everyone staring at me.

"Fucking smooth Neko-chan," Hidan scoffed at me.

The tanuki-panda beside me narrowed his eyes. Probably wondering why I would shriek at Kabuto but hug him.

Kabuto gave me that evil glasses-glint look. "I do not know you three," he smiled in that politely creepy way. "Seems my nin-cards have some missing info".

"That's cause we're too fucking badass for your shit cards glasses-creeper," Hidan smirked at him.

"Must you two cause a scene?" Haku sighed heavily "Forgive my team mates. Our sensei tried curing them, he really did. It just... didn't work".

"You make it sound like there's something wrong with us, Yuki-kun," I snickered. Poor Haku. Getting stuck with me and Hidan.

"I feel there must be," Haku deadpanned, causing me to burst out laughing.

Gaara's eyes narrowed further. Tanuki-panda was probably sticking me in the 'clinically insane' category. But it wasn't like he had room to talk at the moment.

The Sound genin moved to attack the glasses-creeper.

Seeing him get hit was very satisfying, though I knew it was just for show.

"Quiet down you worthless bastards!"

Hello again Ibiki.

I smirked.

I ignored his rant on seating though I pouted.

Jashin damn it!

I was going to lose my seat next to Tanuki-panda!

* * *

After the seat shuffle, I wasn't sitting near anybody cool.

Jashin damn it all to hell.

I sulked.

Blah no cheating but we're really wanting you to cheat blah.

I glanced over the test paper.

And almost laughed.

This?

This was what qualified as chuunin knowledge?

I was an S-rank nuke-nin.

Asking my team these things was like asking someone in college to help with second grade homework.

Now I felt like I wanted to score a hundred just to be a troll.

So I started.

I felt the trickle of sand.

And grinned.

Writing 'Hello Panda-kun! I know that's you! But you can have the answers'.

A shift in the sand. Surprise and suspicion I guessed,

More writing 'I only want one thing. To touch your epic sand. Then my answers are all yours! Deal?'

A pause as I continued to answer the questions.

The sand shifted, gathering around my hand. Squeezing in a threat.

More writing 'Yes, I'm aware you could kill me, Panda-kun. But you really want to kill someone so interesting so soon? It's not like I'm asking anything major'.

Another pause.

His sand loosened from my hand. Staying there. Allowing me to touch it while the third eye went over my answers.

I petted his sand happily, even flipping my paper so he could have both sides.

The sand retreated.

Mission – Socialize with Tanuki-panda.

Success!

I was rather proud of myself.

So still planning on adopting him and making him an honorary Yūgure member.

I wished I could add a note for Ibiki on here. But that would draw too much attention to us too soon.

You got lucky this time Ibiki.

We shall meet again.

* * *

The tenth question was prompted.

Naruto did his little motivational speech.

The people that remained passed the test. Shocker.

Cue Anko's dynamic entrance.

She annoyed Ibiki. Therefore, she was now on my list of favorite characters. Go Anko!

Anko went through her spheal about cutting us in half before leading us away. So not scared of you, Anko. You got nothing on Miser-san.

Me and my 'team' fell back. Hidan and Haku covered for me so I could nip my thumb and perform a summoning.

A small gray cat appeared. Kage, a message runner. Having already been informed of his task earlier the small cat nodded to me before disappearing quicker than lightning.

Letting 'Karasu-sensei' know it was time to become an ANBU again.

I couldn't help my scowl at Anko's cutting Naruto's face just to be creepy. He was too adorable to do that to crazy lady! I scowled further at the one I knew to be pedo-snake giving her kunai back to her..

We signed the forms saying that if we died it was our own stupid faults.

We acquired an Earth scroll.

Now off to find Team 7 and be on pedo-snake control.

This time, Sasuke was getting out of the Forest without the curse mark.

We would make sure of that.

I grinned, looking forward to challenging the pedo-snake. He was always a character I'd hated with a passion.

Hidan had his bloodthirsty smirk in place, obviously eager for the violence.

Haku simply had a neutral look, neither excited nor frightened by what he knew was coming.

A Weasel-mask ANBU joined us as we lept through the trees.

"Bout time you fucking showed up. It's your pansy ass brother we're fucking protecting," Hidan greeted.

"Orochimaru will not get close to him," came the response.

I couldn't help edging away from the killer intent he already had around him.

Itachi angry was never a good thing.

Threatening Sasuke around him was a death-wish.

Pedo-snake would be entering a world of hurt.

I was completely okay with that.

* * *

**Omake – Hero Worship, Kakuzu POV**

He found himself scowling.

And giving his signature death-glare to the small children who were giving him puppy-eyes in return.

He was mildly disturbed to admit these were quite effective.

No wonder Toki usually got her way when she used them against Kisame.

"Yūgure-san! Yūgure-san! Thank you so much!"

They were actually _touching _him.

_**Hugging **_him.

Some brave ones even dared to attempt climbing him to cling onto his arms and back.

He wasn't sure if he should admire their bravery or wonder about their stupidity.

His temper flared.

But he was _not_ allowed to kill them. Payed to not cause any violence here.

"You're so cool!"

He found his ire cooling. Replaced by a sort of annoyed resignation.

Harmless children.

Couldn't kill them. Money involved.

"You must be really strong Yūgure-san!"

He sighed. "Thank you".

Found himself kneeling so that the children didn't actually have to try climbing him.

He would never speak of this incident.

Never.

Not even if they payed him.

It was best the others didn't know.

* * *

_Almost time for pedo-snake's first appearance -shudder-_

_Poor confused Tanuki-panda does not know what to make of insane Konekos_

_**Next time –**__ "__Hello, Sasuke-kun. I have a gift for you"._

"_Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu"._

_**Q&A! + Review Replies! **__(replies are short due to running late and the Q&A ^^;)_

_Gun – All the way into the fourth war and a bit past it._

_**(to Shark)**__: Someday do you want a family with Toki-chan?_

_**Kisame: **__"__Tch. In all honesty, I haven't thought much about it". -considering pause- "I think it would be nice. In the distant future. I refuse to allow the Lollipop bastard anywhere near my children, should we have them. I already have enough trouble with just Koneko"._

_**Toki: **__"__I heard that!"_

_Eternal – Thank you so much! :3_

_**(to Itachi): **__Can I hug you and play with your hair? Pretty please?_

_**Itachi: **__"__..." -silent stare for a few moments- "...Very well"._

_**Toki: **__"__What?! How come other people get to fangirl over you?!" D8_

_**Itachi: **__"__You never asked"._

_**Toki: **__"__Jashin damn it!"_

_Marina - -fangirl high five!-_

_Skewed – Thank you very much ^^_

_Shelby – You can print it out when it's done if you want xD Have an update_

_**(to author): **__You planning on other pairings outside of KisaToki?_

_**Me: **__Er... Yes and no. I want there to be other romances but I'm not sure what to do yet._

_Arcami – This team just needs the troll song as their theme._

_Shanny – Hope you liked it!_

_Awesome – That's what they're meant to do ^^_

_December – Yes, but HOW is he OOC? So I can fix it. And yes. Gaara is a panda._

_Blood – Yes, but you can't normally ask the characters xD_

_Wolves – No, no it's not xD_

_Shattered – That mental image is hilarious_

_**(to Yūgure): **__What are you planning on doing once you're done?_

_**Kisame: **__"__Who knows. Probably much of the same as we do normally"._

_**Toki: **__"__A family might be nice. But only after Lollipop is defeated"._

_**Dei: **__"__More art, un"_

_**Itachi: **__"__Return to Konoha. Explain things to Sasuke"._

_**Hidan: **__"__Bitch, I don't fucking know. Probably fucking stick around till I figure shit out"._

_**Kakuzu: **__"__Remain here. The money is good"._

_Yami – Pity the poor Shark for his separation anxiety._

_**(to author): **__Will you add more OCs?_

_**Me: **__I'm not sure. I want to do some side romances, but I don't know if adding more OCs will be a good thing for this story._

_Makmix – It's alright. I use a lot of smilies. _

_**(to Shark): **__Where are you? Keep your Koneko-chan from messing with Panda-chan!_

_**Kisame: **__"__Waiting on the signal outside of Konoha" -sigh- "And that woman... She does what she wants" -slight smirk- "But that's part of why I love her. Her spirit" -sulking and growling- "Even if she does that incessant fangirling on other people"._

_Anti – You'll have to see ^^ And you saw Snowy again not too long ago._

_**(to Miser): **__For 10000 ryo what do you feel for the other Yūgure members?_

_**Kakuzu: **__-counts money- Fine. -points to Hidan- Annoying whelp.-points to Dei- Annoying artist with explosives. -points to Itachi- Cunning and tolerable. -points to Zabuzu- Don't care. He annoys me. -points to Haku- Surprisingly tolerable. -points to Kisame- Also tolerable. -points to Toki- Clinically insane. But tolerable._

_Kasai – Your suggestion appeared here ;) Thank you!_

_**(to Toki): **__What are all the favorite characters you'd fangirl over?_

_**Toki: "**__Jashin, that's a long list. Not counting the ones you've already seen? Hmm..." -thinks- "I wish I could fangirl over Kakashi. Then there's Pervy Sage. I would've fangirled over Minato had I gotten the chance. I'd so fangirl over Madara if he wasn't evil. There's probably more, but they're all that comes to mind at the moment"._

_**(to author): **__You have any other writings? If so, where?!_

_**Me: **__No actually ^^; Focusing on Clearing Mist cause I'm too ADD to multi-task_

_Nazebaka – Thank you! ^^_

_**(to Dei): **__If you meet Sasori would you be willing to fight him?_

_**Dei: **__"__Yes, un. Though, I'd probably try one last time to see if he wouldn't join us, yeah"._

_**Toki: **__"__Stick in the mud puppet, joining Akatsuki. We're the fun ones"._

_Kitkat – It's alright, I got the manga open in another tab xD_

_TheSunset – Thank you so much! _

_Drago – Too late_

_Ariados -Indeed she is._

_Kage – Gaara knows not what to make of insane Konekos_

_**(to Miser): **__Can you hug Hidan?_

_**Kakuzu: **__-angry twitch- "__**NO.**__" __-murders zealot just out of spite-_

_**Hidan: **__"__Motherfucker! What'd I fucking do?!"_

_Deathless – These chapters kinda are separating both of those you mentioned -.-;_

_Klu – Thank you! I'm glad you like it ^^_

_**(to Zealot): **__Do you get a lot of female admirers?_

_**Hidan: **__-smirk- "I get all the bitches. Cause I'm just that fucking good"._

_**(to Dei): **__What do you do to your hair?!_

_**Dei: **__"__Don't call me Dei-dei, un" -angry twitch- "As for my hair, yeah, I just wash it. This is natural, un. Smell? My hair does __**not **__smell, hmm"._

_**Toki: **__-sniffs- "He smells like his art"._

_Guest – Thank you kindly -bows-_

_**(to Miser): **__How much does Toki pay you to hide her fangirl pictures from Kisame?_

_**Kakuzu: **__-smirk- "A significant amount. At least 1000 ryo a month if not more. Otherwise the Shark would get rid of them"._

_Kyprioth – Mwahahahhaha! :3_

_**(to Toki): **__What if a girl asked you out?_

_**Toki: **__._. "...What?" -loading process- "Er... I'd decline?"_

_**Kisame: **__"__Why is that a question, Koneko?"_

_**Toki: **__"__Cause I've never imagined a girl asking me out! I just don't swing that way. Besides, I have a sexy Shark"._

_When – I'm glad you like it and that I can make you happy ^^_

_Paul – Thanks! :3_

_**(to Toki): **__Do you miss anything from your old life?_

_**Toki: **__"__Jashin hell yes. I miss my old family. And don't get me started on my technology rant. Internet... how I miss you so..."_

_**(to Itachi): **__"__What do you plan on doing about your brother? You won't die again right?_

_**Itachi: **__"__I will tell Sasuke the truth, once he's old enough to handle it. And no. I have seen the repercussions of my death. It would serve no purpose for me to allow myself to get killed again"._

_**(to Itachi): **__You've got a chance at a future and at romance. Any secret crush from per-massacre __days?_

_**Itachi: **__"__... Hn"_

_**Toki: **__"__Tachi that's not an answer"._

_**Itachi: **__"__Aa"._

_**Toki: **__-sigh- "I do believe he's gone into antisocial mode. Guessing that's a yes"_

_Yuuki – Exactly. Pedo-snake can sneak in. So can they._

_Saskicheez – Hope you enjoyed that Omake ^^ She restrains herself on Ibiki. My thumb is double jointed so I can make it look like it's broken. So no worries here on your wrist. That does sound absolutely terrifying. You have scary friends. -pats- Don't feel left out._

_Fire – Tanuki is raccoon-dog, a subspecies of raccoon native to Japan ^^ Google them, they're adorable._

_**(to Dei): **__How do you like other members individually?_

_**Dei: **__"__Let's see, un" -nods to Itachi- "Danna is good, yeah". -looks at Zabuza/Haku- "Not sure about those two yet, yeah". -looks at Hidan- "Annoying, un". -looks at Kakuzu- "Absolutely terrifying, yeah". -looks at Kisame- "He's cool. Very relaxed, un". -looks at Toki- "Pretty sure she's not all right in the head, un. But she's fun"._

_Whitfish – Indeed she does xD_

_**(to author): **__When will we see Gai and Bee again?_

_**Me: **__When they're available to be dragged back into the story? ^^;_

_Caribbean – Gaara gets all the love._

_**(to Toki): **__What if you were reborn into Warring clans era?_

_**Toki: **__"__I'd do my best to keep the sexy that is Madara from going evil. Such a shame really"._

_**Kisame: **__-growls-_

_**Toki: **__"__Oh shush. You know I love you more"._

_Ajisai – They'll most likely save him if possible, yes._

_**(to Zealot): **__Is your like/love for Neko platonic or romantic?_

_**Hidan: **__"__A fucking mix of both, I guess. She's damn sexy when she's fucking covered in blood. Which happens a shit ton. Damn Sushi-bastard got a hot girl. That's just not fucking fair"._

_Skyrere – Tanuki -panda is confused._

_**(to Shark): **__How can you cope with the fangirling? Keep in mind she does this behind your back and one of her victims could date her._

_**Kisame: **__"__I'm well aware of her fangirling, actually. It's damn annoying" -snarls- "I cope by causing a lot of harm to trees. And bounties when possible. As for someone dating her..." -reaches for Samehada with sadistic smile- "Over my dead body"._

_Chibi – Toki is surrounded by hax. Therefore she gets one situational hax ability xD_

_**(to Plant): **__How'd Tobi react to the 'no'?_

_**Zetsu: **__"__...He did not _**take it very well. **_We will _**have scars for our failure**_"__._

_**(to Miser): **__How do you like being in charge of Sakuragakure's economy?_

_**Kakuzu: **__"__It is a challenge. I enjoy the money. The people however get on my nerves"._

_**(to Toki): **__How soft IS Kisame's hair?_

_**Toki: **__"__You ever pet a cat that was almost nothing but fluff? Where the cat IS the fluff? Take that feeling and multiply it times ten. That is Kisame's hair"._

_Uncertain – You should._

_Shiori – Tololololol. Poor Konoha genin. And Gaara._

_**(to Gaara): **__How would you feel if your fangirls started coming out of nowhere and calling you Tanuki and Panda?_

_**Gaara: **__-angry neutral-scowl- One was enough._

_Inazume – ALL the cibis! :3_

_Manami – Gaara gets a hug. Shika might. He IS a genius. _

_Ice – Because Toki is surrounded by hax. At least her hax is only in very certain situations. Otherwise the Kekkei Genkai of Averageness is a virtually useless ability._

_**(to Toki): **__If you joined the Akatsuki would you try to mess up plot or attempt to change Lollipop's mind?_

_**Toki: **__"__A bit of both. Though I'd doubt I'd succeed on Lollipop. He took therapy-jutsu to knock sense into"._

_Mars – Because Itachi was henged to look vastly different. Or at least different enough._

_**(to Toki): **__If not Kisame then who?_

_**Toki: **__"__Not the sexy Shark?" D8 -pauses to think- "I guess, if I had my pick, maybe the miser? Or Dei. One of those two"._

_**Kisame: **__-snarls-_

_**Kakuzu: **__"__..." -unsure of exactly how to respond to that-_

_**Dei: **__"__Um... I'm flattered, un?"_

_ W. Kathy – I am SO sorry. My brain has derp moments. Unfortunately you have been a victim of them. Many, many apologies. Please forgive me! ;~;_

_**(to Toki): **__You going to use anything special for the exams?_

_**Toki: **__"__Most likely not. I'll probably stick to my ninjutsu and weapons unless I'm backed into a corner"._

_Bibbit – Thank you!_

_Dee – They refrain because they have to maintain cover._


	36. Pedo-Snake and Glasses-Creeper

_Thank you for your kind attention to this story. It would be nothing without you dear readers -bows-_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Slight Violence

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_Going to admit it now – I got lazy with the preliminary fights._

* * *

There was the sound of chaos ahead of us.

Pedo-snake and Team 7 were already at it.

"Motherfucker," Hidan growled as we sped up, "The damn pedo-snake is fucking fast".

"This is not good," Haku agreed.

Itachi's killer intent spiked.

"Tachi, let's show the pedo-snake not to touch your otouto," I smirked.

"Agreed," the flash of red behind the Weasel mask signified his use of what I suspected was the Mangekyo.

"We most likely cannot kill him with only the four of us here," Haku pointed out.

"No," I shook my head, "But we can certainly kick his ass and drive him away to wait for the invasion".

"Fuck yeah, I like the way you think, bitch," Hidan grinned.

_A few moments later_

By the time we got there, pedo-snake had already put the five-pronged seal on Naruto.

He'd also successfully frozen Duck-butt and Sakura.

He mocked them by burning his scroll. "My name is Orochimaru. If you want to see me again then survive and pass this exam," he hissed in his usual creepy pedo-snake way.

"What the hell are you talking about?! We'd never want to see your face again!" Sakura shouted at him.

"Hehe... It won't go that way," he made a hand sign. He gave a large creepy smile, showing fangs.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun. I have a gift for you".

His neck elongated, streaking for the Duck-butt.

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu".

Pedo-snake got a mouthful of flames, hissing in pain as his neck retracted, leaving Duck-butt unmarked.

I couldn't help my laugh.

Go Itachi! Show that pedo-snake who's boss! I knew you were my favorite Uchiha for a reason!

Hidan jumped in, lashing out with his scythe, forcing the pedo-snake back.

Into a shower of senbon from both Haku and myself.

"See ANBU-san?" I spoke cheerfully "Those faceless bodies and what-not you mentioned led here".

"I suggest you fucking run, bastard," Hidan whirled his scythe in a threat.

"There are more ANBU on the way," Haku added.

Itachi picked up where we were going with this. He was practically shaking in rage, not wanting to let the pedo-snake go. But it was not a smart idea to challenge him just yet.

"Thank you, Sakuragakure genins," he adopted the formal tone of an ANBU captain. "We'll be sure to keep a close eye on yourselves and Team 7 so that Orochimaru cannot interfere with this exam any further".

Pedo-snake gave a pained angry hiss at us. But with his mouth burnt and more ANBU supposedly on the way, he sank into the tree limb for a tunneling jutsu, vanishing.

Probably off for his encounter with Anko.

Itachi turned, going briefly to each of the Team 7 members, still acting his role as an ANBU captain.

He lifted Naruto's shirt to expose his stomach.

"Kai!" he undid Orochimaru's five-pronged seal. "He will most likely not wake up until tomorrow," he informed the other members of Team 7.

"T-thank you... ANBU-san," Sakura shook.

Duck-butt went to pull Naruto over his should glaring at all of us. "Thank you," he muttered, obviously not liking thanking anybody but recognizing that we'd helped.

"W-why...?" Sakura questioned us.

"Why did we fucking help?" Hidan finished for her "Be-fucking-cause that bastard is a pedo-snake. You don't want any of your damn team members near him".

"Village loyalties aside, we are all genin," Haku continued, "We should stick together against threats like that".

"Don't worry, we'll leave you all in peace now," I grinned. We'd keep a lookout from afar.

Let the fights in the Forest continue as normal.

We'd just be insurance that pedo-snake would not return.

* * *

Since Sasuke and Sakura were both in bad condition, the fight with the Sound trio went mostly according to canon.

Sasuke even got the power surge, but this time, it was just him being hax. No curse mark involved.

Sakura still had to hold him back from going after the remaining Sound nin.

"Fucking boring. And we still need the damn Heaven scroll to keep up shitty appearances".

"I got it," I grinned, nipping my hand "Or rather these two got it". My Yin/Yang thief cats appeared with a poof.

"To-!" I covered Kasai's mouth before he could finish his bouncing greeting.

"Right now, I'm just Neko," I informed "We're looking for a Heaven scroll. Don't steal it from any main Konoha genin or the Sand genin. Anyone else is fair game. If you can get it from the glasses-creeper that's even better".

"Of course, Neko-sama," Mizu dipped her head and the duo streaked off into the forest.

"Still fucking calling hax on those," Hidan informed.

"Says the immortal," I retorted.

"We will watch Team 7 for as long as possible," Itachi ignored our bickering.

"Of course ANBU-san," Haku nodded, "Orochimaru will not get near Sasuke-san a second time".

"Even if he fucking does, it's not like you can't set his ass on fire," Hidan snickered.

"Oh! Stick him in Tsukuyomi! Then, once you're done with that set him on fire with Amaterasu! Maybe even make him go 'katsu' by borrowing some of Dei's clay!" I offered.

"Neko-chan your so damn sexy when you talk violent like that. Why are you with the Sushi-bastard?" Hidan whined.

"I do not care how Orochimaru goes down. So long as Sasuke is safe," Itachi responded, though I sensed he was considering following my advice and going for the most violent end he could possibly create.

Nope.

Never _ever_ making Itachi angry. It was unhealthy.

_Some time later_

"We got it from some Ame genin," Mizu informed as Kasai deposited the Heaven scroll.

"We tried the glasses-creeper, but he got into the Tower," Kasai pouted.

"Jashin damn it. Oh well," I sighed, "Thanks guys, see you later".

"Good luck Neko-chan!" Kasai chirped.

"Farewell Neko-sama," Mizu dipped her head.

Both poofed away.

"Off to the Tower then. ANBU-san, can you see if you can't go find our sensei? Team 7 is in the Tower and safe," I grinned at Itachi.

"Very well. Farewell Sakuragakure genins," Weasel flickered away.

"Now lets go make it before the time limit! Race ya Hida-kun!"

"You're fucking on, Neko-chan".

"Must you two be so energetic?"

* * *

We literally came crashing in right as Team 7 summoned Iruka.

"Right on time. I suppose all six of you pass the test, even if the Sakura genin team weren't the ones who summoned me. You still made it," Iruka grinned.

"Iruka-sensei! What about the missing word on the wall?" Naurto demanded.

Iruka went the the whole speech about the chuunin motto.

My 'team' just looked at each other.

Nothing like hearing a chuunin motto to make an S-rank nuke-nin feel awkward.

_A few moments later_

With the addition of us, there were now eight passing teams.

"Panda-kun!" I greeted "You all passed!"

Gaara gave me that neutral scowl. Probably had been hoping we wouldn't make it.

"Well done," I smiled.

Silent glare.

"Oh come on, cheer up. You get to see if I'm really as interesting as I seem," I refused to let Tanuki-panda's antisocial nature dampen this one-sided conversation.

"Why do you insist on talking to me?" he finally responded.

"Cause you're awesome," I replied bluntly, "And adorable. I'm serious about wanting to adopt you and keep you".

"..." silent stare. Tanuki-panda was really unsure what to make of me.

Hayate appeared coughing, as usual.

Poor sick guy. I fully intended on saving him and then making him get checked out by Tsunade.

He told us about the prelims and the offer for us to drop out.

The only difference was that this time was that glasses-creeper didn't quit.

Probably wanting information on us for his nin-cards.

"Hida-kun, Yuki-kun," I spoke softly to them, "No special abilities. Avoid anything besides weapons and taijutsu".

We couldn't afford letting glasses-creeper know much of anything about us.

"Hai, Neko-chan," Haku nodded.

"Fucking fine. Damn boring though," Hidan grouched.

"Twenty-four, no drop-outs," Hayate coughed, "That makes twelve matches".

Yay.

Sarcasm fully intended.

"This controls your fate," he pointed to the unveiled computer. "First match".

Hida vs Akado Yori

"Fucking first?" Hidan smirked "I like this damn computer".

Hidan was up against the chakra drainer. This would be interesting.

"May I request a different opponent?" Yori's task was to fight Sasuke after all.

The 'sensei' that was Orochimaru was scowling. Our own Karasu-sensei was standing there, hands in pockets, looking as if absently thinking of other things.

I knew Itachi was really being a super sneaky Weasel about watching the pedo-snake.

"No," Hayate coughed with a glare, "You fight who you're given. Or you forfeit. Simple as that".

Yori scowled under his mask.

Pedo-snake was having a hard time controlling his own expression from becoming a worse scowl.

There was a subtle motion from Kabuto. Probably a signal for the go-ahead since he wanted info.

"Very well. I will fight this... Hida," Yori went for the center of the arena.

"Everyone not in the match please go to the upper levels," Hayate nodded.

"Kick his ass, Hida-kun!" I called walking up. It was the agreed upon code.

'Kick his ass' was simple. It meant Hidan was free to win so long as he refrained from jutsu.

'Be careful' would've meant he had to lose.

"Will do Neko-chan," Hidan smirked at me.

Now to see how the chakra drainer liked going against our local immortal zealot.

It really was a pity Hidan couldn't sacrifice him.

Yori launched at Hidan, obviously going for the hit to drain his chakra.

Hidan backed up. And side stepped at the last moment. Letting Yori run into the wall full force.

"He's fast!" someone commented.

I snickered.

You should see the zealot when he's not playing around.

Plus, you haven't _seen_ fast until you've gone up against Itachi.

Yori growled, turning moving to attack again.

"That all you got fucker?" Hidan whirled with a kick to send him into another wall.

I was beginning to suspect the zealot had a wall fetish with how much he enjoyed knocking opponents into them.

This went on for a few moments more. Lunge, Dodge. Get kicked or hit into a wall or sometimes the floor.

Hidan got bored, finally following after his prey. He rested his scythe against Yori's neck while the guy was recovering from his latest trip into solid brick.

"Yield bastard. Or I'm digging my damn scythe into your fucking spine".

"Yield," Yori snarled.

"Match winner: Hida from Sakuragakure".

"Go Hida-kun!" I cheered.

Glasses-creeper was obviously unhappy he hadn't gotten anything useful out of that outside of Hidan's (much reduced) speed and the fact he enjoying making opponents eat dirt.

"Next match," Hayate stated. Shino vs Zaku Abumi

Cue canon fight.

Shino is such a bad ass.

I wish I could fangirl over him. Sadly, fangirling over Tanuki-panda take precedence.

"Next". Tsurugi Misumi vs Yuki

"Kick his ass too, Yuki!" I cheered.

Haku nodded as he jumped down into the arena.

All I knew about Misumi was his speed and ability to snap necks.

But I knew Haku was faster. He was the only one of us that gave Itachi a decent spar speed wise.

"I'll end this quickly," Misumi dashed for Haku.

"As you wish," Haku gave that creepy pleasant smile that reminded me of Sai.

Then he flickered out of sight, reappearing behind Misumi to jab him in the neck with senbon.

Misumi dropped.

"Temporary death state," Haku informed Hayate, "But he cannot continue".

Everyone stared at Haku with open mouths.

Glasses-creeper was furious that he got basically zilch info again.

"What's with these Sakura genin?" someone muttered.

Hehe... if only you knew.

"Next". Ino vs Kankuro

I burst out laughing.

Sucks to be you Ino!

I doubt I need to say how pathetically fast this fight was.

Kankuro wiped the floor with Ino.

And was a bad ass while doing so.

No such luck for you though cat-puppet! My fangirlism only goes for your brother!

"Next". Sasuke vs Sakura

I fell over on the floor I was laughing so hard.

Jashin, I loved this computer!

"F-fight Sasuke-kun?!" Sakura protested "I-I can't!"

Sasuke glared at her, obviously wanting a match to show his skills.

"Do you forfeit Sakura-san?" Hayate stared at her as he coughed.

"H-hai! I forfeit!" she nodded.

"Winner by default Uchiha Sasuke. Next match".

Sasuke sulked, sending death glares at his kunoichi team mate.

Temari vs Tenten.

Another canon match.

I always knew these things were rigged.

I couldn't help my grimace watching the match. Tenten, why must you suck?! We have the same weapon! Be more bad ass!

Temari won, as per canon.

"Next". Kabuto vs Neko

"NOT THE GLASSES-CREEPER!" I whined loudly.

Jashin damn you computer!

"Kick ass Neko-chan!" Hidan sniggered at me.

"Good luck," Haku offered.

"Be careful," Itachi warned.

Well at least I knew he was going to have to hold back. He couldn't show his real strength yet.

Still, I did _**not**_ want to be fighting glasses-creeper solo!

Where's my sexy Shark when I need him?!

I jumped down into the arena with another whine. "Glasses-creeper," I greeted.

"Neko-chan, I fail to see what I've done to deserve that nickname," Kabuto offered his oh-so-very-fake friendly smile.

"Cause you're a glasses-creeper that's why," I answered scowling at him.

"Go Kabuto!" Naruto cheered.

I slumped.

Break my heart why don't you Naru?

I forgave him though. Right now he thought Kabuto was a good guy.

I was probably going to have to break my no ninjutsu rule to win this.

I guessed if I hid the hand signs and whispered what I intended to use, I could keep Kabuto from learning much about me either.

Silently I thanked Jashin for recruiting Haku and Zabuza.

Zabuza was a porcupine Demon, but with Haku's insistence they'd both taught us about one handed signs.

Giving Yūgure another tool in our arsenal.

Shamelessly I moved into a fighting stance, covering the hand sign I wanted.

I felt the familiar sensation of the Rai Ken speed boost.

Kabuto whirled into a taijutsu attack.

Sorry, glasses-creeper. About to show you what I did for my genin exams.

Normally, my speed was good, but I was outclassed by Itachi, Haku, and sometimes even Kisame.

With Rai Ken active though?

I could almost keep pace with our resident Uchiha.

I flickered forward, launching my electrified senbon, not caring where I hit.

I wasn't going for the kill. I knew Kabuto was **_much_** too strong for me alone.

What I was hoping was that he was underestimating me and that I'd get the paralysis.

Kabuto cursed, freezing up.

Teach you to underestimate people glasses-creeper.

I'm glad he did though. Otherwise he'd have handed my ass to me on a silver platter.

I waltzed up, dropping the Rai Ken so he couldn't sense what'd I'd done, putting a kunai to his throat. "Dead," I chimed.

"Winner Neko of Sakuragakure".

And so the matches went on, canon fights for the rest of the period.

* * *

**Kurenai POV**

That girl...

She looked so familiar.

But she was different...

And much too young to be that girl she'd faced in her own chuunin exams...

A relative of some sort perhaps?

Either way, she was quite skilled.

She found herself wondering about that Sudachi girl for the first time in a long while. That kunoichi was supposedly an S-rank nuke-nin now.

How things change...

She vaguely wondered, if they met again, if she'd be the victor in a fight this time around.

After all, they don't give out S-rank to people who didn't earn it.

She sighed at herself as she moved to watch the remaining fights.

One strangely familiar girl and she was wondering odd things.

* * *

**Omake – Strange, Gaara POV**

He was confused.

For someone who was normally very certain about himself and his actions, confusion was a rarity.

He didn't like being confused.

Normally, most everyone who he came across was in danger of being fed to Mother.

He'd almost killed her to do so.

Then she'd called him 'panda' of all things and had touched him.

_Touched_. _**HIM**_.

He'd been so shocked, his mind had gone quiet for the first time since he'd been born.

Even Mother's voice was silent.

She insisted on being friendly.

No matter what he'd done to scare her away.

Very... odd kunoichi.

He found her interesting.

There was the distinct feeling she'd ended her preliminary fight as quickly as she could.

He wanted to know more.

She was psychotic. She _must_ be to approach him so openly. Insisting on the fact he was... adorable.

That she would... adopt him and... keep him.

Interesting.

He hoped for a chance to fight her.

He might not even offer her blood to Mother.

Perhaps, instead, it would be she would would end up being kept as a pet.

After all, psychopaths should stick together.

* * *

_Really not happy with these fights, but we all know how the preliminary matches went and I didn't want to linger over them -sigh-_

_Poor Koneko having to face glasses-creeper alone. Be very glad he was underestimating you AND holding back. Only reason she won that._

_**Next time –**__ "__Be careful Hida-kun!"_

"_You've got to be fucking kidding me! I gotta fight that shitty bastard?!"_

...

"_My my, Itachi-kun. Wasn't expecting to facing you during this invasion"._

"_Orochimaru. It is in your best interest to retreat. Or I will make you"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Gun – Last chapter was a tad short, yes. This one's longer though, even with my lazy fight scenes._

_Marina – One should not mock S-rank kunoichi. It tends to be... unhealthy xD Poor Miser getting swarmed by children._

_Kasai – Don't worry, I did. Poor poor Koneko. Glasses-creeper -shudders-_

_Hunternin – Thank you ^^_

_Heartless – I do not intend to stop until this story id done :) Glad you like it!_

_Shattered – I'm not entirely sure where you got that, but that mental image is adorable._

_Cjhoax – Glad you though it was funny!_

_LadyLianna – I'm lad you like it! I'm doing my best ^^_

_Argent – I don't know about more OCs. Toki take a __**lot **__o__f work from becoming a Sue by herself. I fear I would not be so successful with more. Currently the running suggestion is Tsukuyomi then Amaterasu plus being turned into art. Which is pretty brutal but can be improved._

_Arcami – It's been a rather long time for Kurena, plus Toki's henged herself to look slightly different. Pedo-snake eats fireball here. And gets an angry Uchiha again next chapter. No breaks for the Pedo-snake! As for Mangetsu and Bee, I might give them an Omake. This one belonged to Tanuki-panda though._

_Wolves – Hidan is awesome like that. And agreed. Ouch. Alas, can't do much to pedo-snake just yet. But they are certainly planning on it._

_Inumaru – Amaterasu is the current suggestion actually xD Plus, it's alright. I adore any attention this story gets ^^ _

_Ariados – The Shark is very used to her fangirl tendencies. Though he hates them. Not sure how he;s going to react when she indicated Tanuki-Panda and goes 'I'm keeping him. He's our son now'. Lolz. Poor Kisame xD_

_Awesome – You'll have to see when she tries attempting to keep him. That whole scene is very funny xD They did actually (or in Toki's case someone who wasn't there before). In fact, I let all the proper people win. I'm sneaky like that :3_

_Pierce – Thank you! :D And you get more tanuki-panda plus a Gaara Omake. _

_Yuuki – I know. They have fricken code phrase to indicate if they should win or lose cause they're technically so much higher than everybody else there xD _

_Just – Although fangirl over a psychopath leads him to think your a psychopath as well. Which might not be a good thing._

_Sofie – Have an update then ^^_

_Chibi – Guess you'll just have to wait until next Q&A then ^^ I already said I was giving one for when I hit the epilogue. I might do more. They... aren't really acting honestly. They're just being their psychotic selves while poor Haku gets dragged along. Poor poor Haku. Gaara now officially dubs Koneko a fellow psychopath._

_Guest – I highly doubt he could do that. And Koneko is crazy so if the sand did communicate it would tell him to run for the hills._

_Saskicheez – How does anything beat the adorableness that is a cat asleep on top of you? ._. That is beyond the scale of adorable. Indeed. Next time Ibiki -evil stare- You got lucky. I've actually used my double-jointed thumb to be all 'My thumb is broken!' and people believe me. Then I'm all -trollface- Double-jointed. Problem? You have an absolutely terrifying friend. -goes to hide behind a pillow- Poor Tanuki-panda indeed. And go to sleep so you can think straight xD_

_Nazebaka – Glad you liked it ^^ The Sakura genins continue their trolling escapades. Go forth and conquer your stuff!_

_Blood – Maybe. Maybe not. You never know when I'll update ;)_

_Dimensional – Once daily ^^_

_December – Not really... Cause Dei takes every chance he gets to turn stuff into art already... ._._

_Eternal – I'm not so sure about the loving part. Hidan is awesome. He's one of my personal favorite Akatsuki members. I wouldn't blackmail the miser if I were you. Not a smart idea. I do plan on doing it at least one more time ^^_

_Kyprioth – It's a very strong maybe on the side pairings. Poor Hidan all the good violent women are taken. Tachi and Gaara are so hard to pair up even with Ocs it's not even funny. HidanxAnko. That's a bloodbath waiting to happen -shudder- _

_Okuto – Hidan is one of my favorite Akatsuki, you can probably tell. Forest of Death = creeping on Team 7 so they can protect them and having thief cats go steal a scroll xD I'll adore any fanart I get 83 So, yes please, send a link when done!_

_Ethorin – Toki's fangirling is the most fun thing to write. Ever. There's not that many females in Naruto... And don't waste energy fanboying over Sakura xP So, I've no idea._

_Ajisai – I don't think raccoon-dogs are really part dog. I think that's just what they're called. As for them getting along, who knows. Not creepers are not cool. As for those two, maybe. This Omake however belongs to Tanuki-panda._

_Shadow – Hidan doesn't understand the meaning of subtle._

_Skewed – Hope it didn't disappoint ^^;_

_Girl – Pity the poor genins. Matched up against S-rank nuke-nin. Much pity indeed._

_TheThird – The Omake sort of gives you that. Kinda. ^^;_

_Free – Gaara is just adorable in general xD_

_Rose – There's a complete description of Toki on my profile ^^ plus her known cats too_

_Uncertain – Poor Kakuzu got swarmed by children. What's not to love? :3_

_Shiori – Sakuragakure is technically real. But at this point in time it's a civilian Village. They're passing it off as __**very **__recently converted to a Hidden Village. We're almost to the real part of the exams. So close!_

_Renna – Thank you so much ^^ Dei and an Uzumaki? If she was anything like Kushina that'd be an explosion waiting to happen ._._

_Ceres – Alas, she had to maintain cover._

_Nerd – Thank you! Glad you like it :3 Have an update_

_Guest – Pfft. Akira-san's defiance of logic was fairly unique to her. Toki is certainly specialized now. A ranged fighter specializing in bringing the enemy down before they can get close. I'd like to this Toki's grown into a very kickass kunoichi ^^_

_Ice – I have honestly no idea. I'm going to guess a yes/no. He's aware of what's touching it and where but it's not really a 'feeling' per say. Just a guess._


	37. Yūgure to the Rescue!

_As always, thank you very much!_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Violence

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_And now for the moment you've all been waiting for..._

* * *

"Draw a piece of paper" the Hokage instructed us as a bowl was passed around.

We obeyed.

"Now then I'd like you to tell us the number on that paper in order starting from left to right".

"5" Dosu, the only remaining sound-nin started.

"I got 3" Naruto muttered.

"7" Sasuke sulked.

"9" Temari answered.

"2" Kankuro replied

"8" Gaara aka Tanuki-panda replied flatly

"4" Neji stated.

"1" Shino continued.

"11" Shikamaru drawled.

"6" Haku reported.

"12" Hidan grumbled.

"10" I finished.

"Now I will reveal to you the final tournament!" Hiruzen announced.

"Huh?!" Naruto yelped.

"That's what we drew numbers for?!" Shikamaru's eyes went wide.

Ibiki flipped his clipboard in dramatic fashion. How I wished I could troll him.

Couldn't yet. Had to maintain cover.

But soon, very soon.

Since the pairs were even, everyone had a match.

Shino vs Kankuro, canon

Naruto vs Neji, more canon

Dosu vs Haku, now _that _would be interesting. Oh wait, Tanuki-panda feeds Dosu to Mother. Never mind. Automatic win then.

Sasuke vs Gaara, which was canon and would therefore be delayed.

Me vs Temari. Damn. I'd have to lose or forfeit. Why? Because the last match.

Hidan vs Shikamaru.

I really couldn't help it. I burst out laughing.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! I gotta fight that shitty bastard?!" Hidan whined.

"Be careful Hida-kun!" I informed him. Giving him the code word to tell him to lose or forfeit his match too. Hidan sulked further, grumbling.

Haku gave me a look, wondering why I hadn't bothered tell him to win or lose his match.

"You'll do great Yuki-kun!" Aka wait and I'll tell you later.

Haku nodded in acceptance.

"You will have one month to train for these matches" Hiruzen informed us "Good luck".

* * *

"So I will not have to fight at all?" Haku asked as we all gathered in our hotel room.

"Nope. While we're waiting on the final matches Dosu pulls an idiot and outright challenges Tanuki-panda during a full moon. Shukaku is always worse during a full moon" I leaned back in my chair "I wonder if we can't somehow convince Pervy Sage to take a look at Tanuki-panda's seal. That way we can both later prevent his capture by the idiots and have poor Tanuki-panda sane".

"How the fuck do you suggest we do that, bitch?" Hidan grouched.

"It would be very difficult" Itachi sighed at having to agree with the zealot.

"I know. Cause we can't have his seal fixed until after the invasion, if we can even convince Pervy Sage to fix it at all. Otherwise, we'll lose a lot of the character development that happens" I sulked. "Maybe an anonymous letter?"

"Why the fuck would the damn Sage believe a fucking letter?" Hidan retorted.

"He's got a spy network" I was grasping at straws, I knew "If we could frame being one of his spies informing him of Tanuki-panda being a jinchuuriki with a faulty seal, he might just investigate".

"That's a very... uncertain plan" Haku was trying to be polite.

"A damn shitty plan if you ask me" Hidan didn't bother.

"I got nothing else" I pouted "And Pervy Sage is probably the only person with enough knowledge of Fuuinjutsu to fix Tanuki-panda's seal".

"Perhaps we can try" Itachi offered "It is not the best plan. But, Jiraiya is an unknown factor. It might not _need_ to be the best plan. The Sannin might receive anonymous tips from his spies often. We can only hope he investigates".

"Tachi, can I borrow a crow then?" I gave the Uchiha the infamous puppy eyes. "We can deliver the message right before the final rounds. Where it'll be too late for Pervy Sage to fix the seal, even if he wants to".

"Then the invasion can occur like it is supposed to" Itachi nodded in understanding. He'd let me borrow a crow later, after the month had passed.

"How the fuck do we know if the pervert bastard will do anything?" Hidan demanded.

"We don't" I sighed.

"Then we can only hope" Haku offered, trying to be optimistic.

_Some time later – Full moon_

"Fucking sand-bastard is impressive" Hidan commented upon seeing the sand wave that was Gaara feeding Dosu to Mother.

The rest of us gave him a 'be quiet!' look.

We had to find the Sound/Sand people discussing the invasion so we could save Hayate.

There!

Hayate and the Sand sensei who's name I forgot flickered to the top of a building.

We were too far away!

Had to stop them!

"Haku" I murmured softly.

"Hai" he replied, moving through hand signs rapidly.

Just as they lunged for each other ice formed, freezing them in pace. Preventing either from attacking the other.

"Careful, Hayate-san" I spoke as we landed "This one has some nasty tricks".

Haku made another hand sign, releasing Hayate.

"W-who...?!" he stared at us coughing in confusion "Sakura genin?!"

"As a reward for helping, we'd like one thing. There's a woman called Tsunade. If you ever get the chance, you're to go talk to her about your illness" I smiled.

"What?! Why? Why are you-"

Itachi held up a hand, stopping Hayate ramble "Go Hayate-san. We'll handle this".

Hayate paused, unsure.

"Fucking go already bastard" Hidan stalked for the Sand sensei.

Finally, nodding, Hayate flickered away.

"Now bastard, I haven't fucking sacrificed anyone to Jashin-sama in damn forever" Hidan drew a kunai, not going to bother with his scythe since Haku had the man frozen in place "Let's do this nice and fucking slow".

_A long while later. Back at the hotel_

"So now Leaf knows of the Sand/Sound alliance" I was rather satisfied with our efforts. "Hope sickly Hayate does go to Tsunade".

"They also fucking know we're involved with this shit" Hidan pointed out.

"They will most likely pretend not to know anything. They'll want to spring the trap" Itachi mused "We will be under surveillance though".

"Pretend not to notice" Haku offered "Go about like it never happened".

"Because soon enough we get to show that pedo-snake isn't the only one that can sneak into Konoha" I grinned.

* * *

_The Final Tournament_

Genma was standing there waiting for us as we arrived. Guess Hayate was laying low.

Long time no see pervy senbon user!

I couldn't help my grin, practically hearing Mangetsu's voice going off in my head, yelling insults.

Ah, Snowy... it was too bad he had to be loyal to Kiri. I missed him sometimes.

"Yuki of Sakuragakure, your opponent has dropped out. You will have to wait for the winners of the first round to be decided before you receive an opponent" Genma informed Haku.

"Hai, proctor-san" Haku bowed slightly.

"All other matches will proceed as normal" Genma continued.

"Hey! What about Sasuke? He's not here yet!" Naruto protested.

"If he doesn't appear when it's time for his match, he will lose automatically" the senbon-user answered.

Pfft. Rather they'd just delay the match until Duck-butt graced us with his presence.

"First match, Shino Aburame of Konoha vs Kankuro of Suna" Genma announced.

"I forfeit" Kankuro proclaimed before we even had a chance to move.

"..." Shino was most likely giving him a death glare from behind his glasses.

"... Very well. Second match, Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha vs Neji Hyuuga of Konoha" Genma announced.

The two glared at each other as the rest of us went to the stands.

"Go Naruto!" I cheered shamelessly.

This fight was epic in both the manga and anime. Seeing it with my own eyes was going to be even more so.

I must say, seeing Naruto using therapy-jutsu on someone in person is rather impressive to watch.

"You kicked ass, Naruto!" I celebrated as he knocked Neji out.

"Next match" Genma announced.

Cue waiting around for no-show Duck-butt.

People started getting antsy.

"The match between Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha and Gaara of Suna has been delayed" Genma finally drawled after a while. "Next match. Temari of Suna vs Neko of Sakura".

"Forfeit!" I called, earning myself a glare from Temari and what I assumed was a confused/angry stare from one Tanuki-panda.

Sorry guys, gotta save my energy for the pedo-snake.

"...Very well" Genma sighed. "Next match Hida of Sakura vs Shikamaru of Konoha".

"Fucker" Hidan grumbled "That pineapple bastard".

"Save your energy" Itachi reminded.

"Fucking fine" Hidan sulked then raised his hand. "I fucking forfeit too!"

He earned himself surprised stares. Mostly for his language. Shikamaru was probably astounded that Hidan didn't want to fight him.

"... Fine" Genma sighed. Duck-butt was still a no show. He had to think quickly. "Next match, the default winners: Temari of Suna and Shikamaru of Konoha".

"Kick ass Shikamaru!" I cheered, back in fangirl mode.

"Do you seriously have to fucking cheer for that bastard?" Hidan complained.

"Oh be quiet, Hida-kun, he's not sticking you in a hole this time around".

Cue canon fight with Shikamaru's forfeit at the end.

Itachi released two birds. One was Dei's clay bird, which streaked off to signal the others. The other was the borrowed crow, carrying the message for Pervy Sage.

Almost time.

"As Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha is not here by default..."

_Crack! _A flash of lightning and Sasuke and Kakashi arrived in their overly dramatic way.

Show-offs.

"Then the next match will be Gaara of Suna vs Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha" Genma corrected himself.

"Go Panda-kun!" I cheered.

Itachi looked at me.

"I can't cheer for him without calling him Duck-butt, Karasu-sensei. And that gives away the game" I explained.

A pause before Itachi gave the closest thing to a sigh of resignation an Uchiha was capable of.

"There are more than eight ANBU this time around" Haku murmured as the fight began.

"Fucking old man got his shit straight with the damn info the sick fucker gave him" Hidan agreed.

"They will help drive off the invasion quickly" Itachi agreed quietly.

Sasuke bounced up the wall for the start of the Chidori.

"Others are fucking slow" Hidan commented.

"They probably just want a grand entrance" I laughed.

"They will be here" Itachi agreed.

"Even Zabuza-san wouldn't want to miss this fight" Haku nodded.

"Blood! My blood!" Tanuki-panda yelled in pain as the cocoon broke. I frowned. Poor adorable Tanuki-panda.

Glasses-creeper engaged the genjutsu.

"Kai!" the four of us released it from ourselves.

"Hope Dei remembers his bit" I murmured as the Sound Four leaped up to follow the fake Kazekage.

"Of fucking course he remembers. He wouldn't miss his damn chance for showing off his fucking art" Hidan scoffed.

"And in three... two... one" the giant three-headed snake appeared.

"Time yet, bitch?"

"Wait for it..."

Sasuke darted off after Gaara.

There was a large shadow.

"Objective complete, un!" came a familiar voice as the barrier around the Hokage went up.

"Now" I grinned.

Karasu-sensei jumped as the clay bird flew down, landed easily beside his partner.

Hida jumped for the roof, landing beside the miser, and produced ryo.

Yuki went off to the side, landed beside Zabuza on another roof with a smile.

I felt a familiar presence land beside me.

As one, my 'team' dispelled our henges and Itachi released his genjutsu.

"You have no idea how much I missed you, Koneko" the Shark informed, offering my things to me.

I undid the Sakura hitai-ate, replacing it with my usual scratched one. Then I donned my haori before giving Kisame a kiss.

"Missed you too. But for now, we should probably focus on the invasion" I smiled.

"I hate it went you're right" Kisame sulked, but reached for Samehada anyway.

I looked at the others.

Haku, Hidan, and Itachi were wearing their old things once more as well.

Yūgure was revealed in all our insane nuke-nin glory.

"Come on, Koneko. The faster we do this, the sooner I get to hold you" Kisame jumped into the fray, fully intent on cutting down any Sound shinobi he saw.

"Right behind you" I reached for my kusarigama, moving to fight with him.

The other partner pairs split up going in different directions to help Konoha fight off the invasion.

Poor Leaf shinobi wouldn't know what to make of a bunch of nuke-nins helping them.

"My second eternal rival!" Kisame paused mid-swing at a Sound nin "You've come to help! Yosh! Our fires of youth shall burn bright against these invaders!" The Shark's eye twitched but he nodded to the Green Beast in greeting.

Or Gai could just completely accept our help, no questions asked.

That works too.

* * *

The invasion was going rather quickly. Thanks to us and the fact the Hokage had more ANBU this time around, the invaders had been mostly routed.

"It's about time we got rid of that barrier and let Itachi have some real fun" Kisame mused.

"I agree. The fight with pedo-snake is getting too close to the Reaper Death Seal for my liking" I nodded. I made hand signs, making lightning spark wildly, signaling to the clay bird that had been helping keep the three-headed snake away from Konoha.

The bird instantly veered back to us.

The Zombie duo would handle the snake now. Hidan would enjoy the fun.

Zabuza and Haku could continue just killing Sound-nins like they'd been doing.

"Dei! Time for you to turn those idiots into art!" I called up.

"On it, un!" Deidara smirked. "Katsu!"

Four small explosions.

The sound four were sent flying, dispelling the two barriers they'd put up.

"Have fun Tachi!" I grinned as the Uchiha flickered into the trees made by the Shodai Hokage.

* * *

**Itachi POV**

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu" he launched a fireball at the snake and the two dead Hokages, forcing them back.

"You alright, Hokage-sama?" he questioned as he landed beside Hiruzen "There's no need for the Death seal now".

Hiruzen stared at him in shock but nodded.

"Why...?"

"Yūgure seeks to change fate. And I am still Konoha's Uchiha Itachi" he answered, turning to face the three opponents.

"My, my, Itachi-kun. Wasn't expecting to be facing you during this invasion" the snake hissed with a smirk.

"Orochimaru. It is in your best interest to retreat" he knew his Mangekyo would be spinning in clear threat as he motioned to the fact the barrier was gone. "Or I will make you".

"Make me?" the snake laughed at him "And how do you intend to do that?"

_Hiruzen used the Reaper seal to make it so pedo-snake couldn't use his arms or do anymore jutsu._ Toki had told him this earlier.

What he intended would most likely have the same effect.

"Not going to attack first? Then I will" The two Hokages lashed out at him.

A wall of orange easily deflected the attacks.

"W-what..?!" Orchimaru hissed at seeing the ethereal beast form around himself and the Sandaime.

"Susano'o" he answered, feeling himself smirk "A defense even you cannot counter. An ability granted by the Mangekyo".

"Allow me to show you another. Amaterasu" black flames flared to life, first consuming the former Hokages, then going to latch onto the snake's arms.

Orochimaru screeched in pain.

He flickered forward, moving to so that the snake was forced to meet his deadly gaze.

"And the final one. Tsukuyomi".

The bastard was _his_.

By the time the snake was released from the torture, Amaterasu would have damaged his arms beyond repair.

Stealing away all of the snake's jutsu.

It was a shame he couldn't kill him yet.

But soon... very soon.

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Kisame" I spoke as we ran where the fight with Gaara should be occurring

"Yes, Koneko?" the Shark grinned at me

"Remind me to never _ever_ piss off Itachi".

"Will do. Itachi-san is rather terrifying when pissed".

We landed just as Sasuke and the remaining two Sand siblings did.

"All done with therapy-jutsu, I see. Poor Naru and Tanuki-panda. You guys look rather rough" I chirped.

"P-panda?" Gaara stared at me wide-eyed. He recognized the nickname.

"The rogue kunoichi we keep meeting" Sasuke glared at me.

"Ne... names?" Naruto was so exhausted he could only manage a smile and a few words.

"I'm Toki Sudachi" I went over to them both, giving them a light does of medical ninjutsu. "I was posing as Neko earlier". Tanuki-panda's eyes widened further as I confirmed his suspicions. Naruto gaped at me.

"Y-you!" he pointed in shock.

"Kisame Hoshigaki" the Shark introduced himself "You three," a nod to the Sand Siblings, "were under orders from a false leader. Orochimaru killed the true Kazekage".

"What?!" the older siblings protested as poor Tanuki-panda tried to recover his brain.

"There, that should help ease the ache" I stepped back from the two jinchuuriki. I even went over to slightly help Duck-butt and Sakura. "I don't have enough energy left over from the invasion to help more".

"You three should go" Kisame informed the Suna shinobi "There's no more point in being here".

Kankuro and Temari looked at each other before moving to collect their brother.

"Don't forget Panda-kun. I've unofficially adopted you" I winked at Gaara. He was still giving me that blank shocked stare.

"Why was I not consulted in this, Koneko?" Kisame gave me a flat stare.

"But Kisame~ He's adorable~!" I protested.

The Shark scowled at me.

"Actually, there's one more thing before you three leave" I knew this voice.

I turned, doing my best not to hop about excitedly.

Pervy Sage!

Jashin damn it! I can't fangirl over him right now!

"Your brother's seal does appear to need some work. That tip I got was rather accurate" Jiraiya glanced at us.

"Guilty as charged" I smiled back.

The Sannin stared at Kisame and I. He made no offensive moves. He'd most likely seen, if not us specifically, our other members helping out during the invasion.

"Yūgure... you are very strange nuke-nins" Jiraiya muttered at us before turning his attention back to the Sand Siblings. "Come on then. Let's find a more open area. I'll take a look at that seal and see what I can do".

There was obvious hesitation from them.

"Don't worry, Panda-kun. Pervy Sage means no harm" I promised.

"Y-yeah, you can trust the pervert" Naruto echoed with a smile.

Gaara considered for a few more moments. "Temari... Kankuro.. I'm sorry" he apologized to his siblings for his earlier behavior. Then he nodded to Jiraiya.

"Follow me then" the Sannin led them off.

"Adopting a jinchuuuriki, Koneko?" Kisame questioned again, still irritable "Why am I not surprised?"

"I'm keeping him" I pouted.

"I'm aware of this. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it" the Shark sighed "Come on, let's go make sure the others don't end up in ANBU cells". He turned back for Konoha. We'd only come to make sure this fight had gone according to canon.

I grinned at Team 7 "Ja ne!". Then I followed after my partner once more.

_A few moments later – Team 7_

"They are... very strange" Sakura murmured, after the two nuke-nin were gone. She couldn't believe the kunoichi had bothered to heal them... She wished she could heal and be useful...

"I like them! I'll make sure to be their friend! Believe it!" Naruto grinned. He was just happy that she'd eased the ache in his muscles.

"Hn" Sasuke didn't comment, but his mind was whirling. They were in the same group _Itachi_ was in. But they'd helped... If they weren't bad...

Then Itachi...

Aniki...

This was so confusing.

* * *

**Some time later – Hiruzen POV**

He leveled his gaze at the eight nuke-nin standing openly before him.

"I think we're done here" the Shark, a nuke-nin he knew as Kisame spoke, legendary Samehada on his back "Your invasion has been successfully thwarted".

"Jiji, you need to be more careful" the sole kunoichi smiled. She was Toki Sudachi, known partner to the Shark-nin.

The ANBU had given him reports of them. This was the same kunoichi they'd had in T&I. Yet these two had brought slaughter to Konoha's enemies.

He looked at Itachi and the blond one that appeared to be his partner, a nuke-nin the Bingo Book listed as Deidara. If it wasn't for those two, he'd be dead.

A glance at the masked shinobi and the scythe-wielder. Kakuzu and Hidan if the rumors were true. They'd been part of the only reason that three-headed snake had done so little damage.

The final pair. A nuke-nin he knew as Zabuza Momochi and a younger male he did not know. Kubikiribōchō was gleaming sharp in Zabuza's hold, having fed off the blood of Sound-nins. The younger male had been cleaning his senbon of the same blood earlier.

"Who are you?" he questioned. Itachi had given him a name earlier, but he wanted conformation.

"Yūgure" Kisame answered simply.

A signal from a sensor nin. This was mostly the same group that had dispatched Danzō.

And now they helped with this invasion.

"Sir?" an ANBU questioned as the group moved to leave.

"Let them go" he replied as they took off on clay birds, vanishing quickly "I have another task. One for the Sannin Jiraiya. Hopefully he'll take Naruto with him".

"Hai, Hokage-sama?"

"If it weren't for them, this would've ended much worse" he admitted "It's time I stepped down as Hokage. I know Jiraiya will not want the position. So I'm sending him after someone else".

"Who, Hokage-sama?"

"Tsunade-hime. She will become Gondaime Hokage".

"Hai, Hokage-sama"

* * *

**Some Distance Away**** – ****Normal POV**

"Well, now we wait. More watching Konoha carefully. There should be an Akatsuki pair appearing soon, chasing after Naruto. In two days if I remember right" I sighed, flopping onto the ground. "After that comes the Sound Four where pedo-snake tries luring Duck-butt away"

I found myself picked up then replaced in one Shark's lap as he stole my spot from me.

"Kisame's and I's replacements" Itachi stated simply. "They will not succeed, but we should see who they are. The more important matter, however, is Orochimaru"

"I can't believe you refrained from killing him, yeah" Deidara observed "I would've turned him into art, un".

"The Sound Four chase is needed" Itachi had seen my memories. He knew what this chase would mean for the Sand Siblings and the Rookie 9.

"Tachi's right. We need identities of the new Akatsuki" I nodded."Then, Duck-butt and Naruto really should fight it out at the Valley of the end. We'll intervene before Duck-butt can leave. Tachi gets to kill pedo-snake this time around. Glasses-creeper is fair game to anybody that wants him. The bounties are Kakuzu's".

"We fucking know already" Hidan scoffed.

"I still can't believe you unofficially adopted a jinchuuriki" Kisame grumbled at me. "I'm not sharing you"

"I fully intend on reminding him that I've done so periodically too" I smiled back. "Kisame, I have no intentions of being shared. Doesn't mean I can't adopt adorable tanuki-pandas. Come on, don't you want the Kazekage for a son? And he'd make a great honorary member of this insanity".

"Koneko, I worry for what little sanity I grant you have".

"You know you love me".

"Doesn't mean you're not insane".

* * *

_Poor Kisame. Now you're stuck with your Koneko unofficially adopting Tanuki-pandas. _

_Hehe pedo-snake. Victim to not one but all three dangerous abilities of the Mangekyo. Lucky that Tachi knows you're needed alive. For now. Doesn't mean he can't cause you a world of hurt before he gets to kill you._

_**Note –**__A review kindly pointed out that the Akatsuki cloud doesn't exactly suit this story as an image. I agree. The problem is that Yugure and KisaToki images only exist in my head. Suggestions on what to do? (Also note I can't draw. AT ALL. So I can't create an image myself)  
_

_**Next time –**__ "__The new Akatsuki should be showing up soon. Wonder who's-"_

"_Look Sasori-sempai! Tobi's a good boy!"_

"_Fuck"_

"_Koneko, I believe now is a good time to start running"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Ie-maru – Hehe -trollface- No Hidan vs Shika. The irony remains. Can't kill the Snake just yet though. Soon pedo-snake. Soon._

_Ceralyn – He is indeed ^^_

_Skewed – Thank you very much :3_

_Deathless – Tanuki-panda is now honorary member cause he's been adopted. Kisame has no say in the matter xD_

_Marina – This is true. It's only fair. Please don't kill me Toki. Gaara is a panda plain and simple._

_Yukira – Can't, that already happened before the invasion. Plus Tanuki-panda needs to be Kazekage. Plain and simple._

_Arcami – Divide and conquer basically. Gaara's mind is broken. Kisame has no choice in his now unofficially adopted new son._

_Wickedly – That's be Mary-Sue-ish :/_

_Little – ?_

_Girl – I hope it was ^^;_

_Radiant – And here's there's simply too much going on at once to write it all ._. Indeed, this was the invasion. I just tend to update when I have time ^^; And pfft, no. I mention an epilogue cause I'm planning on doing one when we actually get there._

_Makmix – He wasn't interested like that. More like a fascination with a strange animal so you're going to keep it as a pet sort of thing. And thank you :)_

_Phantom – There's simply too much here to write it all D: And maybe, I don't know. I'm certainly planning on at least one more._

_Lady – She only escaped cause she broke his brain. And I'm pretending that the matches were somewhat randomized. Therefore Sasuke can get paired up against Sakura xD And here's the invasion where a bunch of nuke-nins proceed to confuse everybody 8D_

_Arcaelia – Computers are evil in Naruto-verse. Never trust them. Hope you liked this one ^^_

_Shadow – Thank you! I highly doubt it's that good though ^^; Kurenai dismisses it, but all is revealed in this chapter x3_

_Kasai – Glasses-creeper is the very worst. And indeed. He has to forfeit. Poor Hidan. Kisame is not amused at Toki's unofficial adoption. There's no way Gaara would get away with taking Toki as a pet. Maybe._

_PC – Snowy's not much involved with canon. I can say that you will see him again. Just not for some time yet._

_Ice – Bee would probably be friendly I suspect. He's the type to judge people on themselves not just cause they got a scratched hitai-ate. As for short stories, be sure to draw your read in quickly. Write a scene, show them what's going on, don't tell. That's all I got ._._

_Renna – Glasses-creeper is just so... -shudder- And I don't know. Maybe._

_Ann – Kisame is a very lenitant Shark. H allows Koneko to fangirl. However he would become a very angry Shark if someone tried taking her away._

_Awesome – Thank you very much!_

_TheThird – This is why you shouldn't make yourself interesting to a psychopath. Gai and Lee are both there, but cover must be maintained. But Gai says hi during the fight xD_

_December – See? Lots of art here._

_Just – Cause they're really S-rank nuke-nin. They shouldn't have to try against genin xD_

_Ivory – Hidan is just epic like that. Have an update :)_

_Ariados – Does this answer your question? ;)_

_Fire (x2)__ – __See? Told you xD Kisame is given no choice in the matter. Much__like Tanuki-panda himself. You do have a point I guess. It seems logical. I just... it feels so Mary-Sue to be able to take down Kabuto D:_

_Eternal – Of course they're badass. They're S-rank, and that's not something earned lightly xD Pedo-snake burns here. Mwhahaha! Too bad Tachi had to let him go. Shark is most displeased they have an unofficial son now without his permission. This chapter answer your questions? Happy Chinese New Year to you too (I don't celebrate it either xD)_

_Wolves – There is much kisk-assery to be had. But I cannot write it all without going overboard. So you mostly get Itachi. Don't kill me! Naruto and Tanuki-panda are both stunned by the insanity that is Toki._

_Blood – That match would've been so one sided it wouldn't have been even funny._

_Kakashi – Pfft. Duck-butt would murder Sakura. Itachi is so badass and so very very hax. Thank you ^^ Glad you like it_

_Nazebaka – Can't be too perfect xD It's my secret plot. I shall make fagnirls/fanboys of you all! MWAHAHAHA! _

_Pierce – That was actually Gaara's thinking xD And Toki is insane. I don't think you'd want that in your family ^^;_

_Cjhoax – Glad you liked it!_

_White – Exactly. Nobody knows squat until the reveal._

_Candy – Thank you ^^_

_Shattered – Possibly. This chapter was rather long so no Omake here. And where o you get these mental images? xD_

_Sunset – Guard Shark is not amused he now has an unofficial son. I feel like I should have Kurenai and Toki face off just to be evil xD She wants to glomp him. So badly. But it's in a constant state of 'can't right now'._

_Ajisai – Thank you very much ^^ And that would be hillarious. She'd be all 'I'm keeping you both. You have no say in this matter. And Madara you're not allowed to go evil or I'll spank you'._

_Skyrere – They deserve better than their canon fates. Alas no glomping Shino. Not yet anyways. Maybe later._

_Hades – Is that now going to be his unofficial quite? :3 And thank you! I'm glad I'm doing him justice._

_Shelby – I try ^^; I'm surprised I can still do this with school going on._

_Fofy – Toki does underestimate herself a lot. It's her major flaw actually. Outside of insanity. I'm glad you like my story ^^ Thank you_

_Sofie – Nobody except Kisame understands the insanity that is Koneko_

_Budchick (x11)– I completely agree with you. Poor Kisame. He needs much more love than he gets around here. Pfft. Itachi petting Kisame's hair is a hilarious mental image. Haku is indeed needed for Zabuza to be tolerable. Yep Mangetsu so has a brother complex. Chibi-B is adorable beyond words. Kisame + Gai equals genin destruction. Mangetsu's life is spared, don't worry. Pfft. That is a great mental image you gave me with the pokemon reference! The Zombie Combo are meant to be partners. Enough said xD No going blind for Itachi! Weasel is the best. And while he admits to looking for romance I don't know who to pair him with D: _

_Nomurai (x7) – Hehe, I have no life ^^; I know about the partners. I wanted to have Kisame and Itachi as usual, but it just didn't make sense n the scheme of things. At least Tachi and Dei will make wonderful art together? Blame Kakashi for her capture. Toki was trying not to fangirl over him. I wasn't exactly happy with the T&I chapter either, but I couldn't seem to fix it, so I left it as is -sigh- That and it was mostly a chance for the Shark to be badass and to show the having normal couple issues. Hidan's a bit slow on the uptake and apparently she's actually just a really pathetically bad Jashinist xD I agree the image needs to be changed. But to what? Yugure only exists in my head. ;~; As for the Sakura hitai-ate I thought a flower imprint was a bit... whimpy. So I went for the Kanji instead. I honestly have no idea how long this will be. I pla on going into Shippuden/Fourth War and a little beyond. It was technically okay to beat glasses-creeper as he wasn't there the first time around, so mixed signals were ignored ^^;_

_Ethorin – Thank you very much ^^_

_Cool – Have an update then ;)_

_Cat – It was due to your suggestion ^^ See? I do actually read these. It's okay, I understand -pats- I'm happy so long as people are reading._

_Mistress – Yay internet! Hope you like Itachi's round of violence on the pedo-snake. Too bad he had to let him go. _

_Shadowwolf – I'm glad you like it! ^^ did you say... fanart? -instant puppy eyes-_

_Whiti – Tanuki-panda is psychotically adorable._

_Kage – Except when you're Gai. Cause he's... Gai._

_Inazuma – Kisame is already unamused with his unofficial son. No, keeping Koneko is not in his best interest. Hehe, that so should be the motto. I'm not sure thinking highly is how you should put it though... Of course they did. They were fighting S-rank nuke-nins xD Pedo-snake only escaped the RAGE because Itachi recognizes the need for the Sound Four event. I refuse to fangirl over glasses-creeper. Nope. Not happening._

_Free – Indeed. He's a lot happier after so many sacrifices. _

_Saskicheez – Owwie. Bad kitty. And that's what's so funny about it. They label her as odd when they don't even know the half of it xD Silly Victims... I mean people indeed. Pillow shields are the ultimate defense! Tanuki-panda's sand has nothing on pillows! Sleep is amazing. I'm an addict myself, don't worry -pats-_

_Obi – Here, have an update ^^_

_Coco – Kisame has returned! And is displeased to find he has an unofficial son._

_Kitkat – Never ever make Itachi angry. It's not a good thing. Poor Gaara and Haku indeed. I'm not sure who to pity more. And it's our resident lazy genius. Hidan is made to forfeit since he's gotta save energy for the invasion. Hidan is displeased but cheers up due to the following violence._


	38. Close Encounters of the Lollipop Kind

_Thank __you all so much!_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_Read the bottom note for something fun!_

* * *

The others had gone back to the base since the Sound Four event didn't occur until after Jiraiya and Naruto had returned with Tsunade.

It was just Kisame and I watching over Konoha, waiting for the plot.

Itachi had left a crow that would watch over Sasuke. Just in case.

"There goes the Pervy Sage and the kyuubi kid" Kisame nodded at the gate as they left.

"Off to fetch Tsunade. I'm glad Jiji didn't have to die this time around either" I mused. "We really are making changes, Kisame".

"Good" the Shark chuckled. "I did say we were tearing that future into itty bitty pieces".

I nodded. I just hoped what we were doing was causing the changes we wanted.

_The next day_

I yawned as we watched Konoha. It was now officially two days after the invasion.

"The new Akatsuki's showing up soon" I mused to the Shark beside me. "Wonder who's-"

"Look Sasori-sempai! Tobi's a good boy!" came the familiar singsong.

Kisame and I froze.

"Fuck" was my only response to that. Hidan must be rubbing off on me.

"Koneko, I believe now is a good time to start running" Kisame said quietly.

I shook my head quickly. "We move, they'll see us. _He'll _see us". Lollipop had the Sharingan after all.

"What the hell do we do then?" he whispered back as the Akatsuki grew closer. "They'll feel our chakra and investigate if we don't do _something_".

"Thinking" I responded.

Akatsuki. Not that far away now, walking calmly towards Konoha, signature cloaks moving in the breeze.

Desperate, I tried something I'd never done before. Yes I'd hidden my chakra. Yes, I'd hidden other members' when needed. But both at the same time?

I'd have to hide mine, Kisame's, and Samehada's for this to work.

FML

No choice. It was do or die. Quiet literally.

I moved to shove Kisame against the tree, one hand resting on him, the other going for Samehada.

I felt the scales dig into my hand as the sword start its chakra drain.

I grit my teeth and forced our chakra signatures down to non-existance.

* * *

**Tobi POV**

He was unamused. Which was why he was taking great pleasure in annoying Sasori.

He wasn't the puppet's usual partner. He technically wasn't even Akatsuki right now.

Sasori's normal partner had been injured. He was merely a temporary replacement.

So, he was making the puppet's life as annoying as possible.

He was honestly surprised Sasori hadn't tried to kill him yet.

But, other than being called an annoying brat, Sasori seemed to ignore him. Playing him at his own game.

Entertaining for a puppet.

Why was Tobi unamused in the first place?

He had a thorn in his side by the name of Yūgure.

They'd stolen all the really impressive S-class nuke-nins aside from Pein, Konan, Sasori, Zetsu and himself.

But, as of yet, they hadn't _really_ meddled in his plans.

He supposed he was acting like a child who had his toys taken away.

"Look Sasori-sempai! Tobi's a good boy!"

Didn't mean he couldn't take his ire out on a certain puppet.

Something drew his attention. Responding to his instincts, he made a show of whistling as he scanned the trees with his Sharingan.

Looking for movement and searching for chakra.

To his mild surprise he found nothing.

He paused.

"Keep up, brat" came the snap from the puppet.

Hmm.

Perhaps Madara's training had made him a _bit_ paranoid.

"Coming sempai~" he followed after Sasori.

Back to pretending to be a useless idiot.

* * *

**Normal POV**

I didn't dare move until the two figures had vanished into Konoha.

Even then I waited a few moments longer.

My head... the world was spinning.

My hand was bleeding thanks to Samehada's scales.

Kisame had told me the sword liked me more than it did most people that weren't himself.

That didn't mean it was happy with me touching it.

I'd had to keep our three chakras down all while a certain blade had been attempting to eat the chakra I was using to hide it.

This had made things all the more difficult.

When Lollipop had stopped and started to scan the trees, I'd thought we were screwed.

Because one little slip on any of our signatures and he'd know we were there.

But they'd continued into Konoha.

They would soon be seeking Naruto only to find him gone.

Tobi wouldn't reveal his strength to Jiraiya. It was too soon.

Pervy Sage could handle Sasori.

Things would hopefully go mostly canon with just two different people taking Kisame and Itachi's place.

World... spinning...

Low...

chakra...

I canceled my kekkei genkai.

Why... were there four Sharks?

* * *

**Kisame POV**

Being shoved against the tree had been the last thing he'd expected form Koneko.

He'd realized what she'd done when he felt her shove his chakra down.

He frowned. Even without Samehada, he had a lot of chakra. Hiding his and hers would be difficult for her.

Then he'd smelled blood.

Samehada did like her... more so than it did most other people.

But the sword did **_not_** like others touching it.

She was attempting to hide all three of them? At the same time?!

Koneko must have succeeded because the Lollipop bastard had left, following after the puppet.

He felt her release his chakra after a moment.

"Well, this is an interesting position" he attempted humor. Their current situation was certainly... suggestive looking.

That's when he'd noticed that glazed look in her eyes.

Her nose started to bleed before she collapsed against him.

"Shit" he cursed, picking her up. Chakra exhaustion. It had been a very long time since this had happened to her.

Samehada must've been eating away at her chakra the whole time for it to be this bad.

"Damn sword. You and I are talking later" he informed the blade. Samehada had the decency to make a guilty sort of movement on his back as he carried Koneko back towards the Yūgure base as fast as he could go.

* * *

**Yūgure Base**** – ****3****rd ****Person POV**

Only Itachi and Deidara were currently present at the base when their leader duo came rushing in.

Or rather, Kisame came rushing in, holding an unconscious Toki.

"What happened, hmm?" the artist was stunned to see the kunoichi down. She was a stubborn one, able to keep up with this insanity.

"Chakra drain" Itachi answered before Kisame. He knew the signs. "But why so severe?"

"We almost had an incident with the bastard Lollipop" the Shark replied as he carried Toki towards what they'd made into the medical area.

The other two followed, wanting to both know more about the incident and the sole kunoichi's condition.

"Almost?" Itachi was not aware it was possible to escape Tobi, though both Kisame and Toki looked unscathed. There must have been something that caused her to be taken out like this.

"They didn't see us" Kisame continued. "To prevent them from noticing us, she hid our chakra signatures".

"What about her hand, yeah?" Deidara couldn't help noticing that it had been wrapped. The bandages were bloodstained.

"Samehada" the Shark growled. His sword made a clinking noise, probably in as close to fear as the sentient blade could manage. "She touched it so she could hide its chakra too".

"Three chakras at once?" Itachi was impressed the kunoichi had survived.

"While Samehada ate her chakra" Kisame finished with a nod as he set about tending to his unconscious partner.

"Wow, un" Deidara mused "No wonder she's in bad shape, yeah".

"I'm hoping that crow of yours will be enough, Itachi. It's not safe for anyone to be too close to Konoha while the Lollipop is there" Kisame sighed. He'd done all he could. Now he just had to wait for her to wake up.

"I'll make it enough" the Uchiha promised. "After the encounter with Jiraiya the Akatsuki should go back down into hiding until later, if I remember correctly". Until the events of what Toki called Shippuden.

"Good. Dei, send a signal to the others. Make sure they know not to get close to Konoha or Tanzaku" the Shark ordered. Both he and Toki were relaxed people. But they knew when to take their roles as the leaders of this organization.

"On it, un" the artist went to make some more of his birds.

* * *

**Normal POV**

I honestly didn't know how long I'd been out.

All I knew was that my head was killing me and I was thirsty as all hell.

A blue hand presented a glass of water.

"Kisame, you're a mind reader" I murmured, accepting it. I started to heal myself of my headache.

"No Koneko. I just remember the last time this happened to you" the Shark gave me a slight grin.

It vanished after a moment. "You worried me".

"Sorry" I apologized "It had to be done. We're not even remotely close to being able to challenge Lollipop. You know that".

"I know" he snarled "But you knocked yourself _unconscious_, Koneko".

"It wasn't on purpose" I protested.

"I know that too. Damn sword was eating your chakra the whole time, wasn't it?"

"...Maybe".

Kisame gave a dark chuckle. "Don't worry, Koneko. We've had a talk about that".

I couldn't help glancing at Samehada on his back.

The sword didn't have any emotions, so it was a void on the emotional radar.

Still, it somehow looked... subdued.

"Don't be mean to Samehada, Kisame" I scolded.

"The damn blade hurt you, Koneko. I can be mean to it if I want" the Shark scoffed.

"Be nice or it'll abandon you for someone else" and Kisame without his sword is just not right.

"Heh. Like the idiot rapper? I remember you told me it liked his chakra" Kisame snorted "Not happening".

"Then be nice to your sword. Make it loyal for once" I countered.

Kisame sulked. "First you go and adopt a jinchuuriki. Now you're telling me I can't punish Samehada for misbehavior?"

"I'm saying be careful in doing so" I shook my head. "And you can whine all you want, I'm keeping Tanuki-panda".

The Shark snarled to himself. There was a pause and I didn't need the emotional radar to tell Kisame was irritated. "Fine" he finally muttered.

I'm not entirely sure if he was agreeing to keeping Tanuki-panda or if he was going to follow my advice and try to make Samehada a loyal sword for once.

I hoped it was both.

_Several Days Later_

"My crows tell me that Tsunade has returned to Konoha with Jiraiya and Naruto" Itachi spoke simply as he entered the base. "They had a fight with Orochimaru over being healed, like before. She was then inspired by Naruto to return and accept the Gondaime position".

"It's the Land of Tea next with Idate and Aoi" I sighed. "There shouldn't be any issues there. Still, Tachi, Dei, you two get surveillance on that".

"Got it, un" Deidara nodded.

Itachi gave me a stare.

"Your otouto will be there. It's a Team 7 minus Kakashi mission" I reminded.

"Very well" the Weasel nodded. Mentioning chances to help Sasuke were usually the best way to get Itachi to do things he didn't want to do.

"After that, it's the Sound Four" I finished.

"And Orochimaru" Itachi's eyes flickered red.

"Pedo-snake is all yours, Itachi-san. We'll help if needed" Kisame laughed "Try not to get any blood on you. I bet he's got some nasty diseases".

"Ewww" I shuddered at the thought.

"That's fucking disturbing" Hidan agreed.

"I just want that bounty" Kakuzu was unperturbed.

"We'll be handling the others then" Haku gave a slight grimace at the thought.

"They had better be worth the fight" Zabuza grumbled, probably not wanting to admit he was disturbed too.

"Maybe I should just turn him into art, un?" the artist was making a disgusted face.

"And deprive Itachi-san of his fun?" Kisame snickered at all of us.

"You are very strange, Kisame" Itachi stated bluntly.

"Koneko's insanity is contagious" the Shark smirked.

"Don't blame me for coming up with the idea that pedo-snake has diseases!" I protested.

"What? He probably does" the Shark shrugged "I'm just the only one that took that into consideration".

* * *

**Tobi POV**

Yūgure had been very quiet lately.

That incident with Jiraiya and the kyuubi jinchuuriki hadn't involved them at all.

He drummed his fingers as he wondered why this was.

Perhaps he had been giving them a bit too much credit?

Sure, they'd stolen most of the shinobi he'd wanted to recruit. There were even rumors they'd helped Konoha in Orochimaru's invasion.

But other than that, they hadn't done anything particularly interesting or spectacular.

Had he just been eager to have an interesting opponent?

Truly, he'd expected more from the organization that Itachi had supposedly joined.

Then again, Itachi was a cunning man. This could all be some elaborate plot that only Itachi himself knew about.

He wouldn't put it past his fellow Uchiha.

He nodded to himself, making his decision.

For now, it was best to lay low and wait. Sasori was pissed at him for being useless against the Sage anyway.

Or rather Sasori was pissed at Tobi for being useless.

He could've handled the Sage easily. But that would've given away his game far too soon.

Yes, he'd watch and wait.

See if Yūgure was worth of being considered an opponent.

Or if they were simply playing at being a threat.

Either way, he could dispose of them easily.

So, he'd entertain himself by watching them for now.

* * *

**Omake – Adopted, Gaara POV**

_Mewf! _He blinked, hearing the odd noise.

His eyes widened to see a small gray cat with a scroll in its mouth patiently waiting at the window.

The cat was lucky the Sannin had been able to fix his seal. Otherwise Shukaku would've been demanding its blood.

It was... odd. Being able to think clearly. But had to focus on this situation.

He went to retrieve the scroll out of curiosity. Assassination attempts weren't delivered by cats.

It was a containment scroll. Upon opening it, he unsealed two items.

A letter appeared first.

_Tanuki-panda-chan! _He instantly knew who this was from.

_Just a reminder that I've adopted you! Your adoptive Tou-san, says hi! Well, it was more like a mutter, but you get the point. Anyways, I thought you might __like this! A good parent gives nice gifts to their child after all!_

His eyes went to the second item. A jar. Filled with... black sand?

_It's volcanic sand! Shake the jar! Trust me!_

He had his sand shake it instead. Glittering white sand and bits of odd looking glass appeared. Making the jar look like it contained the night sky.

_The white sand is from tropical beaches. You have no idea how much it took to get that. The glass is lightning glass. Made by taking sand and mixing it with lighting ninjutsu from yours truly. Since you're an honorary member of you-know-what, but we can't exactly give you an outfit, I thought this would symbolize your membership in another way!_

He did know. Yūgure, the name displayed on her haori. He was... a member? He supposed he didn't have much choice in the matter considering who was writing him.

_Feel free to add this sand to yours if you want! Not sure you can find another use for the glass though._

_Love,_

_Your adoptive Okaa-san_

_Ps. Would Kaa-chan be better?_

He eyed the jar in almost suspicion now. "Response?" the cat asked, making him jump. Of course the feline could talk. It was one of hers most likely.

"... Thank her" he replied. "Tell her that... Kaa-chan is acceptable".

The formality of Okaa-san didn't suit her. He also knew she wouldn't give up until he called her one or the other.

The cat nodded and disappeared. He eyed the jar of black sand again.

A bit of the sand came out upon his calling it, mixing into the sand he used normally.

The rest he left in the jar.

That way it could still resemble the night sky.

* * *

_Close calls with Lollipops are the worst._

_**Next time –**__ "__I'm leaving and you're not stopping me, Naruto!"_

"_Foolish otouto. Then I will stop you instead. Going with Orochimaru is not the way to surpass me"._

_**CONTEST! –**__That's right, a contest. For all of you that are more artistically inclined._

_This is for a NEW cover for Clearing Mist ^^_

_**Rules! –**__I'm fairly flexible. All I ask is a picture involving either KisaToki or Yūgure. If you manage both that's even better. KisaToki is __**preferred **__but __**not **__obligatory._

_You can find a detailed description of Toki on my profile plus fanart to help you visualize her :)_

_**What you get if you win!**__ – __(aka my bribes)_

_1__st __place: Your art becomes the cover (obvious). You also get not one but _**_two _**_Omakes._

_2__nd p__lace: You get a __**single **__Omake_

_**All **__submitted art will be proudly displayed on my profile ^^_

_**Deadline! –**__Today is February 2. You have until February 16 Two weeks, cause I know quality art takes time. _

_**Review Replies!**_

_ W. Kathy (x3) __– __Toki's a strange one indeed. It's why there's a general consensus on her insanity. Again, I'm really sorry. My brain must've convinced itself that I'd replied to you. Really, really sorry -.-; Tanuki-panda knows to just accept Toki's affection. Because she's not giving up. Miser needs some love too. Poor Kakuzu is so neglected. Indeed. Poor hidan had to forfeit to save energy which made him unhappy. And Stupid Tanuki is only 'quiet' because I didn't feel like showing his thoughts -lazy- And they hide actually. Hide and pray he doesn't see them. I have no idea on the Akatsuki ._._

_Ice – Welcome! Hope it helps ^^; And maybe. Not a very obvious one though. Fav Rookie 9? Hinata. Cause Hinata is badass._

_Eternal – Neither he nor Kisame get much choice in this matter. As for Hidan, he's just being a creeper on Shikamaru for the moment. There may be friendship in the future :3 Of course pedo-snake gets beaten. Angry Weasel is a deadly Weasel._

_Shattered – Bwhahaha! That's a funny one xD And Pervy Sage was needed to help Tanuki-panda. _

_Kasai – Kisame will complain at having to share Toki with anyone. Not quite there yet. Soon... soon..._

_Arcami – Actually Jiraiya can handle Sasori since Tobi is pretending to be a useless idiot right now. He was only there cause Sasori's normal partner is out of commission. We'll see what I get from any artists that feel like being generous._

_Shiori – Have another make then ;) Nope. Kisame and Toki are all 'Hide!' Tobi is suspicious but decides to following impatient Sasori. The Hokage is very confused by them. Tsunade is too. You'll have to wait on Naruto :P_

_Nazebaka – I imagine something akin to ._. Kisame will out no matter who he's sharing Koneko with. No, trolling Tobi is not allowed. At all. Ever._

_Phantom – Thank you!_

_Marie – Thanks so much! Have an update_

_Ceres – . . . -fail- I'll go fix that. Gai has the best cameos._

_Drago – Why would that even happen? And Toki plans on it._

_Ceralyn – Thank you :3_

_Freedom – Nope. With Tobi it's best to hide and pray he doesn't see you._

_Wind – Exactly. Because Gai that's why._

_Sin – Who doesn't think Gaara is adorable?_

_Skewed – A lot of Tobi actually after a drought of from the Lollipop._

_Fire – That's what the Omake is for ;) And who knows._

_Ajisai – Thus why they stay very __**very **__still. And Sasuke is a dumb Duck-butt trying to go with pedo-snakes anyway._

_Hades – We'll see what any artists are generous enough to submit ^^_

_Zuma – Or hide. Hiding works too._

_Shanny – Thus why they hide and pretend not to exist. _

_Razzella – Lots of the Lollipop here indeed._

_Nomurai – I got several suggestions about making a contest so tada! Contest! Sasori is master at ignoring people. Even Lollipop_

_Kakashi – Sasuke is still very hax though. Itachi must interfere before Duck-butt pulls a dumb. Hehehe. Poor you. Gotta love Gai's random appearances. Tansporting all that snow would indeed be far too expensive. Miser doesn't approve._

_Ie-maru – Have an update ^^_

_Coco – It's temporary, but yes, indeed. They've majorly skrewed the Akatsuki over. _

_Marina – I got several offers of a drawing, so now it's a contest :3 Pfft. Fair? Ninjas don't do fair._

_Kitkat – Angry Weasel is a bad thing. Lucky for Sasori it was only a temporary thing. Pedo-snake will forever be a hated character. Therefore he dies. I'm sure they can handle the Fourth War without him. Don't worry, I can't even draw stick people._

_Awesome – Duck-butt tries to pull a dumb. Itachi intercepts._

_Blood – I suppose I should. The Akatsuki is rather empty._

_Girl – Doesn't everybody?_

_Yuuki – Or hide and be very very still. -pats- Yeah bed's probably a good thing is your brain is frazzled. I got a lot of suggestions for a Contest so tada! Contest!_

_Phoenix – Poor Kisame. Subjected to Koneko._

_Dimensional – That wasn't even a plan. It was more 'he's adorable and I'm keeping im' xD_

_Music – Nuke-nins don't have much access to legal things like that though._

_Eve – Careful Toki doesn't share her tanuki-panda or Shark._

_Crazy – Of course not. -shudder- That'd be a bit too cruel._

_Deathless – Maybe. I'm not sure on that pairing._

_Skyrere – Glad you liked it ^^_

_Spy – Thanks so much! Have some Tobi POV ;)_

_Pierce – Poor Shark and tanuki-panda aren't given much choice either xD_

_Miss – Who wouldn't adopt the adorable tanuki-panda? It's indeed a character flaw that she's yet to get rid of._

_Just – Probably had her mind broken. Tanuki-panda was indeed very broken after that revelation. _

_Renna – Thank you :)_

_Sofie – Thanks!_

_Shadow – Everybody wishes Tobi had stayed... well Tobi. And don't worry. You get an epic fight._

_Obi – Not at the moment. Naruto might get adopted later. _

_Kjate – You are the only person that got that reference xD_

_Chibi – Not yet. But soon. Tobi is an evil Lollipop. Itachi intervenes. Pedo-snake is not eager for another mouthful of flames. _

_December – Lots of hiding. And Samehada nomming Toki's chakra._

_LadyLianna – Almost time for that._

_Bibbit – In all honesty, it's not like a pair of nuke-nins can waltz into somewhere and ask to get married easily..._

_Little – Have an update ^^_

_Caribbean – Therapy-jutsu is needed for tanuki-panda._

_Wolves – Kisame is very used to Konekos insanity by now. He knows there's no use going against it. Tobi is very scary..._

_Uncertain – I'm going with Dei cause Sasori is a master at ignoring people._

_Knetter (x13) – Thank you! Kisame needs more love. Akira-san isn't evil... just devious. I try my best with the details, but too many of them bog down the story ^^; It's just team Ao. No number, cause I felt like that be too related to Konoha. I apologize. I guessed that most people would be aware of what the later characters looked like. The Partner randomization was fancy? How so?_

_Ethorin – Hehehe. Lots of the Lollipop here. Especially after not seeing him in so long xD_

_TheThird – Gai is awesome. Maybe, once he's Kazekage and can keep ANBU from arresting her on sight. Tsunade agrees, as things are basically canon there with just different Akatsuki members._


	39. Sorry Sasuke, Were You Trying to Defect?

_This chapter was a pain D:_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Violence

**Beta: **Arcturus Antlia Black

_Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

**Sasuke POV**

He and the dobe had just had a fight on the roof of the hospital.

He'd gotten hurt accidentally during the mission in Tea, so he'd been there recovering.

And it made him so very _angry _that Naruto of all people had gotten so strong.

Kakashi had tired him to this tree lecturing about not using Chidori on comrades.

He'd continued to sulk on the branch though his sensei had released him and left awhile ago.

Then, he found himself attacked by four unknown shinobi calling themselves the Sound Four.

He had lost.

Then... they offered him power.

Saying that the cursed seals of Orochimaru granted strength beyond belief.

They gave him a choice.

To follow or to stay.

Then they told him, if we wished to come, they would be heading for the Valley of the End.

He had until tonight to accompany them.

So he thought.

It didn't take much consideration.

He refused to be weaker than the dobe.

Weaker than _Itachi_.

So he headed to pack his things, failing to notice a crimson eyed crow taking off and flying away at speeds no normal crow would achieve.

* * *

**Normal POV**

There was loud cawing as one of Itachi's crows came flying in.

"Sasuke has been contacted by the Sound Four. They will leave tonight" Itachi stated flatly, eyes sparking red in anger.

"Tch. Itachi-san, if I didn't know you two were related, I'd never believe it" Kisame muttered as everyone went to get their stuff.

"Fucking idiot" Hisdan seconded "Who the fuck thinks 'Oh look a fucking bastard that looks like a damn snake, I should fucking go with him no damn questions asked'. Jashin damn, I thought Uchiha bastards were fucking smart".

Itachi glared at having Sasuke insulted, but he really couldn't argue the logic.

"Finally. My money" Kakuzu's eyes were practically gleaming in interest.

"Hope the pedo-snake likes art, un" Deidara snickered.

"Hmph. I just hope the snake doesn't disappoint. Those Sounds nins were pathetic" Zabuza was just as eager as the miser, though for different reasons.

"Zabuza-san, I'm sure this will be interesting. We shouldn't forget that Kabuto will be there as well" Haku reminded.

"Don't let glasses-creeper get away" I added "Doesn't matter who, someone just take him down".

"Fucking dibs" Hidan smirked.

"Not unless I get him first" Zabuza countered.

The two glared at each other.

"We should go" Itachi interrupted the glaring contest "Even with Deidara's birds, we will be cutting it close".

"Come on Koneko, it's not like those bastards are going to wait on us" Kisame chuckled as Yūgure headed out of our base.

"I don't know, I was thinking of taking the scenic route to our epic battle" I teased as I followed after him.

* * *

**3****rd ****Person POV**

One by one the Sound Four had dropped back to deal with the retrieval team from Konoha.

Sasuke had felt... guilt over this.

He wondered why. He was only pursuing his own power.

Why did he feel... like this?

At the Valley of the End, it came down to just Sasuke and Naruto.

Orochimaru and Kabuto both waited.

"Seems like we'll be getting a show, Orochimaru-sama".

"Indeed. Let's see if Sasuke-kun is worth of the curse mark before I give it to him" the snake hissed with a smirk.

The two genin clashed in an impressive display of power.

At first the young Uchiha had had the upper hand.

Then Naruto had unleashed the kyuubi's chakra.

The fight turned in the blond's favor.

However, Sasuke was an Uchiha. And Uchiha's are known for bending reality to suit themselves.

He sent fox-Naruto flying, wounding him with a chidori.

"Sasuke... you baka... I'm not letting you leave!" Naruto snarled struggling to get back up.

One more strike and Sasuke would defeat his friend.

He readied a second chidori.

"I'm leaving and you're not stopping me Naruto!" Sasuke lunged.

He felt his hand connect. Felt life force fade.

His Sharigan burned, changing form into something else entirely.

Mangekyo.

Then, suddenly, reality warped.

His hand wasn't in Naruto. In fact, he hadn't moved.

He'd been caught.

"Foolish otouto. Then I will stop you instead. Going with Orochimaru is not the way to surpass me" Itachi stood there in front of him, having caught him mid strike.

Sasuke noticed it was too quiet. His chidori...

He suddenly realized his chakra had been drained.

The younger Uchiha felt something heavy move away from his back.

"Samehada likes your chakra, Sasuke-san" came a low chuckle "Says it's spicy".

Before he could turn around, he felt himself getting picked up by the back of his shirt, and casually taken over to Naruto, who was gaping at the scene and had dropped his fox-form.

"You two can chat over here" the Shark-nin, he remembered as being Kisame informed him."Yama-san here will make sure you place nicely".

A _very _large black panther with a katana on its back landed in front of them.

"Toki says you two might be trouble. I hope you prove her wrong" the cat hissed.

"Be back in a few" Kisame smirked at them "Coming Itachi-san?"

"Yes" Itachi nodded and followed the Shark up the sliff.

Neither Sasuke nor Naruto were sure how to respond.

Though neither dared move much with an irritable summon staring them down.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Pedo-snake hissed at us angrily as Kisame and Itachi joined Dei and I.

As for the other two?

Glasses-creeper had attempted to sneak off.

He found himself wrapped in black threads and slung into the ground back towards the rest of us.

Kabuto then had Kubikiribōchō poised over his neck.

"Going somewhere?" Haku asking, toying with his senbon.

"Fucking coward" Hidan scoffed, twirling his scythe "Oi, Zabu-teme, let the bastard up. It's no fucking fun if we don't get some action out of the fucker".

"For once I agree" Kakuzu released Kabuto from his strings. "For someone that's supposed to be so much trouble, that was pathetically easy".

Kabuto glared, standing as Zabuza deigned to release him.

This looked like it would be two separate fights, four against one in both situations.

"My, isn't this entertaining?" pedo-snake finally smirked, forcing his burnt arms to move. "Very well then, you'll have your challenge".

"Oooh. Scary" I drawled.

"Remember the diseases" Kisame snickered, as he swung Samehada down into a more ready position.

I shuddered.

"Not helpful Kisame, un" Deidara reached for his clay.

Itachi only spared the Shark a glance, preferring to keep his Mangekyo focused on the pedo-snake.

* * *

**Kabuto fight - 3****rd****Person POV**

"Chakura no Mesu" Kabuto's hands glowed as his chakra scalpels formed.

"Oh that's just fucking cute" Hidan snickered.

"Amateur" Zabuza agreed, forming the tiger seal.

Kabuto found himself surrounded by mist.

Kirigakure no Jutsu, famed for its use by the Seven Swordsmen.

He couldn't see anything.

Kabuto cursed, barely dodging some senbon sent his way.

It was a trap. "Sensatsu Suishō" ice needles came raining down from the sky.

Kabuto had to evade quickly, only escaping through use of Doton: Moguragakure no Jutsu, a tunnel technique.

The ground shook around him as black thread pulled him out from under the soil like a weed.

"Trying to escape? I will not let my money get away so easily" Kakuzu slammed Kabuto onto the open ground.

Kabuto snarled, wounds healing though In'yu Shōmetsu. He had to turn this fight into his favor somehow.

"Shikon no Jutsu" Two dead bodies appeared, obeying his will, darting off into the mist.

There was the distinct smell of blood.

The two had been cut in half with a scythe.

"Fucking pathetic. My turn" there was a blur of movement.

Kabuto turned slicing with his chakra scalpels.

They dug deep into someone's chest.

"Hehehehe" Hidan smirked at him "The pain is fucking amazing. Maybe you're not that damn boring after all".

Kabuto blinked. How was this guy still alive?!

A whoosh of air as Kubikiribōchō barely missed Kabuto. Orochimaru's assistant stuck, slicing into the blade with his chakra scalpels.

He only succeeded in making a small line before more ice spears forced him to dodge.

Kabuto cursed as Kubikiribōchō fed of the wounded Hidan's blood, repairing the small scratch.

"Sen'eijashu" he struck with his snakes at a blur. Missing.

"I'm bored now" black strings wrapped around Kabuto again. "For such a high bounty, you put up a pathetic fight".

The mist started to clear. None of the four shinobi he'd been facing were remotely winded.

"Fucking disappointing" Hidan grouched, forming a bloody circle on the ground "Really fucking expected more out you, bastard".

"Toki did say he was only at Kakashi's level currently" Haku offered "And the Copy nin had difficulty with just Zabuza-san and myself when we were at a lower level. Perhaps he would've been more challenging if allowed to obtain his sage techniques?"

"The snake had better be a better fight" Zabuza scoffed moving off towards the other chaos that was the fight with Orochimaru. "Come on, Haku. It looks more entertaining over there. The zealot can have this whelp. He's not worth me killing".

"Coming Zabuza-san" Haku followed after him.

"Fucker" Hidan growled before approaching the trapped Kabuto.

"Fast, Hidan" Kakuzu snapped "We should go speed up that other fight so I can have my money".

"Always about the damn money with you. Fucking fine" Hidan sliced Kabuto's face with his scythe "I'll be damn quick with sacrificing this bastard".

* * *

**Orochimaru fight – Normal POV**

Orochimaru bit his hand and put blood on his summoning tattoo.

With a poof, Manda appeared, Orochimaru on his head.

"Jashin damn it" I pouted.

"Orochimaru. Another troublesome place. One thousand more sacrifices" Manda demanded.

"Koneko? You're the only one with summons. Itachi-san's crows don't count" Kisame pointed out.

"May I note that summoning a boss summon takes a lot of chakra?" I pointed out dryly "And I'm not hax like pedo-snake there".

"Deidara and I will hold them both" Itachi stated as the artist created another bird "A boss summon would be very useful here however to deal with Manda".

The artist and the Weasel took to the sky on one of Dei's birds. I sighed and started preforming seals.

"I'll make Samehada replenish your chakra, Konkeo" Kisame assured "This sword and I've got an understanding now after our chat".

_BOOM!_

Deidara was never a very subtle attacker.

"The artist is sure having fun" Kisame commented as I bit my hand.

Summoning he boss cat would eat up most of my chakra.

I hoped the Shark really could convince Samehada to share. I didn't want to be useless against _pedo-snake_ of all people.

I flared my chakra into the summoning jutsu, thanking Jashin this wouldn't dismiss Yama from his genin-sitting duties.

There was a large poof of smoke.

"Hello again, Koneko-chan" the female voice was amused "And the fish is still with you I see".

"Nami-sama" I ducked my head to her.

Nami was the boss summon of the cats, easily as large as Manda. She was a white panther... and a nekomata.

"I'm not a fish!" Kisame called up to her "And don't call her that!"

Her two tails flicked as she eyed Manda and Orochimaru. "I see you and the fish have found me a snake to play with, little one. How sweet of you. I love eating snakes".

"I'm _**not **_a fish!" Kisame snarled.

"If you wouldn't mind knocking the mini-snake off his head please?" I asked "Then you can have the big one all to yourself".

"Oh, you are such a sweet little one. Of course" Nami lunged, evading Manda's counterstrike to swat Orochimaru back down to the ground. "There you go little Koneko" she chirped before the two large boss summons whirled into a deadly dance of poisoned fangs versus fangs and claws.

Orochimaru cracked the ground with the force from Nami's swat.

"Ouch" Kisame chucked, as he maneuvered Samehada to refill my chakra somewhat. "If that damn cat would stop calling me a fish, I'd like her a lot more. I don't like the fact she calls you Koneko either".

"I'm pretty sure that's her way of showing that she likes us" I assured.

"Sen'eijashu" Snakes streaked towards us. Kisame moved Samehada so they got nothing but the swords sharp chakra-draining scales in their mouths.

"Sorry, pedo-snake, were we ignoring you?" he smirked as Dei's clay bird lowered to let Itachi back off. The artist himself preferred fighting from the air. "Let's correct that shall we?"

Chaos erupted as Pedo-snake spat thousands of snakes from his mouth.

"Amaterasu" the flames intercepted them, dying only when the wall of snakes vanished.

How much I adored and envied the Uchiha hax that was the Weasel.

"Ne, Itachi-san. He's yours to kill, but let us have little fun" Kisame moved to strike next, Samehada's scales poking out from under the bandages in hungry anticipation.

The snake forced his arms through the seals. "Edo tensei" The coffin intercepted Samehada.

"Tch" Kisame jumped back.

Clay bombs dropped from the sky onto the coffins before they opened.

"KATSU!"

The coffins and whoever they contained were disintegrated.

"Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu" my lightning cat streaked for the snake. I knew it wouldn't catch him. It didn't need to.

"Katon: Hōsenka Tsumabeni" my lightning beast forced pedo-snake into Itachi's rain of flaming shruiken.

Pedo-snake turned himself into snake mode, whirling to avoid the shuriken with his serpentine body. He reformed into his normal self.

"Seems I've underestimated you all" he smirked. "Yamata no Jutsu".

Orochimaru morphed, becoming a giant white snake with eight heads and eight tails.

"Okay, that's just nasty" Kisame groaned.

"Dei!" I called up.

"I know, un!" he called back with a grin. He created clay birds that started zipping about the snake heads.

Kisame smirked seeing where we were going with this. He lunged, letting Samehada dig into the snake's body.

One head came down, attempting to snag him. It got a mouthful of clay bird and due to the nature of Dei's clay, was unable to spit it out.

Itachi had hidden the birds in genjutsu from the looks of his smug neutral-smirk.

"One" I grinned lashing out with the kusarigama. It bit into the snake as Kisame jumped back. "Raiton: Kangekiha". I gave the snake a nice zap, causing another head to come for me. And get another mouthful of clay bird.

"Two" Kisame grinned "Here, Koneko. Some water for you. Suiton: Bakusui Shōha". He created a nice puddle around Orochimaru. Earning himself two more heads going for him.

These got birds in their mouths as well.

"Why thank you, Kisame. That makes four" I grinned, darting for the water. "Hōryū Raika no Jutsu" I electrified the water with what should've been lethal voltage.

The snake just took it as two more heads went after me.

Damn hax pedo-snake.

I'm glad you're getting mouthfuls of clay birds.

"That makes six" Kisame mused.

"Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu" random flares of fire struck out at pedo-snake.

The last heads went for Itachi, acquiring birds in their mouths.

"Eight" the Uchiha finished.

"Kastu!" Dei grinned manically. Eight simultaneous explosions.

This snake form collapsed.

The husk twitched.

Finally Orochimaru took his true form becoming that white snake beast Sasuke had had to face.

"Come on, un!" Dei sulked "That was real art, yeah! How is he still moving?!"

"Told you he was hax!" I called up.

Oro-snake struck out

"Sensatsu Suishō"

"Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu"

Ice needles and a Water Dragon bullet crashed into Orochimaru, knocking him sideways.

"We thought you could use the help" Haku smiled as he and Zabuza joined the fun.

"This one's much more entertaining than the other one" Zabuza commented, before leveling his blade and slicing for Orochimaru's scales. Kubikiribōchō managed to cut through the scale armor but didn't go deep.

Zabuza jumped back to evade a tail strike. "Much more entertaining".

"Oi! Twerp! Don't hog all the fun" Kisame dashed after him. Soon pedo-snake had the two Swordsmen harrying it.

Deidara rained clay bombs atop Orochimaru's head.

Oro-snake's attacks kept missing them.

"Genjutsu" Itachi explained simply.

"Itachi-san, your level of genjutsu is frightening" Haku commented as he drew senbon.

"Seconded" I agreed, drawing my own "Come fellow senbon-user, let's not be useless. Rai Ken". My needles sparked with electricity.

"Hai, Toki-san" Haku's own became tipped in ice. We aimed for any spots left open by the two blood-loving sword-wielders.

Oro-snake went to strike again, this time getting blasted by a shot that looked like it contained all the chakra nature transformations.

"This bounty is giving more trouble than the other one" Kakuzu commented as he reabsorbed two of his masks. He left the lightning and fire ones out to aid in attacking the snake.

"Fucking finally! Some damn entertainment!" Hidan launched to join Kisame and Zabuza in attacking Oro-snake's belly.

Orochimaru hissed in rage.

"Dei! Bring his head down!" I called.

A large bomb went for the snake's head. "Katsu!" forcing it down.

Kakuzu's thread caught it, finally yanking Oro-snake to be completely on the ground, as the thee short range fighters got out of the way. The miser's threads wound around the snake's entire body to immobilize him.

Orochimaru ad suffered enough damage from the rest of us that he could barely struggle against this.

Itachi calmly walked up, catching Oro-snake's gaze, successfully trapping him in the Sharingan. He made the snake open his mouth.

"Amaterasu" black flames appeared, going down Oro-snakes throat.

Kakuzu's threads snapped Oro-snake's mouth shut and held it there.

"Tsukuyomi" the Uchiha finished.

Burning the pedo-snake fromm the inside out while torturing him.

Itachi was a brutal killer when pissed.

"Koneko, do me the same favor I'm doing you and remind me to never ever piss off Itachi" Kisame said as he rejoined me, making a face at all the blood on Samehada's scales. "If I get a disease from this I will not be happy".

"Ah, Koneko-chan, I was wondering when you'd get done playing with your food" Nami spoke up.

Manda lay slain, neck broken from a vicious bite "I'll be taking my meal and leaving then. Farewell, Koneko-chan. Fish".

"Ah... thank you Nami-sama" I ducked my head to her as she poofed away.

"I'm not a damned fish!" Kisame snarled, though the panther was gone.

* * *

**Sasuke POV**

Itachi landed before him. The panther that had been watching them scoffed, vanishing since its task was complete.

"Go back with Naruto to Konoha, otouto" Itachi stated simply.

"Why should I?" he snapped back.

"You wish to surpass me? I gained all my strength in Konoha, Sasuke. To truly beat me, you should do the same" his brother answered.

"Why should I listen to you?! You're nothing but a killer!"

"You need to look underneath the underneath, otouto. I will tell you the truth in a few more years. Once you've grown up enough to handle it" Itachi gave him a smile.

He seethed.

Damn Itachi...

Damn Aniki...

Why couldn't he know now?!

"You're much too impulsive and hotheaded now otouto. Level yourself out in these next years of training. Then you can both surpass me and earn the truth simultaneously. I ensured that you received the Mangekyo. Train yourself to use it. Visit Tsunade once your eyesight starts fading. She'll have a gift for you". Then Itachi jumped, landing on a clay bird with a blond male and they vanished.

"The rest of your team will be here soon, Naru-chan" the kunoichi, Toki informed as she and Kisame landed "We'll help you two back up the cliff".

Naruto blinked then smiled his signature smile "Thanks Onee-san".

"Jashin damn it. Screw behaving" suddenly Toki was hugging Naruto hugging "So adorable~"

He blinked.

Naruto did so as well before attempting a hug back for lack of a better response.

"Koneko" Kisame gave an annoyed snarl.

"But Kisame~" Toki pouted.

Sasuke suddenly found himself getting pulled into the kunoichi's affectionate hug.

"They're both so adorable~"

"Koneko. Itachi-san is not going to let you keep his otouto. And one jinchuuriki was enough".

"Bullshit, Kisame. I'll keep Tachi too then, cause I'm so keeping Duck-butt. And Naru plus the kyuubi".

"You know about the fox?" Naruto gaped at her

"Course. Tell him I said hi" she grinned back.

"Koneko..." Kisame sighed

"Nope. Keeping them. You two are now unofficially adopted. You get no choice in this matter" Toki tightened her hug before jumping up to land them back on the Konohaside of the Valley of the End.

"What if we don't want to be?" he snapped at her.

"Sucks for you then Duck-butt. I'm keeping you. You, Naru, and Tanuki-panda are now all officially mine" she winked, releasing them. "Be on the look out for some presents coming your way. I've already got two of Duck-butt's planned out. I'll find something good for you too Naru-chan".

"Um... thank you?" Naruto for once was fairly speechless.

"Why are you only adopting psychopathic people?" Kisame groaned.

"Don't worry Kisame! I'm sure you'll be happy having Duck-butt and Naru here added to the family. Plus Tachi, cause he comes with Duck-butt".

"I'm sure Itachi-san will love this".

"I can convince him" a clay bird landed and Toki jumped onto it.

"In all honesty, Koneko, I wouldn't be surprised. After all, your dragging me into this as the unwilling adoptive tou-san and I've yet to win against you" Kisame followed after her.

"For the record Tanuki-panda decided on Kaa-chan. So I'll just be using that with you two as well Duck-butt and Naru-chan! Ja ne!" the clay bird took off with another sigh from Kisame.

"Teme... were we seriously just forcibly adopted by a nuke-nin kunoichi?" Naruto made his thinking face.

"Where you not paying attention dobe?" He refused to call her Kaa-chan.

Not a chance in hell of that happening.

"Cheer up teme! She seems nice! Maybe it won't be so bad having a Kaa-chan like her?"

"You're too optimistic, dobe".

* * *

_Someone reminded me that at this point in time, glasses-creeper really was said to be about Kakashi level. Therefore Four S-class nuke nins shouldn't have too much issue with him._

_As for pedo-snake... I tried? ^^; DARN YOU FIGHT SCENES! -angry fist shake-_

_Toki forcibly acquires Naru and Duck-butt. They, much like Tanuki-panda are given no choice in the matter. Sasuke is unamused. Naruto just rolls with it._

_Almost done with canon! This was shorter than I expected ._._

_**CONTEST NOTE! –**__Many people have asked how to get submissions to me. Just upload them to somewhere like photbucket, Deviantart, or Google docs and send me the link ^^_

_Be __**SURE **__to put A LOT of spaces in links or FF eats them and I WILL NOT GET THEM. PM me for an example if you're unsure of what I mean._

_**Next time –**__ "__Naruto will be leaving on his three year training with Jiraiya soon"._

"_Jashin damn it! I still need to find the adorable one a gift!"_

"_Too bad Koneko. I'm kidnapping you"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Dimensional – It's what happens when you show psychopaths kindness xD_

_Ie-maru – Thank you!_

_Arcami – One Duck-but idiot move successfully thwarted. Now he has to gain his strength from Konoha. But Toki will ensure her Duck-but son gets nice gifts._

_Shelby – Hehe. Glad you like this so much!_

_Kasai – Toki would melt into a puddle of goo and Kisame would be there grumbling in irritation in the background._

_Phantom – I actually kinda glossed over their fight cause the other two took a lot more time. _

_Guest – Thank you! Have an update :)_

_Sin – Indeed it is. Kisame and Samehada have had a chat though._

_Kitkat – Samehada doesn't like being touched by others. Poor Kisame, he has to clean his sword of diseased blood now. Tobi is Tobi. I both love and hate him too. Yay for awesome sand and a sane Tanuki-panda! You've got two weeks! So no worries!_

_Awesome – Thank you very much!_

_Blood – Not really? ^^;_

_Fire – It took me forever to think of a good gift for Gaara too_

_Creepy – He needs one desperately. Duck-butt and Naru are now graced with one too._

_Marina – Yes, they do. -plushie vanishes- I believe it was accepted. _

_Makmix – Yep. Cause Toki's a fangirl and she's been behaving Naruto-wise. She finally snaps here xD And you'll be seeing the other jinchuuriki in Shippuden._

_Kida (x2) – Who doesn't love them? And Itachi gets his blood alright._

_Eternal – Neither can I, thus the contest xD If it had drained her and killed her Samehada would've been destroyed in a fit of Shark wrath. Yay for Toki's certain situations only hax! Their partnership was only temporary. You haven't met Sasori's normal partner ;) _

_Nomurai – Tanuki-panda isn't very forthcoming about having adoptive parents xD Because most likely Temari and Kankuro would not approve of nuke-nins unofficially adopting their brother. _

_Guest – Thanks! And Toki's already been sick once... ._._

_Wolves – Yes! And I hope I managed the kick assery as well as I hoped I would._

_Shadowwolf – Fight scenes are not my forte ^^; I'm glad the rest of it makes up for it though! I'm glad you like it :3_

_Nazebaka – One day Lollipop. Just like Ibiki. And I'm glad you are! Good luck! ^^_

_December – Hope this turned out okay..._

_Dee – There's no resisting it. Smart people like Tanuki-panda recognize this fact xD _

_Iny – Glad you like it :D Have an update_

_Lady – It gets better cause now there's less creepers and Duck-butt and Naru join him in being forcibly unofficially adopted. That team was cool. I wish I could've show them more but dang Snake took up so much time..._

_Ceres – Don't worry I can't draw either_

_Ice – Kurenai would be a stare down. Gemna most likely wouldn't recognize her. Mangetsu would be a flying glomp and a 'Snoooowwwwwyyyyy!'_

_Cjhoax – Only for her though. And if anyone mentions it they get the full brunt of badass bloodthirsty Shark._

_Ariados – Does this answer your question? :)_

_Shattered – Nope. Cause Toki would be pissed. And pissed Toki isn't a good thing._

_Little – It's a full moon ^^_

_Taku – Thank you so much for the compliment! It means a lot to hear someone say things like that. I hope your laptop doesn't freak out on you anymore. I'm really glad you enjoy this ^^ I'm certainly doing the best I can to create something people will enjoy._

_Caribbean – Thank you! xD_

_Saskicheez – Can I join you in the safety of the pillow fort? Samehada and Kisame have had words. You'll be seeing a slow adaptation by the sword, though it's still not keen on being touched. I'm going with calling Samehada either an it or a he. There's no way Samehada's a girl. Warm and fuzzies for everybody! That mental image of Sleeper Anonymous just made me laugh out loud xD Why is real life eating your legs? D:_

_Mistress – You still don't have internet? That sucks D: You've got two weeks though? And indeed, Kisame was unamused with Samehada. They've had a chat now. And I know, the poor Zombie haven't had a large role lately. But they certainly appear more in this chapter ^^; _

_Deathless – She can't tell him where the base is for fear of message interception. Have an update! And yes, Samehada is bandaged like normal unless it's fully 'awake'._

_Ajisai – Very. And I suck too, don't worry -pats- Defection denied! Back to Konoha with the Duck-butt _

_Cats – Ibiki needs a raise. Poor guy_

_TheThird – Took me forever to come up with that too. Itachi doesn't smack. He just scolds harshly._

_W. Kathy – Samehada is a bad sword. Even if that does sound like the Lollipop. They will be having more importance soon, yes. The Zombies had a larger role here and in following chapters. I promise ^^_

_Yuuki – Up coming Hokage is adopted. The two remaining Uchihas are also adopted xD Yugure shall rule all! MWHAHAHA! -ahem- No one heard that._

_Bibbit – Magic :P And if anyone was indignant about it, it would so be Bai xD Cause Toki understands the whole 'nuke-nins can't exactly certain things' rule._

_Miss – Yay! Success! The Akatsuki drop out of view for the moment. They return soon though._

_Guest – Most likely, yes. Have an update!_

_Ethorin – Neither is Duck-butt. And neither xD I take a few hours to write every day, but I do do other things. _

_Guest – Perhaps I am giving Tobi a lot of credit. But it is better to overestimate someone than underestimate them. Toki herself for instance wouldn't stance a chance against the Lollipop. It's best to keep those she cares about (aka Yugure and the adopted ones) safe by not engaging Tobi until the timing is right. He'll be a lot easier to take out now that all he'll have is the Akatsuki and the Zetsu clones. As for Nagato and Jiraiya, don't count them out just yet. Nagato wasn't invited to Yugure because he was crazy. But there's no guarantee that won't change after therapy jutsu._

_Beyond – I'm happy with just fan art too :D_

_Skyrere – Two weeks~ ;3 Have an update!_

_Aka – You'll see the jinchurriki (those that are alive) in Shipuuden! I promise! And it can be a normal picture! Normal pictures work as covers in my opinion_

_Renna – Kisame is focused on pedo-snake. But he'd probably be both amused and terrified._

_Shadow – I answered your question in the note above ^^_

_Sofie – Have an update! :)_

_Shadowwolf – Fight scenes are the bane of my existence. But I'm glad that one was better ^^_

_Knetter (x7) – Most youthful. Yep, we're in canon, almost done in fact. Don't count Nagato out just yet. Therapy jutsu works wonders. Hidan is epic. Ao will be an in and out sort of figure from now on. Glad you like their name! Yep, lots of battles xD_


	40. Mandatory Vacation

_A much needed break from action. Not into Shipuuden yet. There's some more stuff to finish up first xD_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

**Warning: **Shameless Fluff

_Beta busy _

* * *

**Shikamaru POV **

He and that troublesome Sand kunoichi Temari were the first to reach the Valley of the End.

Despite his genius, he was honestly surprised to see that Naruto and Sasuke were both sitting there within the borders of Fire Country.

Arguing.

As if nothing had happened.

Tsunade was going to have a field day with this.

All that paperwork would be a drag.

"Naruto... you stopped him" he found himself speaking as he and Temari came to a stop.

"Eh... actually I didn't..." Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head as Sasuke sulked.

People of his IQ level were not often surprised more than once in rapid succession.

"What?" he questioned.

"Then what happened?" Temari gave Naruto a dubious look.

"They did" Naruto pointed across the Valley.

There were two nuke-nin there, dealing with what looked to be some horribly mutated snake-beast.

He felt himself gape in unison with Temari,

"Fucking finally!" came a voice as the snake-thing disappeared in a poof of nin-smoke "Damn bastard was a bitch to seal away in the damn scroll!"

Then the nuke-nins noticed them.

"Damn old man, I'm going to say hi and shit" the one with the scythe gestured to them.

He and Temari were both worn from the fight with that Sound Four member. They weren't matches for guys of this level.

"Hidan, you're keeping me from my money" came the snarling warning from the masked shinobi.

"It'll be five fucking seconds" came the retort.

Then they found themselves joined by the scythe-user.

He recognized this presence. This was the one that had been watching him.

How troublesome.

"Name's Hidan, bitches. You better make sure Duck-ass here get fucking back to Konoha. Or the Jashinist-bitch and Weasel bastard will be pissed" the nuke nin snickered. Then Hidan gave him a crazy smile. "Next time I get a chance to fight you pineapple-bastard, I won't be fucking having to forfeit. Though I fucking guess it'll just be a damn spar. I don't want to fucking blown into a hole again".

With that, Hidan was gone, back over to his partner and they took off on a clay bird.

"I'm starting to understand why that kunoichi, Toki, was so insane" Sasuke muttered.

* * *

**Some time later, back at Base – Normal POV**

"We've gotten rid of the snake, but there are still his nests to worry about" Kisame had finally finished cleaning Samehada.

It had taken him forever as he refused to let any blood get on him, and also refused to stop cleaning until he was positive the blade had been completely disinfected.

"The hideouts. I'm pretty sure I know where several are. Tachi can have crows looking for the rest" I nodded. "Dei, once they're cleared out, feel free to turn them into massive works of art".

"Sounds fun, yeah" Deidara smirked.

"When are we starting?" Itachi questioned. From the red flicker in hie eyes he wanted no trace of the pedo-snake left behind.

"Easy, Itachi-san. We'll get rid of them. In two days" Kisame chuckled.

"Why are we waiting?" Haku was the next to speak up.

"The rats could run" Zabuza agreed.

"It's not like pedo-snake could be at all his hideouts at once" Kisame pointed out. "The time is short enough that they'll just think he's traveling or at one of the other bases".

"That doesn't fucking answer why we're waiting Sushi-bastard" Hidan grouched "That's more damn sacrifices for Jashin-sama".

"And more money" Kakuzu followed.

"Then there's the fact we still need to watch Konoha to ensure Sasuke remains there" Itachi gave his best Uchiha stare to Kisame "Naruto will be leaving on his three year training trip with Jiraiya soon".

"Jashin damn it!" I pouted, having forgotten that "I still need to find the adorable one a gift!"

"Too bad, Koneko. I'm kidnapping you" Kisame smirked moving to pick me up, lightly tossing me over his shoulder "We're going in two days because we're taking a _break_. That's an order".

"That's contradictory, un" Dei pointed out.

"Don't care" the Shark scoffed.

"But Kisame~ Naruto will be leaving~" I protested but was unable to escape his hold

"Not like your cats can't find him later. Yūgure has defeated the damn pedo-snake. We deserve a reward. So go, relax. Cause we're digging out the snake's nests soon" Kisame grinned before carrying me out, and leaving the others to their own devices for two days.

* * *

**Time Off – 3****rd ****Person POV**

_Kisame and Toki_

"What do you mean, dress nicely?" Toki cocked her eyebrow at a certain Shark.

"Because, Koneko, I have a treat" he grinned back "But it requires nicer clothes than what you or I normally wear".

"Kisame" the kunoichi sighed. Then she made a gesture to herself "Nuke-nin. I don't exactly own any nice clothes. I'm honestly surprised you have some".

"Then take some time to go get something" Kisame snickered at her "Don't worry, I'm not in a hurry. I honestly do have to get something nice myself".

"I feel _all _sorts of suspicious about this" Toki muttered, heading out of the base.

"Oh stop hissing Koneko" came the laughing retort after her.

Some time passed before Toki returned to the base and went to change.

"Jashin damn this bow!" came the snap a few moments later.

Kisame, having just finished his change, laughed to himself. "Having issues, Koneko? Need help?" he called to her.

"NO!" she snapped back, making him laugh harder. There were a few more moments of silence "Aha! I got it! Thank Jashin. It's not pretty, but it's tied".

"Well come on then. Let's see your handiwork" Kisame wondered what exactly his Koneko would consider 'not pretty'.

Toki emerged from the room and the two shinobi blatantly stared at each other. Neither was used to the other looking so... nice.

Kisame wore the traditional formal clothing for men, haori, hakama, etc in a reserved silver. His only real adornment was the shark-tooth necklace his Koneko had given him so long ago. Strangely enough, this went well with the outfit. Toki was doing her best not to pounce on him.

Koneko herself was in a mostly black kimono, with a floral pattern in white and various shades pink. She'd done up her hair in a simple black ribbon. As for the tie on the kimono... it was in a rather... interesting looking bow.

Kisame gave a purr like growl, making himself behave as he circled behind her to help fix it.

"Jashin damn the stupid bow" Toki sulked.

"You're making controlling myself very hard, Koneko" Kisame chuckled "Especially because you pouting makes me want to convince you to cheer up".

Toki flush, knowing exactly what Kisame's version of convincing entailed.

"Come on then, fuzzball. I promised you a treat" the Shark finished his task with the bow and the two set out.

* * *

_Haku and Zabuza_

Zabuza was sulking.

Why?

Because Haku had not only dragged him out of the base, but the younger male had somehow convinced him to seal his precious sword in a containment scroll so they wouldn't be scaring people.

Haku had known Zabuza incapable of leaving the sword behind... but how he managed to convince the older shinobi to seal it away was a mystery to both of them.

"It's been awhile since we could relax, Zabuza-san" Haku smiled, getting various looks from men who mistook him for a girl in his casual clothing.

"Hmph" Zabuza was still sulking.

"Cheer up Zabuza-san" Haku's smile seemed to widen at his companion's prickly nature "We'll be back to violence soon enough".

There was an irritated sort of grumble from the other shinobi.

"Have it your way then" Haku shrugged, continuing on their casual walk with a happy ease that Zabuza himself couldn't quite manage.

"Fine" Zabuza finally grouched, falling into step beside him and at least _attempting_ not to sulk anymore.

Haku rewarded this with a bright smile. "Thank you Zabuza-san. I'm sure you'll find you enjoy some relaxation as much as I do".

The Swordsman gave a sigh of what was almost resignation. His hand rose to ruffle Haku's hair in an affectionate way before sending death glares at the males that had been eying Haku.

Zabuza stepped closer, claiming his territory. He was not about to let some ingrates flirt with his companion.

It would've been one thing had they been female... but Haku never seemed to get that sort of attention.

The boy was simply too pretty.

* * *

_Itachi and Deidara_

"Come on, Danna, un. I know just the way to relax, yeah" Deidara attempted to tug his unwilling partner out of the base.

"I am quite content reading, Deidara" Itachi responded, glancing up at the blond.

"But you do that normally, yeah. Even when we don't have an enforced break, un" the artist pointed out.

"And I am sure that your idea of relaxation involves your art, which you also do when we are not forced into a break" Itachi countered.

Deidara sulked. "It's impossible to win an argument with you, yeah".

"Only because I am right".

The blond thought for a moment "How about we both go do something that we don't normally do then, un?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the terrorist. "What do you suggest?" The former ANBU captain suspected he would regret asking this.

"You and I get lots of female attention, yeah" Deidara grinned at Itachi "Why don't we go see if there's any pretty ladies interested in some harmless flirting, hmm?"

Itachi scoffed. "Disgraceful behavior".

Deidara sulked again. "We could go somewhere then, yeah".

"Like? We are nuke-nins, if you haven't noticed Deidara".

"They don't mind here in Sakuragakure, un" the artist retorted.

"And where in this Village would we go?" Itachi had returned most of his attention to his book.

Deidara suspected his partner was simply being very antisocial.

An idea formed.

"There's this new sweet shop, un" he could feel himself smirking as he said it.

Sweets were perfect Weasel bait.

Itachi's interest returned to him.

Jackpot.

"We could go there, un. They're supposed to be really good, yeah".

Come on Danna, you know you want to...

"Very well" Itachi set aside his book, moving to stand.

Success!

"I'll show you where it is, yeah" Deidara was giving his signature grin.

There really was a new sweet shop in the area.

And they just so happened to have cute looking waitresses.

A win-win situation.

* * *

_Hidan and Kakuzu_

Kakuzu had been heading for his room to count his money.

He found his way blocked by one immortal Jashinist.

"Hell fucking no, Kakuzu" the man glared at him.

"No?" Kakuzu let some menace creep into his voice.

"Normally, I'm fucking content to let you be shit-ass boring. But we've got some damn free time. You are not fucking spending it in your damn room counting your shitty money" the zealot was unphased.

"Oh really?" Kakuzu's threads emerged from his skin in a clear threat.

"You can fucking kill me all you damn want. You know I can still fucking annoy you. The entire fucking time" Hidan scoffed.

Kakuzu's threads sank back into his skin. His accursed whelp of a partner had a point. "What do you want, Hidan?" he snarled with a glare that would send most sane souls fleeing for their lives.

Hidan just smirked and met his glare head-on.

"I fucking want to go drinking. And fuck no am I going by my damn self cause that's fucking lame".

"Expensive" Kakuzu's reply was instant.

"Fucking so? I know you have a shit ton of money, damn old man. Where's the fucking fun in having it if you can't have some fucking fun with it?"

"_Expensive_".

Hidan suddenly smirked wider "Oh? Are you sure that isn't some damn pansy-ass excuse?"

Kakuzu snarled. "What?"

"I bet's it's not even the damn money. I fucking bet that you can't handle your damn liquor" the immortal snickered. "Shoulld've fucking just said you were a damn lightweight, Kakuzu".

Kakuzu's temper spiked. "I. Am. Not" he snapped back.

"Fucking prove it then" Hidan challenged.

"Fine whelp. But I will kill you slowly if you so much as waste a single drop of whatever you get" Kakuzu turned seething to head out of the base.

"Yeah, fucking, yeah. It's not like you haven't done that shit before" Hidan grinned widely.

Goal accomplished, he followed his partner out.

* * *

_Kisame and Toki_

They'd seen the others around the Village, but had kept to themselves.

They were the only romantic couple, and since they didn't get much time to themselves, they enjoyed it when they could.

Especially nice days like this.

Kisame really had been treating his Koneko, giving her a formal date as a present of sorts.

He'd gotten Toki blushing like a schoolgirl instead of the S-class kunoichi she was.

The Shark was rather pleased with himself.

Toki leaned against him as they just sat on a hill and watched life go by in the Village. It was nice to do this and not be on surveillance.

"Thank you, Kisame" Toki kissed his cheek.

"Don't thank me yet, Koneko" he chuckled "I've one last gift for you".

"Jashin, you really pull out all the stops when you spoil a girl don't you?" Toki laughed.

"I don't get to spoil you often" the Shark pointed out. He motioned to her hand.

Toki gave him a confused look but held the indicated hand out to him.

His hands moved over hers. "You know, I'm shitty with romance stuff" Kisame gave her a grin, pulling his hand away. "But... I figured you'd like something a bit more traditional to show my claim on you".

When he removed his hands, a simple silver band sat in her palm. The only thing special about it was the blue sea glass on it, acting as the 'jewel'. It matched the shark charm she still wore even now.

Kisame rubbed the back of his head with a sigh. "It's not like nuke-nins can exactly have legal things either".

Toki was uncharacteristically silent, only moving to put the ring on the appropriate finger and continue to stare at it.

"...Koneko?" Kisame was worried he'd gone wrong somehow after she was quiet and still for a long moment after this.

Suddenly, the Shark found himself glomped with a fierce kiss.

Kisame chuckled and returned it.

Must not've been the wrong move after all.

* * *

**Omake – Presents, 3****rd ****Person POV**

_Sasuke_

The younger Uchiha stared when he saw a cat with a scroll in its mouth waiting at the window.

He seriously considered launching a fireball at it.

Instead, he found himself moving to let the feline in.

The containment scroll produced a letter and another containment scroll.

_Duck-butt-chan!_

_I did promise you presents! These took Jashin damned forever to find. Even your adoptive Tou-san got irritated. Hope you like them! Make sure to go talk to Anko for some teaching or I swear I'll sic Tachi on your Duck-butt self._

_Love,_

_Your adoptive Kaa-chan_

The Uchiha glared at the other containment scroll but opened it. This produced two more _much_ larger scrolls.

On cue the feline hopped, rolling them so he could read the writing.

Summoning: Snakes on the left. Summoning: Hawks on the right.

The younger Uchiha stood there baffled.

"Response?" the cat asked him. Should've know it could talk.

Sasuke glowered for a moment.

"Say... thank you" he answered.

He was not about to turn down this particular gift.

Curse Ka- _no_. That kunoichi.

She was smart.

_Naruto_

The blond stared, having not expected to be woken up but a cat with a scroll at his window.

Upon opening the scroll he received a latter and another containment scroll.

_Naru-chan!_

_Hi! You know how hard you are to shop for?! I tried something the kyuubi would enjoy too, but unfortunately I think he'd just dislike anything I got just out of spite. These were the best I could do. Hope you like them!_

_Love, _

_Your adoptive Kaa-chan_

Curious, he opened the second scroll.

Out poofed numerous items. Several things for making his own ramen. One stuffed fox. And... a tree?

_**That woman found one of those?**_ The kyuubi was stunned.

"What is it?" Naruto asked aloud, studying the tree.

_**An old species of tree. I thought them extinct.**_

"So?"

_**Kit, that woman has defied logic and found something from when I was a kit myself.**_

"You were young?!" Naruto was astounded.

"Response?" the cat asked, having been forgotten.

"Oh! Um... Thanks, Kaa-chan!" Naruto smiled at the cat messenger like he was thanking the kunoichi herself. "Pretty sure the fox says thank you too!"

_**I said no such thing.**_

"You were thinking it" Naruto retorted as the cat vanished.

* * *

_Nope, nothing happens here except a lot of bonding xD Woo!_

_**Next time –**__ "__Koneko, no. You've forcibly adopted enough people"._

"_Too bad Kisame, I'm keeping him too. Besides, he can actually join Yūgure__"__._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Ariados – Eh, when you love someone you put up with all their oddities._

_Shanny – Naruto gets food, a fox, and a tree xD Sasuke gets his Summons._

_Arcami – Karin is rather useless. Not quite Shippuuden yet. One or two more chapters to go._

_White – He'd have to get used to it cause Toki plans on spoiling all he adopted people. But I imagine he would be weirded out._

_Kigi – Thank you! I'm glad you like this! We're a ways away from Lollipop. But he will pay._

_Kakashi – Already answered your question over PM ^^ Itachi is hax. And Dei can never have too much fun with his art. Kisame's used to it. Don't mean it's not annoying. Don't pity Duck-butt. He gets nice things. Nami is kickass._

_Ie-maru – Glad you like it ^^ And honestly I have no idea. I may just make them up as I go... -.-; Have an update!_

_Wonder – The second one. Their brains got fried. That and boys have the most amazing ability to get over fights. It's like magic. ._._

_Nazebaka – The one with the Lollipop will be such a a pain -shudder- I'm glad you laughed! That's more the point to this is to be funny. Not really action-y (is that a word?) Blame the fight for the late update x.x_

_Ajisai -Hell yes! Extermination not quite through. Have to go clear out the nests. Timeskip not yet. In either the next chapter or the one after that xD And I guess that's a good thing. It's still an A_

_Sasksicheez – Pillow forts and nachos?! o.o -instantly joins into the safety of the fort- The Lollipop shall never find us here! As for the others... I have no idea what that makes them. Insane relatives of some sort xD Yeah, the weird parallels might not be a good thing to continue. Especially when they involve greedy chakra-eating swords. Poor you, that sounds like it's a pain D: -pats head when attached to- There there, it'll be okay. We're nice and safe in the pillow fort._

_Cjhoax – Killer Bee does make his reappearance soon-sh ;)_

_Awesome – Thank you very much! :D_

_Fire – Yeah, I just went with a combination of things ^^; _

_Guest – Nope. Kisame kidnaps his own Koneko._

_Gowolf – Thank you! I'm glad that you like this so much :3_

_Shadowelf – Here, have another update :P_

_Freedom – Of course! You can have all the characters you want in the pictures ^^_

_Anon – Yep. Even the hax can be defeated if you've got the numbers. As for Itachi, possibly._

_Blood – I have no honest idea ._._

_Wolves – Canon is with permission only xD Poor Kisame. I really pity him. I'm glad the fight scene was decent ^^; Itachi is terrifying._

_December – Nami is best summon. And Toki just keeps adopting people despite Kisame's best efforts. Hope you liked the fluff xD_

_Im – I mean because Kabuto is hax and Toki is not. And hax characters have a severe advantage over non-hax ones._

_Shattered – Somehow I don't know if that would end well... And Kuama basically ignored the hi. He doesn't however ignore the tree._

_Kasai – Indeed they are! Itachi has yet to be consulted. Toki doesn't know how to approach the older Uchiha about this situation. Sasuke gets some canon things. But only with permission xD Naruto just accepts the positive attention. Nami is the best boss summon a girl could want._

_Marin – I detest fight scenes. Too bad it'd seem creeper-ish for her to have a plush of him in the story xD She's already got the real thing._

_Eternal – Thank you, I'm glad they weren't horrid ^^; Nami is awesome indeed. Now Toki just has to figure out how to bring this up to Itachi. Have an update :)_

_Miss – Duck-butt is going to be not nearly as bad as he was otherwise. How can you not fear Itachi? I have a healthy does of respect for the hax Weasel myself._

_Skyrere – Thank you so much! It means a lot to get compliments like that :3_

_Rae – Have an update then ;)_

_Yuuki – Poor poor Kisame indeed. Not quite to the timeskip just yet. Soon though._

_Paul – Thanks! I just wish they were better ^^; I mean they aren't the focus, yes, but still..._

_Ethorin – Thank you! :) And that is true. Fill in the blanks then, cause there's plenty of them xD_

_Phantom – Not unless you call being forced to dress nicely for a date with the Shark being a Damsel in distress xD_

_Kida – Itachi will not be satisfied however until all traces are gone._

_Obi – I hope it does make things interesting ^^_

_Music – No choice in the matter at all xD_

_ – Itachi is the most hax person. Ever. Nami is less hax and just badass. I have no clue as to the Duck-butt's mental capacities. And Sakura will grow. I promise. Cause PTS Sakura is intolerable._

_Caribbean – I'm glad you like it :3_

_Just – Here, have an update! _

_Shadow – I'm going to pretend I didn't read that then ;) Surprise me._

_Yukino – Thank you so much! I'm glad this is the exception ^^_

_Anima – They don't really. Hidan just goes and says hi. Cause Hidan so would do that._

_Dimensional – Thanks. I did my best ^^; Have another update!_

_Kitkat – We should play dramatic music for the next adoption is soon. Indeed, interesting xD No Zetsu, the seals keep him well away._

_Little – I hope it helps ^^; Have an update!_

_Ice – Cause it's been a long time and he mostly saw Snowy anyway. Gai's made plenty of cameos yet people always want more of him..._

_TheThird – Toki's already told Gaara of her other adoptions. She wouldn't hide such things from her Tanuki-panda. Glad it was decent ^^;_

_Death – I'm glad they're acceptable then ^^; Thank you for liking this! :)_

_Shirori – True. Very true. I don't know about a sequal. Especially since 'children' are still a definate maybe xD_

_Drizzt – Maybe~! ;P_


	41. Not As Planned

_And we're still not in Shippuden :P_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_Beta busy_

_Short chapter is short_

* * *

"Here's the northern one. Damn pedo-snake hid these really well. I even knew what we were looking for" I muttered as the clay bird landed. "This is where he did most of his experiments on people".

"So we get the hideout full of psychos. Sounds like fun" Kisame snickered, sliding off.

We'd initially planned on going to the pedo-snake's lairs in a large group. But, it would risk altering the others affiliated with pedo-snake to flee and lay low. So we'd split up.

Kisame and I were taking the Northern Hideout.

Itachi and Deidara got the Eastern.

The Zombies got the one in Kusa.

Zabuza and Haku were handling the Otogakure base, which I'd told them may or may not be abandoned at this point. Haku would be able to dismantle the traps.

The Weasel's crows were working on finding that one I knew to be somewhere around the Land of Iron, and the Island hideout. Just in case, I'd had him send some to the Land of Sea. I wasn't sure if we'd find the Demon Island one, as that had only been in the anime.

All of the groups had a spare clay bird from the artist on them. Dei would get to turn the four hideouts into simultaneous works of art once we were done cleaning them out.

"Come on, Koneko. Before the little snakes can escape" Kisame chuckling heading inside.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Impatient" I laughed, following after.

* * *

_Deidara and Itachi_

"That's a large door, un" Deidara stared at the stone face that was the proper entrance to the Eastern Hideout.

"It will take some time to figure out how to open it" Itachi admitted. Who knows what traps Orochimaru had laid?

"I got it, yeah" the artist took some clay into his hand, before casually tossing the finished work at the wall. "Katsu!"

Cue one created door into their assigned hideout.

"That most likely alerted anyone inside to us being here" Itachi glanced at his partner. He made a hand sign.

Deidara felt the now familiar sensation of the Weasel working a genjutsu.

"That should detain them from running" the Uchiha started into the hideout.

"What did you do, un?" the artist couldn't help the question as he fell into step beside Itachi.

"A general genjutsu. If their thoughts turn to escape, they'll find everything blocked up except the way that leads right to us" Itachi answered.

"Danna, un?"

"Yes, Deidara?"

"You are absolutely terrifying, yeah. I'm really glad we don't hate each other this time around, un".

* * *

_Kakuzu and Hidan_

"This is the shitty place the bitch fucking described" Hidan nodded to their well hidden destination in Grass Country. "How the fuck do we get in though?"

"Patience, whelp" Kakuzu scolded as his threads suddenly dove into the ground.

There was a moment of surprising quiet, considering who these two were.

"Well, damn old man? That door doesn't seem to be fucking op-"

There was a shudder and the door to the hideout opened as Kakuzu's threads returned to him.

"I fucking stand corrected. You're damn useful sometimes bastard" Hidan smirked.

"You are lucky I do not feel like clearing this place out by myself or I would kill you" Kakuzu glared at him.

"Fucking whatever, whiny bastard" Hidan waved nonchalantly as he strolled into the Kusa Hideout. "I'm sure you'll fucking cheer up after you've grabbed whatever damn bounties are in this shit hole place".

"Many Sound nins are worth quite a lot of money" Kakuzu found himself agreeing as he followed the Zealot down into the dark.

* * *

_Zabuza and Haku_

"Hmph. There it is" Zabuza stared at the obnoxious purple building. "She had better be wrong about this place being abandoned".

"We'll find out soon enough, Zabuza-san. I'm sure there is most likely at least a few left" Haku assured, heading towards the door, before stopping. "Allow me to get rid of these traps though first".

"Fine" Zabuza knew the kid was much better at dismantling these sorts of things than he was.

It took Haku a surprising amount of time, the boy slowly working his way towards the door.

Once at the door, Haku took even longer to dismantle whatever it was trapped with.

Zabuza was growing impatient, growling to himself, hold shifting uneasily on the hilt of his massive blade.

"There we go, Zabuza-san" Haku finally opened the door with a smile "It's safe now".

"About time" Zabuza snarled, heading inside.

Haku followed after him, keeping a sharp eye out for more traps.

* * *

_Toki and Kisame_

"Ok. Ick" I made a face as we stumbled across some poor twisted... thing. It certainly wasn't even human anymore.

"I agree, Koneko" Kisame echoed making a disgusted face "I guess we should just kill it?"

"You take it. I'm checking the cells" I took out a senbon. One by one, I opened the doors, finding them surprisingly empty.

"Careful" came Kisame's warning as he snapped the thing's neck.

"I got it" I answered, unlocking the last one.

And blinked at the sight of orange hair.

My inner fangirl shrieked. Juugo~! I found my favorite Team Taka member!

"Who are you?" he was glaring at me. "What are you doing **here?! GET OUT!**" he lunged for me.

"Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu!"

_Thud! _Juugo had been sent flying into a wall, cracking it with the force of impact.

"Attacking her is not within your best interest, _boy_" Kisame snarled, killer intent instantly spiking like it always did whenever I was threatened.

"You know I could've dodged that?" I questioned him.

"Don't care, Koneko" Kisame glared back. I went towards Juugo. "The hell are you doing?"

"Explaining things" I answered "Hello, Juugo. I'm Toki and that's Kisame".

"You.. know my name? You... beat me... are you with Orochimaru-sama?"

"Fuck no are we with the pedo-snake" Kisame shuddered.

"Pedo-snake is dead. We took him out" I informed.

"You... took out Orochimaru-sama?" Juugo gaped at us.

"Alright, now you're just too cute" I moved to suddenly huggle him.

"Koneko, no. You've forcibly adopted enough people".

"Too bad Kisame, I'm keeping him too. Besides, he can actually join Yūgure" I pouted at him.

"Koneko, he just attacked you" Kisame growled.

"That's cause his absorption of nature chakra gives him fits" I answered.

"You know of that?" Juugo blinked owlishly.

"Of course~ Kisame please~" I gave the puppy-eyes.

"Koneko, that's playing dirty" Kisame groaned "You know the puppy-eyes are a weak point".

"What do you say, Juugo? It's not like you can stay here" I grinned at the ginger. "We can keep your cursed side at bay".

"I... I... Orochimaru-sama..." Juugo was unsure.

"The pedo-bastard was using you" Kisame sighed in defeat.

"Using...me?"

"Yep. Even if you join Yūgure, you won't have to fight if you don't want to" I patted Juugo's head.

"No... fighting?" Juugo was considering it.

"You can do what you want. I know! You can talk to animals right?" I grinned widely.

"Y-yes?"

"Then you can be our spy-master. No fighting involved! Just gathering news".

"Sounds peaceful" Juugo murmured.

"You seriously want to stay in this cell?" I questioned.

"No" he shook his head.

"Then come with us" I offered.

"..." A long moment of silence.

"Please?"

Juugo blinked, not used to being asked to do things nicely. "...Alright".

"Yay!" I huggled him.

"Yet another forcibly adopted psychopath" Kisame sighed.

* * *

_Deidara and Itachi_

"I think we're almost done" Itachi informed the blond.

"About time, un" Deidara sighed in relief. He tilted his head at an odd looking bit of floor. "Trap, yeah".

Itachi turned to his partner "Stay away from it then".

"Danna, there's something wrong, un. Bad feeling, yeah".

"What do you mean Deidara?"

The Hideout shook.

"Did you touch that trap?" Itachi questioned.

"No, un".

The ground was shaking violently.

"We need to get out of here, yeah!"

The roof started collapsing. The two ran for it.

"What happened?!" Itachi demanded.

"I don't know, un!"

The exit was in sight.

A piece of the roof came falling down.

Deidara realized his partner was no longer beside him.

"Danna?! Danna!"

* * *

_Kakuzu and Hidan_

"The fuck is that thing?" Hidan pointed at a strange looking bit of ground.

"Trap" Kakuzu answered.

"Staying the fuck away then" Hidan continued on "We're almost fucking finished with this shit".

"Plenty of bounties too" Kakuzu followed after.

There was a rumbling sound.

"Kakuzu... the shit was that?"

"I don't know".

Suddenly the ground started shaking beneath their feet.

"What did you do?!"

"I didn't fucking do anything!"

The two immortals ran for it, neither wanting to be trapped by the impending collapse.

Bits of roof were coming down.

"There's the fucking exit!"

There was a loud crash as the roof collapsed.

"Motherfucking hell. Got our damn exercise, huh Kakuzu?" Hidan panted. Then blinked. "Kakuzu?" he turned to the collapsed hideout. "Shit! Kakuzu! Can you fucking hear me?!"

* * *

_Zabuza and Haku_

"Watch out for that trap Zabuza-san" Haku warned.

"I see it" Zabuza scoffed at making a trap so obvious. "The traps are just as pathetic as the shinobi we've taken down here".

"At least we're almost done?" Haku offered.

The ground shook beneath them.

"Zabuza-san, did you step on that trap?"

"No" came the gruff reply.

The roof started coming down.

They ran for it.

"The exit" Zabuza nodded to the light.

"Almost there" Haku agreed.

The ceiling came down.

Zabuza sighed in relief. "Must've been a hidden trap. Surprised you didn't see it, Haku".

Silence was his answer. "Haku?"

He whirled to see the collapsed hideout.

"HAKU!"

* * *

_Toki, Kisame, and Juugo_

"Trap" Juugo pointed it out.

"We see it" Kisame nodded.

"That is a rather obvious trap" I agreed.

There was a rumble.

"I didn't do it" I stated.

"Me neither" Kisame agreed.

"Not me" Juugo shook his head.

The Hideout started to collapse.

"The hell?!" Kisame snarled as we started to run "None of us got near that trap!"

"I don't know! Just run!" I called back.

"The exit" Juugo nodded at it.

The ceiling came down.

I panted. "Woo! That was close!"

"I did not know Orochimaru-sa... Orochimaru rigged the hideouts like that" Juugo admitted.

"You alright, Kisame?" I turned.

And saw no one.

"Kisame?"

I looked in horror back at the hideout "Please no..."

"Kisame?!"

No answer.

I felt myself start to cry.

"KISAME!"

* * *

_Deidara_

He just stared in compete and utter shock.

But this was...

But Danna...

Itachi...

He was the most powerful person Deidara knew.

He was not supposed to _die_.

Not like _this_.

Danna had his younger brother to look after.

His little brother _needed_ him.

"Danna" Deidara didn't know what to do.

His explosions would only make things worse.

He couldn't save his partner.

He couldn't even do _anything_.

This was just so...

Wrong.

* * *

_Hidan_

FuckfuckFuckfuckFUCK!

Shit fucking hell!

Kakuzu was fucking hard to kill, right?

Fucking right.

But the five damn hearts...

They could be fucking killed.

And so could the damn old man.

Fuck!

And he couldn't do a fucking thing about this!

He couldn't even move the shitty rocks!

"Kakuzu!" he called to his bastard partner.

There wasn't a damn answer.

FUCK!

"Damn it, fucker! You're not supposed to fucking die!"

His damn bastard partner was supposed to be fucking at his damn side.

Not buried by fucking rocks!

* * *

_Zabuza_

He had found the boy.

Rescued him.

He'd thought he'd lost him once already.

But it was no genjutsu this time.

This was all too real.

That Hideout was collapsed.

And there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do about it.

He stared at the rocks.

No jutsu was able to help in this situation.

He would only succeed in making things worse.

This feeling of helplessness.

He didn't like it.

For all his strength...

He was still powerless.

* * *

_Toki and Juugo_

I just stared at the collapsed Hideout.

"Kisame..." I fell to my knees.

No...

No...

No...

Please...

Juugo cautiously put his hand on my shoulder.

"Kisame".

"I'm sorry..." he murmured.

"He... he's gone"

"I'm sorry"

"But... but..."

Juugo was looking like a helpless puppy.

"He's not supposed to die" I couldn't even see straight through my tears "He's supposed to be here. Supposed to help bring down Obito..."

Juugo just kept up his attempts to comfort me.

"This was never supposed to happen".

"I know".

* * *

**Omake –Drinking Buddies, Hidan POV**

_Enforced Vacation_

He was fucking impressed.

The damn old man really could hold his liquor.

"You're not fucking bad at this shit" he complemented.

"I told you I could hold my alcohol" Kakuzu snapped back at him, downing his drink.

"Fucking impressive".

"I'm surprised you're still able to speak after how much alcohol you've consumed".

"I'm not some pansy ass when it comes to fucking drinking either".

The other damn people in this bar were fucking staring at them both.

They'd downed so much damn alcohol they should be fucking unconscious.

But here they were, sitting and not giving two shits about it.

Heh, the damn old man could be fucking entertaining.

"Kakuzu, we should do this shit more often. I think we're fucking breaking everybody's minds" he snickered.

The miser glanced at the others in this particular bar. "Hmph".

"Next fucking bar?"

"... Fine".

He was going to do his damnedest to keep the fucker as a drinking companion.

It wasn't every fucking day you found a bastard able to drink half the shitty bar and remain practically fucking sober.

* * *

_Don't kill me! This story's not even close to done! Still... -trollface, starts playing troll song- You mad?_

_**Next time –**__No preview this time x) Cause I'm evil and like cliffhangers. MWHAHAHA!_

_**Review Replies! **__(short as I am running late today)_

_Sin – Kisame is adorable_

_Shanny – It's an inherited trait xD_

_Wolves – Not so fluffy this time around. Hehehehe x)_

_Creepy – Thank you!_

_Arcami – Does this answer your question? He takes some convincing. And Ygure gets chaos! That's what they get xD_

_Fire – Yep. See? I do take suggestions ;)_

_Mamix – Nope. All wrong. Juugo, cause he's an adorable psychopath. Dei is wickedly clever to outmaneuver Itachi_

_Guest – They still can't really settle don, but they're basically as offical as they can be._

_Shattered – That's a funny spin off xD Sasuke does have some humor. It's just buried really deep._

_Yuuki – Sasuke will be brought to see sense. Eventually._

_Guest – Thank you :3_

_Death – Yes. Once daily is my goal. And thanks! I'm glad you like it!_

_Yukino – I try ^^; Yeah, these chapters are a tad short, but it's out of necessity. Oooh! Cookie! -noms-_

_Anima – Kakashi is vastly confused. Ibiki escapes. For now._

_White – That was a proposal. Or as close as Kisame gets to one. Luck for him, Toki speaks Shark. Bribes always help xD_

_TheThird – Kisame's brand of romance is certainly unique though. Have an update ^^_

_Shades – I'm glad you like this so much! Thank you! Juugo is certainly not going to tip the scale. He's no worse than Gaara was. Miser and Zealot are actually practically immune to alcohol. Though they're enjoying trolling people with this fact. Kisame is very touchy about people getting near her. It's just that the rest of Yugure is too smart to attempt that. Pfft! That's a great image!_

_Kakashi – Dei doesn't get art as everybody springs traps. Logic? What's this logic you speak of?_

_Eternal – Well, he figured she'd like something a little more traditional. Akira-san Is practically doing a fangirl dance constantly. Wedding isn't for a long time. Nuke-nins don't get nice things like weddings. Have an update!_

_Free – Indeed. But as Juugo was adorable and not that evil, he's added to Yugure._

_Awesome – Though you all would like that :)_

_Just – You might not like this one as much :P_

_Kitkat – Course they can bond! They're people too! Toki won't adopt everyone in Naruto. Only the ones she finds deserving of being forcibly adopted. _

_Nazebaka – You can print it if you want ^^ Alas, I only speak some Spanish and not nearly well enough to translate this. Indeed. Juugo makes four._

_Music – Juugo of course. Adorable peace-loving psychopath._

_Saskicheez – Yay! -noms- Poor Ducky being such an Uchiha. I think they both got the logic defying abilities. Success! A squeal! Scheming partners are the best. Hail the glorious pillow fort indeed!_

_Ie-maru – Nope! Not unless you consider the cursed side a demon. That could work, save me creating so many ninja._

_Dawn – I have no idea how I do it either. Soon we will indeed be free of emo Sasuke. They'll wait. Getting married is essentially painting a giant target on someone for shinobi like them. And nuke-nins don't get nice things like weddings. Nope. Edo-tensei is gone. For the Fourth War it's just Lollipop and Zetsu clones._

_December – Glad you liked it ^^_

_Selkor – The rhyming for B was such a pain D: I adore him but boy is he hard to write. Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy it!_

_Cjhoax - I did warn you it was fluff. The tree is just an old species from when Kurama was a less giant fuzzball._

_Miss – Nope. No Duck-butt. Weasel-fluff is a terrifying and awe worth shinobi. And I though you all would enjoy that :)_

_Guest – You are correct._

_Bibbit – Absolutely nothing cause they're basically immune to alcohol xD Never go drinking with them._

_Pepper – Who says they don't have bad luck sometimes xD Wedding not for a long time. Nuke-nins don't get nice things like that. I've decided to do Omakes about the others to fill in the holes because everyone seems to be wondering about them. _

_Skyrere – Thank you! I do my best ^^; The Gai here... I'm honestly not sure what personality he has outside of his goofball youthful self xD_

_Sam – Not even close_

_Sofie – Thanks :3_

_Ajisai – I know D: Toki inherited the ability to defy logic. Gaara got his sand remember? And Sasuke defies those laws. In canon he has both snakes and Hawks. Somehow. He's an Uchiha and they bend reality. _

_Ethorin – That's not a bad reason, I suppose. Ancient trees are very OP_

_Hunternin – Then it's official then xD This is now canon and most of the Akatsuki aren't bad guys. As for Neji, Toki may or may not. You can never tell with her._

_Ariados – Pfft! Kage Kakuzu. Of a Village named Sakura. Lolz. I'd be laughing right along with the zealot._

_Inumaru – Success! That image does seem very plausible. I can totally picture it xD She'll get some time. Eventually. You'll mostly see that in Omakes though I think. This is amazing fun! I say do it 83_

_ – I've decided to do a few Omakes filling in the blanks of the others on break xD Nope. Alas Kimimaro died as he encountered Lee and Gaara like in canon. _

_Shiori – So close and yet so far. A mini-original sub plot before that though. And no, they can't just go to Konoha and chill xD_

_Ceres – Dunnunnana -snapsnap- Dunnunnana -snapsap- Dunnunnana Dunnunnana Dunnunnana -snapsnap-_

_Radiant – You are precisely correct :3_

_Mick – Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy this!_

_Marina – Kisame is very adorable when he wants to be. And yay! Oooh bonus art? -looks like expectant puppy-_

_Shadow – You can make one, or upload it elsewhere. So long as I can view it and put a link on my profile ^^_

_Coco – Thank you! I though you all would enjoy it :3_

_Knetter – Glasses-creeper... -shudders- You'll see the Ame trio eventually_

_Ice – Kiri? Why would nuke-nins from Mist go back there?_

_Little – Don't think you'll like this one though xD_

_Renna – Probably numerous curse words._

_Deathless – Have an update then :)_

_Nomurai – Neither xD They're both basically immune._

_Xbam – Thank you very much! Here, have an update ^^_

_Kyprioth – Oh dear Jashin that's hilarious! XD_

_Kage – Pfft! Of course she is._


	42. Even Dead Snakes Are Still Venomous

_Wondering how many of you want to murder me xD_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto

_Beginning to think the Beta position of this story is as cursed as Tsunade's jewel :/_

* * *

**Juugo POV**

"My oh my, turning traitor just because some nuke-nins told you I was dead?" came a familiar hissing voice.

But the birds had confirmed it!

He'd heard them as they neared the exit, talking of the death of two great snakes!

"Come on Juugo. It's best you leave them to rot under those rocks".

No!

This **was wrong!**

**WRONGWRONGWONG!**

His rage flared as his cursed state reared its ugly head.

Reality shattered.

It was enough to snap him out of his berserker state.

Blinking found him back in the Northern Hideout, the roof still firmly intact.

...What?

Genjutsu?

A familiar sensation on his skin.

Not just any genjutsu. Genjutsu maintained by nature chakra.

It was how all three of them had been caught, his two companions looking distraught by whatever illusion they were in.

Where was the source? How..?

That trap...

He cautiously approached it. He was not true shinobi. But his nature chakra abilities told him things.

This trap had a lot of wires. Triggered by sound.

Not every sound. A word, one he guessed to be 'trap'.

These wires then opened chakra pathways, accessing the natural chakra the lurked in the land under the hideout, guiding it back here.

Where was the trap point?

There.

The carvings.

The snakes on the walls. It was in their glittering eyes. Though, now free from the initial genjutsu, they didn't have enough natural chakra to trap him again.

He remembered that Orochimaru had been talking about trying to mimic a horrible sounding ability.

This must be the results.

He needed to free the others. Kisame and Toki.

It would take too long to destroy the snake carvings.

So, he did the next best thing.

He slugged Kisame in the jaw.

* * *

**Samehada POV**

It had been trying to fee its master from the genjutsu.

It really had.

But nature chakra was like syrup.

It stuck and clung.

And didn't want to come off.

It had hoped to at least weaken the illusion.

Make it so Master could escape on his own.

But this illusion was as bad as that one from the calm fire chakra man's eyes.

Tsukuyomi.

Samehada didn't usually bother learning the name of jutsus.

It just ate them and their chakra.

But that particular one evaded even it.

Samehada _could_ eat the Tsukuyomi, given enough time.

But it was too fast. A mere second.

The snap of the jaws was always too little too late.

So, for once, it was glad someone landed a punch on Master.

Scales clinked happily as it felt the rush of furious chakra.

"The hell wa-?! … That was _**genjutsu**_?!"

"Hai, Kisame-sama" came the response from the male who tasted of the syrupy nature chakra.

"Just Kisame, boy. Where'd that attack come from?"

"The... thing on the floor".

"The tr-" Syrup stopped Master from finishing the word with a quick gesture.

"That word is the trigger".

"A Sound based... thing. Should've known. Koneko?"

"Toki-sam... Toki is still in her genjutsu".

Smart Syrup. Not hitting the dancing lightning female.

Master was possessive of her.

"Time to wake her up then. If it's anything like what I saw..." Master couldn't continue, still highly distraught by the false images.

Master stood, going to the dancing lightning.

"Rise and shine, Koneko".

* * *

**Normal POV**

Gone.

He was gone.

I didn't know how to continue.

How could I?

He...

We...

It just...

It wasn't fair!

Suddenly, there was the pain of sharp teeth.

Reality warped.

I found myself back in that hallway where we'd seen the trap.

The Northern Hideout was quite intact.

Kisame moved away from my neck, having bitten down hard to break the illusion. "Good to see you back with us, Koneko" he greeted.

"KISAME!" I glomped him, crying my eyes out.

I actually managed to take the Shark down, causing him to go 'oof' as he hit the floor.

I refused to stop hugging him.

"Shh, Koneko. I'm alright" he attempted to soothed me "It was just a nasty genjutsu".

"It was so... real. How did we not sense anything?!" I was still refusing to release my hold, hugging onto him for dear life, loving the sound of his heartbeat.

"It was made from nature chakra" Juugo answered quietly "Orochimaru's doing. I heard rumors he was attempting to mimic a torture genjutsu".

"Allow me to guess. The Tsukuyomi" Kisame snarled, not bothering to try and fight me to sit up.

"Hai, that was the name" Juugo nodded.

"He certainly got the fear and distress part of it right then" the Shark grumbled. "That... thing on the floor is Sound based. It responded to our conversation and triggered".

"There is a dormant genjutsu in the eyes of the snake carvings" Juugo added.

"Koneko... am I allowed up yet?"

"_**No**_" I instantly snapped back.

"Please? Let's get out of this damn place. Then you can cling all you want".

"... promise?" my voice sounded very small.

"Promise. And you know I never break my promises, especially not ones to you".

* * *

**Itachi POV**

The rocks had fallen on his partner.

And for all his power, he'd been able to do nothing about it.

Deidara...

That blond had not deserved that death...

The artist was his partner... they'd grown close... friends of sorts...

And now...

He was gone.

But... there was something wrong...

Something not right...

He activated his Sharingan.

The rocks remained.

Instincts screamed at him that there was something _wrong_ here.

He switched to the Mangekyo.

And the illusion broke under his piercing gaze.

A genjutsu.

One that had required his Mangekyo to break.

How was this possible?

His gaze flicked to the trap.

With every ounce of shinobi skill he possessed, he slowly went to it and started to dismantle it.

Understanding hit on seeing the sound carrying wires.

A Sound trap.

Source of chakra?

The wires went down into the earth... nature chakra?

That explained how even he had been caught and convinced of the new reality.

Where was the trap point?

The glittering eyes of the carvings drew his gaze next.

Ah. That made sense.

He went back to his still held partner.

It was likely Deidara was seeing the opposite situation he'd just been subjected to.

"Apologies" he told the blond, drawing a kunai.

A quick strike, inflicting little damage but causing pain.

The artist yelped, and blinked on seeing him.

"Danna... you're okay, un" Deidara gaped at him Then frowned "A genjutsu, yeah? I though I was better at getting out of them, un".

"It took Mangekyo to break free of the one I was in, Deidara. Do not be ashamed of yourself" he responded.

"Wow, un. Nasty work from that pedo-snake, yeah. Where was the tr-"

He silenced the artist before he could finish.

"That word is most likely the trigger".

"Oh. Sound tr-... thing, un. Somehow not surprised, yeah".

"Let's get going. I don't wish to linger here" he started for the exit.

"Agreed, un. That was too close to your Tsukuyomi for comfort, yeah".

"Hn. I've never been subjected to it, but I believe you have a good point. Orochimaru may have been trying to mimic the Tsukuyomi".

"Trust me, un. That was close enough, hmm".

* * *

**Kakuzu POV**

It was ironic that his partner had met a similar fate as he had been originally meant to meet.

He gave an annoyed sigh at the rocks.

He knew the zealot was alive.

But...

he couldn't do anything to help the whelp.

He had little choice but to leave his companion to rot under a pile of rocks.

For the rest of eternity.

The whelp was annoying.

Damn annoying.

Still... even he did not deserve that.

It... disturbed him.

Not being able to do anything.

He was not accustomed to being useless.

Suddenly there was pain in his shoulder.

And the illusion broke.

The pain had been an accident.

His zealot partner, trapped in an illusion of his own was swing his scythe wildly, as if trying to cut into something that wouldn't yield.

He suspected the whelp saw rocks of his own.

Hm. How had this happened? And how had they both gotten caught?

The glittering snake eyes were his solution.

A genjutsu trap of some sort.

Trigger? Most likely that suspicious trap of before. Seeing as they were in Sound his business sense pointed towards it being set to trigger on some vocal key.

He didn't care about what the word was or where it had gotten the chakra.

He didn't like being taken for a fool.

"Wake up, whelp" his threads stuck out, piecing the man through the heart.

Killing the brat always soothed his ire.

"The fucking shit?! Kakuzu?! You're fucking alive?! The hell is going on?!"

"Genjutsu. Now shut up before I sew your mouth shut".

He would explain once they were out of here, otherwise Hidan would get annoying.

And the whelp was a master at annoying him.

He didn't want to risk getting caught in that trap again though.

It reminded him too much of getting trapped in the Uchiha's Tsukuyomi.

So silence was key.

The zealot had better keep his mouth closed if he knew what was good for him.

* * *

**Haku POV**

Zabuza-san...

Buried under rocks...

And he couldn't...

He was a useless tool after all...

Pain burst along his back from a punch.

And the genjutsu broke.

Zabuza had struck out in his illusion, most likely hitting rocks, if the trap Haku had just escaped was anything to go by.

He moved quickly, trying to find out how they'd been caught.

It didn't take a skilled hunter-trained shinobi like himself to put the pieces together after examining the suspiciously obvious trap on the floor.

Orochimaru...

He played dirty.

From the experience in the illusion, the snake had been attempting to copy Itachi-san's Tsukuyomi.

It wasn't close... but it was close enough at the same time.

Well, the snake head carvings were too numerous to destroy.

So he was left only one other option.

"Sorry, Zabuza-san" he apologized before taking out a senbon and stabbing Zabuza with it.

Zabuza flinched, eyes clearing. "The fu- Haku?"

He was mildly surprised to find himself getting hugged.

The older shinobi was not normally one for open affection.

"Let's go, Zabuza-san. Before it happens again" he attempted to regain freedom.

The old man held onto him for a few moments more. Then Haku was released.

"It's best we stay quiet. The trigger was auditory".

Zabuza glowered but nodded, following after him quickly.

* * *

**Normal POV**

I had never been so happy to see four explosions in my life.

I wished I had a camera so I could watch the three hellholes go 'katsu' over and over and over again.

I almost wished I could being pedo-snake back so I could kill him again.

Slowly.

Painfully.

Feed him his insides while I was at it.

Then again, I refused to move.

I had held Kisame to his promise and reattached to him as soon as I could.

I'd clung the entire time it took us to return to base, introduce Juugo to the others, and even as we heard the similar tales from them.

"Fucker" Hidan growled "I fucking wish I could sacrifice his dead ass to Jashin-sama".

"It was not a proper Tsukuyomi. But... It got some things right" Haku agreed.

"At least they are destroyed. But, we should be cautious in getting rid of his remaining hideouts" Itachi sighed. "I am glad Orochimaru was unable to produce a true copy".

"What he had was enough" Kakuzu muttered.

"It was very convincing" Zabuza snarled, sulking.

"And very disturbing, un" Deidarra finished.

"I apologize for Orochimaru" Juugo ventured.

"It wasn't your fault, kid" Kisame shook his head "You'll have to forgive our moping. We're not used to things going so... badly".

"We have been very lucky" I agreed "Which is unusual. Makes me suspicious".

"It is not luck" Itachi countered "We plan. Yes, plans go badly, as we have seen, though our have a less chance of doing so, considering our situation".

Meaning being eight S-class nuke-nin, Itachi being... well Itachi, and the fact I'd told everyone the future.

"It's been a long day" Kisame moved, a hand easily going around me to support my body since I refused to stop clinging to him. "You can relax as you choose. Good work, everyone. Let's not get trapped again".

With that he carried me back to the room we'd been sharing.

There was a long moment of quiet between us as he walked.

He only released me once we were sitting on the bed.

"Koneko... you okay?"

I nodded.

"You've been especially quiet. Not to mention the fact I've yet to be released once" Kisame wasn't complaining. He was simply very very worried.

"I... understand how you felt all those times" I answered.

"Ah" having seen the reverse himself, the Shark knew I was referring to the times he thought he'd lost me.

"I don't think I could handle losing you. Not for real" I murmured.

"The feeling is mutual, Koneko" his hand started going through my hair in a soothing manner. "I'd be the first one to be going on a suicide mission if I really did lose you".

I couldn't really scold him for that, since I'd had similar thoughts when trapped in the illusion.

"I get the distinct feeling you'd do the same".

I nodded, being honest.

"That just settles it then. Neither of us are allowed to die. Cause if you deliberately went on a suicide mission, I'd hunt you down in the afterlife to personally chew you out until the end of eternity" Kisame chuckled.

I couldn't resist my slight smile "Yeah, I wouldn't be happy with you either".

"As I said. No dying allowed".

"I won't if you don't".

He laughed, grinning "Alright. That's a promise then".

And we kept our promises.

* * *

**Omake – Sweets, Itachi POV**

_Enforced vacation_

He examined the menu, resisting the temptation to sigh at the blond sitting with him.

The artist's goal in telling him of this place had been painfully clear after seeing Deidara flirting with the waitress.

He nibbled on he customary dango as he considered getting something else.

At least the sweets here were truly good.

Otherwise, he would've been most displeased with the artist.

But, as they were good, he found himself more tolerating of Deidara's antics.

And...

if he was honest...

It was _slightly _amusing to see the blond flirting with the waitress.

Who was clearly not interested at all.

He was mildly impressed that she hadn't flirted with either of them.

Perhaps a large tip was in order.

Yes, in fact it was.

Quick, efficient service of quality food, all while not flirting once with either of them, and ignoring the flirting sent her way.

Yes, she'd get a nice tip.

* * *

_-troll song playing- Some of you caught on to me with the genjutsu. Saying how suspicious it was that all of them had similar traps spring ;) You're too smart for my evil-ness._

_**Next time –**__ "__Naruto-san's returned from his training"._

"_Thank you, musuko"._

"_Now the real chaos starts"._

"_Fucking finally. Some real damn fun"._

_**Review Replies!**_

_Shanny – Have to have a little fun xD They do. It was basically pedo-snake's last bit of venom._

_Sin – I am aware. They were in danger, yes. But I'm not that cruel. If Yugure members go down, they shall go down epically._

_Skewed – Hope you like me a bit more now xD_

_Free – That is an awesome song to have stuck in your head though._

_Wolves – Yes. Indeed I did. And because cutenes makes things like that all the more painful. And don't forget while Kakuzu is a bitch to kill, he can still die._

_Kakashi – As if the Weasel would die such a lame death. _

_Guest – Well a preview would spoil things. And I do happen to enjoy the cliffhanger every once in awhile._

_Shattered – Indeed she wouldn't. It's a mutual feeling. She certainly understands what he felt now though._

_Marin – Yep. I know, I'm evil. Yay! Bonus art! 8D_

_Arcami – As if they would die such lame deaths._

_Yukino – Thank you :3_

_Ryn – Hehehehe -evil smile-_

_Okuto – Here, have an update! Don't sacrifice me!_

_Ie-maru – Juugo is now offical spymaster of Yugure. So he's usful and not having to fight :3_

_Fire – Of course not. Those are lame deaths. If they go down, they're going down epically._

_Makmix – It's actually a genjutsu trap, but eh you were close enough. I really should have counted how many people called the genjutsu trick._

_Eternal – Here you go! Have an update! And of course they'd never die such lame deaths. Juugo is unoffically adopted and official spymaster x3_

_Coco – Here, have an update :D_

_Kasai – Hehehehe. Not giving a preview was precisely the point of the whole thing. It's ruin the fun._

_Just – Blame pedo-snake and his obsession with Uchihas. Have an update ^^_

_Imagine – I know. It was fun seeing everyone yelling at me though xD_

_Zuma – They aren't. And of course __**I **__would do no such thing. But it's actually one last bite from a dead snake._

_Sam – Juugo is adorable. Thank you! :)_

_Bibbit – It's fun to be bad every once in awhile. Hidan is so much fun xD_

_Little – Yet another person who called it. Or at least the suspiciously similar part. _

_Okit – Drama indeed xD Have an update!_

_Wind – I'm not __**that**__evil. Especially not giving them such lame deaths. Juugo is so adorable -huggles-_

_TheThird – You called it. I'm not sure I should be surprised people caught it or that people didn't._

_Cjhoax – It's a tree. I don't feel like looking up old supposedly extinct Japanese tree species xP_

_Chibi – Hehehehe. Ahh this was so much fun. Nope, but if they'd died in the genjutsu, they would have truly died._

_Yuuki – And another person who caught it. And don't forget that Kisame is pretty fast when he wants to be._

_Ariados – Nope. All just a last bit of evil left over from the pedo-snake._

_Nourai – To go drinking. They enjoy the taste. And breaking everyone's mind as they calmly walk away when they should have lost consciousness ten glasses ago. An auditory trap._

_White – This makes another person who noticed it._

_TheName – I have to have a little fun every now and then. Plus, have to remind you all that bad things can happen in this tale. -pats head- Everything will be okay_

_Inumaru – Oh dear -pets head- It's okay_

_Awesome – Nope! Pedo-snake genjutsu trap!_

_Skyrere – My Gai isn't an idiot. He's just... Gai. YOUTH!_

_Lady – Juugo is too adorable to resist xD Indeed it does. But the trap did not work as expected._

_Blood – A couple hours, depending on what the content is. _

_Miyu – And another person who noticed that those deaths were far too lame._

_Doggy – Indeed it was xD_

_Nazebaka – Fear the cliffhangers! It's a hax trap, using nature chakra to avoid detection. Pedo-snake was exceptionally evil in creating it. _

_Een (x2) – Toki only adopts those she finds worthy x3 Snowy will have a larger role in later chapters._

_Ajisai – Because it was fun seeing everyone yelling at me xD An AU chapter? Like what?_

_Sofie – Of course they wouldn't die such lame deaths._

_Ann – An evil one xD Everybody loves Juugo._

_Ethorin – They can't murder Kabuto. Glasses-creeper is already dead. But now they will proceed with more caution. _

_Triple – Here, have an update xD_

_Manami – No joke. Pedo-snake trying to copy Tsukuyomi. Have an update xD_

_Rose – The feels are everywhere! And I'm not that mean. If they go down it won't be such a lame death._

_Knetter – Le gasp!_

_Ceres – Nope. One dead pedo-snake actually._

_Angelic – Ironically saved by Zabuza punching him._

_Kitkat – Here, have the solution. And Juugo so deserves a lot of credit, putting up with Duck-butt. Suigetsu is still with Mangetsu. You can come out of the corner now._

_Shadow – They wouldn't die such lame deaths xD If they go, they go epically._

_Ice – They're not very fond of Kiri though. They don't care about a pardon._

_Little – Mwahahahaa! :3_


End file.
